Easter Wishes

by Kara Nicholas from the April 22, 2019 issue

Tagline: After 15 years of dreaming of her high school crush, Daniel, Emily fears she'll never find love. But when an Easter festival brings the two old friends back together again, she finds new hope for the future...and maybe even for love

Observations: I really liked this story, but then, I'm a sucker for old flame stories. This one made me smile a lot. Here are the high points for me.

"I'm sure you hear a lot with those ears." - OMG. So funny.

The little girl's dress was tangled up in knots. So was Emily, in a different way.

I wish to continue our conversation over dinner tonight. I promise not to wear the ears.

Also, you know that phrase, "show, don't tell?" That advice is a little misleading because sometimes you want to show and sometimes you'll want to tell. In Woman's World stories, often those transitions in which time passes, are an excellent place to tell. This story had a good example of that.

As the party began and the children tore into their eggs with glee, Emily couldn't help but feel disappointed. And later as she ushered her niece back to the car, opening the door to climb in, she heaved a long sigh.

Just like that, we've sped past the entire party and gotten back to the part that is of most interest--Emily and Daniel. She's also made this small paragraph the "black moment," during which Emily (and the reader) think that all is lost. Making things work double-duty is always a good idea in a Woman's World story.

Photo by Mark Mitchell (via Flickr cc license)

Love in Bloom

by Alyssa Symon from the April 15, 2019 issue

Tagline: After heartbreak leaves Angelica wondering if she's destined to be alone, she looks for solace in her community garden. But when her old flame shows up, she must decide if she can put aside the past and plant the seed for a brighter future.

Observations: It's been a while since we saw a "couple on the rocks" story and I thought Symon did a good job. I mean, who among us wouldn't love for an ex to realize he'd made a horrible mistake when he broke up with us?

I thought the backstory about her mom was poignant and the ending was lovely. I do wonder why, if he planned to help her in the garden, why he wore such nice clothes. LOL

Photo by: Poppet with a camera (via Flickr cc license)

Darling Patrick

by Le Ann Dowd from the April 8, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her dear friend Libby passes away, Jamie fears her new neighbor won't carry on her lovely sidewalk library. But when Libby's nephew, Patrick comes along, Jamie finds hope for the library's future...and maybe even for love

Observations: I'm going to do a stream of consciousness analysis this week. I have new book coming out next week and am crunched for time.

I LOVE the idea of sidewalk libraries. I have toyed with the idea of making one myself. (See below for a link to a comprehensive website about this phenomenon.) So to pair this with the idea that her best friend's library might go neglected--immediate heartstring tug.

His hair was thick and dark, his eyes coffee brown with a hint of stubbornness in them--exactly as Libby had described him.

Wait, I thought Libby was gone. Oh, there we go. It's her nephew, so Libby told Jamie about him before she passed.

The faint, woodsy scent of his aftershave conjured images of cozy evenings by a fire.

Love this construct of a scent conjuring images. It doesn't have to be a scent. It could be the sight of some nice biceps, or the sound of deep male laughter. Must use this myself. LOL

OMG. Jane Austen's Emma. I love that book. I loved the movie.

Okay, after the part where Jamie opens the novel, I sped through reading the rest of the story without stopping to think about anything analytical, which is a great thing. It means my editing brain turned off and I could just enjoy the tale. I'll have to go back and point out all the good stuff.

--That the book echoes Libby's own matchmaking attempts
--The repeated, humorous use of "Darling Patrick" and "my neighbor Jamie."
--The reveal of Libby's dastardly plan using the book to get them together.
--This sentence: "Patrick's laugh twined around mine, warming the space between us." LOVE
--The two of them connecting quietly over the pain of divorce.
--The big surprise at the end that he's not selling the house after all.

I absolutely adored this story.

Little Free Library info: https://littlefreelibrary.org/
Photo by Rick Obst (Flickr CC license)

Service Call

by Heather Black from the April 1, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her divorce, Jennifer Campbell moved to a new town looking for a fresh start. And when she came across hunky neighborhood repairman Justin Roe, all it took was a broken furnace to ignite new hope in her heart.

Observations: I liked probably 85% of this story. In fact, I totally laughed when Justin said he'd be at her house within an hour to fix her furnace because when has a repairman ever said that in real life??? LOL However, near the end I hit a couple of speed bumps and then I had a problem with the ending as well.

Please remember what I say here is only my opinion and does not mean this isn't a good or well-written story. It just means I'm a nit-picky, opinionated person. Obviously, the editorial staff liked it enough to publish.

The first thing I wanted to point out is a "mistake" I often see in Woman's World stories that I've edited for people--failing to leverage an emotional moment for maximum impact. Here, it's that moment when Justin asks if she'd like to take a ride together on Saturday. Throughout the whole story, Jennifer has been riding past his house for a month and mooning over him, wanting something to happen. When it finally does, this is what we get:

"I'd like that,[sic]" Jennifer smiled as Justin hefted his toolbox to leave.

If this had been my story, I'd have added 2 or 3 sentences to expand on this moment to talk about her reaction to finally having gotten his attention and realizing that the attraction was mutual. (The author may have made the choice to be sparse here because of the way the story ended. More on that in a moment.)

Then, after having been pretty deep in Jennifer's POV, we change to Justin's for one paragraph. This was particularly jolting. I liked the information--it gave us a bit of interesting info about Justin. He's a fast thinker. LOL And he likes Jennifer enough to buy a bike so he can spend time with her. However, after that one sentence in Justin's POV, we return to Jennifer's.

As a writer, I would have given a lot of thought to whether the information we get in Justin's POV is worth making the reader switch points of view twice. In my opinion, it was not.

And then, we find out that Jennifer sabotaged her own furnace to contrive a reason to call Justin.

For some reason--perhaps an overly sensitive conscience--I didn't like this sneaky behavior. It's weird, though, because when other characters, like matchmakers, best friends, or co-workers, are sneaky on the protagonists' behalf, I'm fine with it. But this made me not like Jennifer as much as I had before. Then, when I re-read the story, it occurred to me that Justin lied too, when he said "I also happen to love bike riding." While that white lie didn't bother me at all on the first reading, it did stand out more upon the second.

I'm absolutely certain that great numbers of people (including the editors) will not have this reaction to the story. (It also appeared in the April 1 issue, so maybe it was a slight nod to April Fool's Day?) So, as always, take this with a grain of salt. I think it comes down to personal preference.

Photo credit: (nutmeg) via Flickr CC license