Tagline: After 15 years of dreaming of her high school crush, Daniel, Emily fears she'll never find love. But when an Easter festival brings the two old friends back together again, she finds new hope for the future...and maybe even for love
"I'm sure you hear a lot with those ears." - OMG. So funny.
The little girl's dress was tangled up in knots. So was Emily, in a different way.
I wish to continue our conversation over dinner tonight. I promise not to wear the ears.
Also, you know that phrase, "show, don't tell?" That advice is a little misleading because sometimes you want to show and sometimes you'll want to tell. In Woman's World stories, often those transitions in which time passes, are an excellent place to tell. This story had a good example of that.
As the party began and the children tore into their eggs with glee, Emily couldn't help but feel disappointed. And later as she ushered her niece back to the car, opening the door to climb in, she heaved a long sigh.
Just like that, we've sped past the entire party and gotten back to the part that is of most interest--Emily and Daniel. She's also made this small paragraph the "black moment," during which Emily (and the reader) think that all is lost. Making things work double-duty is always a good idea in a Woman's World story.
Photo by Mark Mitchell (via Flickr cc license)
5 comments:
Kate, I loved this story and thought it was well written, but must admit I had no clue what 'the girl's dress was tied up in knots' meant.
Kate,
First, thanks so much for the romance deadline updates as I'm not on facebook.
The old flame story is so romantic. Imagine what that must be like, to hold onto those emotions for a long time and then feelings are expressed. Suddenly, it's like when grey skies transition to blue, you feel so alive. I loved the line "A loaded silence filled the space between them." I saw that not only as the silence and space they were experiencing, but also the silence and space that kept them apart in the first place.
BTW, is the WW yahoo group still active? When I attempt to get on I see no sign of any action and I can't gain access beyond the first page.
First, thank you for the kind words. This was my first WW story and it's always a little scary when your "baby" is out in the world. I'm so happy my first review was such a lovely one. :)
I also wanted to answer Pat's question. That was an editorial change. Originally it was the ribbons on the little girl's Easter bonnet. Maybe WW thought there were too many hats already mentioned and they changed it to ribbons on a dress.
Cute story, Kara.
Kara, oh I see the word ribbons was left out. Thanks.
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