A Sweet Surprise

by Susan C. Hall from the June 28, 2010 issue

Tagline: Gretchen had no trouble guessing the identity of her not-so-secret admirer

In a Nutshell: Gretchen owns a flower shop. A male customer ponders how her boyfriend could surprise her, since flowers are obviously out, and remembers a TV show where a guy gave his girl a puppy with a bow around its neck. Later in the day, a box shows up. It's a stuffed dog, complete with a bow. Guess who brought it!

Observations: I thought both the author and the heroine were clever in revealing and finding out the hero's name--via the credit card.

Did you catch the foreshadowing of what the hero is going to do later in the story? If you're a regular of this blog and read the Woman's World stories weekly, you may have. It's not that hard because the stories are only 800 words long. The authors can't exactly slip it in unnoticed amongst the other eighty thousand plus words. Still, it's a necessary tool.

I do have to admit, I wondered if he was going to be ridiculous and give her a real puppy. You can't give someone a live animal without being sure they want and can take care of it. Hall took care of that little worry by making it a stuffed dog. Smart!

There was a bit of a black moment--when the man apparently flees the store--but it happens in the middle of the story and not toward the end as you usually find in fiction.

For those of you who track this sort of thing, this is the second story set in a flower show or with a florist that I've seen in the past few months. So, don't worry if you write a story that's mildly similar to one that has just been published. Apparently it doesn't matter that much.

My Favorite Part: When the hero asks Gretchen out for dinner, Molly, the friend/employee answers for her! I liked Molly.

The Road to Love

by Vienna Mars from the June 21, 2010 issue

Tagline: When Shellie stepped into the sunshine, a world of romantic possibilities opened before her...

In A Nutshell: Tired of working out in a gym, Shellie decides to get a bike. Ben, the bike store owner, is reputed to be "impatient with newbies," but Shellie thinks he's nice and agrees to join him on the beginner's ride. Later she finds out this is a new program he just started, for the two of them.

Observations: Act one opens with action (Shellie working out) which is a good way to engage the reader right off the bat. We meet her at a time of crisis during which she decides to make a life change. Act two, she meets Ben and likes him. Then, in the middle of their conversation, we get the backstory. She came home to take care of her late mother. This is a common plot--a son or daughter returning to their home town. Often they end up together with someone they knew from their past. This time, Shellie meets someone new.

Third act, the climax of the story, is a near collision between Shellie and her friend, who acts as the device through which we find out that the Saturday beginner's ride is brand new. I liked this little surprise twist at the end. That rascal Ben...he's a crafty guy. I never saw this coming, but then again, the writer couldn't really foreshadow this.

Artwork is "Bicycle Shop" by Ginger Cook.

Something To Smile About

by Karen Nikula from the June 14, 2010 issue

Tagline: The day she decided to get on with her life turned out to be the day everything changes for Jamie.

In a Nutshell: Jamie is divorced and is coming to terms with eating alone at one of her old favorite restaurants. Her friend suggests, "You can always bring a book for company." Lo and behold, she spots a man alone, reading the same book. They strike up a conversation and find they have things in common. He asks her out. She accepts.

Observations: I was surprised to see that the woman was reading a mystery instead of a romance. A lot of Woman's World stories feature romance readers, but when I saw the man was reading the same book, I understood why it couldn't be a romance. :)

I had high hopes for this couple because Nikula showed them connecting on so many levels.

• They were reading the same book.
• He was about her age.
• They aren't too good at figuring out "who done it."
• They liked the same writers and had similar taste in movies and TV shows.
• They're both divorced.
• They garden.
• They like to talk about movies after seeing one.

I also liked the rosy ending:

He held open the Omelet House door and the two of them stepped into the sunshine.

The Gift

by Anna Jo Christopher from the May 24, 2010 issue

Tagline: After 20 years of marriage, Carol knew everything there was to know about Dean. Or did she?

In A Nutshell: Carol is about to celebrate her twentieth anniversary, but she's not as happy as she should have been because husband Dean has been AWOL lately, helping his brother with home improvement projects. Turns out he was really constructing a bookcase for her as an anniversary gift. Awww...

Observations: Perhaps the trouble with analyzing the WW stories week after week is that I have become very savvy about spotting "surprises," and I did see this one coming the minute I saw this:

Carol gazed at the pile of books stacked beside her bed. Dean often teased her good-naturedly about her addiction with romance novels.

But this is actually great writing. Christopher plants that knowledge in the readers' minds in the middle of the story as part of Carol's backstory. The paragraph is actually describing the couple's early history when she worked at a bookstore and meanders on to talk about her current stack of books.

Then, a little while later, when the writer (and Dean) unveil the surprise, the reader thinks, "Oh! That's right! She's an avid reader! What a perfect gift!"

So, if you're planning to surprise the reader, you have to be clever and non-obtrusive about laying the foundation for it. Do it early and don't belabor it otherwise, it will red-flag it too much.

SOLD!

I sold my eighth romance to WW! I just got the contract today and I'm thrilled! It's called "Old Dogs Can" and it will appear in the August 5th issue.

First Date

by Colette Shannon from the May 10, 2010 issue

Tagline: When work buddies Andy and Melissa got together outside the office, would friendship turn into something more romantic?

In a nutshell: Andy listens as Melissa bemoans the fact that her ex-boyfriend is now getting married. After work they walk in the park and then decide to go out for dinner together.

Observations: Melissa hasn't thought of Andy romantically, but there are a couple of subtle turning points which show her change of heart. Many aspects of fiction which are more pronounced in novels and novellas are understated in WW stories. The HEA is one of them. Obviously in romance novels, the Happily Ever After ending is tremendously emotionally fulfilling. At least, it's supposed to be. In a WW story, it is often much more mildly so, Like in this story, they end up just about to go on their first date.

But I've wandered away from those turning points... Here's the first one.

"Now I realize he just wasn't interested in marrying me."

"The guy must've been crazy," [Andy] said.

Andy's comment surprised me, and I blushed.

Here is the second:

Although we were sitting in the shade, I felt a warmth spreading through me.

Third:

I noticed for the first time how his eyes crinkled slightly at the corners when he smiled--and I suddenly couldn't remember ever feeling so at ease with a man.
Even with only 800 words to work with, Shannon showed Melissa falling for Andy, not in a huge way, but very subtly.

An Unexpected Gift

by Kathy Perrin from the May 3, 2010 issue

Tagline: He had welcomed his granddaughter to the world and met a lovely woman named Joy--all in one magical day...

In A Nutshell: A widower is shopping for earrings for his daughter to celebrate the birth of his first grandchild. He hits it off with the saleswoman.

