Tickets for Two

by Linda Nielsen from the July 29, 2013 issue

Tagline: Kelly and Steve had briefly met, but it took a matchmaking grandma to get their romance off the ground...

In a Nutshell: Kelly is reluctant to go on a blind date with the grandson of a woman who resides at the assisted living residence where she works. She has her eye on a man who goes to the movies every weekend by himself, just like she does. Turns out he is the grandson.

Observations: I loved this story. If you're a fan of Woman's World stories, then you knew immediately that the grandson and the mystery man were one and the same person. (Or is it one in the same?) But I still felt that worry when he said he was there with a date. The grandma was great after the movie, the perfect blend of pushy and loving.

There were also a couple of places where we see evidence that these two are compatible. During the movie, Kelly is thinking about Steve...

Most of the residents at the assisted living facility where she worked hardly had visitors, let alone visitors who took them out to the movies. That said a lot about Steve.

And later, when Kelly cracks jokes, Steve laughs. We all know how important it is that a couple share a sense of humor.

I really had zero complaints about this story.

Photo by Hitchster (cc)

Just One Word (original and edited versions)

by Kate Willoughby from the July 22, 2013 issue

Tagline: Libby loved the story of her grandparents' romance. And she loved it even more the second time around!

As usual, instead of analyzing my own story, I am posting it here with all the changes Johnene made to it. I do this for myself as much as I do it for you guys. It's always interesting to see exactly what she did. New material is in blue.

Libby and her grandparents, Eugene and Pam, were attending the Taste of Newhall food festival. The evening was pleasant, and the three of them took their time as they walked from booth to booth, sampling foods from, where for a fee, they had their pick of samples from dozens of local restaurants.

When they reached the booth for Home Sweet Bistro, a dark-haired man in a white chef’s jacket greeted them.

     “Good evening,” he said. “I’m Aaron Porter, chef and owner of Home Sweet Bistro.”

     Libby smiled at took in his friendly demeanor smile and warm brown eyes. “I’m Libby Wells and these are my. My grandparents, Eugene and Pam Hardy. We’re shopping around tonight and I are looking for a place to hold their fiftieth anniversary party.”

     Aaron whistled. “Fifty years. Congratulations.”

     “Thank you,” Grandpa Eugene said, then, “That looks like Is that meatloaf and mashed potatoes,?” Grandpa Eugene said. He’d been relatively silent so far, letting Libby and Grandma Pam discuss the food.

     “It is,.” Aaron said, handing handed them each a samples. “My Our specialty is comfort food with a twist.”

     “I love Can’t beat comfort food.,” Eugene said. “This meatloaf is almost as good as yours, Pam.” He winked at Aaron. I vote for this place,” Eugene said, still chewing. 

     “Be honest, sweetheart,” Pam said, “this is better than any meatloaf I ever made.”

     Libby silently agreed with her grandmother. She chewed slowly, tasting—what was it?

     , finding the meatloaf moist and delicious, flavored with s”Sundried tomatoes and roasted pine nuts.,” Aaron said, as if reading her thoughts.

     “This is better than my meatloaf,” silver-haired Pam exclaimed with a delighted smile.

     “Delicious,” Libby said.

     After visiting the restaurant with her grandparents a The next day, Libby and her grandparents had dinner at Home Sweet Bistro; two few days later, Libby met again with Chef Aaron, this time to discuss the party menu.  

Aaron led her to his cubbyhole of an office, then asked, “Where are Eugene and Pam?” he asked. They sat in his cubbyhole of an office.

“Grandpa wasn’t feeling well and Grandma Pam didn’t want to leave him.” She said whatever I decided on would be fine.”

“Nothing serious, I hope?” Aaron’s face showed concern. expression darkened with worry. “I hope it’s not serious.”

“No, just a cold,” Libby said. she answered. “A little tender loving care and he’ll “He’ll be back on his feet in no time.”

“I read somewhere that said married men live longer,” Aaron said, smiling.  Just goes to show you what the love of a good woman can do. “How “So, how did they meet?” Aaron asked.

     Libby smiled. “When he Grandpa was in college, Grandpa he waited tables at a diner, and Grandma used to go in and ask to sit at his station. I guess he was kind of shy and couldn’t work up the courage He wanted to ask her out but didn’t have the nerve. But one day, because she always ordered French fries, he knew French fries were her favorite, he included arranged for a little surprise on her plate.”

