The Missed Bus

by Sheila Llanas from the October 1, 2012 issue

Tagline: When he missed the bus, Drew's evening commute took an unexpectedly romantic turn...

In a Nutshell: Drew falls while running to catch his bus. A pretty woman helps him up. Neither of them catch their bus because they go out to dinner together.

Observations: It's really funny how many times I'm surprised by the mundanity, yet freshness, of a premise. Hello. I see buses all the time. Have I ever thought about writing a WW story about someone who misses their bus? NO. Llanas did, and she did a good job.

I loved Drew's reaction when he saw the woman:

     Was he imagining this beautiful woman?

I laughed, thinking he really did fall hard.

I laughed again, harder, at this:

     "Nice to meet you," he said. "Do you work around here? I must've looked like a klutz."
     "Yes," she said.
     "Yes, what?"
     "Yes, you did look like a klutz."

I also liked seeing how Drew started out slow, but gradually got himself together enough to ask her out. At first he's dazed. Then he's flustered and can't think of what to say. Then, he realizes he'd better get his butt in gear because she's leaving.

I also thought this story was a little subtler in bringing back a phrase than "Out of the Blue," in which I thought the phrase/idea "dropped into her life" was used one too many times. Here, we have the falling hard idea mentioned at the beginning, but with slightly different wording.

Half a block from the stop, he dodged a dog-walker, snagged his foot, and hit the cement hard, landing in a heap.

At the end of the story, which was super-cute, we see this.

     Melissa tucked her arm through his. "If they notice [your pants], we'll just tell them you fell hard."
     Drew looked into Melissa's pretty hazel eyes. "Yes," he said. "I certainly did."

It's a tiny bit forced. I don't really see someone telling the restaurant host, "He fell hard." They'd probably say, "He fell." But, I was willing to let that go.

Photo by MrMPD (cc)