Observations: Sometimes you can build a story around a life event. I did a story once about a woman whose daughter was getting married. This one revolves around the birth of a grandchild.

There is a very subtle black moment in the story, but oddly enough, it has nothing to do with the budding romance. The hero finds out that he can't get the diamond earrings he liked, but Joy has a fantastic solution for him--to get emerald earrings instead because they're the birthstone of his new granddaughter.

The story ended with a clever reference to the jewelry theme:

"...Would you be interested in getting a bite to eat?"

"I'd love to," Joy said, her eyes sparkling like diamonds.

Cute story.

Spam Alert

I sometimes find important email in my spam folder. Like today. Unfortunately, when I tried to transfer it into my inbox, it disappeared. I can't find it anywhere. So, if you emailed me and haven't heard back, that's what happened. Please resend your message!

The House Hunter

by Elaine Togneri from the April 26, 2010 issue

Tagline: Evelyn couldn't say what she loved more about the house--its vintage charm or the great neighbor...

In a Nutshell: Evelyn falls for her real estate agent.

Observations: I really enjoyed this story, but I really wish the tagline hadn't given away the ending. I think if it hadn't, I would have been guessing about how it was going to work out between Randy and Evelyn until the end.

Togneri does a great job of showing their attraction for each other.

--She'd rather have gazed at Randy's mahogany eyes...
--Randy says, "...you're wonderful." Then he goes pink and stammers something about her being a wonderful client. Right. We see through you, Randy, and so does Evelyn!
--Her heart beat faster even though she knew it was just business.
--Later, Evelyn was torn between wanting to finally find her dream home and spending her weekends with Randy.
--She felt Randy's eyes on her and turned away to hide her blush.

We were able to almost see the entire courtship, perhaps because they already had a relationship established. It felt like a longer story than it was. I mean that in a good way. :)

Love Works!

by Tracy Wilson-Burns from the April 19, 2010 issue

Tagline: Rowena didn't believe in office romances--even if she did believe that she was falling for her coworker...

In a nutshell: Rowena is attracted to the new guy at work. After two months, he finally asks her out, but she has an ironclad rule against not mixing business with pleasure, but he reveals that he's only a temp. Yay!

Observations: This story spans a longer period of time than normal--a couple of months. We see the attraction build and experience Rowena's frustration. We also see her bumbling because she's a little nervous around him. I honestly wondered how this romance was going to work out. I hoped she wasn't going to compromise her principles, and she didn't.

Wrong Date, Right Guy

by Elizabeth Palmer from the April 12, 2010 issue

Tagline: Merilee had to give Susan credit--her timing might have been off, but her matchmaking instincts were perfect!

In a nutshell: Meriliee arrives for dinner at her friend's house and meets another guest, Kyle, out front. He's the carpenter who redid the hostess' front porch. Turns out, the hostess wrote down the wrong day for her dinner party and is unprepared, so Kyle and Merilee go out for dinner instead.

My opinion: This was a very cute story, one I wish I'd thought of. What's nice about it, and so many other WW stories, is that it seems entirely possible. These could be real people. The characters in books are often larger than life and their circumstances are unusual, but not in WW stories. So, keep that in mind when you're writing them.

One trick I use is to think about what's going on in my life or in the lives of friends or family. Once, a friend of mine was stressed out because she'd committed to help frost a a hundred cupcakes for her niece's first birthday party. I plan to write a story around that event someday.

This was a solid cute first meet story.

The painting of the geraniums is by Rae Friedman.

A Beautiful Life

by Sheila Llanas from the April 5, 2010 issue

Tagline: When the handsome stranger appeared, Sarah wondered if her dream was about to come true...

In A Nutshell: Sarah owns a thrift shop. One of her best customers almost buys a snow globe that Sarah loves because it makes her imagine and hope that her life might end up as perfect as the snow globe scene. The customer's brother comes in. He's inspired by the globe to ask Sarah out on a "date."

Observations: You've heard of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl. In Woman's World it's often girl meets boy, girl assumes boy is taken, girl finds out she's wrong, girl dates guy. If you're looking for a formula to follow that WW seems to love, this might be the one.

In My Opinion: I liked the fresh idea of using a snow globe to spark romance, however, there were a few things that detracted from my enjoyment of the story.

There was tad too much description of Nell, the sister/customer, to suit me. Clearly the author wanted to set up a contrast between her and the traditional Sarah, however, this wasn't a story that dwelled on Sarah's character/emotional arc, so this entire paragraph seemed unnecessary.

What I would like to have seen more of was interaction with Sarah and Dan, the hero, and more of Dan, period. One of my goals with heroes is to create one that I'd like to fall in love with, and Dan fell short of that for me. He asks Sarah out, but to go for a walk. I'm like, "Dude. A walk? Seriously?" He doesn't even spring for the bread for the ducks. LOL

Something Magical

by Clare Mishica from the March 29, 2010 issue

Tagline: On a starry, moonlit night a beautiful raven-haired woman helped Zach's heart begin to heal...

In a Nutshell: Zach is a widower who reluctantly goes to his sister's place for the weekend and a party. When he finds his daughter, not in bed like she's supposed to be, downstairs with a female party guest, he finds himself as enchanted as his daughter. Turns out the woman is his nephews' teacher. They find they have a mutual dislike of party scenes and make a "date" to have coffee in the kitchen instead.

Observations: With "Something Magical," we get a very good feel for Zach and what a good father he is, how shy and sad he is. Readers seem to like seeing wounded characters--often widows/widowers--find love again. They enjoy seeing the sun come out on these characters' lives and helps us feel more optimistic about our own lives.

Notice the "lesson learned" ending. This type of ending typically shows the character reflecting on their own character arc. Sometimes it's even something a loved one or friend talked about at the beginning of the story and when the author ends the story with that same observation, it gives the story a feeling of having come full-circle.

For example, the ending for "Something Magical" is:

Zach climbed the steps two at a time, thinking how sometimes you don't realize that there's something missing in your life until, unexpectedly, you find it.

This would have been one of those full-circle stories if Mishica had had Zach wonder that something was missing in his life or have him feel like he needed to find something. But I can see why she didn't do the former. If you're a widower and single father, if you start thinking something's missing in your life, it would seem pretty obvious what it was. :)

Once Around the Park

by Diane Crawford from the March 22, 2010 issue

Tagline: Mix three dogs, two dog-walkers and a sunny spring morning--and you've got all the ingredients for a brand-new romance!

In a Nutshell: Shelly is dog-sitting for her aunt and uncle. At the park, a man's dog tangles his leash with Shelly's dogs' leashes. Shelly and Tim hit it off while walking. Later, after Shelly figures she'll never see the man again, he contacts her uncle asking for her phone number.

