Tagline
When Alex met Katie, Halloween went from scary to enchanting!
In a Nutshell
A woman is out on Halloween and a werewolf notices her being followed. When she is ambushed, she takes down one guy herself and the werewolf, an undercover cop, captures the other. They make a date for coffee.
Observations
This was a very unusual story in that it was bursting with surprises! I very much enjoyed the first person hero POV. It was refreshing. The beginning was very "telling," and you really get a narrator feeling from the guy. It might have been dull except for the fact that he's in protector-mode, which is a great trait to have if you're the hero in a romance story.
My first surprise was when the woman took the one guy down with a karate chop. That was awesome and so unexpected. Then, when the werewolf turned out to be a copy, I was like, "Whoa! Double whammy!"
However, there were some fight mechanics that were a bit off. Forgivable in a story like this, but in a more gritty and realistic story, would irritate me. Katie manages to take a guy down with karate and still hold onto the basket. I questioned why he didn't cuff the first guy before taking him back to the scene of the crime. I also thought with all the grabbing and karate chopping, the cupcakes would either have flown out of the basket or been hopelessly messed up.
I also thought it was a little stupid of her to go down that street, especially after his seminar at her school was one on safety. Knowledge of karate doesn't mean you should take unnecessary risks.
But, still, a great story!
Photo credit: By Kristin Ausk (originally posted to Flickr as Cupcake sampler box) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
10 comments:
Thanks for the lovely review Kate! You bring up some valid points...I got caught up in the 'spirit' of the moment and forgot to consider the timing on the handcuffing, and that the cupcakes most certainly would have been squashed. I still have lots learn about the art of crafting fiction, but Woman's World is such a fun market to target.
I want to thank you for the time you invest in mentoring other authors. I very much appreciate the insights you share here on your blog and in the treasure trove of info you make available through your classes. I've taken them all, and my writing has grown tremendously because of the experience.
I thought this story was wonderfully different! I liked the hero POV and the very capable heroine. I noticed the basket, also, but was too engaged in getting the bad guy to let that bother me. Very well done, Lisa. Loved the spooky Halloween feel.
Sorry if this posts twice. I've been having computer issues this evening.
I really enjoyed this story. Have to agree with Melanie, I was surprised at first that WW would publish a story where there was a potential for something bad to happen to the character. However, this was a very good read, and the characters were well-written. Congrats to Ms. Weaver!
On a different note, Kate, do you think it would be acceptable for the hero and heroine in a WW story to drink champagne? I wasn't sure if drinking was a no-no in WW story lines? They aren't getting "toasted" merely sharing a small toast :)
Tressa
Lisa, I missed this issue so I won't comment on the story, but I see that it's your THIRD Halloween story sale! That's one holiday I haven't attempted to write a story around, and I think I'll continue to avoid it. ;-) Congrats!
Mary Jo was kind enough to share the story with me, so now I can comment. I loved it! I thought the hero's character was well developed in the short space, and the writing flowed beautifully. I've sold first person stories, but none of my male POV stories have sold, so I'm kinda-sorta jealous. ;-)
In reader mode I wouldn't have given the intact cupcakes a second thought. The only thing that took me out of the story was wondering why the bad guys would grab her basket. Since it clearly wasn't a purse, I wondered why they'd think it had valuables in it. But that is a very minor quibble. The story was great.
For me, the best thing about this story was the atmosphere it evoked. One could just feel the chill in the air, and people in costume flitting about on the dark streets. Something was bound to happen on such a night.
Thanks so much for the wonderful comments Melanie, Susan, Tressa, Betsi, and Mary Jo. I fall solidly under the shy and retiring category so I'm usually a lurker, not a poster. I'm really glad I dropped by the blog! You ladies are awesome, and so supportive! And yes, Betsi, although I've submitted Thanksgiving and Christmas themed stories to WW, my Halloween stories are the ones that seem to be charmed. ;) I do think the October 31st holiday allows for a bit more wiggle room in terms of writing outside of the box when it comes to WW's preferred story lines. :)
I too loved this story. I didn't even think of the basket of cupcakes, I was too wrapped up in the wonderful characters and setting of this story.
It did cross my mind about the potential violence in a WW romance but I chalked it up to the season. I love Halloween, and Lisa this was a great story, well written. Congrats!
I really liked this story, too. It definitely evoked the spooky night and although the hero didn't have to actually "Save" the heroine, he sure is awesome, chasing down the other thief. Just the type of guy we'd all love to have around! Also, with every story that pushes the WW envelope and makes it into the magazine, I give a little cheer. Nice work.
I did not get to read this story, but I am also very surprised to hear the premise. I sent WW a story a few years ago in which the heroine and the hero meet when she sprains an ankle while running from him because he fits the description of a wanted burglar. I got back a comment saying it was too scary for WW. This story sounds much scarier.
Post a Comment