     “What kind of surprise?” was it?” Aaron asked, leaning forward.

     “An invitation to dinner.” Libby held back a smile. She laughed.

     “On a napkin?” Aaron asked.

     Libby laughed. “No! One word, written on the plate with a squeeze bottle of ketchup. “A really small invitation. All it  It said was ‘Dinner?’ Grandma said yes, and the rest is history.”

     “That’s it? One word?”

     She nodded. “Written in ketchup. That one word was enough. Grandma said yes and the rest is history.”

     Aaron grinned. and leaned forward. “So we definitely serve We need to have French fries on the menu for at the party.”

“You’re right!” Libby said. “And what if I’m making make a little program type thing.? I’m thinking a little A storybook that tells about my grandparents’ about their life together. Of course, it’ll start with the French fry story.”, including the tale of how they met, so the guests will understand about the fries.”

     “Now you’re talkin’,” Aaron said. “We can pair the fries with a nice sirloin?, or maybe a filet.” Aaron suggested.

     “Grandpa’s a loves meat and potatoes kind of guy,.” Libby agreed.

     “Now all we have to do is decide on And what about dessert?.”

     Libby looked at the suggestions he’d jotted down. “If it were me,” Libby said, “I’d have the chocolate cake, but my grandparents love Grandpa loves strawberries.” So does Grandma.”

     “So, it looks like we’ll have the strawberry shortcake?.”

     “They’ll love that. This is going to be the best fiftieth anniversary party ever.” “Perfect,” Libby said.

     After Libby handed over the a deposit check, and rose to leave, she sighed inwardly. She was sorry their meeting was over. Aaron was so easygoing. and he had this And there was that adorable dimple in his left cheek.

“All rightOkay, Libby,” he said, standing fingering the check thoughtfully. “I guess we’re all set.”

Tucking a lock of brown hair behind her ear, she managed a smile. She nodded. “I guess we are.”

She had gone as far as When she reached the doorway when he said, “Libby?”

“Yes?” She turned with a questioning look and held her breath.

“Tell your grandpa Eugene I hope he feels better.”

“Oh, sure. Of course.”

She told herself a man like that Aaron probably wasn’t single anyway.

The night of the party two weeks later was a success. , everything went splendidly. The guests of honor and all the friends and family loved Libby’s grandparents were thrilled with the storybook she’d made “in honor of their storybook romance,” and everyone raved about the food.  how the food tied in with Eugene and Pam’s fifty years together. Libby got a warm feeling in her heart every time she looked at her grandparents and how happy they were. When the strawberry shortcake was served, everyone it was time for dessert, all the guests agreed it the strawberry shortcake was the best they’d ever had.

All except Libby.

She didn’t get strawberry shortcake. The Because when the waiter brought her dessert, it wasn’t strawberry shortcake. Instead, it was a thick slice of luscious chocolate cake instead. And across the white plate in chocolate syrup she saw one word.: Dinner?

She looked up to see Aaron standing across the room, smiling at her. When their eyes met, he When she gasped, her grandma asked, “What is it, Libby?”

She held up her plate in answer just as she noticed Aaron entering the room. He lifted an eyebrow questioningly, that dimple of his winking, and she beamed at him and nodded. Libby smiled at Aaron and mouthed one word: Yes.

The rest was is history.

I have to admit, my finger got tired from going back and forth to the font color button. The ratio of original words vs. revised words is quite a bit larger than in previous stories of mine. Some of the changes I could see the reasoning behind. Most of them had me puzzled. 

I wish she would have left the part about Libby getting a warm feeling when she looked at her grandparents. I also liked her sharing Aaron's message with her grandmother and I was sad to see both parts edited out. 

But hey, a sale is a sale!

Photo by Biyu

Summer on Mulberry Lane

by Melanie Dusseau from the July 15, 2013 issue

Tagline: After rushing to Lily's side when she fell from her ladder, shy Ben realized he'd fallen hard, too--for his pretty new neighbor...

In a Nutshell: Lily falls off the ladder while trying to clean her rain gutters. Hearing her scream, Ben rushes to help her, then agrees to help her realign the down spout and show her how to mow her lawn like a pro. She offers dinner as "payment."

Observations: Two things jumped out at me about this story, things that set it apart from the norm.

