Ramblin' Rose

by Shelley Cooper from the September 15, 2014 issue

Tagline

Little Rose was as cute as could be...and so was her Uncle James!

In a Nutshell

Natalie lives next door to a hottie who's babysitting his niece while her parents are on a cruise. His niece unwittingly acts as matchmaker.

Observations

Everything old is new again. This is another story that had elements from a story I'd written for Woman's World years ago. My story also had a niece with parents on a cruise. The grandparents were supposed to babysit, but I think there was a medical emergency and the uncle had to take over.

I thought this story was adorable. The ending was super sweet and heartwarming.

One thing I wanted to point out was the structure of this story was a little different in that the backstory was in the middle of the story and brought out via conversation between James and Natalie.   Also, it was the niece's backstory, not that of the heroine or hero. As for them, we are just to assume they've been friendly as neighbors but never gone further than that.

Another thing...the dream. What a useful device. When a character dreams, it's a handy way to foreshadow and expose more of the character to the reader--his/her fears, wishes, or backstory. In "Ramblin' Rose" it's used to beef up the ending and help the reader dream too.

In an aside, I have a hydrangea bush with flowers like the one in the picture! I actually also have a next door neighbor named James, but he's married with kids. LOL

Also, reminder that when the author's name is in bold, it's also a hyperlink to all their story analyses on this blog.

Photo credit: Derek Ramsey via Wikimedia Commons

The Fifth Wheel

by Tamara Shaffer from the September 1, 2014 issue

Tagline
It looked like Julie's summer was going to end on a romantic note!

In a Nutshell
Sandra goes to the carnival with two couples. A handsome dude rear-ends her on the bumper cars. Later they ride a roller coaster together. The ferris wheel is their last ride...or is it?

Observations
The carnival is the type of setting that Woman's World loves. It can be romantic and it has that old-timey Americana feel to it.

Sandra skated the line for me because she started out so negative. Five paragraphs of a bummer attitude. But then, in the sixth paragraph, Sandra turned herself around. If I were a beginning writer, I'd be wary of doing this type of thing in a Woman's World story. They aren't keen on negativity.

This was an average story for me, nothing particularly special made it stand out.

Photo credit: Solipsist via Wikimedia Commons

Welcome to the Neighborhood

by Martha Freeman from the September 8, 2014 issue

Tagline

Elsa was unsettled by her recent move to a new home...until she met her kind (and handsome) new neighbor

In a Nutshell

Elsa is new to the neighborhood. On her walks to and from work she notices some free tomatoes on a neighbor's stoop. After taking a few, she leaves a tin of cookies in thanks. One day, the tomato grower makes contact and a date.

Observations

This story reminded me a lot of my very first Woman's World sale back in 2005. I think I include it in my basics class packet. It was called "Her Lucky Stars." In that story there were also notes between strangers. So it was fun to be taken back.

Today I'm going to go through the story paragraph by paragraph and point out the function of the paragraph. I hope this will be helpful.

1, 2: Freeman starts out with Elsa's backstory--something in longer fiction we tend to frown upon--and we immediately get a feel for what type of woman she is. It's a great two paragraph look at Elsa.

3: We see her current situation--why she moved, that she will now be walking to work, what her job is.

4: Here's where we see "the problem." She doesn't quite feel at home yet.

5, 6: The story finally starts. Elsa comes upon a situation. We "meet" the hero via his note and his harvest.

7: Elsa makes a decision.

8: This is a transitional paragraph that "tells" us some time has passed and what went on. I often talk about how telling--as opposed to showing--is often necessary in a Woman's World story.

9-15: New scene. We've entered the second act of the story. With the help and prodding of her friend, Elsa makes another decision. She's going to make contact with the tomato man.

16: Transition in which we watch Elsa put her plan in action. She's being assertive and taking control of her own life, not waiting for things to happen to her.

17: New scene and the beginning of act three. It opens with the "black moment" when the reader thinks all is lost.

18-27: Contact! They officially meet. They talk.

28: Elsa makes a move. We're moving the plot forward.

29-33: More of a connection is made between them as they talk and make a date to cook together.

34: We end with the optimistic "Happily Ever After, Eventually Maybe" ending that is so prevalent in Woman's World stories. We also see that the problem we saw in paragraph 4 is solved.

I hope this look at the skeleton of this story helps you construct your own.

Photo credit: Ramashng via Wikimedia Commons

Sweet Treats

This is gelato, not ice cream, but the pic was so beautiful

by April Serock from the August 25, 2014 issue

Tagline

One thing Jilly knew for sure: the good looking guy in the white pick-up loved ice cream as much as she did!

In A Nutshell

Jilly owns a drive-through ice cream shop. One of her regular customers is cute and he comes every night. Eventually he asks her out.

