by Beth Pugh from the November 29, 2021 issue
Tagline: Needing the secret add-in to his late wife's famous potato salad, Frank feels both out of luck and lonely...until Ivy shows up with a cure for both.
Observations: This story is a good example of showing a character growing and changing. Frank starts out missing his wife, but gradually, we see him decide it's time to move on with his life. I'll break it down for you.
How Pugh showed him missing her:
1. "Glancing at the wedding picture above the light switch, Frank shook his head. Sarah's death had broken his heart two years ago. He missed her so."
2. He wears his wife's apron.
How Pugh shows him making the change:
1. Frank notices Ivy's eyes, tan skin and chestnut hair.
2. He makes Ivy blush and finds that satisfying after having not affected a woman that way in so long.
3. His heart rate increases as he notes her perfume.
4. "...her sweet smile sending his pulse soaring."
How Pugh shows he's completed his arc:
1. "Taking a chance, Frank turned to Ivy, his confidence bolstered by her warm gaze. 'What about you? Would you like to share a sandwich?'"
2. "A date? His breath caught at the levity of those words. Was he ready? Maybe, maybe not. But it was time to try. Sarah would have wanted it that way."
3. There's the ubiquitous tingly physical contact.
4. "After walking the ladies home, Frank returned to the kitchen, an extra pep in his step. As he savored the perfect potato salad, he felt thankful and full of hope."
So as you can see, even in a short 800-word story, you can show character growth.
I do have to admit I was a bit confused as to the timeline of this story. I started out thinking it was dusk on Thanksgiving day because Iris says, "Happy Thanksgiving, Frank," and "...he knew the grocery store had closed already. The shortened Thanksgiving hours guaranteed as much." But then later, he asks her to share that sandwich and Ivy says she and her niece are having a movie night. Maybe I was the only who was confused by this, but I do think this makes the case for having someone else read your story before you submit. Just one more pair of eyes on it can make a big difference.
Photo by Robert Judge via Flickr Creative Commons License
4 comments:
Thanks for pointing all this out, Kate. I noticed some of it, but you put it together so well. The writer sure put a lot of emotion in such a little word count.
Regarding the movie night, I took it that two ladies have movie night on Thanksgiving as opposed to all that football stuff. Probably because that is what I do rather than watch Thanksgiving football.
Hi, Pat. Perhaps they were having a movie night vs. football, that's definitely a possibility, but I'll maintain that if that was the case, it should have been clarified. :)
Sometimes it is hard to tell - authors may spell it out, but those 800-word stories get edited down to around 650, so sometimes things get edited out or changed slightly. I enjoyed this sweet story - and love the pickles, since I add those to my potato, salad too.
This is a magazine that I am sure I got in the mail, but I apparently lost it, so I haven't been able to read the story. It sounds good, though.
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