Imagine That

by Kathleen E. Dunlap from the June 2, 2014 issue

Tagline: Karli was a hard worker, but she was also a dreamer--and when she met Tony, her flights of fancy took a romantic turn!

In a Nutshell: Karli owns a diner. Her oven breaks. The repairman is cute. He comes back later to sample her biscuits.

Observations: This is going to be a rough one. I didn't sleep well last night, but I've put off my analysis for too long already.

Let me start with what I liked. In the last third of the story was a part I really enjoyed. It's the moment when Karli realizes how attracted to Tony she is.

The diner was busy that night. As promised, Tony had repaired the oven by noon. When she paid him, their hands had touched. Remembering, she felt her face warm.

That was perfectly done. We want to see that the characters are attracted to one another.

I also liked the last line and how it ties in the title and Carli's Walter-Mitty-like daydreams.

On the other hand, many things pulled me out of the story.

1. I've watched way too many shows about restaurants so there were a few things that seemed off to me. For one, June the cook goes to the store for cinnamon. Restaurants do not get stuff from grocery stores. They have them delivered by suppliers. But let's say that they legitimately ran out unexpectedly before their order comes. Then I wonder what kind of business owner she is. If you see you're running low on something, you get more before you run out. I suspect this was all because the author didn't want June there when the repairman came, but I don't think it was necessary. She was making pies. She could have just stayed on task and let Karli deal with the repairman.

2. One of my pet peeves is using a word incorrectly.

As June whisked away, Karli poked her head inside the oven...

"Whisk" is a word that needs an object. It's like "planted." You wouldn't say, "As June planted." You need to mention what she's planting. At the very least, it should have said, "As June whisked herself away."

3. The next thing that confused me was how Karli knew his name was Tony. I'm assuming he was wearing a name tag, but that isn't mentioned in the story. The humor about his name is kind of cute, but if you're going to crack that type of joke, you need to work it. There should have been a little more about it than him saying his parents met in San Francisco. It should become an inside joke between them. Them and the readers, by the way.

Wow. Epiphany there about humor for me. I never realized that before. After all these years analyzing these stories, I love learning stuff!

So, to summarize: if you crack a little joke, don't miss out on the opportunity to make it an inside joke, between the hero and heroine and the reader, too. This will add humor--always a good thing in a Woman's World story--and create a connection between the reader and the characters.

4. Karli asks him to check the light on the stove hood. I'm pretty sure commercial stove tops aren't like those we have at home. I would bet money they don't have lights, only huge exhaust fans to suck up all the grease and smoke. So once again, I'm pulled out of the story by doubt. BUT, your average reader probably isn't as nitpicky as I am and they probably got more sleep.

5. Last thing that bothered me was a question I had near the end. Karli tells June she'll take out a basket of biscuits. First of all, June's the cook. She wouldn't be taking them out. But my real question was, did Karli know they were for Tony? It's not made clear and it's really important that we know.

If she did know he was there, then we learn something about her--that she's not afraid to go after what she wants. We may admire her for this. :) It helps us understand who Karli is as a person.

If she didn't know he was there, then it's a complete surprise and we want to see that surprise unfold into happiness when she sees him and realizes he came back, perhaps because he's interested.

So, see what I mean? Because we don't know the situation, we are cheated of feeling either. I'll be interested to find out what you all thought.

Image from Wikimedia Commons

How It Begins

by Tracie Rae Griffith from the  May 26, 2014 issue

Tagline: Jodi and Nick had noticed each other in their writing class, but it took a simple mix-up to get them together...

In a Nutshell: Jodi takes the wrong coat after writing class and is sitting in the cafe across the street. When the mix-up is figured out, the owner, a handsome dude, of course, brings her her coat and they have coffee.

Observations: This story resonated with me because I took an adult creative writing class way back when. Unfortunately, there were no cute guys in it and the teacher wasn't particularly good, but it was nice to read about two people who have the same dream to be published. I also love drinking double tall lattes, so Jodi and I have something else in common.

I recently was at a workshop on creating likable characters, and the presenter talked about the importance of making the heroine someone you'd want to be friends with. I think Jodi here fits that bill for me.

I haven't talked about feminine initiative in a while, so maybe this is a good time. Woman's World cherishes the traditional, but also embraces some of the more modern ideas, like women being pro-active when it comes to their love lives. Your best bet is to aim for having both.

For instance, Jodi buys him a latte, and jumps right in telling him she admires his blog. And yet, the hero, Nick, wasn't just a do-nothing bump on a log. He took the initiative at the end suggesting that they spend the next several hours together and that the night might be the beginning of something.

One other thing I wanted to point out is that both these characters have goals they're working toward. This is a quality that people admire, and so it makes them likable. I mean, haven't you ever watched a movie where none of the characters seem to be redeemable people? None of them are likable? I have, and I usually don't care for those types of movies. I don't like to spend time with mean, selfish, conniving, greedy and so on people, especially if I paid $10 to see them.

Photo credit: Broken Segue via Wikimedia Commons

Small-town Charm

by Rachel Carrera from the May 19, 2014 issue

Tagline: Cindy thought she would never adjust to small-town life--then she met someone special and changed her mind...

In a Nutshell: Cindy is offered a promotion in a small town. She visits the town to check it out. During her trip, she meets a guy who shows her how wonderful small-town life can be. Plus, he's cute!

Observations: This was a delightful story. We got a realistic situation/problem. The heroine can score a promotion, but she has to relocate to a small town.

We got a biased but open-minded heroine. She doesn't think she'll like the town, but is willing to check it out and see.

There's that small-town setting that Woman's World loves, even if only a small part of the story actually occurred in the town.

There's humor. I loved Evan's line--"Uh-oh. I'm not working fast enough for you?"

I especially liked the solution to the hotel problem. It was perfect and, for me, unexpected. OF COURSE, his sister and her husband own the hotel. It's a small town!!!

Usually, I like to see more interaction between the hero and heroine, but in this case, it was unnecessary.

Picture This

by Cynthia Acee from the May 5, 2014 issue

Tagline: Matt's sister tried to convince him that visualization would bring the perfect woman into his life. Matt didn't believe a word of it--or did he?

In a Nutshell: Matt finds a dog and takes it in for the night. The next morning the owner comes knocking at his door.

Observations: So much to like about this story. I liked the first person male POV. It's refreshing. We got to see Matt's open mind at work. The author showed him taking his sister's advice. We got to see what he thought of himself and that he had a nice healthy level of self-esteem. In my opinion, a lot of what was great about this story was the characterization.

I also enjoyed the humor.

"...you do want to meet someone, don't you?"

"Of course," I admitted.

"Then visualize, brother dear," she coaxed. "Visualize."

"But visualize what? The dog or the woman?"

Acee plotted well with the grocer being the middleman who put the owner and finder in touch with each other. And the ending? Superb. She came full circle to bring the visualization back in very neatly.