Observations

Nieces and nephews are handy props in Woman's World stories.

1. They act as decoys--when the author wants us to believe that one of the protagonists is married with children.

2. They can be matchmakers who want their aunt/uncle to find someone special.

3. They can be tools to show that the hero or heroine is a wonderful person who spends time with their younger relatives.

4. They also come in handy when you need the hero or heroine to attend a certain event or do something that they might normally not, again, showing they are being a good aunt/uncle.

In this story, the niece served as that last one. What a complete surprise to find out the hero didn't really like ice cream. Were you like me, reading along and thinking to yourself, "Wow, that guy really likes ice cream?" (And also, "Of course, he's a man and can afford to eat ice cream every night and not get fat, darn it.")

I liked that double whammy ending. First you have that "awww" moment when he confesses he had been coming night after night just to see her. Then, you find out he's been giving the ice cream to his niece all this time, which made me laugh. Also, the "secret" of his lactose intolerance was aided and abetted by the tagline Johnene chose. Before we even start the story, we go in believing he loves ice cream.

I thought this story was very cute. Plus, I thought the idea of a drive-through ice cream place to be clever.

Photo credit: Solitude via Wikimedia Commons

Sew Much Happiness!

by Marti Attoun from the August 18, 2014 issue

Tagline

Julia was an expert seamstress, but it seemed John Garwood might be the man to stitch up her broken heart!

In a Nutshell

Julia is surprised when a man with an emergency alteration bursts into the store. When he comes back to pick up the pants, he brings muffins and asks her to lunch.

Observations

Characterization -- This story had two likable characters. Julia is happy and isn't one to dwell on her problems. She is successful. She loves what she does. Her life is terrific, but she wouldn't mind a little romance.

Enter John. He's funny. (Duct tape!) He's thoughtful (the muffin) and resourceful (gets the lowdown from Sarah at the bakery.)

However, the only thing that sort of made this story stand out for me was that she was a seamstress. That was a profession I don't see a lot within the pages of Woman's World. Other than that, it was, in my opinion, average.

Photo credit: KoS via Wikimedia Commons

Marry Me

by Shoshana Brown from the August 11, 2014 issue

Tagline

Katy loved Jack, but she didn't think they were ready for marriage. Jack didn't agree. Who was right?

In a Nutshell

Jack proposes before going overseas for a tour of duty. Katy isn't sure he's the one. She realizes shortly after he leaves that he is  The One.

Observations

Story Structure - You know the formula: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl. Well, this story created its own formula: Boy proposes to girl, girl loses her mind, boy gets girl.

I can't recall seeing a story begin with a proposal before--maybe you long-time readers can help me out here. I think that might be the first time I've ever seen this. And I loved it. Not only that, but the black moment occurred at the beginning too. Amazing. Right off the bat, we feel that tension when she puts him off. We worry right at the beginning whether she'll come to her senses, or worse, that Jack will be unable to return to her. Which brings me to my next observation.

Risk Management -  This was a risky story to submit. We all felt the fear Katy felt because Jack was in dangerous territory and might never come back, and usually Woman's World shies away from nasty stuff like that. I'm kind of surprised they went with it. On the other hand, it's clearly a wonderful story. It even made me tear up. So, maybe they said, "Screw it. We're going with it," because it had such a heartwarming overall feel.

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Falling for You

by Suzanne Jackson from the August 4, 2014 issue

Tagline

Kathy's sprained ankle was a real pain--but it turned out to have an upside!

In a Nutshell

Kathy meets a man while waiting to get her ankle x-rayed. They connect. He invites her to coffee afterward.

Observations

Cliche Done Well: At first I thought this story was going to be the same old sprained ankle story and was prepared to be...well, bored. But I was pleasantly surprised. I liked the humor. I liked the good start these characters got off to. The dialogue was very realistic. I really loved the ending. So even though I've seen probably fifty sprained ankle stories over the years, I still enjoyed this one.

Photo Credit: Keith Parker via Wikimedia Commons

Running into Mr. Right

by Patty Murray from the July 28, 2014 issue

Tagline

Patricia never expected to fall so hard for a man she'd just met...

In a Nutshell

Patricia is texting while walking and gets knocked over by a cute jogger. Her phone breaks, but she won't let him replace it. He asks her to dinner instead and months later, they end up a couple.

Observations

Characterization: We got a lot about the heroine this time. Murray showed us how strong and independent she is, professionally and personally. We see that she's ready to meet the man of her dreams. Murray also showed us the hero's good qualities: he takes care of himself (exercises), he has a strong sense of right and wrong (offers to pay for a new phone), and he's thoughtful (lets her use his phone to call her mom).

I've said this many times before and I'll say it again, when you do a good job with characterization, readers are more apt to believe the two characters have a bright future together, which is what we want.

