Tagline: Brokenhearted after his divorce, Adam can barely stand the thought of Valentine's Day...until his old high school flame, Susie, helps him find joy again.Observations: I had a bit of a rocky start when I read the first paragraph of this story--word choices, mostly. Have I mentioned that I'm super picky about word usage? You might have already noticed this. Here's one instance
"But ever since their acrimonious divorce two years before, his broken heart had changed."
It's the word "changed" that's bugging me here. I might have said this instead: "But their acrimonious divorce two years before had broken his heart," or maybe "But ever since their acrimonious divorce two years before, he'd had a change of heart toward February fourteenth."
I had a similar reaction to "February mounted into the double digits." I think the right would would have been "entered," but I could be wrong.
However, I'm happy to say after that first paragraph, I got into this old-flame story and ended up liking it a lot. I loved the goofy Valentine's heart costume. I thought there was some witty banter too.
Photo credit: Squidish via Flickr CC license
14 comments:
I liked the heart costume with white gloves-seemed funny and offbeat who doesn’t love a tap-dancing, live valentine? Bit of tension when he doesn’t see her at noon. Then, I liked the line: I survived the red rose jungle. Clever and fun.
I agree with all points, 23cjhoward. :)
I may have missed this story. Kate, have you heard if the new fiction editor at Woman's World appreciates your critiques of her work? I understand some of the authors are in tears over the improbable rewrites of their stories. Do you think they will continue to submit to this editor?
I'm not sure who "anonymous" is, but I've had a romance published this year and I've been in touch with most of the other WW veterans who have also sold, and I can assure her that no one is "in tears." Professionals expect their stories to be edited. I haven't heard of anyone saying they would no longer submit to WW.
I thought this was a cute story. I enjoyed it.
As for the comment by anonymous, I'm not sure why the new author would be upset about the critiques. It isn't "her" work, anyway. It is the authors' work and many of them have said they appreciate Kate's critiques, even if she has been critical of elements of the story. I don't think most authors will stop sending stories considering how well they are getting paid.
Betsi, are the stories being rewritten or just edited?
I do have concern over my more critical posts and whether the editor takes my words here personally. It is my hope that she takes it in stride. Certainly, fiction is a very subjective thing and what strikes some people as amazing writing can strike others as complete dreck. I hope if she does come here she isn’t offended. It’s all just my opinion. ��
As far as whether those upset authors will submit again is up to them. Like Betsi said, professionals don’t take edits personally. The magazine editor knows what is right for their publication and it is their right to edit as they please. I know sometimes it feels as though our stories are our children but we have to accept the fact that changes will probably be made.
A new editorial director after TWENTY YEARS and a new fiction editor after several years. It all spells change. Change isn't easy for any of us.
We all like to think of WW as OUR magazine, don't we? But it isn't. We're simply privileged to write for its pages on occasion.
I know that as much as I take edits in stride whenever I submit ANYWHERE, sometimes it does pinch when my baby is changed. But then you suck it up and gratefully cash your check. It's all part of the business and part of the realization that our stories must fit their vision, not ours.
We are writing their stories not our stories.
As Betsi said, we're professionals.
If I could, I would "like" Tina's comment!
I agree wholeheartedly! Whatever is changed in the story after you submit to a magazine is part of the process of being published. Just like rejections, you can't take these things personally! I, for one, will keep submitting!
As I recall, the Bauer contract gives the editor the right to "augment" a story, so that should cover making any changes they consider necessary. A signed contract is an agreement between the author and the publisher. That, after all, is the business side of writing. I am grateful that there is still an American magazine that publishes short fiction.
I think what Anonymous is responding to is not the customary editing that once occurred with our WW stories but the virtual rewriting that has accompanied the new format of the magazine and departure of Patty Gaddis. Of course I like the pay--we all do--but if I said I was thrilled with the almost total rewrite of my recent parking place story, I'd be telling a big fib. I work hard on those stories, and I usually share my successes with family but not this one; it wasn't really my writing, and it didn't look improved to me or anyone else who read both versions. I'm also disappointed with my recent track record. I've had twenty-plus WW stories published, but recently only one out of fourteen submissions, and I don't think my style has changed. Most recently, I'm trying to add more thumping, leaping, trembly hearts and chills down the spine to fit the new tone of the stories, and I guess they know their readership, but I would think a more modern woman would need less of that. I do appreciate Alex's friendliness, though. If we had to lose Patty, I'm glad we got her. I intend to make a few more attempts to get my name up in WW lights, so to speak.
If you're going to be a writer, you'll be edited. If you don't like it, keep your work hidden on your laptop and never submit it out into the world. If you want to be a writer, be brave and make sure you have tough skin. I feel blessed to have my work published.
As for A Sweet Change of Heart, I really enjoyed this story. Nicely done, Delsora!
Loved this story also.
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