by Shelley Cooper from the July 8, 2024 issue
Tagline: When Ian was taking care of his nephew, Jonah, while his parents were away, he ahd to find a way to keep him from becoming homesick. But little did Ian know, his tactic to make Jonah smile would lead to an instant connection with his beautiful neighbor, Claire...and turn into true love.
Observations: I loved the idea of the kid's joke stand! It's the lemonade stand turned on its head. What a great way to subvert that trope. Ms. Cooper is a master and this description of the hero is so good.
A rumbling chuckle drew Claire's attention to the man standing watch a few feet behind Jonah. He had eyes the color of ripe blueberries, tousled brown hair and an off-kilter smile that did funny things to her sense of balance.
I love "rumbling chuckle," that his eyes were the color of "ripe blueberries," and that he had an "off-kilter smile."
I loved that Ian asked her out by cracking a joke. So clever.
This story was a 10 for me!
Photo by Neil Conway via Flickr CC License
8 comments:
Another great critique. I'm sorry for not commenting, but I do read every post of yours and find them very helpful. So thank you.
I thought this was a clever, well-written story.
This was an awesome story from premise to the end. I loved the characters, the setting, and the whole idea. Wonderfully written.
Loved everything about this story. What a delight to read! 💗
I appreciate that, Beverley!
I can always count on you to comment, Sandy. It really helps motivate me to keep doing this!
We are in complete agreement!
Yup! Me too!
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