Stream of Consciousness Observations: Aloha! I'm on vacation on Hawaii island, people! I apologize for not posting for a while. I was at a writer's conference in Houston, home for three days and then off to Hawaii. Not that I'm complaining! The conference was amazing. I'm on fire to get writing, which is a fantastic feeling. And now I'm drinking in the warm and inviting island frame of mind. Hopefully, I'll come back home focused and ready for the holidays!
So, on with the stream of consciousness analysis!
I immediately identify with Kerry. Her experience as a bridesmaid is familiar to me. I was actually only a bridesmaid once, but even attending weddings with a long time boyfriend can bring on that "left behind" feeling.
OMG. The black moment within the first third of the story? And such a dramatic one? This is not usual.
Okay, now we get more of the backstory, which is fine. You can sprinkle in backstory (anything relevant that has happened prior to the present moment) anytime you want.
As a die hard romance reader, I know that Hunter just needed to see the light, so I'm not too worried.
He just showed up with the giant pumpkin, which is appropriate for the time of year in the story, but puzzling to me as the reader. This isn't a particularly romantic object, but I will keep reading.
I have read the rest of the story and I'll preface my final comments by saying I'm a critical reader, as you probably already know. This ending didn't resonate with me. If it had been my story, I'd have made Hunter prepare and execute the Proposal That Should Have Been, something a little grand or special or personal. I mean, he did realize she was the one after a little bit of stewing time, but the way the story was written, he was still not all systems go. He got the pumpkin and wasted time talking about helping her carve it. I get that the author wanted to wring out the emotion and have Kerry twisting in the wind longer, but I think she suffered enough. I think when Kerry opened the door, he should have put the plan into motion and floored her (and us readers) with his speech and groveling.
However, the editors published this story as is, and this is only my opinion. Your mileage may vary and even with the most wonderful story in the world, there will always be people who don't like it. This blog is only me sharing what I think and trying to find teaching points to help writers who want to write for Woman's World.
Photo by ellenm1 via Flickr CC license.
