by Elizabeth Palmer from the May 13, 2019 issueTagline: Tracy's convinced she'll never find love...until her boss, Wanda, works her motherly magic!
Observations: This story featured a couple of Woman's World tropes--the matchmaker and the mistaken identity--and did them well. If you're a regular reader of the 5-minute romances, you will probably have had an aha! moment like I did when you read this:
A few months ago, I'd helped her set up a profile on a dating website and she'd recently announced that she'd found "the one," promising me I'd finally get to meet him tonight.
I immediately assumed "the one" was for Tracy and not for Wanda and that this was a matchmaker story. I was so wrong! And I love that. I've been reading these stories faithfully for so long that it's very hard to surprise me, and Palmer totally did. The mistaken identity trope showed up when Tracy supposed the handsome stranger to be a con man and her treatment of him when she meets him later in person is hilarious.
I liked how his hand brushed hers and that he didn't take it into his. If you see two people above the age of 13 holding hands in public, it signals that they're a couple, right? To me, the person initiating the act signals that he or she wants to be more than just friends. The person who allows it confirms that they share the same feeling.
So, my personal preference in romance writing is to view holding hands as a milestone. It's a very soft and subtle, but significant, milestone, but a milestone just the same. A certain amount of time must pass and a rapport must be established before a couple holds hands. Crossing this delicate line shows that the relationship is moving forward.
This was another great story from one of the most prolific Woman's World romance writers.
Photo credit: Liz West (Flickr cc license)
15 comments:
Loved Betsi's story. Agree about the surprise. Nice twist.
I didn't noticed the two 'breatheds' because WW's punctuation on these tags drives me crazy. But now that you pointed it out, it does seem weird to use it especially with the mother. Nice catch.
Very nice effort at educating people, Kate, but it seems there are those with such a fondness for words like surging, breathed, flashing, glistening, glittering, smiling dialogue, electric touching, spinal shivers, rippling muscles, etc., they have to load up these stories with what is supposed to pass for, as Alex says, chemistry. Here is a word that I wish all contributors to the WW romance page would consider, subtlety. Honestly, suggestion is much more powerful than the blatant obvious. I think most successful fiction writers are aware of this. I would hate to see the Woman's World romances fall into the category of cheap "pulp fiction." Faithful readers deserve better than that.
This is really unfair to the author as we never know what the original story is. This is a public forum and the internet is forever. Be kind. These are your peers.
All very well, Tina, but the reader can only judge by what appears on the published page. The writer's byline assumes responsibility for the story. Perhaps the byline should be eliminated?
I disagree about the byline. Mary Jo, you've had a story published by WW. You know that once you sign the contract, you release all control over it. None of us, save the author and editors, know what was original material and what the changes were. If you were saying that the average reader will assume the story appears as written by the author, I would agree with that. Your average reader doesn't know the ins and outs of the publishing business.
Yes, Kate, that's exactly what I'm saying. These stories are not written for other writers, they are written for the enjoyment of the reading public. If my name is on a story, of course the reader assumes that is what I wrote. Naturally, they will hold me responsible for what appears on the page. For better or worse. Of course, it is a great editor who makes the writer look good.
The average reader doesn’t care about ly verbs and dialogue tags. The average reader wants a Calgon moment and that’s what they are getting. The average reader is not as discriminating as you are. You, Mary Jo, anonymous and, Kate, are not the average reader. :)
And once the story is published should we concern ourselves with worrying about it? Let the author have her moment of glory. We probably should spend our time writing, right?
Normally, I wouldn’t comment but I find it disheartening to not support each other and a waste of time to spoil an author’s success.
And by the way, I appreciate that we can agree to disagree.
I enjoyed this story. Well done, Betsi!
Here, here. Congratulations, Betsi! Well done!
Thank you, ladies! Number 32, with 33 coming at the end of June, so I must be doing something right. The editors like them enough to buy them, and what they do after that isn’t my business (although in a perfect world nobody would say negative things about them afterwards). My daughter told me yesterday that her mother-in-law asked her to pass on to me how much she enjoyed it. And that she enjoys them all, because they’re “happy and uplifting.” SHE is an average reader.
Wow, Betsi, that must be a record! Congratulations. And yes, your stories are always some of the best.
Wow, Betsi, 33 stories. Amazing. So happy for you. You always give the readers a great story.
33 stories! Congratulations! I enjoyed this one and, like Kate, was expecting 'the one' to be someone Wanda had found for Tracy. I was happily surprised about how it turned out.
Tina, I'm not sure your first comment was directed at me. I don't think it was. I'm going to respond to your second comment.
I completely understand and agree with your view on the average reader. It's almost impossible for me to read fiction these days without my analytical brain doing its thing. I really miss the days when I could just enjoy a story/novel and not be thinking about characterization, word choice, plot, etc. It DOES happen, and I even say so here on the blog. Sometimes the story is so engaging that I completely forget that I'm supposed to be reading with a critical eye.
However, the purpose of my blog is to shine a light on teaching moments, positive and negative. Believe me, it's really really difficult. The more critical posts are the most challenging to write because I know that the author might read them and I never know how sensitive they are.
It is never my intention to rain on the parade of any author or to take anything away from their accomplishment. I originally established this blog, mainly to teach myself what worked in a WW story and what didn't. Over the past ten years it's evolved. People have told me that it's helped them and that makes it all worthwhile.
So bottom line--and this might sound like a cop out--I have no control over whether an author reads what I write here or not. It's like Goodreads. Some avoid it because the readers there can be brutal. I am fairly confident I've never been brutal here. I strive to be tactful but direct. But sometimes even the slightest criticism can feel like an attack. So, I feel it's up to each author to make the choice of whether to read or not to read reviews of their work.
Betsi, I want to go on record here and say that I aspire to be you. Your record and your stores are a shining example to us all.
Post a Comment