Photo credit: Janine via Wikimedia Commons

Aglow with Love

by Michelle Martin Dobbins from the May 12, 2014 issue

Tagline: Ann knew it was love that put the sparkle in her marriage...but she still missed the diamond she'd lost from her ring...

In a Nutshell: Ann lost the diamond in her engagement ring a while ago. Busy lives and a stretched budget have made it impossible to replace. Until now.

My apologies. I skipped an issue and went out of chronological order. Sorry!

Observations: Okay, I am going crazy! I read this and thought I've read this story before! The feeling was so strong, I went through the blog looking for my review of it. I couldn't find it, but if someone else remembers a story a while ago that had a couple going down to a lake for the romantic end of a story, please tell me!

Anyway, I thought this story was the perfect Woman's World mix of sentimentality and positive lifestyle. It's so common these days to see stories about divorce and unhappiness and well, people bitching, so it's nice to have Woman's World here to show examples of how to not succumb to that negativity. (On that note, have you looked at Closer? It's similar to other celebrity rags, but with positive stories, not dirt and scandal. I liked the issue I bought.)

In fact, let's do a comparison, just for fun.

WW: Ann gives a positive message to the bride-to-be in the opening scene.

"It's not about the sparkling diamond, it's about love--and you and Ted have plenty of that."

A Reality Show: A bride-to-be would most likely be criticizing the ring and comparing it to those of her friends and either finding it lacking or happy that it outshone theirs.

WW: We see Ann is reconciled with not having the diamond replaced. Her family comes first.

A Reality Show: The "star" of the show would probably be looking among all her other jewelry and wondering why she shouldn't just go to the jewelry store and upgrade her engagement ring herself.

WW: Ann is eager to go on the anniversary date.

A Reality Show: The woman might be "busy" doing something not really important and therefore is late to the anniversary dinner.

WW: The husband had worked for a long time to make his wife happy. Their love is reaffirmed.

A Reality Show: The ring would be flashier, but the marriage would not be fortified. The meaning of the gesture is lost when the recipient is gratitude-challenged and the giver is taken for granted.

Photo credit: Derek Ramsey via Wikimedia Commons

Harry Makes Some Magic

by Jenna Tousignant from the April 28, 2014 issue

Tagline: Rachael was too shy to tell Walker  how she felt about hi, so she let Harry Potter help her get the message across...

In a Nutshell: Rachael the librarian has a crush on a patron who is going through the Harry Potter series. She tucks a note inviting him to coffee inside the last volume.

Observations: I thought the premise of the story was cute. It reminded me of a co-worker who recently asked a guy out by giving him her phone number on the sleeve of his coffee drink. (Everyone in the store was on pins and needles wondering if he was going to call her. He did, but has a girlfriend. :( Alas.)

There wasn't a lot of interaction between the hero and heroine in the story and I missed that but am not sure if it's something that should have been there, considering the fact that at the end, they still haven't really had a date because the man hasn't read the note yet. It's all just hopeful, which I suppose is just fine. Woman's World is nothing if not cheerful and optimistic.

Although I suggest people have a dark moment in their stories, I wasn't sure the red herring sister was necessary. It didn't add anything to my enjoyment of the story. I think I would have preferred a little more conversation between Rachael and Walker. Maybe a discussion about which of the Potter books was the best, or which character was their favorite.

I'll be interested to hear what everyone else has to say.

Photo credit: Joe Mabel via Wikimedia Commons

An Accidental Meeting

by Nena Jover Kelty from the April 21, 2014 issue

Tagline: It looked as though young Danny's mishap would have happy consequences for his big brother and his pretty neighbor!

In a Nutshell: Big brother Eric comes home to visit. Little brother Danny breaks a windshield with his errant golf ball. The owner of the car almost threatens Danny's idyllic time with his big bro, but everything works out in the end because it's Woman's World!

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I love the interaction between the brothers. I didn't have a big brother, but if I could conjure one, Eric would be very much like him.

Oh, dear. I had a golf ball hit my rear windshield once. Big pain in the behind, but the culprit did come forward just like in the story, so that was good. :)

Okay, job interview...very clever and believable way of pushing the hero and heroine together after the initial meeting.

"Even a ten-year-old could see where this was going." -- Aww. I feel for the kid.

And perfect resolution. We see Eric holding onto his title of "good big brother." We see Danny not being a snotty brat. It's nice to see a kid being respectful and honest, even if the kid is fictional. We see Danny is okay with the three of them seeing the movie together and his logical and, again believable, reasoning.

Good solid story.

Photo credit: Derek Jensen via Wikimedia Commons

Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

by Mary Ann Joyce from the April 14, 2014 issue

Tagline: When Sophie broke up with her ex, she thought the music had gone out of her life. Then she met Aidan...

In a Nutshell: Sophie is getting over a break-up with a singer so she's not particularly up on singing herself anymore. Enter the man who works on the floor above hers. When she finds out he's going to karaoke, she can't resist.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I got halfway before I realized I hadn't stopped to make any comments. LOL Going back to rethink.

Although I personally hate going to listen to karaoke because bad singing makes me want to crawl into a hole and not come out, I think the idea of karaoke in a Woman's World story is cute.

I like the progression of Sophie's attraction toward Aidan and how we see the tiny little scenes.

LOL at what his mom used to say to him in church.

Okay. Done. LOVED IT. The character arc of Sophie, going from dejected, "washed up" singer, to a woman with optimism who sings with a new guy.

There's a reason why Johnene keeps buying Joyce's stories.

Photo credit: Treyhatfield via Wikimedia Commons

Second Chance at Love

by Tina Radcliffe from the March 31, 2014 issue

Tagline: Who knew a worried mother's rush to the emergency room would lead to romance? (Um, I did. LOL)

In a Nutshell: When Emily's daughter visits the emergency room with a "superficial laceration," Emily notices the handsome doctor. An affinity for beagles is agreed upon, then lo and behold, they meet again at the dog park.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Risky business to have the daughter be born after the dad died, but Radcliffe managed it without turning off the editors or getting too sappy in describing the situation.

I like Maggie. She's spunky. Radcliffe does great job of showing us Maggie's personality quickly. (This is just another adventure to Maggie. And Most children are afraid of doctors and nurses. Not Maggie. Sitting on the exam table, she holds the compress with one hand while she inspects the room.)

Funny guy: "Which one of you young ladies is seven-year-old Maggie?"

"Tetanus shot up to date?" - This says authentic doctor's office visit so much to me! They engage the child and still talk to the parent about the necessities.

Oooh! An unwitting child matchmaker. We see a lot of matchmakers, but most of the time they're working their magic purposefully. Maggie doesn't even know she's doing it which makes her so cute.

Love this line. So symbolic of her situation and poetic at the same time: I feel a hopeful expectation I haven't felt in a very long time. It's sort of like being gently roused from sleep.