Observations: I found the humor in this first person story to be very appealing. For instance, Tim says, "Luke's starting his obedience classes this week--which, as you can see, he desperately needs."The pets' names, Lucy and Ethel and Starsky and Hutch, were also cute.

Again, we have the misunderstanding where one of the protagonists sees the other with someone and assumes they're married or taken. However in this story, Tim is alert and explains, "Someone I work with. We're brainstorming a new project this week." So, Shelly's mistaken assumption doesn't last long. Tim's hasty explanation is a subtle indication that he's interested. He wants Shelly to know he's unattached, obviously! Nice touch. That makes me like Tim.

I also liked that both the hero and heroine were proactive people. Shelly wasted no time in calling Tim once she had his phone number. Tim returned to the park several times, hoping to run into Shelly again. However, the ending didn't make sense to me. (See below.)

Favorite Part: Shelly wants to circle the part once more time and:

[she] could've sworn the little dogs rolled their eyes at the suggestion.

In My Humble Opinion: "I'm pretty sure the dogs will be tied up."

Maybe someone can explain this ending to me. The only thing I can think of is that this was a reference to the dogs tangling their leashes at the very beginning of the story. If that's it, it's not that amusing. Also, why would the heroine even suggest that Luke (the dog) accompany them to dinner? She doesn't even own her own dog...

A Man to Love

by Birdie Etchison from the March 15, 2010 issue

Tagline: Dave was always there--until one day he wasn't. That's when Carrie realized what she might be missing.

In A Nutshell: Carrie is a truck stop waitress. Dave is a regular customer who is sweet on her. She's afraid to say yes to his repeated attempts to take her out on a date. Just when she thinks she might have been making a mistake, she sees him with a young girl and she assumes he's married. This seems to be confirmed when he introduces the girl as his daughter. Turns out he's divorced and just got custody. Carrie and Dave start dating and end up getting married.

Observations:

1. This was a tightly written story with a casual voice that makes you feel as if the author was a girlfriend. One way Etchison does this are these little asides (in bold):

"I like waitressing. You meet nice people and--" I pause and smile. "I get good tips." Dave is my best tipper, and I think he knows it.

The next day, the door opens at 12--did I mention Dave always comes at noon?--and in comes Dave with Hannah.

Also, the last two paragraphs are in such a friend-to-friend tone. There's no flowery, over-reaching vocabulary or sentence structure.

As for me, I have a man who loves me, and who I'm happy to love right back. How neat is that?

Lastly, she uses first person, present tense, like she's really there with you talking face to face.

2. Once again, we have a misunderstanding where the protagonist thinks, "Oh, no, he's married!" But it's quickly resolved, of course. But this is a handy and common way to create a climactic high point. Strangely, in WW stories, this climax is often two thirds of the way through, a little earlier than in longer fiction. I haven't figured out why yet.

3. This is the second story in a row to feature an epilogue paragraph, a highly unusual occurence! Really! If you're a subscriber, you know I'm not just making this up.

This story could have ended here where Dave has just asked her to go with him and his daughter to the zoo:

I nod and Hannah smiles. "Sounds good to me."

But no, Etchison shows us how the story really ends, which I like. The author even brings back Carrie's friend, Molly, for a little cameo-type appearance.

Rose's Roses

by M.L. Hickerson from the March 8, 2010 issue.

In a Nutshell: Rose owns a flower shop. A handsome man comes to order a bouquet. Rose assumes it's for his girlfriend, but soon finds out it's for his sister. The next day he sends Rose some flowers along with an invitation to dinner.

Observations: It's not unusual for the plot of a Woman's World story to hinge on a misunderstanding such as the protagonist assuming the love interest is married or taken when he/she is really not. Rose's Roses follows that "formula." However, what sets this story apart is the epilogue paragraph in which the two get married. That occurs very rarely.

A Fortunate Encounter

by B.J. Heinlein from the March 1, 2010 issue

In A Nutshell: Jenny is at a charity bazaar and visits the fortuneteller. She is told that the man of her dreams will show up soon, wearing a blue tie with green stripes and that she will soon land a big marketing account. The next day, a man wearing just such a tie brings her a new marketing account, but only because his grandmother was the fortuneteller, filling in for the real one.

Observations: When I saw the story was about a fortuneteller, I wondered if the heroine was going to believe in them or not. She didn't, and it was easy to identify with her. She was smart about pinpointing clues that the fortuneteller's talent wasn't real, so when she leaves the tent, we're confident the lady was a fake. However, when the guy shows up wearing that (must have been ugly) tie, we're surprised and read on to find out was the fortuneteller for real?

The fortuneteller was equally smart, getting Jenny's business card so she knew where to send her grandson.

Cute story.

The Matchmaker

by Tamara Shaffer from the February 22, 2010 issue

Tagline: Aunt Grace knew that all Laura and Grady needed was a little nudge in the right direction...

In A Nutshell: Grace has always wanted her niece Laura to find someone after Laura's husband died. When Laura needs someone to paint the exterior of her house, Grace suggests Grady, a friend of her husband's. They hit it off.

Observations: The matchmaker plot is nothing new to Woman's World, however, this story felt fresh. Why? I think it's because it came from the point of view of the matchmaker herself. Usually matchmaker stories are told from the point of view of one of the matchees.

Another thing that made this story a little different is that it really focused a lot on Grace's character. Sure, the hero and heroine are moving forward in their romance, but it's Grace's personality that really comes through.

She is so unapologetic about her endeavor.

Even my loving but skeptical husband, Charlie, is impressed with how neatly I managed this one.

You see more of Grace's feistiness here:

"He's available," Charlie said, giving me one of his looks, "for painting. I hope you're not trying to play Cupid again."

I went right to Laura.

Lastly:

"Grady invited me to a movie," [Laura] said, with more enthusiasm than I'd heard from her in a long time. "I can't thank Uncle Charlie enough for referring him to me."

And I couldn't wait to tell Charlie.

I Know You By Heart

by Kate Karyus Quinn from the February 8, 2010 issue

Tagline: Amanda knew that David was happy being "just friends"--but that wasn't enough for Amanda anymore...

In A Nutshell: Amanda is having dinner with her best friend, David. David cuts the evening short and Amanda is worries it's because of an offhand comment about the two of them knowing each other by heart. The next day is her birthday and she doesn't hear from him until late. A text message directs her to go to a certain restaurant. When David shows up with an engagement ring, Amanda realizes he loves her.

Observations: This was an amazing story. I loved it for so many reasons.

