Love at the Winter Fair

by Fallon Stone from the February 21, 2022 issue

Tagline: Abigail is in dire straits at the frigid winter festival she planned, until a handsome delivery truck driver arrives to heat things up.

Observations: I have stated in my class, How to Write and Sell Romance to Woman's World Magazine, that an excellent way to write short is to omit description. I mean, the priority is to tell a romantic story and if I'm given a choice between solidly establishing a connection between the characters and describing the park they're in or the heroine's outfit, I'll choose establishing the connection every time.

However, that's not to say that you shouldn't include description of the characters or the setting at all. This story proves that you can do both. Fallon does an excellent job setting the scene in the town square while at the same time and even though the hero and heroine didn't spend that much time together, you can feel the spark is there nonetheless. 

Photo by Maria Ziesche via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Mint Chip Affair

 

by Mary Ann Joyce from the January 31, 2022 issue

Tagline: An odd request brings strangers Bruce and Jolene out into the winter night for some ice cream...and into each other's hearts.

Observations: Admittedly, I'm a little hazy on the difference between the third-person omniscient POV and a story that switches between different character's third person limited POVs. I'm leaning more toward omniscient with this story, just because we are seeing the story unfold without really delving too deeply into any of the characters' minds. But please, feel free to correct me in the comments.

To be clear, this is not head-hopping. Head-hopping, I think, is third person omniscient done badly. This is not that. Third person omniscient is a legitimate, time-honored way of telling a story that just isn't as popular now as it used to be. In fact, when I read a fully third-person omniscient book, it feels old-fashioned and strange. 

Regardless, I felt no abruptness at the changes. Everything felt very smooth.

We start out with Bruce. We then switch to Mimi for one brief paragraph. Next, we're with Trudy, the friend, who gets her granddaughter involved by asking her to get some of the mint chip ice cream. We swiftly transition to the granddaughter, Jolene as she heads to the store. We then are with Bruce and Jolene at the store, and at the end, we see all four together. 

I've spent quite a while analyzing the transitions, trying to see if there are any tricks I can point out. And I really can't see anything in particular, which is why writing is an art, not a science. Let me know if you spot something in the comments.

On a side note, I adored the spy talk. So funny.

Photo credit: CeresB via Flickr Creative Commons License