Pacing: Did you notice the revved up pace at the end where we fast forward to months after their first date? If you're a regular reader of Woman's World, you know how unusual this is. I liked it here. It only took one sentence, and it made it easier for us to believe the last line--that he really was Mr. Right--because they'd been dating for months.

I loved the last line, too. Very cute!

Photo credit: This is actually a decal to put on your phone so it only looks like it's broken! You can get them at DecalTop.com.

Yours, Mine, Ours

by Jan Pierce from the July 21, 2014 issue

Tagline

When new neighbors meet, who knows what can happen?

In a Nutshell

A divorced mother of two sons, Greta can't get her lawn mower started. The new neighbor next door helps. She invites him and his daughters to dinner. The girls compare them to the Brady Bunch.

Observations

I'm afraid I have to put on my critical hat. I liked the story, except for one thing, and the one thing ties into the entire theme of the story. I couldn't buy that these little girls, aged 12 and 9, would know about The Brady Bunch. 

I dislike when pop culture references don't synch with the age of the character who is making them. For instance, I'm very careful to make sure if my character is 25 years old, he is not quoting Hogan's Heroes. Of course, it is possible that these young girls have seen that show on DVD. If there had been a line explaining that their dad bought the boxed set for them for Christmas one year and it's their favorite, I would have been fine with that. But there was no such explanation, which made me shake my head, unfortunately. 

Except for that one omission, I liked the story, but in the long run, I'm not all that important. Johnene is the important one and she liked it as is and paid Ms. Pierce $800 for it. 

Photo credit: ABC Television via Wikimedia Commons

My People!

There is no way to explain how I happened to run into two Woman's World people at the Romance Writers of America Conference other than Fate.

I was sitting at breakfast and a woman asked if anyone was sitting next to me and I said no. Now, you have to understand this is a giant room with hundreds of people. Lo and behold, it was Lynn Cahoon! We squealed! We hugged! We smiled and chatted all through breakfast. It was so much fun to meet someone from the Woman's World World in person. (Sorry about the horrid selfie. I suck at selfies.)

Then, literally five minutes after I was finished with breakfast, I was in the Goody Room putting the last of my promotional pens in the basket I had brought. (The Goody Room is a room where authors can leave items of all sorts for other writers to grab. Pens are very popular, but I picked up mints, a fan, lollipops, a screen cleaner, lip balm, among other things.) I was about to leave when someone said, "Kate?"

There was Linda Nielsen! Again, there was squealing. There was hugging. Neither of us could believe we'd found each other among the 2000 some writers attending the conference.

It was so wonderful to not only meet her, but sit next to her at a workshop on how to "Quiety Make Six Figures in Indie Publishing." We both left that workshop with stars in our eyes about what kind of options are open to authors today. 

Linda, Lynn, I am SO glad we met. If you're going to the New York conference, we have to get together, all three of us!

A Good Home

by Elizabeth Palmer from the July 15, 2014 issue

Tagline

Lily's trip to the shelter brought more than two sweet kittens into her life!

In a Nutshell

When Lily wants to adopt two cats from the shelter, the previous owner, who has been transferred overseas, wants to meet her first. Lily is touched by how devoted he is to his pets. When he returned unexpectedly, He wants to see Lily as much as he does the cats.

Observations

Cliches with a twist: I would venture to say at least one Woman's World story a year revolves around a pet adoption or has an animal shelter as a setting. I believe the reason is, adopting a pet is an altruistic thing to do. It shows good character and we want our hero and heroine to be admirable.

The trick to writing and selling a story with this animal adoption/shelter trope is to make it your own by putting a twist on it. In this case, Palmer had the (male) owner request that he meet the potential adopter. This tweaked my interest because it was an odd, but understandable request. Not only that, but it went a long way establishing what a caring man Adam is.

Safety First: It can be a dangerous world for a single woman. Always keep in mind that you don't want to portray your heroines doing stupid things, like agreeing to meet a man she met online in a secluded place. I noticed that when the pet adoption facilitator asked if Lily would agree to meet the cat owners, we found out that the man was her neighbor. It's not like the man provided ID and clearance from the FBI that he did not have a criminal record, but the fact that he was the woman's neighbor provides a tiny bit of security. It's a small detail, but one I thought worth mentioning.

Photo credit: Denniss via Wikimedia Commons

Work Buddies

by Melody Murray from the July 7, 2014 issue

Tagline

Grace knew that things don't always work out as you hope they will. But, she discovered, sometimes they do!

In a Nutshell

Grace flips houses. She hires the handsome Randy to help her with the heavy tasks. She thinks he's not interested in her until the job is finished and she finds out that he was only waiting until she wasn't his boss anymore.

