by T.R. McClure from the October 9, 2023 issue
Tagline: Grandma Rose had a craving for apple butter, but Rosemary never imagined her hunt to please her grandmother could lead ot a meant-to-be love.
Stream of Consciousness Observations:
I love how grandma makes the rounds, staying with different family members! What a great idea!
Oh, I love roadside fruit stands, especially the ones in Hawaii! I discovered apple bananas at one of them. If you've never had an apple banana, you must try them. The roadside ones are better than the ones in the grocery store.
The cute guy behind the counter smiled. -- Ah, I'm finally finding out the narrator is a woman. If you're writing in the first person point of view, it's a good idea to let your reader know as soon as you can if it's a man or a woman. In this story, it could have been back when Grandma Rose said "Thanks, honey." She could have said, "Thanks, Rosemary."
Windblown hair -- love that.
Flirtatious farmer -- love that alliteration!
"You don't know what you're missing." -- We have the second mention of this saying. There should be a third one at the end of the story to adhere to the loose rule of three.
I like that her name is a combo of both her grandmothers' names.
Well, we actually got two more mentions of "You don't know what you're missing," so a bonus!
He takes her hand. Hm. I know this is a common occurrence in Woman's World stories, but to me, this seems like too intimate a gesture for the situation. If a farmstand guy reached for my hand, even if he was cute, I'd think it was a little weird.
My grandfather raised dairy cows until we expanded the orchard. -- OH! This is the farm where Grandma Rose played with her friend!
Oh, this is a tiny mistake...he said Gram had finished the batch of apple butter, but when they go into the house, it's bubbling on the stove.
It's the same picture! Oh, that's excellent. I didn't see that coming. I thought she'd find out through conversation or meeting the grandma whose name is Olivia.
Fantastic story!
Photo by Jennifer Boyer via Flickr Creative Commons License
2 comments:
Radiant brilliance in your post! Insightful, well-articulated, and a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing your valuable perspective.
I am so behind again on reading my WW stories. Thank, Kate.
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