Writing Better: Overwriting

I believe it's easier to improve as a writer if you know what you're doing wrong. One of the most common mistakes made by amateur (and even some professional) writers is to overwrite. Overwriting is like overacting but with words. 

Here's a reverse-engineered example of overwriting from a story I recently submitted about a man who is planning to pop the question. (Cross your fingers for me!)

Overwritten

Being well prepared helped with the nerves that battered his body but didn't eradicate them completely because what if...what if Allie gave him the one answer that would tear his heart into a million miserable pieces? 

Toned down

Being well prepared helped with the nerves but didn't banish them entirely because what if...what if the unthinkable happened and she said no?

See the difference? Doesn't it feel like the first example is just trying too hard? Resist the temptation to make your writing "better" by amping up your adjectives and verbs, adding too many adverbs or even just overdoing the emotions appropriate for the situation or character. 

And read this article. It's truly excellent.

https://kidlit.com/two-signs-of-overwriting-and-why-its-a-problem/

Photo by Raw Pixel Ltd via Flickr Creative Commons License

Cupid's Arrow

by Rochelle Banks from the March 8, 2021 issue 

Tagline: After his dog escapes, Eric Johnson runs into a woman trying to "steal" the pup and take him home...but ends up stealing Eric's heart instead.

Observations: I really enjoyed the humor in this story and the original premise. I've seen plenty of mix-ups in Woman's World stories, but they usually involve humans, not dogs! I also liked Eric. He was so earnest and when he panicked because their conversation was ending, it was adorable.

I laughed out loud at the name of the Humane Society's big event: the Fur Ball. 

Lots of fun.

Photo by Craig Richards via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Blizzard to Remember

by Marcie McEachern from the March 1, 2021 issue

Tagline: In the midst of a late-season blizzard and power outage, Anita lights a fire to share with her new neighbor, Calvin...and sparks of love begin to fly.

Observations: I thought I'd do another stream-of-consciousness post with this story. This is where I just type my thoughts as I read.

I love chili on wintery days. And corn bread too! With honey butter.  Honey butter is mandatory. I like how Anita thinks--slow cookers are fantastic for things like chili.

Oh, I might have tried to cook the cornbread in the fireplace. I toured an old cotton plantation once and learned that you can bake stuff like cookies and cake in Dutch ovens in a fireplace.

Calvin was obviously no Boy Scout, seeing as how he was completely unprepared for a power outage. LOL

Hmm, I'm going to assume Anita didn't have Calvin's phone number. 

I love Scrabble!

Oh, he spells D-A-T-E. Very clever!

Great story.

Photo by Nathan Borror via Flickr Creative Commons License