Observations

Description: In general, because of the very small word count allowed by Woman's World, I usually counsel writers to minimize descriptions of characters. However, this story had a quite hefty description of Randy.

The friend was right. Randy was worth any two helpers she had hired before. He was strong and precise in his work. He was also very handsome.

The "I would love for him to be attracted to me" kind of handsome. The "why do I have to always be such a mess when he's around" kind of handsome.

His dark hair fell across his forehead[,] calling attention to his blue eyes. As if that weren't enough, the T-shirts he wore stretched most attractively across his broad shoulders.

Three whole paragraphs! This is quite unusual, however, please notice that the author did not just describe Randy, she also established the fact that Grace is attracted to him.

Characterization and Gender Roles: Woman's World loves traditional values, however, has slowly but surely included "new-fashioned" ideas like gender-norm reversing. Here, you see Grace restoring a house. If there ever was a male-dominated job, construction worker is it, right? So when writing your stories, or looking for ideas, take those gender norms and turn them on their ears.

Photo credit: BaytownBert via Wikimedia Commons

Fireworks

by Pamela Hart from the June 30, 2014 issue

Tagline

With her ex out of the picture and her dog on vacation, Lindy would be alone on the Fourth. Or so it seemed...

In a Nutshell

Lindy brings her dog to the kennel every year because fireworks scare him. There she meets the son of the kennel owners. They agree to meet the next day to watch the fireworks together.

I'm going to try a different set-up with topics and see if that works. Bear with me. I'm always looking to improve things.

Observations

Story Ideas: This is one of those stories that makes me think, why didn't *I* think of this? It reminds me of a great tip for finding story ideas.

Think of a minor problem that you or someone you know has, like a dog that freaks out on the Fourth of July. Build a story around it. I have a cupboard with a  broken latch. I think to myself, what if a woman didn't know how to fix that and knew her new neighbor was handy that way? What if she offered to bake him cookies or a pie in exchange for fixing her cupboard? OR, I think, what if I put a twist on it and make it a man who doesn't have a drill, but has noticed his neighbor working on projects in her garage? Maybe he offers the baked goods in exchange so we break free of the gender norms... See what I mean. Let your brain go places.

Characterization: Notice how Lindy has just broken up with her boyfriend. She has some "woe is me" feelings. That's natural, but in a Woman's World story, you don't want to belabor that. In fact, you should show the character overcoming that and moving forward. That's the type of optimism and mindset that Woman's World likes.

Driving to the kennel, Lindy thought about tomorrow--she was looking forward to the parade and the fireworks, but the picnic? No. After her break-up with Josh six months earlier, Lindy would be flying solo in her group of married or seriously dating friends. She sighed. She was not going to let Josh ruin the holiday.

Very succinct and to the point. You can feel Lindy's determination and admire her for it. Keep this in mind when dealing with a character with a "tragic" past.

Photo credit Ltshears via Wikimedia Commons

Shakespeare and Love

by Tamara Shaffer from the June 23, 2014 issue

Tagline: Jessica had never realized just how romantic Romeo and Juliet really was!

In a Nutshell: Jessica and her little boy meet a man and a little girl at a statue of Shakespeare that they visit often. One day it rains and the four of them have cocoa together. Oh, and the little girl is his niece and he's single. Score!

Observations: There was a lot about this story that made me think, "This was written by a pro," and it was. Shaffer has several stories published by Woman's World.

Realism--young children do crave repetition, so I thought the fact that Billy wanted to keep visiting the statue was perfect. And if you've had kids, you know they like to do things "all by myself." So, another realistic touch there that will ring true for a good portion of Woman's World readers.

Misdirection--when magicians direct your attention one way while they're doing something sneaky somewhere else, it's called misdirection. Shaffer did this when she had the hero say, "...your mom'll have dinner on the table." Of course, as seasoned Woman's World story readers, we know he's available. Personally, I suspected he was divorced, like she was.

Transition: Even the three rainy days that kept us inside didn't completely erase him from my mind. That part was terrific. With 800 words, you don't have a lot of wiggle room and this sentence both establishes a passage of time and shows us her frame of mind.

Foreshadowing: I hope you noticed the author foreshadowing the rainstorm. This ups the tension a tiny bit for the reader. We feel a light sense of impending doom or romance, depending upon your outlook. LOL

Humor: 'But soft!'" He struck a dramatic pose. "'What light through yonder window breaks?'" He winked at me. "I hope it's the sun coming out." Loved that. I also loved this line: "See you tomorrow at the park--same time, same statue?"

Characterization: We want to read about heroines with whom we could be friends and I appreciate humility and the ability to make fun of yourself as Jessica did at the very end of the story where she pokes fun at her unfamiliarity with Shakespeare's work.

