A Whale of a Time

by Veda Boyd Jones from the July 15, 2024 issue

Tagline: On a summer cruise to Alaska with his dad, Marshall met Abby, who was traveling with her aunt. Soon, sparks fly.

Observations: It's a strange coincidence that I am doing some serious research on an Alaskan cruise for my extended family-- my mom (87 years old and still kicking), my siblings and their families and me and my family! So I immediately identified with the people in this story. I am a bit jealous though because on my whale watching excursion, we saw whales, but only with binoculars.

By the way, if you've never cruised to Alaska, put it on your bucket list. There is no cruise that is like it in the world. The views are majestic and you feel so close to nature.

Back to the story...most of it happens during dinner, but what a dinner! Marshall and Abby really make a connection. We see that they both care deeply about the elder members of their respective families. We see that conversation between the two of them comes easily. Then, on the whale watching trip, Marshal realizes Abby is very special and the ending is perfect.

We even see a second romance budding between the dad and aunt. A twofer!

The only thing that gave me pause was when Marshall declared of Abby's ex, "He was fool!" That came across a little stilted to me. I'd have preferred something more like "What an idiot." Or, "What a lamebrain." Or, "He obviously didn't deserve you."

Photo by Mark Gunn via Flickr CC license

A Star-Spangled July Reunion

by Mina Beckett from the July 1, 2024 issue

Tagline: After a year had gone by, Sophia was stunned to see Jake at the town's Fourth of July event...but the duo picked up right where they left off.

Off the Cuff Literally As I Read Observations: This story is excelling at describing the setting. From the sights, sounds, smells the author depicted, I feel like I'm right there experiencing it all.

Ah, Jake Parker...the one who got away. He's obviously strong, judging from the effortless way he's carrying the crates of refreshments. 

I am wondering how old Sophia is.

She's been thinking about him for a year? I can't help but wonder why she hasn't at least gone into his restaurant with a girlfriend to test the waters.

More super amazing description...

As she weaved through the throngs of youngsters, their sticky fingers reachign for sugary treats and running with boundless energy.

That was only one sentence, but it does so much to create atmosphere.

"Jake...do you remember last year after the fireworks? We were cleaning up and we...well, we talked about everything and anything. It was really nice."

Yeah, Sophia! Way to be assertive! 

Okay, he cups her jaw. Yeah, this makes me uncomfortable. I would have had him place a hand on her shoulder or just meet her gaze squarely, but it seems that my boundaries for physical touch and intimacy between fictional couples are way more sensitive than many writers' and the editors'. (If you're interested, there's a hierarchy of physical intimacy and here's an article about it.) This isn't the first time a character touches another one in a story and I think it's too much too fast. This might be purposeful. A man cupping a woman's jaw is undoubtedly romantic and intimate, so perhaps this is the intention of Beckett and the editors--to add romance. 

As far as writing your own stories, write what you believe your characters would do. Use your own judgment. If you're like me, not so touchy-feely right away, there are plenty of ways to increase romance and dial up the intimacy that don't involve rushing up that hierarchy. You can describe the tone and volume of the voice, have him touch her hand or, as I said before, meet her gaze. 

Okay, so it's much later and this happens:

She leaned into him, her head finding a natural resting place on his shoulder as they watched the show.

And his brushes his lips against her hair and they hold hands too. I was fine with all of this because of the time that had passed. They'd spent the entire day together. For me, that's enough time for their relationship to progress to step 8 on the hierarchy.

All in all, this was a fantastic story full of fantastic setting descriptions and a heroine who finds the courage to make the first move.

Photo by Nigel Howe via Flickr CC license.

Silhouette in Full View

by Wendell J. Potter from the June 17, 2024 issue

Tagline: While on their outing to celebrate Father's Day, Anna and her father have two sweet encounters that soon lead to true love.

Observations: I loved seeing Anna and her dad's relationship. Truth in fact, I'm a little jealous. My dearly departed dad and I weren't close. 

I think it was awesome to get a twofer, too! Two romances in one story. I've read all of Mr. Potter's stories and I can say with confidence, they are much improved, which just goes to show you practice makes perfect.

Note the omniscient point of view. I'm not the best at writing this POV. I like to be in one character's head or the other's. But it's nice to see that Woman's World is flexible with points of view.

Photo by Rolands Lakis via Flickr CC license