Special Delivery

by Crystal Moore from the August 14, 2023 issue

Tagline: Back in the beach town of her childhood, Marina reconnects with an old crush from a pizzeria...and love is on the menu.

Observations: This was a darling story, despite the somewhat purple beginning. 

...a cry of agony pierced the night.

I haven't talked about a 3-act structure in a while and this story definitely has that. 

Act 1, we're introduced to Marina and her situation. She's coming off a break-up, she's at a beach rental she came to as a child, she had a crush on a pizza guy one summer and she's very sunburned.

Act 2 we meet the pizza boy, all grown up. We get information about how old they are--something I really appreciate when I'm reading Woman's World stories. Because they welcome adult protagonists of all ages, it's difficult to fully picture the characters if the author doesn't tell us how old they are. The same story can read very differently if it's about twenty-somethings vs seventy-somethings. 

Act 3, surprise! He returns with aloe gel, like the hero he is. And he asks her out. I liked his little jibe about red being her color. I always love humor in the story.

Photo by Ruth Hartnup via Flickr Creative Commons License

Good Old Summer Love

by Marcella Robinson from the July 31, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Gloria misses her exit during a storm, she stops at a local diner...and gets the surprise of a lifetime when her first crush steps out to greet her.

Observations: I thought this was a charming story. Robinson does a great job connecting the reader to the heroine, Gloria, by showing Gloria doing something we've all done--missing a freeway exit. We immediately identify with her. Then look at this next paragraph.

Lately, if she wasn't skipping by an exit, she was making a wrong turn. Yet she was filled with a sense of pride for venturing out on her own after her divorce.

Here, Robinson shows us that Gloria isn't a basket case. She's gotten past her divorce and is ready for the next phase in her life, which is perfect timing, right? Because Gloria is in the right frame of mind, we readers will be more willing to believe that a real relationship will grow between her and Ethan. Granted, this is a subtle detail, but if you lay the groundwork for the happily-ever-after properly, when the story is done, the reader will feel more confident that the couple will end up in love and they'll feel those feel good endorphins kick in, which is what we want!

Photo by waferboard via the Flickr Creative Commons License

The Art of New Love

by Wendel J. Potter from the July 24, 2023 issue

Tagline: All set up for her annual art festival, Delaney is excited for what's in store...but she never expects a handsome newcomer to steal her heart.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I love art festivals so I'm drawn into the story. 

Delaney has clearly attended college in the past, but we're not told how long ago. I have little idea of how old our heroine is. The only clue is that she's finding this dark haired man attractive and thinks he's a possible love interest, so she could be mid-twenties to mid-thirties?

Oh, the money from the art sales goes to needy kids? That's admirable, but the sign she hangs should state that. Money going to worthy causes is a powerful promotional tool. Talk about that rather than the fact that it's a silent auction.

He's only submitting one drawing, so he doesn't need an entire table.

If she planned to hang it on a wall then she why did she say she'd prepare a table for him?  

I'm confused as to why the drawing had to be covered until noon. What reason would Eric have? Her surprise and delight would be just as vivid no matter when he showed her. And why would she allow him to keep it covered in the first place? The passers-by would be unable to bid on it which defeats the purpose of the show.

Oh, I love the black moment, where Eric thinks she has a problem with his drawing and then she quips his own comment from the beginning of the story of her flyer leaning to the left. Genius! That's a black moment and bookending put together. Great job.

Despite all my notes on this story, I still enjoyed it, probably because the ending was spot on. 

Photo by Communications Office via Flickr Creative Commons License