A flurry of snow--and a little fate--brings Holly a second chance at first love just in time for the holidays.
Off the Cuff Observations
Dashing out of the frosty falling snow and into her cozy candy store, Holly Nicholas let the tantalizing aroma of homemade chocolates wrap around her like a warm hug.
Okay, can we talk about this sentence??? First, it really sets the scene and lets us know Holly owns a candy store. It brings in the sense of smell, which is often neglected in descriptions. There are two lovely examples of alliteration. And it is packed with holiday references.
She uses these holiday-evoking words dashing (dashing through the snow), frosty (the snowman), wrap (wrapping presents). And did you notice her name? Give that a second look please and then give Lisa Weaver a little salute.
Oh, a gingerbread latte. Those are yummy. Starbucks used to have a gingerbread loaf with this lovely creamy frosting on it, but it's been discontinued. It was so moist and yummy and I miss it.
...quivering like Santa's belly when he laughed... -- Love it.
I don't know if I'm stretching the holiday reference thing too far but Gabe's last name, Kingsman, might be referring to the three kings. And their town is Merrylake.
Oh, I did not see his visit coming. Talk about story pacing!
The promise of delicious possibilities hung in the air between them. -- This is very subtle, but notice the use of the word delicious and how it ties in with the candy shop. It's minute details like this that are the mark of a pro.
They're going to see A Christmas Carol. I will never forget the time I saw it with Patrick Stewart playing Scrooge. I love him, but I fell asleep, despite all my efforts to stay awake. So disappointed with myself for missing the entirety of his performance.
Another surprise was that they both had the same idea for the date. This is another detail that you may not notice consciously. I think this could indicate that they think in the same way--a sign that they might make a good couple. We readers always want to believe they have a future of happiness ahead of them and the more you can convince us that they are a good match beyond that meet cute, the more satisfying the story will be.
Thank you, Lisa, for writing a story that had so much for me to talk about!
Photo by Rachel Tayse via Flickr CC License
2 comments:
I'm so glad you enjoyed my short story Kate. I had so much fun writing this one. Thanks for the lovely review!
Apologies. I posted and I didn't realize my name had defaulted to 'anonymous'. Thanks again for your kind words.
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