Tagline: Abby's nostalbic visit to the carnival leads to a chance encounter, sparking a connection that promises new beginnings.
Off the Cuff Observations: I'm criminally behind on the blog, so I'm going to do the "quickie" analyses by jotting down my thoughts as I read the story.
While I don't love actually attending carnivals because I don't like those kinds of rides, I love the idea of a carnival as a story setting.
Oh, funnel cakes. Yeeesssss. So unhealthy but so good. I miss having school-aged kids because they were a good excuse to splurge on that and have a couple of bites to satisfy the craving.
Wroblewski sets the scene and the mood well before we meet the love interest.
There was an instant connection neither of them could ignore.
I like this line which shows the spark without mentioning electricity. I'm also thinking this seems to be told in an omniscient POV.
She in turn shared her own journey--a turbulent marriage that ended in divorce and her new life of independence and self-discovery.
I feel that last part of the sentence embodies the kind of heroine and attitude we see often in Woman's World stories. We want characters with optimistic attitudes who are ready for love.
The lights twinkled like stars...
I'm suddenly a little confused about what time of day it is. Further ahead it says "rest of the evening," so I guess it was late afternoon when she got there...?
...both felt a sense of hope and possibility.
Here is where I was absolutely sure this was an omniscient POV.
The flow and structure of this story is a bit different. I notice the prolonged ending. It could easily have ended here:
With a gentle kiss on the cheek, they parted ways, both feeling excited for what the future might bring.
Or here:
As Abby drove home, she couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, some of the best and brightest moments in life happen when you least expect them.
Okay, it actually could have ended on any of the last five paragraphs, but with all those paragraphs included, the author leaves us basking in a wistful, quiet hope.
Photo by chascar via Flickr CC License
3 comments:
This was such a good story with wonderful descriptions. I agree with you, Kate, that the time of day was confusing. I pictured daytime until the twinkling lights were mentioned. I also agree that while the story was mostly Abby's viewpoint, it was omniscient in about three places. I was also surprised at the number of concluding paragraphs. As you said, each could have ended the story. Had I been writing it, I would have figured the editor would cut some of it off.
Sandy, you're getting to the point where you could write the blog! LOL
Thank you, Kate. That is kind of you to say.
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