A Truly Special Treat

by Veda Boyd Jones from the January 14, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her husband died, Cheryl lost all of her joy. But on a trip to the Grand Canyon, a handsome stranger showed her how beautiful life can be.

Stream of Consciousness Observations:

First paragraph, we get her backstory. As noted before, the stories are very short, so best to get that important info across succinctly. She's a widow and it's been two years. If you're a regular reader of Woman's World romance, you already know this will be a "moving on" story.

I like this description: But as the deep reds and golds of the canyon swirled on her television...

Time to start living again. -- Yep. A "moving on" story, all right.

Another very nice description: She shivered, eyes wide at the wondrous pageant before her as the rising son illuminated the canyon's rich purples, reds and golds.

"Over here, Angie." -- Ah! It's also a misunderstanding story. Again, veteran readers will know that Angie's not the wife. She's a sister or friend or co-worker. LOL This doesn't take anything away from the story. This is the "black moment" of the story when we think there won't be a happy ending. Notice that it occurs in the middle of the story, whereas in a novel, it occurs more in the last third of the book. We still feel the Cheryl's disappointment, but as readers, we also are in on the secret that Glen is actually available and we anticipate that moment of surprise when she finds out the truth.

Angie's the sister. Called it!

I love the conniving sisters. LOL

More vivid description: Outside, the sky lit up in fiery yellows and magenta, as the shadows of the canyon turned gorgeous royal purple.

This story had a strong color motif, which is something I don't see often in Woman's World stories. Nicely done. This story also felt more romantic than the last few stories. Having read the story, I think the title could have been more clever.

Photo credit: lwtt93 via Flickr CC license

The Man with a Plan

by Kay Layton Sisk from the January 7, 2019 issue

Tagline: Tom is dying to meet his beautiful new neighbor, Jennifer, but can never find the right time...until a snowstorm gives him a chance to warm her heart.

Observations: I remember back when I was first targeting Woman's World as a publication I wanted to write for, the first story I read in their magazine had a dog in it. There came a time when people noticed that they liked dogs in their stories--so much so that they eventually put the kibosh on dogs for a little while because they were getting so many submissions with canines. LOL

This was a cute story. I liked all the action in it. There was a nice "full-circle" element--starting with the snowstorm and the good news/bad news thing and ending with the line:

"As Tom felt a radiant warmth spread in his chest, he realized the snowstorm was good news after all."

I did catch a typo. Did anyone else see it?

Photo credit: FarCryStudios via Flickr CC license

New Year, New Beginning

by Nina Singh from the December 31, 2018 issue

Tagline: Gina's New Year's resolution is to take more risks, but when her business partner, Rafe, puts it to the test, will she be able to make the leap?

Observations: This week I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness critique, which means, I read the story and type my thoughts as they occur to me.

"One tall peppermint latte with a shot of espresso." - Tall lattes automatically have a shot of espresso. Maybe he meant an extra shot.

...tall, dark and handsome man - Not loving the cliche.

"That's why our partnership works so well." - I'm wondering what business they run together.

"These peppermint lattes should be available all year," Gina said. - I work for Starbucks and as a public service announcement, I will tell you that you can, indeed, get peppermint lattes and peppermint mocha lattes all year. The only thing that will be missing are those chocolate shavings on top. The shavings we only get during the holidays.

You two are so cute when you almost-flirt. - Love this line. I love snarky secondary characters.

There was so much to do before they began decorating the small advertising agency. - Aha! It's an advertising agency.

"Didn't she tell you? She said she had to run out. It's just you and me, it seems." - Okay, wait. It's only a three-person office? Before it said "They both had so much fun planning the event and pulling it together." That's a bit of an overstatement if the party only involves three people, max. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I'd never throw a party, complete with streamers, for three people unless it was extenuating circumstances, like someone was sick in the hospital and the party was in their room.

Edited to add: someone pointed out to me that it was probably a party for clients as well. Now I feel dumb for not realizing! LOL

"We seem to have found ourselves under leftover mistletoe from the Christmas party." - I'm being really snarky here, but obviously they enjoy throwing parties for just three people.

I'm at the end of the story and I know it's only 800 words, but I think I'd like to have seen that conversation in which they resolve the problem be a little meatier. I feel like it wrapped up too fast, like they didn't address the possible problems well enough. Of course, this isn't their only chance to talk about things, but just a sentence or two more from Rafe when he was declaring his feelings would have made me feel better about their budding romance.

Also the photo of the two people holding the heart balloon is a strange choice.

Even so, I did like the story and am glad that the Harlequin authors' stories seem to be fitting in more with the tone of the "normal" Woman's World stories.

Photo credit: skeddy in NYC via Flickr CC license

Home for Christmas

by Clare Connelly from the December 17, 2018 issue

Tagline: When Captain Jake Casey returns to his hometown for the holidays, he searches for the woman he loved, [sic] and had left behind. And under mistletoe, he finds a Christmas miracle.

Observations: This was a charming story that was full of the type of small town nostalgia that Woman's World loves.  Connelly really packed in a lot of lovely description and did a great job of weaving Jack's backstory and the circumstances of his leaving into the narrative.

I especially liked this part:

Her eyes locked on his and for an instant, he saw her as she'd been when they first met when they were both 5 years old. Then as a 15-year-old, dancing with him under the stars, when she'd said she loved him for the first tim [sic]. The 18-year-old who'd cried and slapped him when he'd enlisted without telling her.

Wow. You could see their entire history in one paragraph. I might have fixed the double "whens" by saying "when they first met at 5 years old."

I also wanted to point out that the story starts just moments before the black moment. In case you aren't familiar with the term, the black moment is the part of the story when you think all is lost. This is a great structure to use for a short second-chance romance. 

Photo Credit: Martin Pettitt via Flickr CC license

A Christmas Wedding

by Mary Jo Young from the December 10, 2018 issue

Tagline: As a jewelry designer, Jules has made many wedding rings, [sic] but worries she'll never have one of her own...until she meets one special customer.

Observations: I really liked the drama of this story. It wasn't over the top. But that's nothing new. Woman's World doesn't like melodrama. For some reason, I wasn't expecting a mistaken identity, even though all the clues were there.

The only thing I question is that Jules is the designer, so she must have discussed the design of the ring with someone and I assume it wasn't the groom, which is a bit odd.

Photo credit: trendyideas via Flickr CC license