Tagline: After a local fall 5K, Adam and Sandra reminisce about their first run together--rekindling memories and discovering a spark that may lead to something more.
Observations: Wow. I haven't read a story so warmly romantic in Woman's World for a long time. Let's look at what makes it so dreamily sigh-inducing.
First, the couple have a history. She's been coaching him as a member of her beginners running group. They respect each other; he is grateful for her encouragement and she admires his determination. This is a good basis for a relationship and readers will mark this in their minds.
Adam's rainbow memory isn't just a couple of sentences. Ms. Dusseau uses quite a few words to set the scene, establish a physical attraction (the ubiquitous sparks), and most importantly, establish Adam being "unquestioningly smitten." Not only that, but we share this "knowing" moment with him...
"Oh, I remember," he replied quietly, with a smile.
This one sentence emphasizes the significance of that memory. So, we're already anticipating an escalation in their relationship, which we get. He asks her out and she accepts.
That's when Dusseau makes a real effort to create a mood, using words and phrases like:
soft rumble
gracing
leaned into
cool mist
slow classic love song
gentle kiss
swayed softly
magic
slowed its pace
embers...simmering
By the time the story is over, we're swaying to the music too, wistfully and vicariously living out the moment along with Adam and Sandra.
Photo by Ryan via Flickr CC License
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