Tagline: As Sarah relives painful memories of her breakup while replacing a beloved heirloom, an unexpected surprise changes everything.
Observations: Well, Ms. Cormany has been busy! We just critiqued a story of hers a couple of weeks ago. Good for her!
If a tea shop isn't the perfect setting for a Woman's World story, I don't know what is. It's got that old-timey, nostalgic, slice of Americana feel to it much like carnivals/county fairs, festivals, bakeries, florists, garage sales, parades, old folk's homes, antique shops, and bookstores. The list goes on and on. While these settings might feel cliche by now, they continue to sell, so don't necessarily shy away from them.
Being a die hard pragmatist, I immediately wondered how the man identified the china pattern from Sarah's vague description. There have to be hundreds of patterns out there. Sarah would have been better off snapping a picture, but it doesn't really matter. I'm probably the only person in the world who had this thought.
Still, you might want to keep in mind the age of your characters and, if they are considerably younger than you, really put yourself in their shoes as you craft your plot. (This is not to suggest that Ms. Cormany is of a certain age. I really don't know. I'm just bringing up a pet peeve of mine which is when authors use their own frames of reference for characters who are one, two or more generations apart from them.
Loved the twist at the end! It's so hard to write couple-in-trouble stories.
Photo by Selena N.B.H. via Flickr CC License
3 comments:
I thought it was fortunate he just happened to have that pattern in stock. I guess I figured she got lucky with the description as something he recognized. It was a great twist that I didn't see coming. I assumed the man in the store was the new love interest, especially how she described him in the beginning as tall and good looking.
Misdirection is a great tool!
I loved the twist in this story, and everything else about it. ❤️
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