Hm. I wasn't crazy about Emily's behavior at the end. I didn't like how obvious she was in her question, "Do you and your wife take Henry here often?" And then, "Are you and Henry ready of this, Steven?" Seemed just as forward. If I were Henry, I'd be like, "Ready for what?" I half expect Emily to take his hand.  Otherwise, cute story.

Photo credit: Cmee2 via Wikimedia Commons

Love on Laurel Lane

by Terry O'Brien from the April 7, 2014 issue

Tagline: Ellen had already fallen in love with her new house when she met her new neighbor...and fell in love all over again!

In a Nutshell: Ellen moves with her two daughters to a small town for a new start after her divorce. Next door is a divorced man with two daughters.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: First paragraph, I like the setting--it sounds exactly like the type of small town Woman's World adores. Me too, for that matter. Plus, we get a quick backstory for the heroine. However, I have to say, if she's "recently" divorced, she may not be in the best shape for finding love right off the bat.

All right, I'm fairly deep into the story. I'm glad to have read that "The following weeks were busy ones," because this makes it more plausible. Scratch the previous comment. :)

And I'm done. Nicely written. My worries were unjustified. O'Brien did a fine job of convincing me that they were on the path to an HEA. She summarized their courtship, which was necessary because this is an 800 word story, not a novella. I haven't said this recently, but with Woman's World stories, you often have to "tell, don't show," which is the opposite of what you so often hear.

Also--and this is not to knock "Love on Laurel Lane," but in general, I find it unrealistic to show the kids of divorced parents to be so gung-ho about a) their parent finding a new partner or b) moving to a new place (especially if it's pulling them away from all their friends. I lived through my parents divorcing and it sucks. You never stop wishing your parents will get back together. Acceptance eventually comes, but the devastation is never forgotten.

Photo credit: Fae via Wikimedia Commons

OOPS: I skipped an issue. I'll critique "Second Chance at Love" next time.

Big Sisters Know Best

by Nell Musoff from the March 24, 2014 issue

Tagline: Susan had to admit that sometimes her sister Mary actually did know what she was talking about!

In a Nutshell: Susan's sister "bullies" her into attending a meeting of the "55 or Better" social club. Susan sees a classmate she hasn't seen in years.

Stream-of-consciousness Observations: Love the bossy sister. I'm only 51, but I am identifying with these ladies!

"I'm well aware of my age. But that doesn't mean I want to join a social club filled with senior citizens sitting around talking about their latest medical procedures." LOL

Oh, she's mourning a husband. Heartstrings tugged.

Oh, hers too. LOL As always, the mention of my late husband tugged at my heart.

LOL She signed her up for brownies. That's hilarious. And bullseye on the "I didn't have to check with you--I knew you weren't doing anything." Wake up call, Susan!

"...You don't sit next to someone for a whole school year without remembering them." Um...I do. LOL

Aww. Done with the story and it was cute. This is the type of everyday hopeful romance I don't remember having seen in a while. There's no date, but the story ends with promise. It's very open-ended, but optimistic. That's something to remember when you're writing your own stories. You don't always have to wrap it up.

Sunshine in the Forecast

by Elizabeth Palmer from the March 17, 2014 issue

Tagline: When Anna met Mike, she forgot about the cold winter and began to look forward to a warm and sunny future...

In a Nutshell: Anna has just moved north and isn't sure she likes it, especially when she discovers the oak tree in her front yard is a lost cause. She changes her mind when she meets the man from the nursery.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Hm. I'm to the place where the magazine inserts a highlighted quote and so far, I'm not particularly drawn in.

Handy how the neighbor happened to have a slip of paper with those names and numbers on it. LOL

Ah! The neighbor warns her to ask for the young Mike Greene. There's a nice twist on the cliche. Very often in WW stories, there is a "mix-up" in a family business situation. Usually the older worker is unavailable or sick and the real love interest steps up to the plate.

Notice that Palmer has laid out the heroine's conflict in a couple of places. Anna isn't so sure about living up north.

I love the moment they meet. Mike is funny.

Now I'm really liking Anna's inner thoughts. Obviously we know she's going to choose to stay, but you can see that she's already subconsciously made the decision when Young Mike talks about the maple. Up until then she'd been just thinking about moving back, then after meeting Mike, her thoughts take a turn and become more about what she'll miss. Subtle change, but important.

All right, done with the story. I liked it. In fact, I guess you could say I warmed up to it. Get it? LOL. Seriously, it took me a tiny bit to get into the slower, more thoughtful tone, but once I did that, I was fine. I guess I was expecting a perky heroine, and Anna wasn't. I did enjoy watching her change her mind about staying.

Photo credit: Denis Jacquerye via Wikimedia Commons

The Escape Artist

by Shelley Cooper from the March 10, 2014 issue

Tagline: Laura couldn't keep her dog from running away. Fortunately, he never ran far...just to Matt's house!

In a Nutshell: A dog plays matchmaker when he keeps running away to the house that a cute single guy is restoring.

Observations: Since this is the second story I'm analyzing today and I have limited time, I'm going to do a Stream-of-Consciousness Review ™. LOL.

The first couple of paragraphs are good. I, too, rescued a dog, so I'm immediately drawn in and feel a connection with the narrator. I also feel sympathy for her having just been dumped by her fiancé. Poor thing.

Oh. Teeny is a Great Dane. Holy moly. I have a Chihuahua. Polar opposites! 

Hm. I wonder what kind of neighborhood she lives in if there are Victorian houses sitting around abandoned. But I go with it.

OMG. LMAO. "I'm not sure, but after that kiss, I think Teeny and I are going steady."

I like seeing the progression of their relationship, via Teeny's messing up the porch and shirt.

I really liked the invitation, but I kind of wonder if he could have restored the house in two weeks. Glory is a strong word.

LMAO again at Matt's outfit for the BBQ.

Hm. I am disappointed with the ending. It felt very abrupt. I think it might have helped if right after he said, "And I do want to get to know you better, Laura," she had said something and they'd shared a moment. Instead there was "telling," of the "show don't tell" fame. "That was the day I fell in love with Matt. Thanks for telling us, but I'd rather see it happen real time. 

Oh, a wedding. That' makes sense, but it falls flat for me because I don't feel the couple has a strong enough connection built.

The last sentence was terrific, but I'm afraid it didn't make up for the lack of of happy sigh at the critical place in the story.

Love in His Eyes

by Rosemary Hayes from the March 3, 2014 issue

Tagline: Lisa and Joel were a perfect match but up to now, neither of them had been willing to admit it!

In a Nutshell: As good friends, Lisa and Joel are at the zoo together to take photographs. At Joel's insistence, she signed up for a photography class after she lost her job. While at the zoo, Joel finds the courage to tell Lisa he wants to be more than friends.

Observations: There are many elements in this story that I wanted to point out. Since I'm way behind analyzing the stories and want to do two today, I'm going to just list them.

1. In the very first paragraph we see a darling indication that Joel is sweet on Lisa. As usual, she didn't have to ask him to smile--he always smiled when he looked in her direction, whether or not she held her camera.

