by Mary Ann Joyce from the June 27, 2022 issue
Tagline: When her high school sweetheart makes a sudden reappearance at her friend's scavenger hunt, Carly's summer takes a magical turn.
Observations: Well, I seem to have skipped a couple of issues. LOL Sorry about that. I have a lot going on right now at my real life job and my personal life, plus I just got Covid. <sighs> Again. I had no symptoms the first time it got me. This time, I was not so lucky.
I thought this story was fun. I love the idea of having a friend who entertains on a regular basis, with themes! She sounds like a fun friend. It makes me wonder if this fictional friend subscribes to Woman's World, because she'd find all the party theme ideas she could ever want there. LOL
I wanted to point out something Joyce did that can help with word count. I've said in my class (click here for more info about it) that if your stories are running too long, one solution is to skimp on physical descriptions. Here, Joyce describes the hero this way:
When we were teens, he was as think as spaghetti, and just my type: cute, in that nerdy way with this black-framed glasses and short hair. Now he's more Clark Kent behind his specs.. He's filled out, his broad chest prominently on display in a blue polo.
Now, that's actually quite a bit of wordage, so maybe that's not the perfect example of brevity I was looking for, but my point--using a famous person as shorthand--will still work. When you identify a well-known person, like Clark Kent, readers will immediately have an image of that person in mind, which means you don't have to go into additional detail. In this example, Joyce does go into further detail, but she's a seasoned pro who has little trouble staying within 800 words.
Photo by Mark Anderson via Flickr Creative Commons License
2 comments:
Sorry you are ill. Hope you feel better soon.
This was a cute story, Kate. To add to your comments, I liked his description of himself as an east coast skinny kid that didn't fit in right away in California.
Yes, Mary Ann Joyce is really good a these WW romances which is why I look forward to them especially when I see her name.
Hope you feel better soon Kate and that you recover fully. I had covid back in April, after two boosters, and it wasn't too bad for me.
And thank you, Pat, for reading my stories and liking them! That makes me feel good!
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