Tagline: Tim had a feeling Amy was "the one," but he just couldn't tell her what was in his heart...
In a Nutshell: Tim is your typical young man, playing the field, not really looking for love, so when he meets Amy, he's a bit blindsided. Suddenly shy, he bumbles his approach a couple of times before she finally takes matters into her own hands.
Observations: The appeal of this story for me was the intimate telling of it from the hero's point of view. It was cute to see his paradigm shift from the type of woman he'd always been attracted to, to someone more like you and me, since I've never been a head-turner, tall or athletic! LOL
There was a bit of a black moment as his sister--sort of a quasi villain in this story--says maybe the universe is trying to tell him something. But our hero ignores her.
We also get an epilogue paragraph in which we find out how it all turned out: wedding, starter home and a baby on the way.
Not your typical Woman's World story, but well within the tone and style of the magazine. Well done.
Photo credit: Larsinio via Wikimedia Commons
14 comments:
I liked this one -- the first-person social history and the shock of meeting a girl who knocked him off his game, but I didn't like the conversation between him and her when she confronted him about his shyness. I thought it was a little too direct (it shocked me), abd I'm not sure she had any real reason to think he was shy -- clumsy maybe, but they both were (she knocked over her drink at the sight of him). That was all cute, but I would have liked it better without the "I'll be honest" paragraph. Glad DuBois made the sale, though.
Make that "and" I'm not sure ..."
That point hadn't really occurred to me when I read it, but I have to agree Amy was mildly critical when she could have been understanding; 'we're both such klutzes, Tim, we need to look out for one another' sort of thing. Other than that, it had bags of charm and, again, it made a nice change to see a male POV story.
Good alternate, Chris. There's always the possibility that the scene I mentioned was an editor's creation and the author is cursing and pulling out her hair (on the way to the bank).
You know, now that you mention it...Tim and Amy might not have as rosy a future as I'd first thought. LOL
LOL, Kate...stumbling down the aisle. That's romantic.
I don't remember this story. I have a feeling I missed an issue. Gotta check. I have a subscription so I get them early, but I usually remember the story once I read your review, Kate..
No, I did not receive this issue either. Many of the WW magazines are arriving in practically shredded condition. It hardly seems worth a subscription.
I think this story has a lot going for it, and the one or two glitches may have been in the editing and not in the original.
1- The male point of view was convincing; he sounded like a guy.
2- His physical awkwardness whenever he approached Amy was amusing and well-handled. (Yes she knocked over her latte, but it was his startling her that caused the spill.)
3- His description of his feelings when he first noticed Amy (a guy talking about feelings!) was endearing. Put the reader right in his corner.
4- I agree Amy's speech near the end was awkward. Fine that she showed up in his cubicle, but maybe that alone (plus that he was seated and therefore less apt to fall over himself) would have allowed him the confidence to have been a pinch pro-active. Then she could have jumped in, virtually reading his mind, and perhaps be the first to actually mention a date. Would show they were both in tune and equally attracted.
5- Small quibble #1: Another adjective than "adoring" sisters? Sounds conceited, and in every other respect the narrator is so likeable. Maybe "attentive and caring" more on target?
6- Small quibble #2:"Playing the field" suggests dating more than one girl at the same time. He specifically says he never did that.
All in all, I thought this story succeeded more than most.
Good analysis, Zadea. I also thought 'playing the field' probably didn't convey quite the nice-guy image the author might have been hoping for. You're right, we always have to bear in mind that what's in the magazine may not be word for word what was submitted.
Great analysis, Zadea! I just wish I'd read the story.
I'll email it to you, Betsi. On its way...2nd oraterio
Oops, you got the code too!
Hmm, since I DID read it, and forgot it, I guess that's a "meh" vote from me!
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