2. I had a moment of skepticism when the chimp smiled. I bet you could wait for three days and not see a chimp smile. Not sure they even smile at all or if they only bare their teeth when threatened, like many other animals.

3. I wasn't big on the "say cheese please" joke.

4. I did think the teasing about his receding hairline was good. It showed me that they are that comfortable with each other that she feels okay with teasing him about it.

5. I loved the way he talked about eagles mating habits as a way to lead into what he was really trying  to say to her. Smart guy! Smart author, too.

6. I also adored when she realizes and she snaps a picture at the moment she sees the love in his eyes through her view screen. That paragraph was amazing. You get her physical reaction, her sudden seriousness. You see her thought process as it finally dawns on her. The final sentence warms your heart, and then you get the one word paragraph that means, to me, she took the picture and will have it forever, and that everything just clicked for her.

7. After that perfect paragraph, the author made sure we see Lisa confirming that the feeling is mutual and a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

Ah romance!

Contest to Win One of My Books

As some of you will undoubtedly know, I also write longer, steamier romance fiction under the name Kate Willoughby. My newest book, On the Surface, is coming out next month. It's a hockey romance and I think it's the best book I've ever written.

To get ready for the Big Day and the hordes of fans I hope are in my future (LOL), I had my author website revamped and I unveiled the finished product a couple of days ago. I'm running a contest for people to win a copy of the book, if you are interested.

You will land on the home page, but just choose "blog" on the menu bar to find the contest.

Good luck and thanks for visiting!

Thief of Hearts

by Shelley Cooper from the February 24, 2014 issue

Tagline: Julie and Kevin were destined to meet and fall in love. At least, that's how Maurice saw it!

In a Nutshell: Julie's cat likes to take items from people's homes and bring them to Julie. When he snatches some things from neighbor Kevin, the humans realize there might be something worth pursuing.

Observations: This was one of the best stories I've read in a long while. In fact, it inspired me to do a Top Ten list at the end of the year.

As I read it, my smile got bigger and bigger. I make notes sometimes on the page--places in the story I want to talk about in the analysis. As you can see by the picture I marked a lot of places.

Right off the bat, there's an excellent hook first sentence.

I live with a thief.

Isn't that great?

Next, I had to admire Julie's deductive skills when she figured out which house the cuff link must have come from.

When she sees him, we get a great bit of description that takes ownership of the fact that heroes are so often tall, dark, and handsome, but puts a spin on it that makes it amusing.

He was a walking cliche--tall, dark and almost more handsome than my poor heart could tolerate.

I liked her using the word "rock" in its most modern way:

Even without the jacket, the man rocked a tuxedo.

Here's where I laughed:

"A cat burglar, huh?"

I liked her inner thoughts here too. I thought they were cute:

"No, I'm happily divorced. It's a co-worker's wedding. The cuff links were a groomsman gift."

The euphoria that filled my heart at this news was downright alarming.

The twist around two thirds in, where Maurice the cat, starts giving gifts to Kevin was surprising and absolutely perfect! I defy any reader to get to that part and not be completely sure these two will have a happy ending, because hello, the CAT liked him. That's gotta count for a lot, right?

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the bra shows up. Game over. At this point, I'm cursing Cooper for being such a terrific writer. Sometimes I get jealous that way. I get all, "WHY are you not writing stories like this, Kate? Put the hockey books aside for a few days!"

I liked at the climax how Julie is, after being frustrated with the lack of progress in their relationship, suddenly shy and not quite ready to believe he is really interested in her. You catch your breath there (just like her) and laugh at her witty remark about the cat, just in case he didn't mean what she hopes he means.

I thought her last line came a tiny bit abruptly, but that is such a minor quibble, it's almost not worth mentioning.

Often I have a hard time writing the critique. This one came very easily.

Once and For All

by Suzanne DuBois from the February 17, 2014 issue

Tagline: Tim had a feeling Amy was "the one," but he just couldn't tell her what was in his heart...

In a Nutshell:  Tim is your typical young man, playing the field, not really looking for love, so when he meets Amy, he's a bit blindsided. Suddenly shy, he bumbles his approach a couple of times before she finally takes matters into her own hands.

Observations: The appeal of this story for me was the intimate telling of it from the hero's point of view. It was cute to see his paradigm shift from the type of woman he'd always been attracted to, to someone more like you and me, since I've never been a head-turner, tall or athletic! LOL

There was a bit of a black moment as his sister--sort of a quasi villain in this story--says maybe the universe is trying to tell him something. But our hero ignores her.

We also get an epilogue paragraph in which we find out how it all turned out: wedding, starter home and a baby on the way.

Not your typical Woman's World story, but well within the tone and style of the magazine. Well done.

Photo credit: Larsinio via Wikimedia Commons

A Little TLC

by Joan Dayton from the February 10, 2014 issue

Tagline: Julie and Ken both understood that homes are like hearts--they require tender loving care to flourish...

In a Nutshell: Julie is a real estate agent trying to sell a house owned by the Gradys. Ken restores houses for a living. He used to do odd jobs for the Gradys when he was younger and even though it has a petunia pink kitchen, he wants to buy the house himself.

Observations: This story did not stand out for me. There was only one moment that resonated and that was:

In the kitchen, his gaze swept the room. "Yep. petunia pink." Seeing her puzzled look, he said, "I did yard work as a kid and the Gradys were customers. After I cut the lawn, Mrs. Grady would invite me in for lemonade. I never knew my own grandparents, so they sort of filled that spot for me."

This part made me smile. I could totally picture a young boy being coddled by them, especially Mrs. Grady, in that pink kitchen.

Otherwise, the story didn't evoke any particular emotions in me. As usual, my usual disclaimer says your mileage may vary. Johnene thought it was good enough to pay $800 for and somewhere an author is taking that to the bank!

Photo credit: Fir0002/Flagstaffotos via Wikimedia Commons

We [heart] Paris

by Mary Haupt from the February 2, 2014 issue

Tagline: Dinah couldn't wait to leave for Paris. Then she met Kelly-and he made her look forward to coming home too.

In a Nutshell: Dinah is going on her long dreamed of trip to Paris. Kelly, the man who is temping while she's gone, was an exchange student there when he was younger. Over dinner, he gives her some tips on what to see while she's there. The next day, he sends her off with a smile.

Observations: This story started out average for me, wandered into weird territory, and then finished strong.

I thought the first part of the story was cute, typical of a Woman's World story. There's a perky friend. There's the backstory about Dinah's trip. There's a cute meet where Dinah is expecting a girl because her replacement's name is Kelly.

In addition to the black moment at the end of the story, there was a gray moment in the middle when Dinah almost declines Kelly's dinner invitation, which was slightly unusual. I really loved how Kelly shared his knowledge with her, pointing out special things she might want to see herself. But the whole screenplay thing felt out of place to me. Maybe it's because I live in Los Angeles, and I was pretty skeptical that he had a producer interested in optioning it. Everyone and their mother is a screenwriter here, and not that many are successful at it. Hollywood is very much a "who you know" town. I might have believed it if the screenplay had been described a little bit more. "Based on his experiences that year," didn't sound too lucrative. And he changes the topic soon after mentioning it anyway, so I didn't quite see the purpose.

