Tagline: Ty never dreamed of going to Paris until he met Angie...then she gave him the surprise of his life!Observations: This was such a great story! I was genuinely surprised at the plot twist and it's hard to surprise me. I think this week is a good week to talk about showing not telling. This is a phrase writers hear often, and it is true most of the time. But if you look at this story, you'll see it's probably half showing and half telling. This is because of the word count. You only have 800 words to use. You have to forward the plot along using transitions. Let's see how this panned out with this story.
Scene 1 - Ty and Angie meet in the library.
Scene 2 - We transition to Tuesday at the French for Travelers class.
Scene 3 - We transition again to that weekend when they see a French film and kiss.
Scene 4 - After yet another transition to the next day at work when he asks his travel agent about flights to Paris in the spring, we skip forward to their second date. Then, we fast-forward a year to their honeymoon in Paris.
So, six time transitions! That's a lot, but a lot happens in this story. We go from boy meets girl to boy marries girl in 800 words. That's how it's done, ladies and gentlemen. Make transitions your friend, and you'll move your plot along.
Photo credit: Chris Drumm (Flickr cc)
6 comments:
Good story. I also noted how quickly it moved along.
I really liked the writing in this story. The plot seemed kinda familiar, but I thought it was especially well handled.
Kate, I hate that robot thing. The photos are so dark they can make the process impossible. You may never see this comment.
I also liked this story. I also noted the many transitions and thought it was done very well. It was a good one to study.
Mary Jo, I swear I turned off the robot thing! I don't understand it.
Thanks for pointing out all those transitions, Kate. I loved this story and was amazed at how much happening in so few words. Great job, Rochelle
So cute! I loved that neither one of them had any interest in Paris, just each other. Thanks Kate for the lesson on transitions. I would have never thought you could have squeezed so many meetings into an 800 word story. I'm going to try adding a few transitions into the story I'm working on.
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