"As Romeo--or no, I think it was Juliet--said, 'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'"

I giggled. "Hey even I remember that line!" I said, thinking, I couldn't agree more.

A Real Prince

by Kathy Hendrickson from the June 16, 2014 issue

Tagline: It appeared a little bit of bad luck was going to bring a lot of happiness to Princess Amanda...

In a Nutshell: Amanda is a princess-for-hire but gets a flat tire on her way to her first gig. A man comes to her rescue.

Observations: I feel like I've read a story about a birthday party princess before, but it doesn't really matter. Story elements have a way of reappearing in Woman's World stories. This was still fun and cute.

I haven't talked about story structure in a long time, so today's a good day for that.

The first part of the story introduces the heroine, her situation, the hero and his daughter. It takes us continuously all the way from Amanda's flat tire to the party.

Then, notice there is a "tell" paragraph to transition us to after the party. There's no room to show everything in a Woman's World story, so when writing your own stories, make strategic use of summarizing the action like Hendrickson did. This transitional paragraph kind of serves as the second "act" of the story.

In the last portion of the story, there is no "black moment," per se. You have that worry in the back of your mind that Eric is married because he has a young daughter, but really--this is a Woman's World story. The reader knows deep down he's single, and yet the tension is still there subtly. Black moments are good, but not necessary.

Photo Credit: Alesgab93 via Wikimedia Commons

A Dream of You

by Barbara Glass from the June 9, 2014 issue

Tagline: A conversation with an old friend, a vivid dream...and suddenly, Helen's thoughts were filled with Robbie.

In a Nutshell: After talking with an old high school friend, Helen is reminded of her first boyfriend, Robbie. She immerses herself in photos from the period and loses track of the time. Her friend comes to pick her up for their lunch/movie date, but just as they're leaving, Robbie calls.

Observations: I've said it before, and I'll say it again--Woman's World romance stories are all about possibilities. Often, first meet stories end with someone asking someone out on a date and getting a "yes," and the reader is left feeling optimistic for the couple.

In this case, we don't even get that far, but we still feel Helen's giddy excitement. But I'll admit I have a soft spot for old flame stories. There's a guy in my past that crops up in my thoughts every once in a while.

So, the story is very much in line with what we expect from a Woman's World romance. However, it's also contrary in that Robbie doesn't even show up until the very end--and he's not even there in person. It's only his voice on the phone! The majority of the story is reminiscing via the conversation between Helen and her friend. Usually, I don't like stories that don't show the hero and heroine interacting for a decent amount of time because it can make it hard for the reader to believe they really made a connection and have a bright future as a couple.

However, this one worked for me. I think maybe because it was an old flame story, so we almost have a connection built in, assuming they're still compatible after all those years. That assumption I'm willing to take as a reader, because I'm hopeful and optimistic. I think also because the story ends on the cusp of their conversation, the author isn't forcing us to believe two people just met and connected enough to make future plans. Glass wisely stopped us short of that. She also used the friend cleverly too.

Sarah, the friend, leaves at the very end of the story, literally closing the door on what's going on with Helen and Robbie on the phone. I felt like I was perching on Sarah's shoulder as she left the lovebirds to catch up with each other and it was as if all her hope for her friend was transferred to me.

In my opinion, this is what Woman's World--the entire magazine--tries to do. Lift us up. Show us that life is good, and if at the moment it's not quite so good, things can and will get better.

Photo from HerCampus.com

Imagine That

by Kathleen E. Dunlap from the June 2, 2014 issue

Tagline: Karli was a hard worker, but she was also a dreamer--and when she met Tony, her flights of fancy took a romantic turn!

In a Nutshell: Karli owns a diner. Her oven breaks. The repairman is cute. He comes back later to sample her biscuits.

Observations: This is going to be a rough one. I didn't sleep well last night, but I've put off my analysis for too long already.

Let me start with what I liked. In the last third of the story was a part I really enjoyed. It's the moment when Karli realizes how attracted to Tony she is.

The diner was busy that night. As promised, Tony had repaired the oven by noon. When she paid him, their hands had touched. Remembering, she felt her face warm.

That was perfectly done. We want to see that the characters are attracted to one another.

I also liked the last line and how it ties in the title and Carli's Walter-Mitty-like daydreams.

On the other hand, many things pulled me out of the story.

1. I've watched way too many shows about restaurants so there were a few things that seemed off to me. For one, June the cook goes to the store for cinnamon. Restaurants do not get stuff from grocery stores. They have them delivered by suppliers. But let's say that they legitimately ran out unexpectedly before their order comes. Then I wonder what kind of business owner she is. If you see you're running low on something, you get more before you run out. I suspect this was all because the author didn't want June there when the repairman came, but I don't think it was necessary. She was making pies. She could have just stayed on task and let Karli deal with the repairman.

