Tagline: When Carey wouldn't take the first step on the path to love, her best friends took it for her!
Observations: This was almost a mini-mystery. We were all trying to figure out who left the roses.
I liked Carey's development as a character. She states that she's not looking for a boyfriend, having suffered from a bad break-up only a year ago, but by the end of the story, there's a moment where she makes the conscious decision to put herself out there. She is ready to enter the dating world again. That's showing, not telling, nicely done.
I wasn't crazy about how many names and characters swirled around. Mandy, Carey, Sheila, Stacy, Freddie, Ted. That's a lot of people for 800 words. I think the story could easily have worked with only one friend. But then again, the fact that there were three matchmakers made it a teensy bit different from all the other matchmaker stories.
I don't often see subterfuge in Woman's World stories (the friends leave the flowers and pretend not to know who them came from.) So this is different, too.
I also like my beta heroes just a tad more assertive than shy, sweet, blush-prone Ted. If I had been Carey, I might have gone for Freddie instead. At least he asked her out. Just my humble opinion.
16 comments:
Kate, my first thought was also "too many characters." It's a WW romance, not War and Peace, LOL! And when Ted asks "why did you think it was me?" and tells her that her friends left the flowers . . . well, I'd have been pretty embarrassed if I were Carey. But of course it all works out in the end after that awkward moment.
My first thought was, why didn't Johnene buy my roses, roses, roses story? Well, in mine, the girl sent the roses to herself because everyone in the office had some kind of romance going and she didn't. Then she took them to a hospital and gave the roses out to the patients. The doctor, impressed with her kindness, invited her out to dinner (the usual WW date). Hey, I had a lot of people in my story, too, as I recall, but that was when the word length was maybe 2000.
Mary Jo, that sounds like a great story -- very different and unique. I can't understand why it didn't make it.
I was surprised there were so many characters in this story because I didn't think WW bought stories with to many characters. But it worked and didn't seem confusing. I thought the premise was cute and that's what WW looks for, I think.
Happy Easter everyone. On that subject, does WW go for 'occasion' stories, Christmas, Easter, Father/Mother's Day, Thanksgiving? This one doesn't seem to be, so maybe no one submitted one with that theme. Could be something to bear in mind this time next year.
Mary Jo, I think that sending roses to herself smacks a bit of desperation, even though she gave them to hospital patients.
Chris, yes, they buy holiday stories. Aim to submit them six to seven months before they would need to appear in the magazine.
I wrote one for Valentine's day where the husband sent a dozen roses to the heroine's office. On the way home she encountered an unemployed guy with a new baby and gave him 11 of the roses to give to his wife. I called it "A Single Rose," and I have to say, I LOVED that story. Johnene said she liked it too, but of course she had to decline. Yeah, that negativity thing! I'm still hoping to find a home for it someday.
Did Johnene say why she declined, Betsi? What was more kindness than romance? Some of the foreign markets Chris has told us about might use it. It sounds touching.
Tamara, I dug out the rejection and it just says "I'm sorry this sweet romance doesn't quite work for me." I tried to make it romantic by saying that in the first year of their marriage, her husband could only afford a single rose -- and that's still all she needs. And her husband loves her all the more when he finds out she gave the flowers away. It was probably a bit TOO sweet!
Yes, I think I'll send it to one of the foreign markets. When the heroine encounters the broke guy in the store, I'll have to show him buying "nappies" instead of diapers.
Some of the British terms are pretty cute. That romance story sounds even better when you describe it more and bring it full circle with the husband's original one rose.
Betsi, I love your single rose story. Johnene must not have liked the unemployed part...? Send it off to another mag. I bet someone will snap it up.
I agree with all of the above. That story HAS to find a home, Betsi. Depending on the word count, it's worth sending to Fast Fiction (Oz), or possibly Woman's Weekly or Best here in the UK. Email it to me if you like, and I'll check out the 'Britishness'. If you don't want to leave it to next Valentine's, you could adapt it to something else, a birthday perhaps, or anniversary (or both, to avoid too much coincidence between the two characters). That way, if it doesn't sell in that context, you've still got Valentine's to fall back on for next year.
Thanks for the encouragement, ladies! Usually I take my WW rejections in stride, but I really liked this story and will definitely send it elsewhere. It made family members cry, those usually don't make the cut w/WW, I think they avoid too much sentiment.
Chris, it's 800 words but I could easily make it longer. I'll take you up on your offer once I decide if I want to change it or wait for next year. It could work to have it be the heroine's anniversary and the other woman's birthday -- great suggestion. :)
Kate, it doesn't really matter since WW refused my roses story; however, it did not "smack" of anything. Actually, it was a Valentine story, now that I think of it, and the girl was simply tired of unwelcome comparisons with her "coupled" co-workers. Later she realized that was just dumb, and she gave the roses to the hospital patients, getting little bits of their personal stories along the way. That is what impressed the doctor who asked her out.
Betsi,I do hope you publish your story somewhere. I think it will make many readers very happy.
Mary Jo, you seem upset and I apologize.
See, Kate, that's the trouble with semantics--words have no meaning unless the one who reads them knows the tone of the one who wrote them. That is what makes writing so interesting, and often so difficult. I just wanted to be clear about the motivation in my story. No, I hope that all of us who write on your blog can simply take it for granted that everyone has the best interests of all the others at heart. It is a small community.
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