1. There was a surprising amount of description in the beginning of the story. Usually writers don't have enough room in the word count to include much description of characters or the setting. The fact that is here is a refreshing change.

2. There seemed to be an abrupt change of point of view right where the little quote from the story appeared as a graphic. I wondered if Johnene put it there to help the reader make the transition. If so, it didn't really help me. I still found it jarring to be reading about Lily and then go right to Ben hearing her scream. If it had been my story, I'd have remained in Ben's POV the whole time and if I felt I needed to describe what Lily looked like, I could do it from his eyes.

I recently took Angela James' workshop, "Before You Hit Send," on self-editing, and it was fantastic. In it, she said that overuse of exclamation points is a mark of an amateur. I'd like to add that I find it annoying as well. It makes heroines seem empty-headed and way too perky. Anyway, I think Lily had five.

I found Ben to be a little too beta for me. There's shy and then there's nerd. I know nerds are hot right now, but you will pretty much never see a hero of mine "blush." His cheeks might redden or turn red. He might flush, but he won't blush. Blushing, to me, is girly.

I did like the part about the pink tools. I've seen those in the store and always sort of wanted some.

Photo by Lee Jordan (cc)

Cue Triumphant Fanfare

Look what came in the mail!

Fist pump.

The Color of Love

Tagline: Libby's decision to have her house painted had some unexpected, but very romantic results!

In a Nutshell: Libby hires Paul the Painter to paint the exterior of her house, but gets Dan the Son of the Painter instead. He gives her some very good advice about color choices and they hit it off.

Observations: This is a plot we see often in the pages of Woman's World magazine--the woman needs some service and in the course of the man providing it, they flirt a little and end up on the path to romance.

We also see two nice relatable characters.

Dan: He's a teacher. Admirable profession. He cares for his father and is willing to run his business for him when he's recuperating from surgery. He offers her that advice, based on the experience and knowledge she doubted he had.

Libby: She immediately shows sympathy for the dad, even though this news made her wary about the quality of the service about to be provided. When she realizes Dan was right, she doesn't hesitate to admit it and tell him so. She offers to pay him for the time it took to come out and paint the swatch on the front of the house.

The only part I didn't like was her touching his cheek at the end. I read that and winced, thinking invasion of personal space. I didn't feel their relationship had developed to a point where she was free to touch his face. I would have preferred she gesture toward his cheek, but not actually touch it. And his taking her hand was too much for me, too. Other than that, it was a solid story.

Photo by Mini OzzY

To-do List

by Joyce Soule from the July 1, 13 issue

Tagline: Being totally unprepared for the drenching summer storm was a stroke of good fortune for Cheryl!

In a Nutshell: Cheryl has just moved to Florida and is caught unprepared when the rain comes pouring down out of a sunny sky. A man shelters her with his umbrella then gives it to her because he's a weatherman and he has a pile of them. After the storm abates, he asks her to coffee.

Observations: This was a nice tight first meet, man-to-the-rescue story, but nothing to write home about. Right off the bat we see her goals via her to-do list. As a veteran Woman's World story reader, the minute I saw the list--New job, groceries (check), new friends, car--I knew that one of the unfinished items would be checked off by the end, and I was right.

Their conversation is cute. I liked Cheryl. She was a proactive, confident woman who reminded me a little of Mary Tyler Moore for some reason.

One of my favorite parts was where she repeats his "bio" word for word in her thoughts...

I looked up the avenue, hoping the bus wouldn't come any time soon. A rain delay, maybe? I was enjoying my chat with Ron Byers, on at five on Bay News Nine.

But the ending, where she checks off the "new friends" to-do item, was good too.

Photo by: Colin McMillen

New Email

I am having a lot of trouble with my Yahoo email, so I am changing to Gmail. My new address is katewillow, the number 727, at gmail d0t c0m.

Thanks for understanding.

Lean on Me

by Krista Weidner from the June 24, 2013 issue

Tagline: This time, it was the firefighter who needed help--and Kendyl was more than happy to come to his rescue...

In a Nutshell: Kendyl is volunteering at the blood drive as a "walker." A firefighter she's supposed to be walking to the snack table faints and she helps him back onto the cot. They hit it off.

Observations: I really liked this story a lot, but then again, I have a thing for firefighters. When they come into my store, I go all weak-kneed.

This was one of those stories that was so smoothly written, I have trouble finding the good things to point out, because they all meld together so seamlessly. I saw nothing "bad" at all.