2. One of my pet peeves is using a word incorrectly.

As June whisked away, Karli poked her head inside the oven...

"Whisk" is a word that needs an object. It's like "planted." You wouldn't say, "As June planted." You need to mention what she's planting. At the very least, it should have said, "As June whisked herself away."

3. The next thing that confused me was how Karli knew his name was Tony. I'm assuming he was wearing a name tag, but that isn't mentioned in the story. The humor about his name is kind of cute, but if you're going to crack that type of joke, you need to work it. There should have been a little more about it than him saying his parents met in San Francisco. It should become an inside joke between them. Them and the readers, by the way.

Wow. Epiphany there about humor for me. I never realized that before. After all these years analyzing these stories, I love learning stuff!

So, to summarize: if you crack a little joke, don't miss out on the opportunity to make it an inside joke, between the hero and heroine and the reader, too. This will add humor--always a good thing in a Woman's World story--and create a connection between the reader and the characters.

4. Karli asks him to check the light on the stove hood. I'm pretty sure commercial stove tops aren't like those we have at home. I would bet money they don't have lights, only huge exhaust fans to suck up all the grease and smoke. So once again, I'm pulled out of the story by doubt. BUT, your average reader probably isn't as nitpicky as I am and they probably got more sleep.

5. Last thing that bothered me was a question I had near the end. Karli tells June she'll take out a basket of biscuits. First of all, June's the cook. She wouldn't be taking them out. But my real question was, did Karli know they were for Tony? It's not made clear and it's really important that we know.

If she did know he was there, then we learn something about her--that she's not afraid to go after what she wants. We may admire her for this. :) It helps us understand who Karli is as a person.

If she didn't know he was there, then it's a complete surprise and we want to see that surprise unfold into happiness when she sees him and realizes he came back, perhaps because he's interested.

So, see what I mean? Because we don't know the situation, we are cheated of feeling either. I'll be interested to find out what you all thought.

Image from Wikimedia Commons

How It Begins

by Tracie Rae Griffith from the  May 26, 2014 issue

Tagline: Jodi and Nick had noticed each other in their writing class, but it took a simple mix-up to get them together...

In a Nutshell: Jodi takes the wrong coat after writing class and is sitting in the cafe across the street. When the mix-up is figured out, the owner, a handsome dude, of course, brings her her coat and they have coffee.

Observations: This story resonated with me because I took an adult creative writing class way back when. Unfortunately, there were no cute guys in it and the teacher wasn't particularly good, but it was nice to read about two people who have the same dream to be published. I also love drinking double tall lattes, so Jodi and I have something else in common.

I recently was at a workshop on creating likable characters, and the presenter talked about the importance of making the heroine someone you'd want to be friends with. I think Jodi here fits that bill for me.

I haven't talked about feminine initiative in a while, so maybe this is a good time. Woman's World cherishes the traditional, but also embraces some of the more modern ideas, like women being pro-active when it comes to their love lives. Your best bet is to aim for having both.

For instance, Jodi buys him a latte, and jumps right in telling him she admires his blog. And yet, the hero, Nick, wasn't just a do-nothing bump on a log. He took the initiative at the end suggesting that they spend the next several hours together and that the night might be the beginning of something.

One other thing I wanted to point out is that both these characters have goals they're working toward. This is a quality that people admire, and so it makes them likable. I mean, haven't you ever watched a movie where none of the characters seem to be redeemable people? None of them are likable? I have, and I usually don't care for those types of movies. I don't like to spend time with mean, selfish, conniving, greedy and so on people, especially if I paid $10 to see them.

Photo credit: Broken Segue via Wikimedia Commons

Small-town Charm

by Rachel Carrera from the May 19, 2014 issue

Tagline: Cindy thought she would never adjust to small-town life--then she met someone special and changed her mind...

In a Nutshell: Cindy is offered a promotion in a small town. She visits the town to check it out. During her trip, she meets a guy who shows her how wonderful small-town life can be. Plus, he's cute!

Observations: This was a delightful story. We got a realistic situation/problem. The heroine can score a promotion, but she has to relocate to a small town.

We got a biased but open-minded heroine. She doesn't think she'll like the town, but is willing to check it out and see.

There's that small-town setting that Woman's World loves, even if only a small part of the story actually occurred in the town.

There's humor. I loved Evan's line--"Uh-oh. I'm not working fast enough for you?"

I especially liked the solution to the hotel problem. It was perfect and, for me, unexpected. OF COURSE, his sister and her husband own the hotel. It's a small town!!!

Usually, I like to see more interaction between the hero and heroine, but in this case, it was unnecessary.

Picture This

by Cynthia Acee from the May 5, 2014 issue

Tagline: Matt's sister tried to convince him that visualization would bring the perfect woman into his life. Matt didn't believe a word of it--or did he?

