A Behind The Scenes Look at Editing

Shelley Cooper graciously allowed me to show you her original story and the editing that Woman's World did so you can get an idea of what kinds of things they do to an author's raw story. Blue indicates a change from the original. I hope you find this informative! 

THE FRIENDLY SKIES  FINDING LOVE AT 30,000 FEET

 

            “You’re boycotting men?” my sister asked, her brow furrowed as we stood on the airport curb outside the departures area gate.

            I nodded, feeling vindicated as I assured her that, yes, it was true. Truth was, a After a string of recent dating disasters, I was more tempted to enter escape to a nunnery than I was to go on one more dinner date.. And because I knew she’d react this way poorly to the news, I’d waited to tell her until the end of my visit was over.

            “As of a week ago,” I replied.

            “Don’t you think that’s a bit...drastic?”

            I couldn't help but smile. “Says the lucky woman who married the last good man.”

            She gave me a fierce hug. “Oh, Elise, text me the minute your plane lands. And don’t be discouraged give up. There are still a lot of good men out there. A--all you have to do is read look for the signs.!”

            "Sure, I said noncommittally, waving as I followed the crowd inside. In truth, The the only signs I planned on reading looking for were the overhead ones pointing the way through the airport to my gate. With a wave, I followed the crowd inside.

            Then I saw him for the first time. The first time I saw him, he He stood a few feet ahead of me in the TSA line. It wasn’t his blue eyes, or the impossibly long lashes framing them, or even the empty ringless ring finger on his left hand that caught my eye. —I’m a professional blogger; I notice details—that caught my attention. It was the way he smiled at a little boy while returning the toy car he’d dropped.

            That smile boldly stole the oxygen from my lungs.: It was downright criminal. Heaven help me if he ever unleashed it on me. Not that we would ever cross paths after today at all. We were just strangers in an airport.

            The second time I saw him was at my boarding gate, where he was deep in conversation with an elderly woman. Something she said must have struck his funny bone, because he gave such a joyous, infectious laugh that more than one head turned toward the sound.  My heart fluttered as I watched him clutch her hand in his, his eyes twinkling as he looked up. Heat rushed to my face as his eyes met mine, and I hastily turned away. Moments later, the sound of his infectious laugh turned more than one head…including mine.

            The third time I saw him, he was sitting—you guessed it—in the window seat of my assigned row. This time, he aimed his smile at me, and it was even more devastating than I’d feared. Weak-kneed, I quickly deposited my suitcase put my bag into the overhead bin and dropped onto the slid into my aisle seat. Reminding myself of my boycott, I buried my nose in a book.

            A minute Moments later, a flight attendant stopped by my side appeared at my side with a little girl.

            “Here you go, Ashley,” she told her a little girl who didn’t look more than six. “You have the middle seat. If you need anything, you push that button up there, and I’ll come right away.”

            “My name is Dan,” my seatmate said, smiling at Ashely as she as, after stowing a pink polka dot backpack beneath the seat in front of her, Ashley expertly fastened her seatbelt. “And the lovely lady next to you is…” He looked at me expectantly.

            “Elise,” I supplied.

            “Elise.” He drew out my name in a way that had my pulse racing.

To Ashley, he said, “You’re very brave, travelling to travel all alone.”

            She shrugged shyly. “I do it all the time. Mommy and me live in Pittsburgh, and Daddy lives in Philadelphia. I spend most weekends with Daddy.”

            A sad sign of the times, I reflected, --and further proof that my boycott was a good, albeit lonely, decision.

            Then, before I knew what was happening, Dan and Ashley were changing seats so that she could enjoy the view. Up close and personal, he smelled divine. L, like soap and, incredibly, oatmeal cookies. I reburied my nose in my book and tried not to inhale.

            “Can we play makeover?” Ashley asked when the plane reached cruising altitude. “It’s my favorite game.”

            “I’d love to play makeover,” Dan replied, sounding sincere. “What about you, Elise?” he asked me his eyes meeting mine. “Would you like to play?”

            Ashley gazed at me so hopefully, I didn’t have the heart to say no to him--or Ashley. "Sure." I smiled at him, biting my lip. “Sounds like fun.”

            We landed an hour later, and Dan and I followed the little girl up the jetway, where she was  and watched her safely reunited with her mother.

            “Thank you for being You were so patient with her,” I softly remarked to Dan. told him.

            “We did a good thing,” he said. Then, after a slight pause, he asked, "Patient?" he said, fluttering his mascaraed lashes at me. "I was having a spa day in there!" He smiled. “Are you from Pittsburgh, Elise?”

            “Born and bred.”

“Me, too. Anyone special awaiting your arrival?”

            “Just my car in the long-term parking lot.”

            There was that smile again. “In "Oh...well, in that case, would you have dinner with me?”

            As he stood there, seemingly unconcerned with the makeup covering his sinfully handsome face—Ashley hadn’t been sparing in her application of blue eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick—I recalled my sister’s parting words. If I was reading the signs right, and I was pretty certain I was, Dan definitely fell into the category of good man...and suddenly I was ready to try one more dinner.

            Boycott abandoned, I said, “I’d like that very much. But first, I think we should both wash off our makeover.”

I was in the Ladies’ Room when I received a text from my sister. U home? Good flight?

            Fingers flying rapidly over the keys, I texted my reply. Best flight ever.