1. The title is probably the best WW story title I've ever seen.

2. She hooks you right off the bat with this paragraph:

"Happy Birthday, Miss Amanda May." These were the words Amanda's best friend, David, had greeted her with each birthday for the last 10 years. She was pretty sure she wouldn't hear them this year. Not after she had ruined everything.

3. Her third and fourth paragraphs pack a double whammy. They forward the plot AND give you their history.

4. The story is firmly set in the present. Sometimes these sweet stories seem like they take place in yesteryear, but David texts Amanda--very modern.

5. There was a black moment, something I always like in a WW story:

This is the part where he lets me down gently, she thought.

6. Throughout this story you find out so much about the couple. It's peppered in very skillfully--so skillfully I didn't notice one of the instances until after several reads.

There, on the lifeline she had traced during her palm-reading stage, was a ring with a sparkling emerald at its center.

7. The use of the title phrase, "I know you by heart" came up twice in the story. First, it was the phrase Amanda blamed for ruining their friendship, and later, after he'd proposed, she realizes that David knew her by heart, too. This is tight writing, building in a nice sense of closure.

In My Humble Opinion: It's only after reading this several times that I notice the text is pretty wordy.


Meet me at the bistro across the street from the Mexican restaurant with the awesome salsa, and next door to the bad dry cleaners.

If it were a real text, he probably would have named the restaurant and been done with it. However, I forgive the author this. We needed to be let in on their inside "joke." :)

The Book of Love

by Elizabeth Palmer from the February 15, 2010 issue

Tagline: Holly had noticed the handsome grad student who spent so many hours in the library. Had he really noticed her?

Observations: First person present tense is not my preference, however, I think it worked for this story. It can keep the reader in the moment, making the action feel more immediate.

This story had your typical threesome: the hero and heroine, and a friend. The friend is handy character for getting backstory across.

Secrets in stories can go two ways. One, you keep the secret from everyone and reveal it as a plot twist. Or two, you reveal it to the reader, but not to the characters in the story. "The Book of Love" took the latter route. We know Byron likes the Sylvia. Sylvia's the only dunderhead who doesn't realize, but it can be fun for a reader to feel she's in on a secret. It's like being invited to a surprise party.

My Favorite Part: When Byron "peers up, as though the answer is on the ceiling." LOL

Like Clockwork

by Ann Poland from the January 25, 2010 issue

Tagline: Michelle had to know more: Who was the good-looking guy who walked by every day--and was he single?

In A Nutshell: Michelle is curious about the man who passes her hair salon every day at the same time. One day she follows him. She loses him. She follows him two more times and fails. Finally, on her fourth try, he smoothly ambushes her and smiling, tells her he knew she was following him. When she tells him why, he admits to being a detective! He's been visiting his grandfather at the residence hotel. They have coffee together, then many brunches.

Observations: I thought this story was cute. I liked the two plot twists. The first was when Michelle herself was surprised. The second was when we found out he was a detective.

I also noticed the backstory on this story is skillfully dribbled in, instead of presented at the beginning of the story, which is a nice change of pace.

As for the ending, it's one of those WW soft happily ever after endings, where they're not quite ready for a wedding, but they're in a relationship.

Old School Friends

by Ginny Swart from the February 1, 2010 issue.

Tagline: It took a ghost from her husband's past to remind Kelly just how happy she and Scott were in their marriage.

In A Nutshell: When Kelly's husband, Scott, finds old school chums on an online social network, she feels like she doesn't measure up to one of his old girlfriends. Kelly even sarcastically suggests he look her up while on his upcoming business trip. Luckily, Scott understands that Kelly is exhausted from tending their sick child. After confessing her woes to a friend, the friend sets her straight, so when Scott returns home from a business trip, she's her confident self again. They both realize how lucky they are when the old girlfriend proves to be completely undesirable when compared to Kelly.

Observations: I happen to know that this is Ginny Swart's first sale to WW. She did a fantastic job. I love this story. The "problem" of finding old flames on the internet is contemporary and is something the modern woman can relate to.

WW likes their stories to be positive, however that doesn't mean your characters have to be problem free. I loved how Swart showed the heroine's vulnerability and self-doubt without making her seem whiny. It was clear she was overtired from her duties as a stay-at-home mom.

Another thing I loved was seeing how supportive Scott was of her. Swart shows this in three places:

1. When he notices his wife isn't herself, he says, "I'll finish cleaning up. Go watch TV."

2. After doing the dishes, he goes to her and says, "What's up? You seem unhappy lately."

3. Kelly complains, "My guess is she'll (the old girlfriend) be driving a fancy car and have a beautiful apartment. And she'll look fabulous." To which Scott replies, "Like you do when our daughter isn't keeping you up. Beth's almost over the chicken pox. When she's better, you'll feel better, too. Being a mom is hard work."

4. Scott also gives a big speech at the end of the story in which he tells Kelly that seeing the old flame made him realize how wonderful their marriage is, something Kelly had already re-discovered while he was gone.

Swart really makes the reader want a man like Scott.

In My Humble Opinion:

This transition seemed abrupt, but perhaps was necessary considering the very tight word count.

Scott gave her a squeeze. "You're forgiven. And now that your patient is better, any chance of finding a babysitter so the two of us can have dinner out?"

They'd ordered dinner and were sipping their wine when Kelly asked lightly, "So did you see Charlene?"

See that? A zero word transition. One moment they're home and discussing a date and the next the date is ending and they're talking.

Also, while I really liked this story a lot, the ending didn't flood me with a super warm feeling like some WW stories do. It was a good solid ending, but not a superb one.

Hope and Happiness

by Nell Musoff from the January 18, 2010 issue

Tagline: Zach was focused only on the challenges that lay ahead--until Betsy changed his point of view...

In A Nutshell: Zach gets laid off. This means no new car, no vacation, no starting a family yet. He agonizes over telling his wife, but finds out she already knows. She has news of her own: she's pregnant. Zach realizes they'll make it through this fine because they love each other.

Observations: This story does not have three acts. It only has two. The first act, as is often the case with WW stories, establishes the situation. Once we know what Zach's situation is, we move on to the action--when he gets home and has to break the news to his wife that he got laid off.

There was a black moment, which I always like to see in these short stories. Did you see it? I'll mention it in the comments, in case you don't have a copy of the story in front of you.

The story also had a one sentence epilogue:

And so we did.

Awww. That referred to naming their baby Hope.

Nell Musolf surprised me two times in this story, another thing I adore. I really didn't expect the wife to already know he'd been laid off. And, believe it or not, I actually didn't anticipate her being pregnant either. LMAO. When I read that, I felt like a dummy, but I still was happy for the couple.