In a Nutshell: Matt finds a dog and takes it in for the night. The next morning the owner comes knocking at his door.

Observations: So much to like about this story. I liked the first person male POV. It's refreshing. We got to see Matt's open mind at work. The author showed him taking his sister's advice. We got to see what he thought of himself and that he had a nice healthy level of self-esteem. In my opinion, a lot of what was great about this story was the characterization.

I also enjoyed the humor.

"...you do want to meet someone, don't you?"

"Of course," I admitted.

"Then visualize, brother dear," she coaxed. "Visualize."

"But visualize what? The dog or the woman?"

Acee plotted well with the grocer being the middleman who put the owner and finder in touch with each other. And the ending? Superb. She came full circle to bring the visualization back in very neatly.

Photo credit: Janine via Wikimedia Commons

Aglow with Love

by Michelle Martin Dobbins from the May 12, 2014 issue

Tagline: Ann knew it was love that put the sparkle in her marriage...but she still missed the diamond she'd lost from her ring...

In a Nutshell: Ann lost the diamond in her engagement ring a while ago. Busy lives and a stretched budget have made it impossible to replace. Until now.

My apologies. I skipped an issue and went out of chronological order. Sorry!

Observations: Okay, I am going crazy! I read this and thought I've read this story before! The feeling was so strong, I went through the blog looking for my review of it. I couldn't find it, but if someone else remembers a story a while ago that had a couple going down to a lake for the romantic end of a story, please tell me!

Anyway, I thought this story was the perfect Woman's World mix of sentimentality and positive lifestyle. It's so common these days to see stories about divorce and unhappiness and well, people bitching, so it's nice to have Woman's World here to show examples of how to not succumb to that negativity. (On that note, have you looked at Closer? It's similar to other celebrity rags, but with positive stories, not dirt and scandal. I liked the issue I bought.)

In fact, let's do a comparison, just for fun.

WW: Ann gives a positive message to the bride-to-be in the opening scene.

"It's not about the sparkling diamond, it's about love--and you and Ted have plenty of that."

A Reality Show: A bride-to-be would most likely be criticizing the ring and comparing it to those of her friends and either finding it lacking or happy that it outshone theirs.

WW: We see Ann is reconciled with not having the diamond replaced. Her family comes first.

A Reality Show: The "star" of the show would probably be looking among all her other jewelry and wondering why she shouldn't just go to the jewelry store and upgrade her engagement ring herself.

WW: Ann is eager to go on the anniversary date.

A Reality Show: The woman might be "busy" doing something not really important and therefore is late to the anniversary dinner.

WW: The husband had worked for a long time to make his wife happy. Their love is reaffirmed.

A Reality Show: The ring would be flashier, but the marriage would not be fortified. The meaning of the gesture is lost when the recipient is gratitude-challenged and the giver is taken for granted.

Photo credit: Derek Ramsey via Wikimedia Commons

Harry Makes Some Magic

by Jenna Tousignant from the April 28, 2014 issue

Tagline: Rachael was too shy to tell Walker  how she felt about hi, so she let Harry Potter help her get the message across...

In a Nutshell: Rachael the librarian has a crush on a patron who is going through the Harry Potter series. She tucks a note inviting him to coffee inside the last volume.

Observations: I thought the premise of the story was cute. It reminded me of a co-worker who recently asked a guy out by giving him her phone number on the sleeve of his coffee drink. (Everyone in the store was on pins and needles wondering if he was going to call her. He did, but has a girlfriend. :( Alas.)

There wasn't a lot of interaction between the hero and heroine in the story and I missed that but am not sure if it's something that should have been there, considering the fact that at the end, they still haven't really had a date because the man hasn't read the note yet. It's all just hopeful, which I suppose is just fine. Woman's World is nothing if not cheerful and optimistic.

Although I suggest people have a dark moment in their stories, I wasn't sure the red herring sister was necessary. It didn't add anything to my enjoyment of the story. I think I would have preferred a little more conversation between Rachael and Walker. Maybe a discussion about which of the Potter books was the best, or which character was their favorite.

I'll be interested to hear what everyone else has to say.

Photo credit: Joe Mabel via Wikimedia Commons

An Accidental Meeting

by Nena Jover Kelty from the April 21, 2014 issue

Tagline: It looked as though young Danny's mishap would have happy consequences for his big brother and his pretty neighbor!

In a Nutshell: Big brother Eric comes home to visit. Little brother Danny breaks a windshield with his errant golf ball. The owner of the car almost threatens Danny's idyllic time with his big bro, but everything works out in the end because it's Woman's World!

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I love the interaction between the brothers. I didn't have a big brother, but if I could conjure one, Eric would be very much like him.

