Tagline: When the make-believe gypsy met the make-believe pirate, their mutual attraction was definitely for real!
In a Nutshell: Jen doesn't want to go to a friend's Halloween party because her ex will be there. She stays home to greet trick-or-treaters instead. As the number of kids decreases dramatically, a little mermaid appears, accompanied by her pirate father. Turns out they just moved in down the street. Also turns out he's going to the party Jen didn't want to go to, but when he asks her to go with him, she changes her mind!
Observations: I saw a few things in this story that I wanted to point out.Jen is your everyday woman. We've all been in her shoes...not wanting to attend a party for one reason or another. We feel slightly guilty about not wanting to go and perhaps even throw ourselves a small, private pity party. We try to lift our mood in some other way. Jen immerses herself in the fun of Halloween. Creating a heroine we can identify with is a good thing.
Did you notice the foreshadowing?
Then a man I didn't recognize strode past. Hmmm, I thought, leaning forward to see where he was headed. Probably the house on the corner. I'd seen a moving van last week, and a child's tricycle in the drive.
Of course, that's our hero.
I really liked how the little girl had difficulty with her Rs. It was cute. I also thought her dialog was very believable, unlike in that movie Liar, Liar that I had the misfortune of watching part of the other night when my son wanted to watch it. That kid laughed at jokes that no five year old kid would understand. It was ridiculous.
At its core, this story is just like any other cute meet story in WW, but it happens during Halloween. Perhaps that's something to take into consideration. The only exception I can think of is Christmas themed stories because I think those need to be a bit more poignant and meaningful.
Photo by wwarby (cc)
15 comments:
It appeared to me that there were two issues devoted to Halloween, which allows for two Halloween stories to be pubished. So, are there also two Valentine Day issues, so that two of us have a chance? Christmas, too, perhaps?
Also, Kate, I noticed that a comment was deleted by the blogger; how did she do that?
Oh, sure. I think almost all the big holidays offer more than once chance, especially Christmas.
I deleted a couple of posts myself. It's my blog and I have the powah! LOL
Hear Kate roar...:)
Tamara, the year I sold a Christmas story it was the first of three, the magazine was on sale the day after Thanksgiving. I've never noticed multiples for any other holidays until this Halloween.
Do you remember how long it took you to get a contract for the Christmas story, Betsi? Was it the usual timeframe? (I could just relax and wait, but you know how we writers are.)
Tamara, I understand completeley. I got that contract on 9/28. Last year I subbed for Xmas and didn't sell, the rejection came on 10/17, the day after someone on the Yahoo group posted a sale. So there should be some news soon, I hope it's good for you! (since I didn't send one this year, LOL)
I'm still waiting to hear on a Christmas submission...
Good luck with the Christmas submission, Kate :)
Also, in regards to your earlier post (sorry for some reason I didn't see it) "Nicole, everything in moderation. Use adverbs judiciously and wisely. My rule of thumb is to use a strong verb whenever possible, but if the adverb is necessary, go for it."
Thank you for the advice. I like using adverbs sometimes, but have been made more aware that I tend to use them too much. For some reason I seem to use the words: definitely, merely, and wildly alot. Trying to work on that :(
Nicole
Heh heh. I just realized I used two adverbs in my sentence about using adverbs! LMAO We all have pet words that we over use. My number one culprit is "just." More advice on this, even though you didn't ask for it, just do a search later for those pet words and delete or substitute as needed.
I like to put certain words in "find" and see how many times I've used them. Sometimes I get surprised.
Ha! See? I used "just" in that last post, and it didn't need to be there. LOL
Tamara, do you remember which words surprised you? I'm just curious.
I just meant that I don't always realize how many times I've repeated a word until I use the "Find" feature and they all pop up. I have a real "thing" about reusing the same word in consecutive sentences, too, so I watch for that as well.
Ah. I use "Find" to change characters' names, or to find a spot in my manuscript when I'm too lazy to scroll and skim to find it. LOL
That, too, Kate.
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