Hearts for Sale

by Shannon Fay from the June 3, 2013 issue

Tagline: Holly and Neil had been neighbors for years, but one sunny Saturday, they finally got to know each other...

In a Nutshell: Holly is participating in the community yard sale in an effort to get rid of her ex-husband's stuff. Her friend, widower Neil, is selling his daughter's stuff at her behest. She's going away to college and doesn't want to leave her clutter behind for her dad to deal with. Holly and Neil get to know each other better between sales.

Observations: I really liked the pace of this story. Sometimes a Woman's World story can feel choppy because the short word count forces us to cram a lot of stuff into a small space. But this story felt leisurely, which was nice, considering the characters themselves were enjoying a leisurely Saturday.

Much of this story occurred in Holly's head as she recalled the info we readers needed to know about their history. There were only four snatches of conversation. The rest was introspection and narrative.

What I really liked was how it all built up to the black moment at the very very end. Usually the black moment occurs in the last third, followed by a short denouement. I really felt Holly's anxiety that he'd say no and it was a nice relief when he didn't.

New in Town

by Jenn Walker from the May 27, 2013 issue

Tagline: Thunder, lightning, that strange dog on her front lawn...Shelley knew it was going to be a bad night. She couldn't have been more wrong..

In a Nutshell: Shelley is unloading groceries during a storm. A strange and scary looking dog darts into her house when she isn't watching. Jacob, the man who owns her, appears on the scene and apologizes, explaining that his dog is afraid of thunderstorms and hides under his bed. Sure enough, the dog is under Shelley's bed. Shelley and Jacob get acquainted while the storm passes through.

Observations: Well, darn. I was struck again by Woman's World story blindness. MY dog hides under the bed on windy days. Why didn't I think about writing a story about that? I know Woman's World likes pet stories. LOL  Oh well. The early bird catches the worm.

I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness analysis this week. This is where I jot down my thoughts as I read the story.

Oh, the dog on the lawn reminds me of the movie Cujo even though I've never watched it. Scary!

She walks past the dog trying to appear confident. Smart girl. Dogs read your emotions. I learned that from the Dog Whisperer.

I notice some somewhat complicated set-up going on...the dog edging closer, her leaving the door open, the truck pulling up, her not asking for help... I buy that this could have happened, so it doesn't feel contrived in that "give me a break" way, but it all feels a little clunky.

When the dog darts into her house, LOL! "Oh, you're kidding me." Funny.

Ooh. Very sexy. A man came around the truck, a rain-drenched tee-shirt plastered to his muscular chest.

Rottweiler? Those are big dogs. I wondered just how high those beds were. Then again, maybe that's why it was impossible to get the dog out from under.

Aww. Cute awkward moment.
     "Thanks, Shelley. I couldn't have asked for a nicer welcoming committee."
     "And I couldn't have asked for a nicer man." Shelley's eyes widened in embarrassment. "I mean, a nicer man with a dog who--" her voice trailed off and she raised her hands in a helpless gesture.

The last few paragraphs are a run-of-the-mill ending. Nothing that made me sigh in happiness.

Photo by Brilhasti1 (cc)

Emma's Choice

by Susan C. Hall from the May 20, 2013 issue

Tagline: When Matt, with his friendly grin and smiling eyes, appeared in her life, Emma realized what she'd been missing...

In A Nutshell: Emma's friend points out that Emma's current relationship is one-sided. The boyfriend always gets his way. When she meets a man who seems more than willing to let her choose something, like the restaurant on their dinner date, Emma realizes what a fool she's been.

Observations: At first, I thought this was not the type of story that I would have expected Woman's World to choose because we have to focus on what is wrong in Emma's relationship. Then I realized that actually, it's a perfect story for a woman's magazine because the "moral" is, if taken to the extreme, being a people pleaser can be bad.

Also, after reading this story, I was confident this couple had a great chance of living happily ever after because the author showed so many connections between them.