Driven by Love

by Christine Pedersen from the January 11, 2010 issue

Tagline: If Amy's car could talk, it would have quite a love story to tell!

In a Nutshell: A car notices its owner, Amy, is interested in a young man who works in the same building. When Amy is transfered to another building, the car refuses to start at an opportune moment. The man "comes to the rescue," and the rest is history.

Observations: This is the strangest story to come out of Woman's World in a very long time because it's written in the car's point of view. However, I thought it was fun. Take the first line, for instance:

Men love me.

Cute, huh!

Still, even though it's the car telling the story, the story has the classic three act structure, and even a very unusual "epilogue" paragraph.

1. Set-up or backstory: You find out about the relationship of the car and its owner, Amy. You also find out the car's goal: find Amy a man.

2. Introduce the hero, the attraction between them: Matt works in her building. They chat. Amy calls a friend to tell her about him. They lunch.

3. Introduce the conflict,: Amy gets transferred. Car refuses to start. Matt "fixes" the car. They go to dinner. They kiss.

4. HEA: Literally this time, they live happily ever after, because the car boasts about having to wear the "Just Married" sign.

My Favorite Part: One day, she pulled into a parking spot next to a nice sedan, sparkling clean and with properly inflated tires. LMAO My only complaint is that I would have made it read like this:

One day, she pulled into a parking spot next to a nice sedan, sparkling clean.

And with properly inflated tires.

That little pause, I think, makes it a teensy bit funnier. Otherwise, I really liked this story.

Julie's Knight

by Mary Ann Joyce from the January 4, 2010 issue

Tagline: When he appeared in her life, Julie realized she'd been waiting for someone like Sam

In a Nutshell: Julie owns a clothing shop and is putting the finishing touches on her display window. There's a contest in her small town. A man compliments her window. He owns a new store and invites her to come see his window. When she finally does, she sees a message there asking her out to dinner.

Observations: This is an average story. Nothing really stood out for me to mention, except the ending was very cute. I'd sure go out with Sam.

WW Standbys: First meet, Matchmaker (sister sent Sam over)

Peach-Flavored Kisses

by Jill Lynn Anderson from the December 28th issue

Tagline: Would Kay's husband be as happy as she was about the unexpected turn of events?

In a Nutshell: Kay is waiting for the results of her home pregnancy test. She and her husband have college-aged kids and she's worried about his reaction. Turns out, he already suspected and is "more than okay" with it.

Observations: This is a change of pace for WW in that it's about an already married couple. Also, it obviously acknowledges that sex happens! I found it to be a welcome change. Note the difference in story structure.

A good half of the story is spend in Kay's head as the reader gets the backstory that she and her husband Gabe have twin girls that they just sent to college and that they planned to retire in eight years. We also find out when the baby might have been conceived.

The second half of the story deals with Gabe's arrival home. There is a brief black moment when Gabe announces that he bought a sailboat and Kay assumes it's the full sized boat they planned to retire on, but it turns out it's a bath toy. The author then shows that Gabe is happy about the news and that the couple's future looks rosy.

As much as I enjoyed the freshness of plot that didn't hinge on two people meeting, this story didn't tug my heartstrings very much.

A Purrfect Christmas

by Lisa Weaver from the December 21, 2009 issue

Tagline: For Dan and his daughter, it looked as though this Christmas would indeed be wish-come-true time.

In a Nutshell: Dan, a widower, isn't having any luck finding a kitten for his daughter for Christmas. A co-worker helps him out by giving him the name of a friend who has kittens to give away. Turns out the friend is a woman Dan helped a few months ago. She'd been having trouble coaxing a hurt stray cat out from under a car. Of course, one of the kittens is thereby earmarked for Dan's daughter, and they make a date.

Observations: I was told once that you can get away with one big lie in a story, but after that you have to tell the truth, otherwise you risk losing your readers. Often in WW stories, the one big lie you have to swallow as a reader is a coincidence. In "A Purrfect Christmas" the coincidence is that when Dan meets the kitten purveyor, she just happens to be the woman he helped a few months ago.

Luckily, Weaver doesn't push the envelope like Hickerson did in "Fairy Tale Beginning."

Also, it's worth noting that the hero in this story is a Nice Guy. In romance novels, the aggressive, virile man dominates. Often he has a lot of emotional baggage. Here, in WW stories, not so much. Dan is a good example.

1. He's a widower, but isn't beating himself up over the loss of his wife.
2. He is a great father. You see it in the snippet of dialogue he has with his daughter and how he's bending over backward to find her a kitten.
3. He helps total strangers rescue injured stray cats.

What more proof do you need that he's relationship material for any woman found between the pages of the WW magazine??? :)

I didn't have a favorite part. This story was solid, but not particularly moving for me.

Question: What did you think of the character of Abby?

Home Again

by Andi Renskoff from the December 14, 2009 issue

Tagline: Matt was happy to be back home--and running into Dana made him happier still.

In a Nutshell: Matt has moved back to his home town to take care of his aging parents. He runs into Dana at a flea market. They used to go to the same high school. After renewing their acquaintance, he admits he was afraid to ask her out, way back when. She admits she wished he had.

Observation: Stories in which the hero and heroine share a past are common in Woman's World. It's a handy way to get your reader to connect with your characters because we all have someone in our pasts that we remember with wistful fondness.

In this story, Renskoff gives Matt a very brief memory of Dana painting a tree on the lawn of the high school. In the memory, they don't even really interact, but the author paints it with a sentimental brush when she explains how that memory had "resurfaced years ago in the trenches of combat training and again during a lonely breakfast in an airport restaurant." So even though their relationship was almost non-existent, we still understand Matt's feelings about her.

There is no rising action or climax in this story, which is also common. Wait a minute. I just reread the end and see that there's a moment when Dana is paying for the toy chest when you might think they're going to say goodbye, but any worry the reader might feel that they're never going to see each other again is slight and brief.

Note: The painting shown is "Storm in Home Park" by John Walsom

Dear Santa

by April Knight from the December 7, 2009 issue.

Tagline: Tory's letter to Santa helped her discover what love is really all about...

In a Nutshell: When Tory's co-worker at the Dollar Store suggests she ask Santa for a man for Christmas, Tory writes a letter requesting a gorgeous, fantasy man, but she immediately feels wistful because that type of man would probably never be interested in her.

Then, in walks an average guy who wants gifts for kids at the school where he used to work as a teacher, but because of layoffs, is now working as a custodian.

In the course of conversation, he remarks, "I keep hoping some nice lady will put me on her wish list, but I don't think anyone would be interested in an unemployed teacher." He invites them to a holiday program his school is putting on and leaves.

Tory realizes the custodial Santa is more in line with what she really wants for Christmas.