By this time, I'm not all that interested in the couple, unfortunately. I didn't see too much personality in either of them. I admired Dinah for making her dream come true and going on a trip like that by herself. She's braver than I am! However, other than that, they seemed pedestrian.

However, I thought the ending of the story was strong. I liked the drawn out tension of Dinah in the airport as she hopes to see Kelly and the way he sends her off was perfect. That ending redeemed the story for me.

I'd be interested to see what everyone else thought. Maybe it was just me.

Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn via Creative Commons

Banking on Love

by Elizabeth Palmer from the January 27, 2014 issue

Tagline: Megan was too shy to make the first move with Ryan--until her twin sister delivered a challenge she simply couldn't resist.

In a Nutshell: Megan likes Ryan the bank teller. Megan's sister dares her to give him her phone number on her deposit slip. Just as she's about to give it to him, the manager takes his place because it's time for his lunch. Never fear though, because Ryan is outside waiting for Megan. He wants to take her to lunch.

Observations: I loved how this story played out. There were no real jumps in time. Did you notice that? There was no shift to another scene. The narrative began and went on uninterrupted until the end. I think it made it really feel like I was living it with Megan.

I felt bad for her when the manager snaked the deposit slip with her phone number on it. How embarrassing! And I thought the sister seemed realistic. She is just the right amount of loving (she wants her sister to find love) and annoying (daring Megan and then laughing when it goes wrong).

I loved the ending line, "Her work here was done," referring to her sister's matchmaking efforts.

The only think I found lacking was I didn't really experience a lot of joy when he asked her out. Ryan seemed a little flat to me.

Other than that, another winner from Ms. Palmer!

The House on Main Street

by Susan Holloway from the January 20, 2014 issue

Tagline: Samantha had always loved the old Victorian house. Now that Scott lived there, she loved it even more!

In A Nutshell: Scott bought a Victorian house and hired "Sam" the architect to help him remodel it. When he finds out Sam is a woman, he's surprised, just as she is surprised to find out he owns a book and coffee place and bakes the muffins himself.

Observations: Susan Holloway did a good job with this story. I don't have a lot to point out positively or negatively. I noticed that she included a slight nod to feminism with Sam being successful in a traditionally male-dominated field, but other than that, this story was average.

Photo credit: thebittenword.com via Flickr Creative Commons

Love on Ice

by N.L. Hickerson from the January 13, 2014 issue

Tagline: Ethan saved the pretty, green-eyed skater from falling on the ice, but nothing could keep Ethan from falling for the skater!

In a Nutshell: Ethan meets a woman skating but she gets away before he can catch her name. The next time he's skating, he finds out it's the same woman his sister has been trying to set him up with.

Observations: Hickerson is a regular contributor to WW. This story is a good example as to why. The circularity that occurs--tying the "most beautiful woman in the world" idea to the end--is perfect. We see the attraction between them. There's humor, from both the hero and heroine. Ethan is a go-getter, checking the local library to see if he can find her.

My only complaint is nothing the author can do much about. Of course, the moment you hear Ethan's sister talking about someone she wants him to meet, you know it's going to coincidentally be the heroine he meets on his own. But that's a plot we've seen before and will see again.

Picture Perfect

by Susan Holloway from the January 6, 2014 issue

Tagline: Kasi and the handsome stranger had more in common than she realized when she first ran in to [sic] him...

In a Nutshell: Kasi finds an antique camera that a friend of hers has been searching for. Just as she reaches for it, a man beats her to it. He's good looking, charming, and gallant, since he lets her take the camera even though he wanted it for his collection. Kasi brings the camera to her friend who in turn gives it to her brother, none other than the man who gave it up in the first place.

Observations: I haven't mentioned story structure for a while and something in this story reminded me of that fact. In a typical story, the first act introduces the protagonists and their problems. Often in a Woman's World story, they're looking for love, but sometimes they have some other challenge like getting used to being back in their hometown, or finding a new job. In the second act, things progress, problems arise, and right at the end of the act, things come to a head. Third act, we see the resolution of the problems and all loose ends are tied up. Usually the third act is relatively short. The pacing increases in the second act and by the time we get to the third, we're moving quickly, so the end comes before we know it.

In this story, the "things come to a head" moment, which I also call the big black moment, comes right about the mid point when the man leaves the store and Kasi thinks she'll never see him again. Practically half the story is dedicated to working things out for Kasi and Nathan.

I'm not sure why this works in Woman's World stories. Any ideas?

Photo by Hakan Svensson (cc)

It's a Wrap!

by Elizabeth Palmer from the December 30, 2013 issue

Tagline: Allie was happy to help out at the Christmas fundraising booth. And when her good deed brought Dan into her life, she was even happier!

In a Nutshell: Allie is known in her family for her elaborate gift-wrapping so volunteering to wrap gifts at the mall for a charity is a perfect fit. A man makes eye contact and smiles. She smiles back. Much later, he's there with a large donation and some gifts for her to wrap. Turns out, two of the gifts are for his dog. He just wanted to meet her.

Observations: Okay, Ms. Palmer. I hereby crown you Queen of the Holiday Stories. I'm convinced you could write a winner in your sleep.

I wanted to point out what a "perfect" hero Dan is. First, he looks good in leather. Just kidding. Because I have to go to work soon, I'll just do a laundry list of is attributes.

He's generous -- gives a large donation to Allie for the gift wrapping, which we find out later is his second donation to the Children's Hospital.

He's a devoted uncle who spends time with his niece and nephew.

He has a dog. (And he buys presents for him!)

He's honest -- he confesses to Allie about his deception.

Outside of that, I liked Allie too. She's so perky. Her elf-like perkiness jumps off the page. I also liked that tension when Allie notices the man, but he leaves. And the clever line at the end about Boxing Day being her favorite holiday? Clever!

What I did find strange was the woman whose granddaughter brought a sculpture to be wrapped. The little girl had made the sculpture in preschool and they made a special trip to the mall to get it wrapped? A little weird. Otherwise, it's easy to see why they picked this story.

Photo credit: rheaparedes (cc)

A White Christmas

by Patrice Howell from the December 23, 2013 issue

Tagline: What Ella expected to be the worst Christmas seemed about to turn into one of the best!

In a Nutshell: Divorced, Ella is sad because her daughter is spending Christmas with her dad. Her sadness is observed by a handsome co-worker who asks her out for a latte at the end of the busy day.

Observations: I have goosebumps on my arms. Maybe it's the magic of a Christmas story and the hope that shines at the end of the tale. Whatever it was, I loved this story.