1. They work in the same industry--helping homeowners. She sells homeowner's insurance and he works at a title company.)

2. They both like dogs, even if he owns a cat.

3. He is focused on pleasing her by allowing her to choose the restaurant, rather than the other way around.

Finally, I haven't talked about character arcs in a while, but you can clearly see Emma's eyes opening with regard to her selfish, soon-to-be-ex, boyfriend.  She begins the story defending her boyfriend's selfish ways, saying he has preferences not rules, but by the end of the story, she realizes that things aren't in balance. Character growth is one of those things that isn't mandatory in these romance stories, but it never hurts.

Photo by grendelkahn (cc)

Number Eleven!

Score! Just when I thought my weekend couldn't get any better...

"My" team, the Los Angeles Kings, advanced to the next level of the Stanley Cup Playoffs last night, finally beating the St. Louis Blues. Color me really happy. The Kings are the defending champs and no one has won the Stanley Cup twice in a row since 1997.

Then, today I got a contract in the mail for the story I submitted in February! Yeah! Go me!

This story was a perfect storm. I got the idea in the car on the way to work--the whole plot, practically. I got to work and jotted it down on a scrap of paper. I went home and wrote it, and it came amazingly easy, even the ending, which I always have trouble with. My critique partner gave it the once over, and I sent it. I had a really good feeling about it, and for good reason, it turns out.

Doing the happy dance. Will be going out for a celebratory dinner tomorrow night.

One Perfect Rose

by Mary Haupt from the May 13, 2013 issue

Tagline: Angie's life would have turned out very differently if she hadn't stopped that day to smell the rose...

In a Nutshell: Angie stops to smell a rose displayed in the window of a florist's shop. The owner shares the story of how his grandfather used to own a florist's shop and met his wife when she stopped to smell a rose displayed in his window. What a coincidence!

Observations: Well, let me tell you it's been a long time since a Woman's World story made me tear up, but this one did.

I liked the hook at the beginning.

Sometimes, late at night, just before I fall asleep, I try to imagine what my life would be like if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Makes you curious.

When I got to the middle of the story where Nick is telling the story of how his grandfather met his grandmother, I sighed. How sweetly sentimental and so very Woman's World. I could picture Johnene reading that same part in the story and saying to herself, "Yep. This one's a keeper."

But that was only the preamble to the really sweetly sentimental part:

That's why, sometimes, late at night, I think of how my life would be different if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago. I know I wouldn't be hearing the soft breathing of my husband, Nick, asleep beside me. Or the soft cooing of our baby in her crib nearby.

And I know there wouldn't be a freshly cut rose in a slender silver vase on the kitchen table each night when I get home from work. 

But there is.

Wow. Tears. (Even though I think to myself, he doesn't snore??? LOL)

Photo by lmainjohnson7 (cc)

How Did You Meet?

by Mary Ann Joyce and Rakel Joyce from the May 6, 2013 issue

Tagline: Jenny dreamed of meeting her soul mate one day...but she doubted an online dating site would help her find him...

In a Nutshell: Jenny's friend convinces her to try an online dating site. As she's filling out her profile, her computer crashes. The tech guy comes and as her computer comes back to life, he sees the profile, in progress. After joking around a little, he asks her to dinner.

Observations: If you haven't ever checked out The Writer's Journey by Christopher Vogler, it's worth a look. In it, he outlines a plot structure that's as old as the Greeks and very successful. I don't think I've ever tried to apply it to a super short Woman's World story, but it (almost) worked.

1. Heroes are introduced in the ORDINARY WORLD: Jenny is talking
with her friend, Erin, about her love life.

2. They receive the CALL TO ADVENTURE: Erin urges her to join an online dating site.

3. They are RELUCTANT at first or REFUSE THE CALL: Jenny resists.

4. They are encouraged by a MENTOR: Erin bribes her with enchiladas.

5. They CROSS THE THRESHOLD and enter the special world: Jenny begins making an online profile.

6. They encounter TESTS, ALLIES, AND ENEMIES: The computer crashes. Jenny calls a tech guy.

7. They APPROACH THE INMOST CAVE and cross a second threshold: She invites the tech guy in, lingering as their hands are clasped from shaking hands.

8. They endure the ORDEAL: The computer has a virus.

9. They take possession of their REWARD: They connect over the fact that they are dog lovers.

10: They are pursued on THE ROAD BACK to the Ordinary World: There is no real pursuit in this story, but they return to the Ordinary World, but off stage, where they go out to dinner.

