Tagline: Katherine didn't have time for love, but when Don walked into her life, she realized she had seen his blue eyes before...in her dreams!
Observations: First a couple of general observations about the layout of the story. THERE'S A HOT GUY PIC! Holy moly, people. It's not a puppy or a kitten or a latte with a foam heart. Is this a trend? We shall see. Also, the print is bigger now, and I wonder if this is a nod to a readership who isn't getting any younger. I certainly had an easier time reading it. Also, it made the story look much longer.
Overall, very cute story and well written. That was a neat twist that they'd actually met when they were kids, even if Katie was the only one who actually realized it.
However, at the beginning of the story, I noticed something I was taught to avoid, something I call, "As you know, Bob." It's the backstory presented in conversation, but it's information that both characters already know. Clearly, Liz knows about Katherine's recurring dream because she says, "Did he actually say anything this time?" It's no big deal. Obviously the editors had no problem with it, but if it had been my story, I'd have done the recap of her dream as part of the narrative and not dialogue. Other than that, no complaints!
Photo credit: David Goerhing via Flickr CC license
3 comments:
I thought this was a really cute story. Now I must go back and look for the Hot Guy Photo. LOL
I also find the story easier to read. I love the new format as a reader, but as a writer...not so much. It's more difficult to cut and save the story pages.
Thanks for the analysis, Kate. As you know, these little romances are edited, maybe by several people, before they go to print. I don't think the original version read like a "as you know, Bob" moment. I really like to start a story with dialog as I think it immediately draws the reader into the story.
I hope WW continues with the two-page presentation of the Romance. It looks great...very impressive.
I'm way behind reading the stories, but I did enjoy this one. It was different with the dream and the twist that they might have met as children. I enjoyed it.
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