Sometimes, you have to go back to the basics in which we have a protagonist with a problem and we see her solve it by the end and grow a little in the process. In this case, I think Ella's problem is that she's sad and lonely. While we see the man come to her rescue, sort of, I think it's balanced by her  not brooding after her daughter calls her midday. She also doesn't stand mutely in the elevator at the end of the day. She speaks first, a small but important detail.

Usually I caution writers to be frugal with description, merely because we are only given 800 words with which to work. However, did you notice that long paragraph describing the night at the end of the story? Wow. It was absolutely necessary and added so much. It almost felt as if I was inside a snow globe. It allowed the reader to pause and reflect and let the attraction build between the hero and heroine until they pushed open the doors and started down the path to romance.

Photo by insidious_plots (cc)

Lucy's Lucky Day

by K.C. Laine from the December 16, 2013 issue

Tagline: Lucy could only laugh at her brother's game-day superstitions--until the day he came over with his charming friend…

In a Nutshell: The power is out in the neighborhood Lucy and her brother live in. She invites him over to watch "the big game," and he brings over his handsome friend. Lucy had been hoping to see him again after her brother introduced them a week ago, and the friend was the one who asked to tag along. A win-win situation.

Observations: This story has it all, plus a photo of romantic guacamole, something I didn't knew existed.

Cute set-up that is not the norm? Check.

Cute child who allows the hero, Steven, to admire Lucy's parenting skills and thereby convincing the reader he's a family man? Check.

Buffalo chicken wing proof that Steven is more than a handsome face? Check.

Male humor in which Steven teases Nate about his laundry habits? Check.

Self-deprecating humor between Steven and Lucy regarding his manliness? Check.

Both protagonists declaring they like each other, thus demonstrating their assertiveness and her readiness to get back out into the dating arena after her divorce? Check.

Witty, cute, make-you-smile ending? Check!

Nice job, Laine.

Photo by jeffreyw (cc)

True Colors

by Shelley Cooper from the December 9, 2013 issue

Tagline: Who knew that a head of Kool-Aid-green hair would lead one desperate man and one amused hairstylist to love?

In a Nutshell: Simon let his nieces dye his hair with Kool-Aid and it won't wash out in time for him to be best man at his brother's wedding. Kate dyes his hair so it looks normal.

Observations: This was a cute story with a pretty original plot. I enjoyed seeing the hero and heroine spend so much time together. It was easy to like both of them. They were both easy-going and funny. Simon is shown to be a family man--devoted to his nieces.

I also enjoyed all of Kate's internal dialogue. She was so cute, wry and humorous. I liked her a lot. And not just because of her name. LOL

The two sentence epilogue is a rarity. We seldom see a couple get married, but in this story, we did. Why? My guess is that a wedding was a big part of the story. Also, Cooper was able to cleverly sneak in a repeat of the green theme, bringing the story full circle and showing the couple has a sentimental streak.

It seemed an odd choice for a December issue, though.

Photo by wiredforlego (cc)

Wooed and Won

by Mary Ann Joyce from the December 2, 2013 issue

Tagline: Sunny, smiling Meg had won Trey's heart without even trying. But how could he tell her what his feelings were?

In a Nutshell: Trey is shy with women after his divorce. He's admired the waitress at his favorite cafe from afar for too long. When he overhears her wish for a man who brings flowers and recites poetry, he makes that wish come true and she loves it.

Observations: Mary Ann Joyce can always be relied upon for a great story. There were several places that I smiled while reading.

1. "I just walked over. Didn't take a car or anything." He grinned. -- This made me smile. It showed he had a sense of humor. Also, no one really likes an eavesdropper, so by alerting her to the fact that he heard her, he's off the hook and it paves the way for him to use that information to his advantage.

2. "…deserve much better," Trey whispered to himself. -- My. I don't know how I expected him to finish his sentence, but this was very romantic and sweet. I liked this man before this point in the story, but when I read this part, my heart melted.

3. He nodded and headed out. He hadn't made his move yet, but he was thinking. -- I don't really know why I liked this part so much. It was a smooth transition, clearly ending the scene. It let us know that Trey wasn't giving up and that he thought enough of Meg to put some real thought into his approach. He wasn't just going to off the cuff say, "Hey, let's go out."

4. "Good," Trey laughed, "because I was about to sing next, and that might get ugly." -- Again, love the humor.

Photo by Muffet (cc)

Emily's Thanksgiving Wish

by Elizabeth Palmer from the November 25, 2013 issue

Tagline: Kelly expected to spend the holiday all alone, but little Emily had a different idea for her teacher--and her uncle…

In a Nutshell: Kelly is a teacher. When one of her students leaves a special Thanksgiving craft at school, she drops it off at her house and gets an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner with the student and her (single) legal guardian, Uncle Scott.

Observations: I don't recall seeing a story written in present tense in a while. This isn't my personal favorite, if only because I always have to get used to reading it. I'm so used to reading fiction in past tense.

The whole story was well plotted and written, I found it touching when I read that Scott became Emily's legal guardian four years earlier. I felt for both of them, and he seemed to be such a great adoptive dad too.

I did wonder why Scott's eyes were glistening after he saw Emily's paper plate art project. That suggested to me that he was on the verge of tears and I didn't understand why. I did love how he complimented his niece, but the project didn't seem particularly sentimental.

Lost…And Found!

by Mary Haupt from the November 18, 2013 issue

Tagline: Christie's heart went out to the lost, frightened little boy. Then she met his uncle--and her heart went out to him, too!

In a Nutshell: Christie works at a department store. A little boy is separated from his uncle and she helps reunite them.

Observations: My apologies for the delay in posting. I'm trying to make the deadline on my second hockey romance and have been short of time.

While this story obviously made the grade for Johnene, it fell short for me.

I thought it was clever how Haupt introduced the fact that he was the uncle, not the dad, via the dialogue with the nephew. And I wanted to point out the tiny "black moment" when Nate almost leaves the store. I think black moments help and I try to include them in my stories when I can.

However, the entire premise of the story rubbed me the wrong way.

The backstory of how Christie was lost when she was little engendered not a lot of sympathy from me, but I used to teach elementary school, so I tend to think she shouldn't have been hiding from her mother. Although, I'm reading that part again and seeing it was a game they played together. So the mom was aiding and abetting! Again, I think, "Well, that's not a very smart game to play. Kids get snatched." And what mom wants to feel that panic when you realize your child is missing on purpose? I've been there and done that and it's scary.

Then, later? After a terrifying experience of being lost, Charlie goes off to hide again. First of all, he obviously didn't learn his lesson. Then the adults play along with him. Yep, the teacher (and mom) in me thinks, "Oh, that is a big mistake, making a game of it. You're just reinforcing his behavior and paving the way for another not-so-fun scenario next time the kid goes shopping." They should be seriously talking to the boy about not doing that so nothing happens to him, not going along with it.

So in summary, my teacher genes wouldn't let me enjoy the story as much as perhaps the rest of you. When you put your fiction out there, not everyone's going to like it. Sometimes, as in this case, that's not because you wrote a bad story, but because that person's experiences color their opinion.