Here our story veers from the Writer's Journey structure. The Joyces skip step 11.

11. They cross the third threshold, experience a RESURRECTION and are transformed by the experience.

12. They RETURN WITH THE ELIXIR, a boon or treasure to benefit the ORDINARY WORLD: Jenny and Ryan, the tech guy, become a couple.

Photo by Nist6ss (cc)

Time For Love

by Kay Layton Sisk from the April 22, 2013 issue

Tagline: Ella and Geordie were too young when they fell in love the first time. Now, the time seemed just about perfect.

In a Nutshell: Ella enters her cinnamon rolls in the Fair baking contest. The judge is her ex-husband from many years ago. They'd married too young and divorced two years later. Now, after they both achieved their professional goals, it seems as if the spark is still there.

Observations: Here we see Americana striking again in the form of the county fair. The fair as a setting for Woman's World stories is becoming as common as the animal shelter or flower shops. It provides that comforting, traditional ambience that Woman's World likes.

What I liked about this story was that I could totally believe that Ella and Geordie still had feelings for each other and that the only reason their marriage had failed was that they'd been too young to deal with it.

I was surprised that they let the thing about him using the family recipe go. But I was glad to see she wasn't falsely cross about it.

I loved how they talked about the missing secret ingredient, which we readers knew immediately was love. It was such a brilliant way to have them talk about their love lives, but in a secret way known only to them. Using that intimate knowledge from their past only helped push them a little closer to reconciliation and it was so sweet how he opened that door for them by exposing himself before she did.

Photo by stephan.maloman (cc)

Annabelle Knows Best

by Rochelle Banks from the April 22, 2013 issue

Tagline: Rob's aunt told him about her neighbor Molly. Molly's neighbor told her about her nephew Rob. And that was that...

In a Nutshell: Molly's driveway is blocked by a tree that fell due to a storm. Annabelle's nephew has been helping Annabelle with clean up and comes over to offer his help to Molly as well. They hit it off, and guess what! Annabelle has been trying to introduce them to each other for a long time.

Observations: This is one of those stories that might have evolved from a real life experience. Sometimes when I need inspiration for a WW story, I just think about what's going on in my life at the moment. Basing your stories in real life can establish a commonality between you/the characters and the readers. They might say to themselves, "Oh, we have storms like that around here."

Something I noticed in this story that I don't often see is the hero being--well, to me--sexy. The guy is all sweaty in her front yard with a power tool! And yet, he still has that aw, shucks boy-next-door quality to him.

This matchmaker story was solid.

Photo by nikoretro (cc)

Brighter Days Ahead

by Wendy Hobday Haugh from the April 15, 2013 issue

Tagline: After meeting Carrie Hanson, Joe was ready to take a new chance on love...

In a Nutshell: Joe takes his daughter and her best friend to the town carnival. He's intrigued by the pretty woman painting faces. When the girls insist he get his face painted too, he works up the courage to ask her out.

Observations: Here is Americana in the form of a carnival or fair. I think I've said before that reading a Woman's World romance is sort of like stepping into a Norman Rockwell painting, but with modern touches. For instance, I don't think they painted kid's faces in Rockwell's day.

Anyway, I think this story worked because we get so close to Joe, the hero. We get to see him having a great time and being a fantastic father, but we also see his vulnerability, which is irresistible to me. When a guy lets his guard down, I go all weak-kneed. And then he puts himself on the line and asks her out. You can't help but find yourself rooting for him.

I thought the last line, referring back to a line the love interest says earlier in the story was wonderful.

She says:

"There were too many kids waiting for me to bring out the lion, tiger and fairy princess in them."

At the end of the story after she's accepted his invitation to dinner, we read:

Smiling, he drew a deep breath, leaned back and let his inner lion roar.

So cute!!!

Photo by slightly everything (cc)

Remember?

by Anna Jo Christopher from the April 8, 2013 issue

Tagline: Keith moved back to Pine Valley for a fresh start--and gave his old romance with Allison a fresh start too...

