Observations: First of all, this is my 500th post!!! I can't believe it. Not all 500 are story analyses, but most of them are, and I don't plan on stopping anytime in the near future.
I adored this story, maybe because I work with chocolate croissants every day! LOL
A few things I wanted to point out about this story...
There is a part in the middle that fast-forwards us through time. It's a "telling" passage, as opposed to "showing." This kind of device helps the reader feel as if the story is longer than it really is. I have to admit that when Rachel gets back in town and sees the canopy and tables, I was totally surprised. It's hard to surprise me in a Woman's World story!
Here's a line that I loved:
The girl smiled. "Oh, you must be the chocolate croissant."
LMAO. FYI, this is totally how we Starbucks baristas sometimes refer to our regular customers--by their drinks, not their names (which we sometimes don't know or can't remember).
In a Woman's World story, you can refer to physical attraction, but do it discreetly. This is how Michaels did it...
The broad smile on his face and the warmth in his eyes had her pulse racing.
That's all it takes. Just a sentence. :)
Photo credit: Joy via Flickr CC license
3 comments:
Congrats on your 500th post. Glad you don't plan to stop any time soon.
This was a cute story.
Wow! 500th post. Way to go, Kate.
I thought this was a great story also.
Thanks, Sandy and Pat!
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