Oh, wait, maybe the last paragraph.

"Very funny," Sam said, taking the napkin, grabbing a donut, and heading toward the door.

I thought that seemed like it could be sarcastic. Of course, we know the hero likes her and is giving a compliment, but it comes across as slightly matter-of-fact.

Other than that, it's very easy to see why Johnene bought this one.

Photo by Charleston's TheDigitel

Must Love Dogs

by Karen Thurber from the June 7, 2013 issue

Tagline: Jenna worried she might be lonely when she moved from the city to a small town. Then she met Matt...

In a Nutshell: Online dog treat entrepreneur Jenna isn't sure she's going to like living in a small town. She hits it off with the postmaster when she's mailing her parents' anniversary gift and realizes she does like it after all.

Observations: This story had several things going for it, Woman's World-wise.

1. It tried to show how nice small towns are. Sometimes I think Woman's World readers exist in a vacuum of perpetual Americana, or maybe that Johnene thinks they do. Either way, the goodwill of small town America always seems to be welcome within the pages of Woman's World.

2. There are dogs in the story. 'Nuff said.

3. Thurber included a Sentimental Item - Jenna's grandmother's wedding ring.

4. She also created an hero
ic hero. In WW, heroic behavior can take the form of gallantry and here, Matt offers to pay for the postage when Jenna realizes she left her wallet.

My Favorite Part: "I'm the postmaster...and you're new in town.

"Still unpacking," Jenna said. "I guess you know most everyone."

"Not most everyone. Everyone," he said, flashing a warm smile.

Matchmaking Neighbors

by Marie Savage from the June 10, 2013 issue

Tagline: If only Mrs. Nelson next door would take the hint: Katie didn't need any help meeting guys...or did she?

In A Nutshell: Katie's neighbor, Mrs. N, is a self-styled matchmaker. Katie expects her to try again, but is surprised when Mrs. N only asks Katie to let a plumber in while they're away. The plumber comes and through conversation, they realize that Mrs. N created a perfect storm.

Observations: As you may know, I have three workshops geared toward teaching people how to write and sell romance stories to Woman's World. In one of the "advanced" classes I talk about the matchmaking story.

Here's an excerpt from the workshop in which I describe how the straight matchmaker story differs from a blind date story.

1.  There may not be an actual date.

·      The hero and heroine may meet, but soon they realize—surprise!—they’ve been set up. But the magic happens anyway, and the date gets planned.

·      They may be at the matchmaker’s house for dinner or whatever. Sometimes the matchmaker is there to oversee everything. Sometimes they may contrive to be absent.

·      The matchmaker arranges for the hero and heroine to meet at an event, like the school carnival, the blood drive, the Annual Rubber Ducky Regatta, etc.

·      One of the matchees is a professional painter, plumber, piano teacher, etc. and the other matchee needs that service. What a coincidence!

2. The matchmaker may actually appear and/or play a large part in the story. There was one tale I remember told from the point of view of the matchmaker herself. That was a refreshing twist on the cliché.

3. And once in a while, the matchmaker is unaware they’re playing Cupid. They drop an offhand comment that gets the hero or heroine thinking romantically, and the rest is history.

This story by Savage is a combination of the #1 variations, solidly written, but not particularly memorable for me. I did laugh at this line, though.

Mrs. Nelson was at it again.

Photo by Spierzchala (cc)

Hearts for Sale

by Shannon Fay from the June 3, 2013 issue

Tagline: Holly and Neil had been neighbors for years, but one sunny Saturday, they finally got to know each other...

In a Nutshell: Holly is participating in the community yard sale in an effort to get rid of her ex-husband's stuff. Her friend, widower Neil, is selling his daughter's stuff at her behest. She's going away to college and doesn't want to leave her clutter behind for her dad to deal with. Holly and Neil get to know each other better between sales.

Observations: I really liked the pace of this story. Sometimes a Woman's World story can feel choppy because the short word count forces us to cram a lot of stuff into a small space. But this story felt leisurely, which was nice, considering the characters themselves were enjoying a leisurely Saturday.

Much of this story occurred in Holly's head as she recalled the info we readers needed to know about their history. There were only four snatches of conversation. The rest was introspection and narrative.

