by Lisa Weaver from the September 4, 2023 issue
Tagline: After her dashing date abandons her on Labor Day, Cassie is heartbroken...until a familiar figure shows up on the beach.
Observations: I had mixed feelings about this story. It's definitely well-written, as Lisa Weaver's stories tend to be. I liked the sandcastle competition--that's an event that I would love to go to, in person, someday. I wrote one into one of my novels, too.
However, at the end of the story when he proposes and she accepts, I didn't feel like it had been earned. I didn't quite believe that they'd made that strong of a connection. The reason why he disappeared was a solid one: his brother was in an accident and in his rush to get on a plane, he'd left his phone behind. These days, it's easy to believe that he did not have her phone number memorized so he could call from some other phone.
However, we only got a couple of paragraphs about how they met and got to know each other, and that wasn't enough for me to believe they were ready to get engaged. I love an engagement as much as the next gal, but this one didn't feel justified.
Photo by Goncalo Cruz Matos via Flickr Creative Commons License
3 comments:
Thanks Kate! This is such a nugget of wisdom, and great advice! As a writer, I tend to forget that though a story might play out in my head fully formed, it's critical that I bring that entire story picture to the page. I neglected to fill in some important blanks on this one. :)
Lisa, thank you for your comment. I really appreciate that you are able to accept my criticism. Not all writers are able to do this but professional writers must develop a thick skin. I look forward to more of your stories!
Kate, I think we have to agree to disagree on this one.
I fell hook, line, and sinker on their romance. I felt their loved was strong enough to survive this totally honest misunderstanding. Maybe I'm just a romantic at heart.
Post a Comment