In a Nutshell: Trey is shy with women after his divorce. He's admired the waitress at his favorite cafe from afar for too long. When he overhears her wish for a man who brings flowers and recites poetry, he makes that wish come true and she loves it.
Observations: Mary Ann Joyce can always be relied upon for a great story. There were several places that I smiled while reading.
1. "I just walked over. Didn't take a car or anything." He grinned. -- This made me smile. It showed he had a sense of humor. Also, no one really likes an eavesdropper, so by alerting her to the fact that he heard her, he's off the hook and it paves the way for him to use that information to his advantage.
2. "…deserve much better," Trey whispered to himself. -- My. I don't know how I expected him to finish his sentence, but this was very romantic and sweet. I liked this man before this point in the story, but when I read this part, my heart melted.
3. He nodded and headed out. He hadn't made his move yet, but he was thinking. -- I don't really know why I liked this part so much. It was a smooth transition, clearly ending the scene. It let us know that Trey wasn't giving up and that he thought enough of Meg to put some real thought into his approach. He wasn't just going to off the cuff say, "Hey, let's go out."
4. "Good," Trey laughed, "because I was about to sing next, and that might get ugly." -- Again, love the humor.
Photo by Muffet (cc)
8 comments:
I loved, loved, loved everything about this story from the cute, new premise, to the characters, to the humor. Great job, Mary Ann.
This was just a great little story. Nice job making us love Trey. It was nice to see a story from a man's POV. The story moved along well and there were several spots that were touching or funny. My favorite line was: "Sometimes he laughed to much when they talked, the good feeling lasted the rest of they day."
Yeah, he's smitten all right.
Such a well written, lovely story, Mary Ann, it had success written all over it even before it went into the envelope. I always love a man with a sense of humour and this one's so nice, so sweet and considerate, you know he's going to be a keeper. I always love your stories and this one left me with a warm glow inside.
I loved Trey's gentle humor...really good story! :-)
The word for Mary Ann's stories is "delightful," and this one doesn't disappoint. Keep them coming, Mary Ann!
Thanks, everyone! This story got me back in the swing again after a short break. I wasn't so sure about it, but glad it seemed to please.
--Mary Ann
I really like your hero and the story. I like his self-deprecating ways and his sense of humor.
Thanks, Sandra! There's a fine line between making your hero self-deprecating and wimpy. I always want the guy to seem strong, but in a sweet way, you know? And that's not to say that the woman shouldn't make the first move once in awhile either!
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