What I really liked was how it all built up to the black moment at the very very end. Usually the black moment occurs in the last third, followed by a short denouement. I really felt Holly's anxiety that he'd say no and it was a nice relief when he didn't.

New in Town

by Jenn Walker from the May 27, 2013 issue

Tagline: Thunder, lightning, that strange dog on her front lawn...Shelley knew it was going to be a bad night. She couldn't have been more wrong..

In a Nutshell: Shelley is unloading groceries during a storm. A strange and scary looking dog darts into her house when she isn't watching. Jacob, the man who owns her, appears on the scene and apologizes, explaining that his dog is afraid of thunderstorms and hides under his bed. Sure enough, the dog is under Shelley's bed. Shelley and Jacob get acquainted while the storm passes through.

Observations: Well, darn. I was struck again by Woman's World story blindness. MY dog hides under the bed on windy days. Why didn't I think about writing a story about that? I know Woman's World likes pet stories. LOL  Oh well. The early bird catches the worm.

I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness analysis this week. This is where I jot down my thoughts as I read the story.

Oh, the dog on the lawn reminds me of the movie Cujo even though I've never watched it. Scary!

She walks past the dog trying to appear confident. Smart girl. Dogs read your emotions. I learned that from the Dog Whisperer.

I notice some somewhat complicated set-up going on...the dog edging closer, her leaving the door open, the truck pulling up, her not asking for help... I buy that this could have happened, so it doesn't feel contrived in that "give me a break" way, but it all feels a little clunky.

When the dog darts into her house, LOL! "Oh, you're kidding me." Funny.

Ooh. Very sexy. A man came around the truck, a rain-drenched tee-shirt plastered to his muscular chest.

Rottweiler? Those are big dogs. I wondered just how high those beds were. Then again, maybe that's why it was impossible to get the dog out from under.

Aww. Cute awkward moment.
     "Thanks, Shelley. I couldn't have asked for a nicer welcoming committee."
     "And I couldn't have asked for a nicer man." Shelley's eyes widened in embarrassment. "I mean, a nicer man with a dog who--" her voice trailed off and she raised her hands in a helpless gesture.

The last few paragraphs are a run-of-the-mill ending. Nothing that made me sigh in happiness.

Photo by Brilhasti1 (cc)

Emma's Choice

by Susan C. Hall from the May 20, 2013 issue

Tagline: When Matt, with his friendly grin and smiling eyes, appeared in her life, Emma realized what she'd been missing...

In A Nutshell: Emma's friend points out that Emma's current relationship is one-sided. The boyfriend always gets his way. When she meets a man who seems more than willing to let her choose something, like the restaurant on their dinner date, Emma realizes what a fool she's been.

Observations: At first, I thought this was not the type of story that I would have expected Woman's World to choose because we have to focus on what is wrong in Emma's relationship. Then I realized that actually, it's a perfect story for a woman's magazine because the "moral" is, if taken to the extreme, being a people pleaser can be bad.

Also, after reading this story, I was confident this couple had a great chance of living happily ever after because the author showed so many connections between them.

1. They work in the same industry--helping homeowners. She sells homeowner's insurance and he works at a title company.)

2. They both like dogs, even if he owns a cat.

3. He is focused on pleasing her by allowing her to choose the restaurant, rather than the other way around.

Finally, I haven't talked about character arcs in a while, but you can clearly see Emma's eyes opening with regard to her selfish, soon-to-be-ex, boyfriend.  She begins the story defending her boyfriend's selfish ways, saying he has preferences not rules, but by the end of the story, she realizes that things aren't in balance. Character growth is one of those things that isn't mandatory in these romance stories, but it never hurts.

Photo by grendelkahn (cc)

Number Eleven!

Score! Just when I thought my weekend couldn't get any better...

"My" team, the Los Angeles Kings, advanced to the next level of the Stanley Cup Playoffs last night, finally beating the St. Louis Blues. Color me really happy. The Kings are the defending champs and no one has won the Stanley Cup twice in a row since 1997.

Then, today I got a contract in the mail for the story I submitted in February! Yeah! Go me!

This story was a perfect storm. I got the idea in the car on the way to work--the whole plot, practically. I got to work and jotted it down on a scrap of paper. I went home and wrote it, and it came amazingly easy, even the ending, which I always have trouble with. My critique partner gave it the once over, and I sent it. I had a really good feeling about it, and for good reason, it turns out.