Observations: This story follows the classic three act structure. Act One: We start out with the convo between the friends, setting up the goal: Tory wants a man for Christmas. After she determines that she wants someone rich, handsome, and strong, we get the conflict: she's feels she's undesirable (short, 20 pounds overweight, has a sucky job.) And immediately, probably every woman who reads Woman's World identifies with her.

Act Two: The hero comes in. We find out he has sparkly brown eyes. He's not married, which is always a fact that you have to establish in these "first meet" stories. He's dedicated to his (ex-)job. Through some clever conversation, Knight gets him to confess he's wanting a lady for Christmas, just like Tory is. Lastly, he leaves the flyer for the program, which acts as the plot device so that Tory can contact him/see him again.

Act Three: Tory realizes how shallow and insincere she was when she jotted that letter to Santa, hence the character grows during the course of the story. Each of her worries about her own flaws, the hero has. She's short and so is he. She's overweight and he's losing his hair. She's insecure about her job, he's a custodian. There is no real climactic moment when we fear all is lost. We only get a little devil's advocate conversation with the co-worker, but the story still works.

My Favorite Part: Even though Tory is sad when she says this, I laughed: "I wonder if some man is writing a list of things he's looking for in a woman. Do you think he'd say he wanted a short, brown-haired woman who's twenty pounds overweight and who works in an 'everything's a dollar' store?"

My Nit-Picks: Political correctness often rubs me the wrong way, especially when it's contrived. For instance, in the first Twilight movie, Bella's circle of friends was so perfectly, and implausibly, racially balanced. I fully embrace multi-culturalism but don't think it's necessary to twist a story in order to appear all-inclusive.

In "Dear Santa," Knight (or the editor) chose to list three holidays:

"I made it a tradition to give each of my kindergartners a Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwaanza gift."

*sighs* Don't get me wrong. I respect everyone's choices as to religion and/or holiday. To each his own. But wouldn't it have just been easier to say, "a holiday gift?"

Also, the ending line is "I guess I do believe in Santa after all," and I think Knight missed an excellent opportunity to make the story come full circle if she'd had Rose say she didn't believe in Santa at the beginning of the story.

Subscriptus Interruptus

Well, it appears I've let my subscription lapse. LOL. You know how they start sending those "Your subscription is going to run out!" notices like six months before your subscription really runs out? Well, apparently I misjudged when I truly had to send in the moola.

Review/analyses will resume when my magazines start coming again.

Fairy-tale Beginning

by M.L. Hickerson from the October 26, 2009 issue.

Tagline: The last person Jim expected to meet in the park was a real-life Show White!

In a nutshell: Jim is dressed as a prince for the Halloween party in the children's ward at the hospital where he works as a doctor. His car breaks down near the hospital and he's forced to walk the rest of the way across the park. On the way, he surprises a woman dressed as Snow White. When she hits her head after falling, he convinces her to come to the hospital with him. Her daycare class (the seven dwarves) join the hospital party and Jim and "Snow" make a date to see each other again.

Observations: Making the Snow White story come to life is an adorable idea for a story, but challenging. Jim has to dress as a prince because there were no other costumes left. Check. I buy that. I can believe that he has to trek into the woods of the park to get to the hospital. I can even believe he happens upon Snow White in the park, with her dwarf-like charges. However, my imagination was stretched a tad too far when I saw her name was Miss White. I'll admit to rolling my eyes a little there. Otherwise, I thought this story was very cute.

Woman's World Stand-bys: Car trouble

My Favorite Part: I laughed when I read, "...so he locked his car and took off into the woods." Oh, brother, that cracked me up. It was that classic, "What NOW?" moment for poor dressed-in-a-puffy-shirt Jim.

A Cup of Joe

by Lori Hoffman, from the October 12, 2009 issue.

Tagline: A chance encounter in a coffee shop convinced Kat it was time to put the past behind her...

In a Nutshell: Kat is divorced. Her brother convinces her to go on a blind date at a coffee shop. She drops her cup, splashes coffee on her sweater, makes a mess, is embarrassed. A kind man comes to help her out. She assumes it's her date, but it's not. She gets a call from her brother saying the friend had to cancel and didn't have her cell number. It's okay with Kat because she's having a nice time with the mystery man, Joe.

Observations: Divorce is common in WW stories. It's a handy way to make a character older than twenty-something, and yet not seem like a "loser" for not having settled down yet. It also gives a character some backstory, making them a little more sympathetic to the reader. Kat is divorced and hesitant about entering the dating world again.

This story is interesting to me because it has two climactic moments. The first is when she drops the cup and breaks it. I know that doesn't sound like much of a "big black moment" but Kat sees that as a sign that she's not ready for dating yet. The reader fears she's going to spurn love before she even gives it a chance.

Then the hero arrives!

He demonstrates caring (helping her clean up), an interest (he's been watching her and even knows how she likes her coffee now), and attractive. He also turns out to be honest, even if he's a little late in showing it.

This is when the second black moment occurs. She finds out this guy isn't Ben, her blind date. He had dodged her first attempt to identify him as her blind date deftly, but comes clean when she asks the second time, as a true hero should.

The story ends with the two of them enjoying coffee together, so it's your typical HEA, WW style, which is HOPEFULLY Ever After, not HAPPILY.

Favorite part: Hoffman made me laugh with this line: "...and I'll try to keep my coffee in my cup while I listen."

Plan for 2010!

I'm proud to announce that I'll be presenting my workshop, "The Secrets of Selling to Woman's World Magazine," via the Colorado Romance Writers in February, 2010. More details to come!

Save the Date

by Gina Vasquez from the June 15, 2009 issue

Tagline: Krissy couldn't care less about her ex-husband's upcoming wedding. In fact, she was looking forward to the day...now.

Stream of Consciousness Analysis:

As you can tell by the tagline, the ex-husband invites her to his wedding--his and Krissy's former best friend's! Wow. The gall of some people!

Krissy's sister phones to commiserate about the invitation and the tacky fridge magnet that was enclosed. Krissy, admirably, chastises her sister when she tries to bad-mouth the ex-and-soon-to-be-again hubby.

After hanging up, Krissy goes to the hardware store to look for a solution to her dilapidated fence. The author manages to get a physical description in there for Krissy.

It was cute how the boys "literally bounced off a tall man coming out of a side aisle and landed on their bottoms."

Wow! was Krissy's first thought. I wonder if he's single? This establishes the heroine's interest.

Oh, we find out the guy's a fire fighter because her sons boldly ask. YUM. Why can't my sons find me a hunky fire fighter? Maybe because I'm married. LOL

Of course the man is divorced. He invites her to attend the Firefighters Chili Cook-off, which happens to be on the day of the wedding, and smart girl that she is, Krissy opts to taste chili with the hunk rather than suffer at the wedding.

