The Sweetest Love of All

 by Marcella Robinson from the September 13, 2021 issue

Tagline: After swooning over ice-cream stand owner Rich all summer, Ellie is sure it will come to nothing...until one fateful cone changes everything.

Observations: In my class, How to Write and Sell Romance to Woman's World Magazine, I give you a bunch of ideas on how to keep your story to 800 words. One of those ideas is to keep physical description of characters to a minimum, but this story had an unusual amount of description--of Ellie, of Rich and of the park itself. (I enjoyed reading those details and the lovely feelings the park description evoked.)

You never want to sacrifice character interaction/connection for the sake of character physical description. It's much more important to show your characters talking, laughing, sharing ice cream, sharing stories, etc. than it is to tell the reader they both have brown hair. However, I didn't see any sacrifices made in this story. There is still plenty of on-the-page interaction. We see them connecting in so many ways...

• the smiles exchanged
• the inside joke about him eating his profits
• the date they make to meet in a week
• his thoughtful observation that she liked sprinkles
• their conversation about their respective businesses
• finally, their hands touching

This last thing--Ellie putting her hand in his--let's look at this more closely. There are 11 stages of physical intimacy. Stage four is hand to hand/arm. Four! (Stage 1 - Eye to body, Stage 2 - Eye to eye, Stage 3 - Voice to voice.) In this excellent article on the subject, they say:

The first three stages could happen quickly, but you don’t want to immediately rush into touching a stranger’s arm, or hand.

You’ll need to continue the conversation, take the time to get to know each other and build up your connection and friendship before you start touching.

Rushing through the steps of physical intimacy can be creepy--in real life and in fiction. Make sure your characters have conversed, gotten to know each other and built up their connection and friendship before they start touching. I'm not talking about catching someone to prevent them from falling, accidentally reaching for the same head of lettuce and that type of thing. I'm talking about intentional touching. Don't rush it or you risk making the reader (or editor) feel uncomfortable.

Photo by Elsie Hui via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love on Labor Day

by Mishael Austin Witty from the September 6, 2021 issue

Tagline: When a dashing captain saves the day at her company's holiday boat party, Becca finds that a new chance at love is on the horizon.

Observations: This was a classic misunderstanding story--Becca meets the captain of the boat and has no idea he's actually the owner of the company she works for. 

Notice how Jack intervened when Becca's little boy was getting out of hand. It's critical to show the hero and heroine connecting somehow, and if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then the way to a woman's heart just might be through her child. LOL 

Overall, cute story, but here comes a purely personal opinion that you are more than welcome to disagree with. In the past few years, sexual harassment has been prevalent in the news, so I might refrain from a boss/employee story just because of that. No doubt, real life boss and employee relationships can turn out to be happily-ever-after ones, and no doubt Woman's World readers (and the editors, for that matter) are well aware that dating your boss might not be the wisest idea. But even so, I would steer clear of this kind of story, especially if you're a new writer who hasn't sold to them yet. You might have better odds choosing a plot that isn't (potentially) controversial. :)

Photo by BluEyedA73 via Flickr Creative Commons License

Hand-painted Romance

by Wendel Potter from the August 30, 2021 issue

Tagline: As a recent widow, Desi finds her only solace painting pottery for her store...until handsome Sam arrives to fill her world with the color of love.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: For those of you who are new to my blog, sometimes instead of reading and then analyzing the story, I just type my reactions to the story as I read. To be honest, I often do this when I have several stories sitting in a pile and need to catch up. LOL However, never fear. I will still point out teaching moments if I find them.

• Hmm. I'm wondering what kind of store this is.
• Nice description of the setting.
• Desi has a dog. A dog can be a handy secondary character the hero/heroine can talk to, instead of talking to themselves. 
• Oh, it's a summer-only store that her late husband gifted her. That's so sweet. However, I'm assuming she threw the pots herself, as well as painted them, but it's a little unclear. 
• So, she's painting some extremely detailed scenes on her wares. It's not the type of pottery I was imagining. Maybe she's doing porcelain type pottery not regular clay.
• Desi is short for Desiree. That makes sense. All this time I was thinking Desi as in Desi Arnaz of I Love Lucy fame. LOL
• Aha! A coincidence. He just happens to be an air conditioner repairman and she is having problems with her A/C. The coincidence is a time-honored device in Woman's World stories.
• Nice...they barter the plate for the thermostat. I think bartering is something that should be brought back. It would certainly provide a little savings come tax time!

Photo by Francisco Anzola via Flickr Creative Commons License

Crazy "Fore" You

by Marcella Robinson from the August 16, 2021 issue

Tagline: When a rogue golf ball whizzes past his head on the course, Ben is glad for the near miss...and the surprising new shot at love it brings into his life.

Observations: I thought the humor in this story was adorable and it reminded me of an aspect of humor you should keep in mind. I'm talking about inside jokes.

Inside jokes are a two-edged sword. When people use them and don't let other people in on the joke, it can be hurtful. But on the other hand, it's an excellent way to instantly connect with other people, even if you've only known them a couple of minutes.  

In this story, the inside joke was that Olivia had no control over her golf balls when executing a full swing and luckily missed the hero, but hit a tree instead. They laugh about her being a danger to trees a couple of times. The joke is a welcome addition to the story, not only for its entertainment value, but as a way to show the characters connecting. Lack of connection between the hero and heroine is one of the top three reasons editors reject a story and the inside joke is a great tool to have in your connection toolbox.

Photo by Wojciech Kulicki via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Welcome Change

 by Crystal Moore from the August 23, 2021 issue

Tagline: Sharing her home with guests to make some money, Nora is unsure of herself...until handsome singleton Dean comes to stay.

Observations: I always appreciate seeing a story that features modern life and this one was refreshing with its inclusion of the booming industry of vacation rentals and the like. I thought it was a great idea to add that the story of a widow coming to terms with her life after her husband had gone and admitting vacationing guests into her own home. This is a great way to come up with a story idea--think of a tried and true trope and add your own twist to it, or just taking two tropes and putting them together.

For instance, here's a list of fifteen random tropes. Pick two for a mash-up and see if you can think of a story that includes them both.

Library

Nursery (the gardening kind)

Candy shop

Cultural festival

Frozen pond

Mechanic

Grocery store clerk

Single parent

Teacher

Birdwatcher

A puppy

An heirloom

Homemade pie

Blizzard

Family reunion

I choose birdwatcher and library. Maybe someone is new to the neighborhood and puts up a bird feeder that becomes very popular. He or she wants to know what kind of birds are visiting and he goes to the library to find a book on local species. Or maybe I ditch the library. Maybe the person at the store where he/she bought the feeder suggests he/she join the local birdwatching club. Maybe he/she is younger and expects all the club members will be senior citizens, but is pleasantly surprised and meets someone her own age and with many of the same interests.

What if I choose the puppy and the heirloom? Maybe a woman is walking her dog in the park and her dog gets into a scuffle with another dog. No one is harmed, but she realizes her priceless charm bracelet has fallen off her wrist. The owner of the other dog says his grandfather owns a metal detector. Voila. They find the bracelet and love. 

See how it works? Just let your mind wander.

Photo by Elizabeth Backus via Flickr Creative Commons License