In a Nutshell: Widower Keith has moved back to his hometown with his young daughter. Allison's daughter is the same age and they are getting along famously. Allison hasn't dated much since her divorce two years ago, but she remembers Keith from when they were kids and likes him. When she overhears the two girls talking about Keith and a "Miss Reed," Allison fears he's interested in someone else, but Miss Reed is a spinster neighbor. Keith asks Allison out.

Observations: In my opinion, the story from last week had too many characters and I thought the story would have been easier to follow if it had only been one friend, not three. This week, the story has a lot of characters, too, but they all play an integral part. The two daughters have to be in the story because they present the reason why Keith and Allison are spending time together. Allison's mom is there to provide some backstory on Allison and to nudge her along her character arc. So, when writing a story with a largish cast, make sure the characters are necessary.

I experienced a little bump where a better transition was needed here:

     Keith was such a great father, [sic] and a really good guy. "That sounds like fun," she said. "Mandy and I will bring dessert."
     "Of course I remember Keith," Allison's mother said on the phone. "Didn't his family move away when you were in high school?

There is a scene change here, but because Woman's World doesn't do line breaks, it's not immediately apparent. Keep this in mind, also. Here's what might have been an easy fix:


  Keith was such a great father, [sic] and a really good guy. "That sounds like fun," she said. "Mandy and I will bring dessert."
     The next day, Allison told her mother Keith was back in town.
     "Of course I remember Keith," Allison's mother said on the phone. "Didn't his family move away when you were in high school?

Despite that, I thought the story was darling.

Photo: Denise Mayumi (cc)

Posting is Postponed

Sorry, everyone. Yesterday I Twitter-pitched my hockey romance to Carina Press and three editors responded and asked to see the full manuscript and a synopsis.

Since I only finished the first draft a week or so ago, there is A LOT of work on it to be done, and I haven't even started the synopsis.

So, I'm sorry to have to tell you that I won't be posting here until Monday at the earliest. Hold tight. I will come back as soon as I can. I just didn't want you to wonder where I'd gone.

Thanks for your patience.

My Three Best Friends

by Colette Shannon from the April 1, 2013 issue

Tagline: When Carey wouldn't take the first step on the path to love, her best friends took it for her!

In a Nutshell: Carey finds a bouquet of roses on her desk at work, but no card. Her three friends think it might be Freddie or Ted. When Freddie makes it clear he didn't leave the roses, Carey figures it must be Ted, so she waits for him in the parking lot at quitting time. He tells her he witnessed her friends leaving the roses. When he confesses he wished he had left them, Carey invites him to her birthday party that night.

Observations: This was almost a mini-mystery. We were all trying to figure out who left the roses.

I liked Carey's development as a character. She states that she's not looking for a boyfriend, having suffered from a bad break-up only a year ago, but by the end of the story, there's a moment where she makes the conscious decision to put herself out there. She is ready to enter the dating world again. That's showing, not telling, nicely done.

I wasn't crazy about how many names and characters swirled around. Mandy, Carey, Sheila, Stacy, Freddie, Ted. That's a lot of people for 800 words. I think the story could easily have worked with only one friend. But then again, the fact that there were three matchmakers made it a teensy bit different from all the other matchmaker stories.

I don't often see subterfuge in Woman's World stories (the friends leave the flowers and pretend not to know who them came from.) So this is different, too.

I also like my beta heroes just a tad more assertive than shy, sweet, blush-prone Ted. If I had been Carey, I might have gone for Freddie instead. At least he asked her out. Just my humble opinion.

The Spring Sale

by Susan Province from the March 25, 2013 issue

Tagline: As she browsed the tables set up in the town square, Holly found some things and someone she really liked...

In a Nutshell: New in town, Holly is on her lunch break when she's surprised by the annual spring sidewalk sale. She finds some books that bring her right back to childhood and buys them from the man who owns the local bookshop. He invites her to come back after work and see if there is anything else she'd like. She returns and he gives her a book he thought she'd like and asks her out.

Observations: This is a story that is right out of the Woman's World romance playbook. It is set at a tag sale, a popular place for WW women to find love.

Real world: the Internet and bars.