Doing the happy dance. Will be going out for a celebratory dinner tomorrow night.

One Perfect Rose

by Mary Haupt from the May 13, 2013 issue

Tagline: Angie's life would have turned out very differently if she hadn't stopped that day to smell the rose...

In a Nutshell: Angie stops to smell a rose displayed in the window of a florist's shop. The owner shares the story of how his grandfather used to own a florist's shop and met his wife when she stopped to smell a rose displayed in his window. What a coincidence!

Observations: Well, let me tell you it's been a long time since a Woman's World story made me tear up, but this one did.

I liked the hook at the beginning.

Sometimes, late at night, just before I fall asleep, I try to imagine what my life would be like if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Makes you curious.

When I got to the middle of the story where Nick is telling the story of how his grandfather met his grandmother, I sighed. How sweetly sentimental and so very Woman's World. I could picture Johnene reading that same part in the story and saying to herself, "Yep. This one's a keeper."

But that was only the preamble to the really sweetly sentimental part:

That's why, sometimes, late at night, I think of how my life would be different if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago. I know I wouldn't be hearing the soft breathing of my husband, Nick, asleep beside me. Or the soft cooing of our baby in her crib nearby.

And I know there wouldn't be a freshly cut rose in a slender silver vase on the kitchen table each night when I get home from work. 

But there is.

Wow. Tears. (Even though I think to myself, he doesn't snore??? LOL)

Photo by lmainjohnson7 (cc)

How Did You Meet?

by Mary Ann Joyce and Rakel Joyce from the May 6, 2013 issue

Tagline: Jenny dreamed of meeting her soul mate one day...but she doubted an online dating site would help her find him...

In a Nutshell: Jenny's friend convinces her to try an online dating site. As she's filling out her profile, her computer crashes. The tech guy comes and as her computer comes back to life, he sees the profile, in progress. After joking around a little, he asks her to dinner.

Observations: If you haven't ever checked out The Writer's Journey by Christopher Vogler, it's worth a look. In it, he outlines a plot structure that's as old as the Greeks and very successful. I don't think I've ever tried to apply it to a super short Woman's World story, but it (almost) worked.

1. Heroes are introduced in the ORDINARY WORLD: Jenny is talking
with her friend, Erin, about her love life.

2. They receive the CALL TO ADVENTURE: Erin urges her to join an online dating site.

3. They are RELUCTANT at first or REFUSE THE CALL: Jenny resists.

4. They are encouraged by a MENTOR: Erin bribes her with enchiladas.

5. They CROSS THE THRESHOLD and enter the special world: Jenny begins making an online profile.

6. They encounter TESTS, ALLIES, AND ENEMIES: The computer crashes. Jenny calls a tech guy.

7. They APPROACH THE INMOST CAVE and cross a second threshold: She invites the tech guy in, lingering as their hands are clasped from shaking hands.

8. They endure the ORDEAL: The computer has a virus.

9. They take possession of their REWARD: They connect over the fact that they are dog lovers.

10: They are pursued on THE ROAD BACK to the Ordinary World: There is no real pursuit in this story, but they return to the Ordinary World, but off stage, where they go out to dinner.

Here our story veers from the Writer's Journey structure. The Joyces skip step 11.

11. They cross the third threshold, experience a RESURRECTION and are transformed by the experience.

12. They RETURN WITH THE ELIXIR, a boon or treasure to benefit the ORDINARY WORLD: Jenny and Ryan, the tech guy, become a couple.

Photo by Nist6ss (cc)

Time For Love

by Kay Layton Sisk from the April 22, 2013 issue

Tagline: Ella and Geordie were too young when they fell in love the first time. Now, the time seemed just about perfect.

In a Nutshell: Ella enters her cinnamon rolls in the Fair baking contest. The judge is her ex-husband from many years ago. They'd married too young and divorced two years later. Now, after they both achieved their professional goals, it seems as if the spark is still there.

Observations: Here we see Americana striking again in the form of the county fair. The fair as a setting for Woman's World stories is becoming as common as the animal shelter or flower shops. It provides that comforting, traditional ambience that Woman's World likes.

What I liked about this story was that I could totally believe that Ella and Geordie still had feelings for each other and that the only reason their marriage had failed was that they'd been too young to deal with it.

I was surprised that they let the thing about him using the family recipe go. But I was glad to see she wasn't falsely cross about it.

