Tagline: Rachel had nerves of steel...until she met Kelly!
Observations: This was a refreshing premise I've not seen before. It was totally believable that a grown man from New York City would need driving lessons. I liked how the story spanned six weeks, however, I was still somewhat surprised when he leaned over and actually kissed her. It seemed a little out of the blue to me, but it wasn't enough to sour me on the story. I liked it a lot.One other thing to point out is the use of the sexually ambiguous name to create a brief misunderstanding. This is another tool you have in your Woman's World Toolbox. The misunderstanding is a trope we see often in WW stories. They never last long, but they're handy. Usually the main character jumps to a conclusion, like in this story, about the sex of someone, or that the love interest has a significant other. It's good to know about all these tropes so you can mix and match and hopefully come up with something new and refreshing.
10 comments:
I agree, Kate. I loved this story and it answers the question, yes you can use a big city as long as the story works for the setting and you do it well. Loved the unique premise and totally fell into the story. Great job, Betsi.
Kate, why have you stopped putting in the issue date. By the time I read your analysis in the blog, I am not sure where to look for the story.
Whoops. I just made a mistake, Mary Jo. I'll go in and add the dates.
I thought this was a very cute and original story (although the kiss did throw me too!) I also wasn't expecting Kelly to be an adult male (a teenage girl was my guess!) I liked the premise, and the fact that it was unique. :) Nice job, Ms. Palmer! :)
Maria :)
I thought it was a cute story. Definitely a different theme and setting than we have had before. The ambiguous name might be familiar. I have tried to use that in a story. It works well.
Yes, Sandy, the ambiguous name is a good tool. I'm going to go back and put that in my post. Thanks for reminding me!
Loved this story! Betsi can always be counted on to write believable, cute characters with a sweet storyline. I always enjoy her romances, and I loved the kiss! It's fun to see a sexy, strong male character in these pages.
I love to see a new story line being used in WW. I just hope the new and different will be a trend set by Patricia.
I do have a few points to make about this story now that I have gone back to read it again. Rachel had SPENT THE DAY sitting in a car, right? She then went to her yoga class. And LATER THAT DAY...she was contacted by Kelly. Must have been a very long day.
Again we have the HANDSOME man. Is there any other kind? Well, not in a WW romance. The saving grace was that he had a "crooked smile".
The first lesson for a novice driver is in the mall parking lot on a Saturday? Fine, if you want to get killed. If it can be arranged, use a church parking lot on a Saturday. No one there.
I don't know about other states, but in California a driver brings a car to use for taking a driving test. Since Rachel was waiting for Kelly to complete his test, and he returned to the car, what did he drive?
And about that kiss. If that was their first kiss, it left a lot to be desired. It didn't seem to have much affect on Rachel either.
Yes, I know there are only 800 words to work with in a WW Romance, but that is why we have to be so conscientious about using them to illuminate the story and create a reasonable scenario. This is the partnership between the writer and the editor.
The editors have the great responsibility of putting out a print magazine every week, so the writers will always want to offer stories that support the work.
Okay, just my opinion.
It's interesting that Ms. Palmer covers six weeks in time, and most of it occurs in the last column. I liked the way she expressed Rachel's attraction to him, as in, "hard to concentrate as he sat only inches away". Really cute.
I liked this story too. It seemed fresh and new for Woman's World and was fun to read.
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