by Mary Ann Joyce from the January 31, 2022 issue
Tagline: An odd request brings strangers Bruce and Jolene out into the winter night for some ice cream...and into each other's hearts.
Observations: Admittedly, I'm a little hazy on the difference between the third-person omniscient POV and a story that switches between different character's third person limited POVs. I'm leaning more toward omniscient with this story, just because we are seeing the story unfold without really delving too deeply into any of the characters' minds. But please, feel free to correct me in the comments.
To be clear, this is not head-hopping. Head-hopping, I think, is third person omniscient done badly. This is not that. Third person omniscient is a legitimate, time-honored way of telling a story that just isn't as popular now as it used to be. In fact, when I read a fully third-person omniscient book, it feels old-fashioned and strange.
Regardless, I felt no abruptness at the changes. Everything felt very smooth.
We start out with Bruce. We then switch to Mimi for one brief paragraph. Next, we're with Trudy, the friend, who gets her granddaughter involved by asking her to get some of the mint chip ice cream. We swiftly transition to the granddaughter, Jolene as she heads to the store. We then are with Bruce and Jolene at the store, and at the end, we see all four together.
I've spent quite a while analyzing the transitions, trying to see if there are any tricks I can point out. And I really can't see anything in particular, which is why writing is an art, not a science. Let me know if you spot something in the comments.
On a side note, I adored the spy talk. So funny.
Photo credit: CeresB via Flickr Creative Commons License
5 comments:
I thought this was a cute story. Being a Nora Roberts fan, I didn't notice the POV changes so I'm going back and take a better look.
The change of POV seems to work well in this story. I agree with you, Kate, that 3rd person omniscient feels strange now to read. But this story read smoothly. It was cute.
Sandy, don't you notice how far apart you the reader and you the writer are with "writing rules" and how they work?
On a second read, Kate, I see all you pointed out in this post, but the first time around this story read so smoothly I didn't notice any of it.
Thank you ladies! I had fun writing this one up, but yes, the changing point of view was a bit of an issue. At least when it came to making it work without seeming abrupt or too much of a shift in an 800 word story. I drafted and re-wrote a few times for sure!
Good point about Nora Roberts. I'm a fan too, and it sometimes still takes me a chapter or two to reacclimate my brain to her POV changes. But she does it smoothly. I think the only reason I notice it is because I'm a writer.
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