This was a well-written story. Tight, real, sweet. It follows a basic formula: set up the backstory, move into the humorous meeting, establish the fact that he's single, set up a future date.

A Kiss for Juliet

by Lauren Andreano from the June 1 issue.

Tagline: Allie had always known who the real Romeo was...

I'm liking the Stream of Consciousness method of analysis. So here we go again.

It's funny because my son was recently in a school play, but it was nothing as high-falootin' as Romeo and Juliet. It was called "Who Killed Elvis?" and was a comedy.

Two parents are dropping their daughter and the daughter's friend off at the high school. They're performing in Romeo and Juliet. The dad, Gary, launches into a oft told story of how the mom also played Juliet and how he fell in love with her back in the day. I laughed when the girls started quoting his story verbatim.

It's clever how Andreano tells the romance story through the girls retelling. I laughed when they referred to Gary as Montague #5.

The girls leave the car and Andreano lays a surprise on me that I didn't see coming. Gary whips out a present, a gold rose pin, as a token of his love.

I only have one question. Where can I get a man like that??? LOL

This was an excellent example of a story showing an already established couple rather than a first meet.

The Setup

by Anna Jo Christopher from the June 8, 2009 issue.

Tagline: Sara realized that her big brother had an ulterior motive for the dinner invitation...but she didn't mind.

This week I'm going to do that stream of consciousness analysis. I'm pressed for time these days and it's faster. :) Hopefully, it's as valuable.

It's a first person, present tense. That immediately invites your reader to be your friend. The tone is intimate, chummy.

Sara tells you a little anecdote about big brother Mark coming to her rescue when a schoolmate, Gary, scared her with a spider. Hmm. I'm immediately wondering if Gary ends up to be the love interest.

She tells about how he gave her dates the third degree. I read this with wistfulness, wishing I had had a big brother, or even a dad, who did that for me.

We move to act two of the story. Mark and his wife have invited Sara to dinner. Christopher makes me laugh when she give Sara the excuse of needing to organize her closet. It's cute when Mark gives her a guilt trip by saying her niece will be disappointed.

Sara arrives at dinner and Mark springs a surprise male guest on her. I didn't like how he put her on the spot saying, "I'm sure you remember this guy." Way to make her feel awkward if she doesn't remember!

Oh, of course, it's Gary the spider boy. Point for Kate.

Christopher has done such a good job, that in the third act when Gary walks Sara to her car, I feel like I'm intruding. LOL

Okay, the story does not end with them making a date, which is surprising. We actually go into what amounts to an epilogue in which we see they're still dating seriously after six months. Christopher brings the story full circle by ending it with Sara thinking about how lucky she is to have such a great big brother.

This is the first story in a couple of months that I really liked. I think I just have a soft spot for protective males. What did you think?

Some Enchanted Afternoon

by Joyce Soule from the May 25, 2009 issue.

Tagline: Alayne realized that magic was everywhere. She just had to let it into her life again.

In a Nutshell: Alayne is a widow trying to get her life back on track. She visits a bookstore looking for information on France, a place she'd always wanted to visit. There she meets a French widower on vacation himself. They strike up a friendship.

Observations: Usually, I read and analyze the story, then write my observations. This week, I'm going to try something new and do a sort of running commentary on the story as I read. Here we go:

Oh, the story is set at a bookstore. Bookstores are one of my favorite places. And she's doing that park far away from your destination thing so you get more exercise. I've done that. This helps me connect with the character.

In the bookstore, she went to the travel section to look for guides to France, then grabbed a copy of Paris Match magazine and walked back to the cafe section of the store where the comfy chairs beckoned.

Hmm. It kind of bothers me that she apparently intends to just read the books and magazine without paying for them. At least she buys a drink.

Soule does a good job of making the man sound foreign.

At one point, Alayne flounders a little in trying to think of what to say next, and I feel for her. Haven't we all struggled through an awkward pause at least once in our lives?

The last line in the story is,"My name is Alayne. Now how do you say that in French?"

Alayne took French in college, but she doesn't remember how to say, "My name is Alayne?" Sheesh. Here at the end she appears (to me) to be either not so smart, or connivingly coy.

So, even though Alayne grows as a character, taking the first steps in leaving mourning behind, I personally found her somewhat unlikeable. I think Denis, the love interest, could do better.

Woman's World Standbys: A widow and widower, moving on

As Sweet as Chocolate

by Kate Karyus Quinn

Tagline: Molly's mom was right: Sometimes you can't get too much of a good thing...

In A Nutshell: Molly figures if she eats chocolate 24/7, it will cure her of her cravings. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. When her mom comes to visit, she confesses both her diet failure and her crush on the neighbor across the hall. Mom convinces her to share her final chocolate treat--a cake--with him, with excellent results.

Observations: Roberto is a pretty ethnic name for Woman's World. I wonder if we'll be seeing more of those.

Molly grows as a character when she conquers her fear about knocking on Roberto's door. That's always a nice element in a Woman's World story. It helps the reader identify with the character because we've all felt that uncertainty regarding the opposite sex.

Woman's World Standbys: A matchmaking mom

In My Humble Opinion: This story didn't quite work for me on several levels. The eat-chocolate-'till-you're-sick diet was a cute idea for a story, however, I doubt that anyone could eat only chocolate for five entire days and not become disgusted. I don't think they'd even last two days.

I also found it a little contrived that Roberto just happens to mention that he loves to tango, after Molly just said to her mother, "Go over there and say what? 'Hey here's some cake, and do you know how to tango?'"

Collision Course

by Ruby Perry from the May 11, 2009 issue

Tagline: Brad spotted the pretty woman walking down the sidewalk--and just couldn't keep his eyes on the road...

In A Nutshell: Everytime Brad sees this brightly dressed woman, he becomes distracted and has a fender bender. The insurance company wants to cancel his policy. When he meets the claims adjustor, it's that self-same woman! He asks her to dinner.

Observations: This story was heavy on backstory. Almost the entire story was set-up. By the time I got to the insurance office, I could see what was coming, but I liked it anyway.

When you're writing a "first meet" story, there are a few things you usually have to cover, and one of them is to establish that both the hero and heroine are single. Here, Perry does this with this passage:

He noticed there was no ring on her finger, and all the photographs around the room were of smiling old people and children.

Also, Brad had a small character arc. In that backstory, Perry established his careful approach to life:

Brad had also been careful in love, so careful he had rarely worked up the nerve to ask a woman out--which was why he was single in his mid-30s.