Photo by Listener42 (cc)

Second Chance

by Monica Andermann from the November 11, 2013 issue

Tagline: What were the odds that a rainy night and a broken-down car would bring love back into Ellen's life?

In a Nutshell: Ellen has car trouble. The tow truck man is a guy she knew in high school. Turns out he wanted to ask her to the prom way back when.

Observations: I thought this story was above average. Sometimes I like it when the author constructs the story so it feels as though a lot of time has passed. In this case, the almost entire story happens as we read it. Except for "A few minutes later, they pulled into the service station," there are no jumps ahead. It was refreshing.

I wanted to point out a couple of things. One, notice how Andermann helps the reader identify with the heroine with the whole internal monologue about being called "ma'am" versus "miss." Who among us hasn't felt a similar emotion?

Also notice how smoothly she worked in a physical description and some backstory when she talks about Ellen's curly hair. In one fell swoop you get a mental picture of Ellen, you see they already know each other, that she got a divorce last year, and she's optimistic enough by now to get herself a new look. This is the type of multi-tasking you have to do when you only have 800 words to work with.

My Favorite Part:

"You know, Ellen, I had a big crush on you in high school."

Ellen felt her heart skip. "You did not," she laughed.

Photo by ToastyKen (cc)

The Invitation

by Donna Brennan from the November 4, 2013 issue

Tagline: Molly's favorite things were running and reading. So why bother with a party where there was zero chance she'd meet a man with the same interests?

In a Nutshell: Molly doesn't want to go to a party, but she does anyway. There, she meets a man and almost doesn't recognize him as the guy she often runs past at the park. They find out they have a lot in common.

Observations: After I finished this story, I really felt as if I'd been to a party. I could immediately identify with Molly because I, too, dislike going to parties where I know almost no one. I, too, am critical of food (but I'm not a restaurant critic!)

I thought it was cute how she nicknamed the people she saw at the park and then ran into "The Blue Streak" at the party.

It might have been funnier if she'd omitted the sentence in between the two lines of dialogue. Comedy is all about timing, and I think that long delay between the set-up and the punchline is too long here.

Original:  "I try not to run in heels." I smiled into the blue eyes that had inspired his nickname. "It's rough on the ankles."

Revised: "I try not to run in heels." I smiled up at him. "It's rough on the ankles."

Photo by Tobyotter (cc)

Halloween Magic

by Patrice Howell from the October 28, 2013 issue

Tagline: Tom wondered if the silver wand Jenny carried had magical powers...because she had certainly cast a spell on him!

In a Nutshell: Tom is a workaholic who just finished a huge project at work. He is going to celebrate with good take-out. He meets Jenny and her niece who are trick-or-treating in town. She asks him to join them. He does.

Observations: This story had a different feel to it and I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe it was because it was focused on the man. Maybe it was Tom's dissatisfaction with life. Maybe it was that he didn't meet the heroine until the story was half over.

I liked how Tom was flustered and couldn't form a coherent thought, but I thought it was odd for Jenny to ask him to accompany her. My practical side is coming out because I assume she's supposed to be bonding with her niece and I didn't think she should be talking with this chivalrous guy. Speaking of chivalry, even though he'd held the door for her, he was a complete stranger. It was just...weird.

And yet, Woman's World liked it enough to publish it, so it just goes to prove once again that this is a subjective business.

Photo by Robynlou8

The Other Path

by Tracie Rae Griffith from the October 14, 2013 issue

Tagline: Happily, Annie managed to convince her mother that the road to love isn't always the smooth one!

In a Nutshell: Annie goes on a bike ride with her mom, who lives in a retirement village. When faced with a fork in the path, Annie convinces her mom to take the bumpier one for a change. There, by the pond, they see Sam, who lives in the same retirement village. What a coincidence!

Observations: It seems like a while since we've seen a matchmaker story and this was a sweet one. I liked how cleverly Annie convinces her mom to go out of her comfort zone. There was no trickery, as can sometimes come into play with matchmaker stories. She uses the lure of a possible duck sighting instead.

There were some signals that Annie's mom and Sam might have a happy future, which is always reassuring to the reader. They may not register them consciously, but I think subconsciously if you insert some positive connections between the potential lovebirds, it makes the story more believable and satisfying.

For one, you can see that Sam already likes the mom because he's given her some tomatoes. Mom already likes him, too. ("He's such a nice man.") There's also this:

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" Mom asks. Sam turns at the sound of her voice and his face lights up.

Sweet!

He's also there to feed the ducks and Mom is a bird lover. So there are three indicators that things will turn out well with them. They're on the right track and that's the aim of these romance stories--to help you feel happy and hopeful, if only for a little while.

Photo by Boegh (cc)

The Handsome Helper

by Tina Radcliffe from the October 7, 2013 issue

Tagline: Annie ran into Patrick, and it turned out to be the first day of their life together

In A Nutshell:

Observations: I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness critique today where I just type what I'm thinking as I read the story.

Hm. She literally runs into him. Seems a bit cliche, but I'm willing to see if the author makes me forget about that.

I like the phrase "hard wall of man." Of course, what red-blooded woman wouldn't? LOL

I like his name, Patrick Murphy. Hers...she has two first names. :/

He is helpful and very nice.

I wonder at Annie's business acumen. She's got her grand opening on Saturday and she's just now thinking about hiring some extra help? Hm. And obviously, Patrick won't be sending anyone over to help her out. He's going to go himself. And maybe ask for a maple bar in payment.

Oh, there, she out and out offers him one. LOL

And here's Annie chiding herself for not getting help ahead of time. Yeah. What were you thinking, chickie?

Aha! I was right. Patrick shows up as the helper, but I wonder why he was late. I'm suspecting it's so the author could build the tension.

I like him flipping the sign on the door.

All in all, it was a so-so story. I liked Radcliffe's "A Match Made In Winter" much better.

Photo by HeatherHeatherHeather (cc)

Missing issue

Alas, I am putting a call out to my followers, hoping someone can send me a copy of the story from the October 7 issue. I got a magazine in the mail and it's dated October 14. :(

Secret Rendezvous

by Elizabeth Brown from the September 30, 2013 issue

Tagline: Rosie was happy in her marriage, but she couldn't help wishing there was a little more romance in her life...

In a Nutshell: Rosie is having lunch with a friend when she sees a couple kiss. Her friend remarks that the two can't be married because married people don't do that in public. As Rosie tells her husband about it, she realizes how much she is grateful for. Hubby realizes it too and asks her out on a "date" the next day to prove it.

Observations: Okay, this is THE perfect already-married story. It's the best one I've read in the eight years I've subscribed to this magazine.

In most already-married stories, it's all about the character growth. You have a character--usually the wife--who is somewhat disgruntled or unhappy or in a rut in regard to the marriage. By the end of the story, she has a change of heart and sees all the wonderful things her marriage has to offer. Usually it's by looking at the history she has with her husband or at some facet of his personality or habits that she hasn't appreciated or looked at in a different way before.