WW: tag sale, animal shelter, vet office, florist, grocery store.

In this story, it's a tag sale for the entire small town, an annual event. That is the (very slight) twist to the cliche setting. The rest of the plot pretty much follows, according to the norm. Boy/girl finds item with sentimental value. Boy/girl doesn't obtain the item. The seller makes sure the boy/girl gets the item after all. In other versions of the same type of story, the seller regrets the sale and the buyer either can't go through with buying it, or after hearing why the seller might not want to part with it, they return the item later.

When I say cliche, that's not a slight. Obviously there is nothing wrong with following the formula. If you do it well, like Province did, you can earn $800.

Photo by jackieleigh (cc)

Hearts and Crafts

by Elizabeth Palmer from the March 18, 2013 issue

Tagline: Ellen didn't know the man in the supermarket, but she recognized a good thing when she saw it!

In a Nutshell: Ellen, owner of a knitting shop, shows a man in the market how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe. He's wearing a scarf she knitted, but he claims his girlfriend made it. A few days later, he comes to the shop and finds out his ex-girlfriend did take the class, but dropped it, so his scarf really was made by Ellen. They make a date to have coffee together.

Observations: So, remember how I'm always harping about how Woman's World dislikes negativity? Well, here is a story that kind of features it in the guise of the dishonest ex-girlfriend. She lies about having made the scarf. Plus she's a bad knitter. LOL I wonder if the fact that she's the ex made it all right.

I loved how the knitting ladies at her store usually went quiet when the UPS man arrived. Those UPS guys enjoy quite a reputation! My UPS delivery men aren't usually hunky.

There was humor in the banter between them, something I always like, and the story was jam packed with the ripe fruit detection storyline and the knitting mystery, but the ending was only so-so for me.

Photo by matryosha (cc)

Small Town, Big Hearts

by Shannon Fay from the March 4, 2013 issue

Tagline: It seemed to Tim that everyone in Pine Falls was weighing in on his date with Cheryl. But was that a bad thing?

In a Nutshell: Tim is on a coffee date with the new newspaper editor. They live in Pine Falls, a small town. The date goes a teensy bit south when Tim accidentally spills water on her. While she's in the ladies room cleaning up, several townspeople offer friendly advice.

Observations: I loved this story. I'm so thankful to Mary Ann for scanning and sending it to me.

Tim is adorable. He has quite a few heroic qualities. First, I love his uncertainty here.

When I asked her out for coffee, I hadn't actually expected her to say yes.

How cute is that? Also, you have the fact that he's a family practitioner, dedicated to keeping the people in his town healthy. But he's not a wimp. When he feels people are ganging up on him, he doesn't hesitate to (kindly) tell them to back off.

The part I really loved was when Cheryl was off stage. Those teenaged boys piping in. Hilarious that they're such dating experts that they're razzing Tim. Even funnier was Tim's thoughts...

"Thank you Jeremy," I replied and made a mental note to see if his shots were up to date.

Then the basketball coach tells him to stop monopolizing the conversation. Someone else suggests he ask Cheryl about her new job. The waitress brings a piece of pie that he's to use as a sort of apology. I can just picture that entire scene unfolding. It's everything we city people imagine small town life to be. All Andy Taylor and Aunt Bee-ish. Right?

And I often talk about tying the end of the story into something you mention at the beginning. This time, the author did it with something near the end of the story and it works just as neatly. After all those people offer all that advice, Tim thinks, Sometimes I really hate small towns. But at the end when everything turns out well, he thinks, Sometimes I really love small towns. Perfect, neat, and tidy!

Photo by Rocker_44 (cc)

Sent It

I finally have a story out. Put it in the mail a couple of days ago. It was the fastest story I've ever written for Woman's World. I'm happy that it's one of those stories that has no time period associated with it. It'll fit in at any time of the year.

Some key elements in the story are french fries and some cryptic writing.

I should really get another one going because likely it'll be months before I hear back.

Photos by Brandi Jordan and Carabou (cc)

Meant To Be

by Anna Jo Christopher from the March 11, 2013 issue

Tagline: After their chance meeting, Tara doubted she would see Jon again. Fortunately, she was mistaken...