Later...

"I wonder," he said as decades of careful, cautious living slipped away from him, "I wonder if you would allow me to tell you the story over dinner?"

A New Tradition

by Connie Cox from the April 27, 2009 issue.

Tagline: Jenna was happy she had decided not to eat dinner at home--and so was Patrick...

In a Nutshell: Jenna teaches at a preschool. Not particularly enthused about eating alone in her quiet apartment, she opts to stop by Pizza Town. In the parking lot she sees a car with a flat, a man in a sling, and one of her students, Dylan. She deducts from what Dylan has told her in school, that this must be Uncle Patrick. She offers to change Patrick's tire, since his arm is broken and the garage isn't answering their phone. After she plays mechanic, Patrick invites her to pizza. She, of course, accepts!

Observations: When you're writing a "first meet" WW story, it's sometimes a challenge to introduce the characters to each other without eating up too much of your word count. You don't want to waste space with names, handshakes, etc. if you don't have to. Cox worked it out so that, even though she'd never met him, Jenna already knew who this guy was from info her student had shared.

Woman's World prefers beta heroes, those proverbial nice guys, and Patrick is a good example. First, because of his broken arm, the man can't even fix his own flat! No opportunity there for him to show his manliness, poor thing. Second, he looks sheepish when he accepts Jenna's offer to change the tire. (An alpha would have scowled or growled or grunted.) Third, he channels a little alpha when he asks her to join them for pizza, but readily accepts it when she seems to reject him. Fourth, and perhaps the most telling evidence that he's not an alpha male, Patrick broke his arm at an ice skating party! Watch out Brian Boitano.

Question: "Well, thanks, then," Patrick said, looking a bit sheepish as he accepted her offer.

Jenna put the jack together. She was impressed that Patrick accepted her help and also liked that he didn't try to supervise the repair.

Test your editing skills. How could you tighten that passage?

Believing in Magic

by Nell Musolf from the May 4, 2009 issue

Tagline: Since her divorce, there'd been no room for magic in Lucy's life. Maybe that was about to change...

In a Nutshell: Recently divorced Lucy is at her niece's birthday party, at which a magician is putting on a show. Her sister informs her that the man performing is Matt, whom they knew in high school. Sister also made sure Matt is single and knows that Lucy is, too. After the show, Lucy almost works up the courage to ask Matt to coffee, but can't do it. A random playing card on the floor, the queen of hearts, and Matt's sincerity convinces her to accept when Matt himself asks her out.

Woman's World Standbys: a matchmaking relative, a heroine that needs to move on with her life, and a shared past.

Observations: This story showed a heroine with a character arc, which only makes sense considering it's about her getting on with her life after divorce. However, Lucy is a little reluctant still. Her reason for not asking Matt out? She had stopped believing in magic. If this were a longer, more complex story I would have wanted to slap Lucy upside the head and said, get over it! But, we only have 800 words to get this story wrapped up, and I thought that tying in the magic show and her not believing in the magic of love and fearing re-entering the dating arena was a nice idea.

There is a nice black moment when she almost turns him down, but of course, she accepts, showing her growing as a character.

In My Humble Opinion: It bordered on cheesy for me when Matt said, "You said you don't believe in magic. Maybe you'd give me the chance to help you believe again?"

Favorite Part: Matt says, "...In real life I'm a high school math teacher." Lucy replies, "Which explains why you got an A in geometry and I got a C."

Love Is in the Air

by Krista Weidner from the April 20, 2009 issue

Tagline: The world looked beautiful to Daphne and Rick as they floated over it in the hot air balloon...

In A Nutshell: Daphne's best friend, Kate, gives her a hot air balloon ride for her birthday. Kate is afraid of heights, but figures she'll be able to conquer her fear in order to share this special gift with her friend. However, when faced with getting into the balloon, Kate chickens out. Daphne goes up in the air anyway with Rick, the balloon operator. Turns out, Kate "strongly expected she wouldn't make it," and arranged the whole thing as a quasi-gift/fix-up.

Woman's World Standby: Yes, yet another matchmaker story.

Question: We readers want to believe that they will live happily ever after, so what signs does the author give you that Daphne is attracted to Rick? (You'll have to have a copy of the actual story to answer this question.)

The Little Chocolate Cake

by D.M. Dickey from the April 13, 2009 issue

Tagline: The bride had no doubt her big sister, Jennifer, would make the right choice...

In a Nutshell: Beth is getting married and is so busy that she asks her sister Jennifer to choose her wedding cake for her. At the bakery, Jennifer realizes she knows the baker, Mike, from high school. They'd had home ec together. On the day of the wedding, Beth reveals that she planned for Jennifer to "re-meet" Mike, thinking they'd hit it off. She was right.

Observations: While Woman's World is a somewhat traditional publication, it was interesting to see this story go against tradition in a couple of ways. First, the heroine was older than the hero by a couple of years. Also, the hero was the baker and she was the semi-professional.

There was one part I thought was strange:

Mike arrived early at the reception hall. Jennifer greeted him, then went to help her sister.

"Beth," Jennifer said, as she buttoned up the wedding dress. "It's about the cake."

Beth turned. "No, Jennifer, it was never about the cake." She smiled into her sister's eyes. "It was about the baker."

When Jennifer brings up the cake as a topic, it seems odd, like something was edited out. Other than that, I thought the story was cute.

Woman's World Standbys: Matchmaker Relative, Shared History/Old Flame

Question: Notice anything interesting about how the author handled point of view in this story?

A Face in the Crowd

by Terry Van Meter from the April 6, 2009 issue

Tagline: Anna was drawn to Eli--even before they spoke a word.

In a Nutshell: Anna is a portrait artist working the local art fair. To attract customers, she usually chooses a face in the crowd, snaps a picture, then draws that portrait during the fair. Today she chooses a handsome man and later, after conversing with someone standing behind her, observing, she discovers it's that handsome man she is drawing. He offers dinner in exchange for the portrait, and she accepts.

Observations: This story had a leisurely pace. Despite only being around 800 words, we get time to know Anna and see why she's attracted to this stranger. They even have a fairly long conversation, during which you can see the relationship start to develop.

This story also had a secret, but it was only a secret kept from Anna. Of course, the reader knows immediately that the man she's talking to is the man she's drawing, so that makes the story all the more fun to read. Readers LOVE being let in on secrets before the characters in the story. And isn't that true in real life? Isn't it fun to know in advance that Greg's going to propose to Lisa?

Finally, I thought I'd point out that this story is written in first person. The advantage to first person with these short stories is that it makes the reader feel as if the heroine is a friend, telling her story over coffee, perhaps. It's subtle, but it's there.