In this story, we do get all that. But we also get the husband realizing as well. Usually, the husband is oblivious to his wife's emotional distress and he ends up surprised at the end of the story. Not so in "Secret Rendezvous."

I wanted to point out that Brown actively showed Rosie walking this path of self-realization. Here's the doubt:

I tried to think of the last time Harry and I did anything romantic. Two Friday nights ago we went on a "date," but all we talked about were the kids.

Huh. Been there done that!

But then Brown starts showing Rosie coming to her senses.

His brown hair was thinning on top, but still, I thought, he's so handsome. I used to love to run my fingers through that hair. Why had I ever stopped?

Because he didn't have hair anymore? Heh heh. Just kidding. This is where Rosie begins to realize what she has. The next paragraph continues that. She thinks about what they've built together and what they continue to work toward.

In a masterful stroke, she ties Rosie's observation of "the man gazing at a spot somewhere above [his wife's] head" at Costco to an observation at home with Harry doing the same thing, increasing the tension and weaving the story together a little tighter.

Lastly, where I would have expected the story to end with Rosie accepting Harry's invitation to lunch, Brown takes it one step further and shows Rosie choosing a special dress for the date. She brings us back to Rosie's observation of the kissing couple whom she thought looked like old time movie stars. Rosie's dress makes her feel like she might be "a star on her way to a rendezvous with a tall, handsome stranger." However, the author reminds us:

But in truth, it was me, dressing for lunch with a man I'd known intimately for 18 years--a man who, maybe, I was just getting to know all over again.

Happy sigh. That, my friends is a great ending. It would have been a fine ending if that last part, with her getting dressed, hadn't been there, but in my opinion, Brown knocked it out of the park with that final paragraph. I say in my online/email class that it's worth it to spend as much time on the ending of your story as necessary to make it SING. This is a prime example of why.

Pay no attention to this post

Same Time Next Year

by Karen Leet from the September 23, 2013 issue

Tagline: Years had passed since Kim and Josh's first meeting. But in the same old booth in the same old diner, it felt like yesterday.

In a Nutshell: Kim and Josh, best friends, have met every year on the same day to commemorate the day they met, among other things. They relive the event over dinner, then return to their normal lives. As husband and wife.

Observations: In theory, this is a cute idea. It's different. We see so many first meet stories and it's a nice change of pace to read about a couple already established. However to be honest, I got tired of them relating information back to each other, information that they clearly both remembered. I would have dialed down the sentimentality a bit had I been the editor.

Sometimes in movies or TV shows, they have characters deliver expositional material through clumsy dialogue for the sole purpose of imparting this crucial information to the audience.

"As you know, Julie, our father was sent to prison for armed robbery and is up for parole next month."

That type of thing. Unfortunately, this is what this whole story felt like to me. I was fine with it until about a third of the way in. After that it felt forced. The fact that they were and are best friends is unnecessarily reiterated. To me, they were that annoying but well-meaning couple who think everyone else is as interested in their romantic history as they are.

I think it would have been much smoother if we had gone into either one of their heads and relived the events that way instead of them relaying the information in conversation. I would like to have seen them think about what their expectations were way back then and what had transpired since then, where they think they're going in the next few years. Perhaps they might even touch on the fact that although they made some mistakes along the way and the road was not always smooth, that they wouldn't change a thing. I think that might have made the story seem more realistic and down to earth.

However, as I have not said in quite a while, this is only my opinion. Clearly, the editors at Woman's World felt it was a solid story.

Love at the Library

by MaryAnn Joyce from the September 16, 2013 issue

Tagline: Rosie wasn't convinced that this "Books and Blind Dates" thing was a good idea--but she'd been wrong before...

In a Nutshell: Rosie's library is having a singles event--Books and Blind Dates. Dawn signed up, but is nervous when the big night arrives. So is her date.

Observations: I adored this story. It was charming and different, even though it very much reminded me of my Mr. Darcy Valentine's Day Blind Date story that got rejected. Joyce's idea is very clever. Who among us doesn't love libraries and books? I liked the mystery of Rosie not knowing what the book was either. It was almost as if she had two blind dates rolled into one.

We haven't had a first person-present tense story in a while, but there's proof that Woman's Worlds accept it.

You'll notice that there was a huge chunk of backstory. Almost a third of the story described the event, the two friends signing up for it and Rosie's romantic past. That's very unusual, but necessary in this case. The event isn't something familiar like the county fair or a parade.

The amount of time spent with the hero and heroine is therefore smaller, but didn't really affect the charm of the story. The author ended the story about five minutes into the date, but she did such a great job of setting the pair up that we feel optimistic that the date will go well.

--She thinks he's cute.
--She teases him and he responds with self-effacing humor, which I like.
--They both admit to being very nervous about the event.

I also liked that she grew as a character by approaching him and introducing herself and that he stood up when she came over, showing he was brought up with gentlemanly manners.

All in all, a fantastic story.

Photo by Gerry Dincher (cc)

The Man in 2B

by Elizabeth Palmer from the September 9, 2013 issue

Tagline: Tanya had gotten a new job in a new town. Now, what she needed was a new friend...

In a Nutshell: Tanya likes her neighbor, but assumes he's married because he always seems to be in the company of this woman, but when a piece of his mail gets mixed with hers, she finds out the woman is his sister, who as been visiting. Jamie is a photographer and Tanya's new job is at the art museum. It's a match made in heaven--with a little help from the sister.

Observations: Palmer has had many stories published by Woman's World and this demonstrates why. There are a lot of small things that help elevate the story.

This story combines two story tropes nicely--the misidentified person (usually a woman the heroine assumes is a love interest but who in reality is a sister, cousin, co-worker, etc.) and the matchmaker. That's a simple way to branch out from the tried and true story plots that appear in the magazine.

I liked the hero's sense of humor and how this joke shows he and his sister have a great relationship:

"I've been meaning to welcome you to the building, but Lori's been running me ragged. I'm glad she's finally leaving."

"Ha," Lori said. "He'll miss me when I'm gone."

The conversation introduced the thing they have in common very naturally and the fact that there is a thing in common helps the reader believe they have a chance at happiness.

The author also talked about Tanya needing a manicure and pedicure early in the story and then touched on it again near the end, a nice way of making the story feel more cohesive.

Lastly, I wanted you to take note of the deft transition to show the passage of time.

"Tanya sit. Let's talk while I finish packing."

"How do you take your coffee?" Jamie asked her.

Soon she was sipping coffee and answering Jamie and Lori's barrrage of questions. 

Because the word count is so small, you have to move your plot along briskly. This sentence gets the reader past the making and serving of the coffee and whatever small talk occurred during that. Oh, also, we skip Jamie even asking her if she'd like some coffee in the first place. No one wants to read small talk. We want to get to the interesting part!

Photo by SparkCBC (cc)