In a Nutshell: Tara and Jon meet on the bus and talk about a favorite author. Coincidentally, Tara has coffee with her neighbor, Louise, every Saturday and Jon always shovels her walk when it snows.

Observations: I haven't talked about a three act structure in a while. This story is a great example of that. In the first act, we see the boy meet the girl. They make a connection, discussing books and movies. This is important, because we readers want to believe that this couple has a chance of living happily ever after. They part, neither expecting to see the other again.

In the second act, we meet Tara's neighbor and friend, Louise. This is an extremely brief scene in which Tara tells Louise about the nice guy she met on the bus.

Third act we cut to the next Wednesday. Louise has asked Tara to lunch. The surprise guest is...Jon! Lo and behold, Jon helps Louise shovel her sidewalk when it snows. Louise got both sides of the story from each of them and literally, put two and two together. Christopher ties it back to their conversation on the bus when Jon suggests they go to a reading by their mutual favorite author.

This story structure is classic because it works. Notice that the "black moment" occurs after the first act. That's a bit different from novels in which the climax occurs near the end. Sometimes, in WW stories, there isn't a black moment at all.

Photo by jubike9

Mystery Date

by Jody Lebel from the February 25, 2013 issue

Tagline: When Karen met Dan, she couldn't help thinking: it's amazing the things that turn up at yard sales!

In a Nutshell: Karen is having a yard sale. A man buys a tackle box her late husband got himself at an estate sale. Later that evening, the man returns. He'd found a monogrammed high school ring in the tackle box and suggests they track down the owner together like Sherlock and Watson.

Observations: Lots of stuff to like here.

I liked the realistic details in this story. I've held yard sales before and could readily sympathize with Karen, especially considering she was doing it on her own.

I liked that grabby first line.

Good-looking men don't show up on your lawn everyday.

I liked the minor black moment when he returns with the tackle box. She's worried he wants to return it, and if the author has done her job right, the reader worries, too.

I liked how subtly we see that Dan is interested in Karen when he lingers for a while after he's made his purchase.

Solid story.

Photo by nathanmac87 (cc)

Eureka!

So, I'm driving to work early this morning and am thinking hard. The car is always a place where my writing brain seems to want to work. Anyway, I was thinking about Valentine's Day and how my husband surprised me in a really wonderfully thoughtful way. (Hmm. I may have to write a story inspired by that, too.) I was thinking about how we'd spent our last anniversary, at the Gilroy Garlic Festival.

I thought, not everyone loves garlic like you do, Kate. People might even go so far as to think garlic is a particularly non-romantic food item.

So, I thought, what about a story that just involved tasting food. What about putting anniversaries AND tasting food together, maybe at one of those "Taste of" events, where restaurants serve tiny portions of yummy food and you get to walk around and stuff yourself sick for one fee?

My brain went nuts. I was in the zone. The plot unfolded over only about four minutes. I thought of a nostalgic element, and a cute surprise for the hero to spring on the heroine... It's gonna be a good one.

I'm in the middle of writing it right now and trying to keep negatives out of it or at least tone them down.

I sure love being in the zone. It's a place I'd like to visit more often!

Coffee Mates

by Emma Courtice from the February 18, 2013 issue

Tagline: Carla's perfect date was in the coffee shop all along. She just wasn't looking in his direction...

In a Nutshell: Carla has been using a cafe's Internet dating service but not having much luck. When talking with the barista about the last dud, she sees him in a new light.

Observations: You know those romance novels where the best friends end up lovers? One of the characters knows the other person is The One, and it takes a whole book for the other person to realize it too. This story reminded me of that, but only 800 words long.

You can tell Eric has been observing her for a while and just biding his time. The fun is seeing Carla realize what she'd been missing. First, she notices he's cut his hair. From the description--"a head of longish thick waves to a short neat trim--he underwent quite a change, so seems to me she'd have noticed the moment she got her coffee from him, but I let that pass.

Next she realizes he's older, or old enough rather, and that he has nice laugh lines around his eyes. She finds out he has a graduate degree and will be working as a veterinarian. Poor Carla didn't stand a chance. Cute story.