Tagline: Emma was unsure about her niece's matchmaking abilities...until she met Jeff!Woman's World Tropes: matchmaker, shelter dog, male teacher
Observations: This was a pleasant story, but nothing really stood out to me.
Here's a very minor tip...
O'Brien named Abby's parents Zach and Liz. In my opinion, it wasn't necessary. You name characters because they're important and/or will be appearing enough that it would be awkward (or annoying as to the writer) to not name them. In this case, they're mentioned one more time and could have been referred to as Abby's parents.
This detail/teaching point that isn't anything earth-shattering, but readers are trained to remember characters that have been named and in a story this short, eliminating extraneous names might make the story feel cleaner and more streamlined.
Photo credit: Tim Pierce via Flickr Creative Commons License
10 comments:
I did a double-take when Emma so quickly extended the invitation to Jeff to sled with her and her niece. I might have expected the niece to ask him to join them to further her matchmaking, not Emma herself.
Hi, I'm the writer of this story. And darn, I wish I had thought of that! :) I read your comment and shook my head at myself. Abby extending the invitation would have worked better.
Kate--thanks for running this blog. It is helpful, and I appreciate the time you put into it.
I also wanted to give some words of encouragement to anyone who's trying to get published in Woman's World but hasn't succeeded yet. I was rejected a dozen times, I believe, before finally making a sale in 2014 (hopefully, I'm not embarrassing myself by revealing that.) Just keep trying! :)
Yes, Terry, don't be embarrassed. I've had many more rejections than successes. The competition for these stories is pretty big.
Great story, Terry. I loved it.
Thanks, Pat & Tamara! :)
Terry, congratulations on the sale! In the long run it doesn't matter what *I* think. It's what the editors think. :)
I like this story. Perfect for the season with the New Year and Christmas references. I got a good feel for who Jeff was by the descriptions of his house and little shelter dog. I like him.
Thanks, Kate & Shyra! :)
Hi Terry, (anon), and congratulations on the acceptance. I am one of those who is still waiting for a yes from WW but it's not the only market (although admittedly one of the best paying ones). I hope with all those rejected stories you reworked them and tried them somewhere else. There are English language mags all over the place - here in the UK obviously (Woman's Weekly, Fiction Feast, People's Friend, My Weekly, etc), but also in Australia (Fast Fiction and that's life) and S. Africa (You). All markets definitely worth considering.
I really thought this story was CUTE, cute, cute!
Thanks Chris for the list of alternate markets.
Good luck and God's blessings
PamT
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