I loved how they talked about the missing secret ingredient, which we readers knew immediately was love. It was such a brilliant way to have them talk about their love lives, but in a secret way known only to them. Using that intimate knowledge from their past only helped push them a little closer to reconciliation and it was so sweet how he opened that door for them by exposing himself before she did.

Photo by stephan.maloman (cc)

Annabelle Knows Best

by Rochelle Banks from the April 22, 2013 issue

Tagline: Rob's aunt told him about her neighbor Molly. Molly's neighbor told her about her nephew Rob. And that was that...

In a Nutshell: Molly's driveway is blocked by a tree that fell due to a storm. Annabelle's nephew has been helping Annabelle with clean up and comes over to offer his help to Molly as well. They hit it off, and guess what! Annabelle has been trying to introduce them to each other for a long time.

Observations: This is one of those stories that might have evolved from a real life experience. Sometimes when I need inspiration for a WW story, I just think about what's going on in my life at the moment. Basing your stories in real life can establish a commonality between you/the characters and the readers. They might say to themselves, "Oh, we have storms like that around here."

Something I noticed in this story that I don't often see is the hero being--well, to me--sexy. The guy is all sweaty in her front yard with a power tool! And yet, he still has that aw, shucks boy-next-door quality to him.

This matchmaker story was solid.

Photo by nikoretro (cc)

Brighter Days Ahead

by Wendy Hobday Haugh from the April 15, 2013 issue

Tagline: After meeting Carrie Hanson, Joe was ready to take a new chance on love...

In a Nutshell: Joe takes his daughter and her best friend to the town carnival. He's intrigued by the pretty woman painting faces. When the girls insist he get his face painted too, he works up the courage to ask her out.

Observations: Here is Americana in the form of a carnival or fair. I think I've said before that reading a Woman's World romance is sort of like stepping into a Norman Rockwell painting, but with modern touches. For instance, I don't think they painted kid's faces in Rockwell's day.

Anyway, I think this story worked because we get so close to Joe, the hero. We get to see him having a great time and being a fantastic father, but we also see his vulnerability, which is irresistible to me. When a guy lets his guard down, I go all weak-kneed. And then he puts himself on the line and asks her out. You can't help but find yourself rooting for him.

I thought the last line, referring back to a line the love interest says earlier in the story was wonderful.

She says:

"There were too many kids waiting for me to bring out the lion, tiger and fairy princess in them."

At the end of the story after she's accepted his invitation to dinner, we read:

Smiling, he drew a deep breath, leaned back and let his inner lion roar.

So cute!!!

Photo by slightly everything (cc)

Remember?

by Anna Jo Christopher from the April 8, 2013 issue

Tagline: Keith moved back to Pine Valley for a fresh start--and gave his old romance with Allison a fresh start too...

In a Nutshell: Widower Keith has moved back to his hometown with his young daughter. Allison's daughter is the same age and they are getting along famously. Allison hasn't dated much since her divorce two years ago, but she remembers Keith from when they were kids and likes him. When she overhears the two girls talking about Keith and a "Miss Reed," Allison fears he's interested in someone else, but Miss Reed is a spinster neighbor. Keith asks Allison out.

Observations: In my opinion, the story from last week had too many characters and I thought the story would have been easier to follow if it had only been one friend, not three. This week, the story has a lot of characters, too, but they all play an integral part. The two daughters have to be in the story because they present the reason why Keith and Allison are spending time together. Allison's mom is there to provide some backstory on Allison and to nudge her along her character arc. So, when writing a story with a largish cast, make sure the characters are necessary.

I experienced a little bump where a better transition was needed here:

     Keith was such a great father, [sic] and a really good guy. "That sounds like fun," she said. "Mandy and I will bring dessert."
     "Of course I remember Keith," Allison's mother said on the phone. "Didn't his family move away when you were in high school?

There is a scene change here, but because Woman's World doesn't do line breaks, it's not immediately apparent. Keep this in mind, also. Here's what might have been an easy fix:


  Keith was such a great father, [sic] and a really good guy. "That sounds like fun," she said. "Mandy and I will bring dessert."
     The next day, Allison told her mother Keith was back in town.
     "Of course I remember Keith," Allison's mother said on the phone. "Didn't his family move away when you were in high school?

Despite that, I thought the story was darling.

Photo: Denise Mayumi (cc)