by Shannon Fay from the March 18, 2024 issue
Tagline: When Melanie went to the park to pick clovers for an upcoming art project, she never expected that her excursion could lead to finding a stroke of good luck on her own--and the possibility of a chance at happily ever after.
Observations: I thought this was a fun, well-written story that follows the structure and story elements we expect from a Woman's World romance. Let's go through them, one by one, shall we? LOL
The heroine is presented along with her goal--finding four leaf clovers for her bookmarks.
She meets a man, whose goal is finding his lost keys. He also has a cute dog whose plot purpose is revealed later.
Someone has to make a move, and in this story it's Melanie. She suggests they look for the keys and the clovers together. (If the hero makes the move, it's fine, it's traditional, but if the heroine makes it, it demonstrates her confidence or her willingness to take chances or action to achieve happiness.)
They engage in conversation. This conversation accomplishes a few things. The dog is used as a vehicle to reveal that Wyatt is single. It establishes that Wyatt is a good listener and they make a solid connection. You must establish a connection between the characters, physically and mentally. You do this by showing and sometimes by telling. In this story, Fay shows them connecting over her making paper, then follows up with a "telling" paragraph that describes that they spent a lot of time together and the heroine "didn't want it to end."
We come to what is developing into a Woman's World cliche--the hand holding. <sigh> I am not against holding hands in a story, per se. It's a fantastic way to show a relationship in its early stages developing. However, I don't relish it happening too fast in the relationship, i.e. within an hour of meeting someone, not without good reason, like helping someone to their feet after they've fallen or onto a rocking boat. Here, Wyatt has a good reason to offer his hand--he's helping her up from a crouch. Thumbs up. But forcing physical contact for the plot isn't being true to your characters. Imagine yourself in the woman's place. In the exact same circumstances, would you like the man to hold your hand or be creeped out about it?
Wyatt takes the next step and asks her out to dinner. I like this because earlier, it was Melanie who suggested they search the grass together, so this makes things even and suggests a give and take that would serve them well should things develop between them.
Lastly, we've ended the story with a callback to the beginning. I like to call this coming full circle. Melanie remembers the clover she found and wonders if it brought her some good luck.
Photo by Cygnus921 via Flickr CC License