Oh, dear. I had a golf ball hit my rear windshield once. Big pain in the behind, but the culprit did come forward just like in the story, so that was good. :)

Okay, job interview...very clever and believable way of pushing the hero and heroine together after the initial meeting.

"Even a ten-year-old could see where this was going." -- Aww. I feel for the kid.

And perfect resolution. We see Eric holding onto his title of "good big brother." We see Danny not being a snotty brat. It's nice to see a kid being respectful and honest, even if the kid is fictional. We see Danny is okay with the three of them seeing the movie together and his logical and, again believable, reasoning.

Good solid story.

Photo credit: Derek Jensen via Wikimedia Commons

Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

by Mary Ann Joyce from the April 14, 2014 issue

Tagline: When Sophie broke up with her ex, she thought the music had gone out of her life. Then she met Aidan...

In a Nutshell: Sophie is getting over a break-up with a singer so she's not particularly up on singing herself anymore. Enter the man who works on the floor above hers. When she finds out he's going to karaoke, she can't resist.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I got halfway before I realized I hadn't stopped to make any comments. LOL Going back to rethink.

Although I personally hate going to listen to karaoke because bad singing makes me want to crawl into a hole and not come out, I think the idea of karaoke in a Woman's World story is cute.

I like the progression of Sophie's attraction toward Aidan and how we see the tiny little scenes.

LOL at what his mom used to say to him in church.

Okay. Done. LOVED IT. The character arc of Sophie, going from dejected, "washed up" singer, to a woman with optimism who sings with a new guy.

There's a reason why Johnene keeps buying Joyce's stories.

Photo credit: Treyhatfield via Wikimedia Commons

Second Chance at Love

by Tina Radcliffe from the March 31, 2014 issue

Tagline: Who knew a worried mother's rush to the emergency room would lead to romance? (Um, I did. LOL)

In a Nutshell: When Emily's daughter visits the emergency room with a "superficial laceration," Emily notices the handsome doctor. An affinity for beagles is agreed upon, then lo and behold, they meet again at the dog park.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Risky business to have the daughter be born after the dad died, but Radcliffe managed it without turning off the editors or getting too sappy in describing the situation.

I like Maggie. She's spunky. Radcliffe does great job of showing us Maggie's personality quickly. (This is just another adventure to Maggie. And Most children are afraid of doctors and nurses. Not Maggie. Sitting on the exam table, she holds the compress with one hand while she inspects the room.)

Funny guy: "Which one of you young ladies is seven-year-old Maggie?"

"Tetanus shot up to date?" - This says authentic doctor's office visit so much to me! They engage the child and still talk to the parent about the necessities.

Oooh! An unwitting child matchmaker. We see a lot of matchmakers, but most of the time they're working their magic purposefully. Maggie doesn't even know she's doing it which makes her so cute.

Love this line. So symbolic of her situation and poetic at the same time: I feel a hopeful expectation I haven't felt in a very long time. It's sort of like being gently roused from sleep.

Hm. I wasn't crazy about Emily's behavior at the end. I didn't like how obvious she was in her question, "Do you and your wife take Henry here often?" And then, "Are you and Henry ready of this, Steven?" Seemed just as forward. If I were Henry, I'd be like, "Ready for what?" I half expect Emily to take his hand.  Otherwise, cute story.

Photo credit: Cmee2 via Wikimedia Commons

Love on Laurel Lane

by Terry O'Brien from the April 7, 2014 issue

Tagline: Ellen had already fallen in love with her new house when she met her new neighbor...and fell in love all over again!

In a Nutshell: Ellen moves with her two daughters to a small town for a new start after her divorce. Next door is a divorced man with two daughters.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: First paragraph, I like the setting--it sounds exactly like the type of small town Woman's World adores. Me too, for that matter. Plus, we get a quick backstory for the heroine. However, I have to say, if she's "recently" divorced, she may not be in the best shape for finding love right off the bat.

All right, I'm fairly deep into the story. I'm glad to have read that "The following weeks were busy ones," because this makes it more plausible. Scratch the previous comment. :)

And I'm done. Nicely written. My worries were unjustified. O'Brien did a fine job of convincing me that they were on the path to an HEA. She summarized their courtship, which was necessary because this is an 800 word story, not a novella. I haven't said this recently, but with Woman's World stories, you often have to "tell, don't show," which is the opposite of what you so often hear.

Also--and this is not to knock "Love on Laurel Lane," but in general, I find it unrealistic to show the kids of divorced parents to be so gung-ho about a) their parent finding a new partner or b) moving to a new place (especially if it's pulling them away from all their friends. I lived through my parents divorcing and it sucks. You never stop wishing your parents will get back together. Acceptance eventually comes, but the devastation is never forgotten.

Photo credit: Fae via Wikimedia Commons

OOPS: I skipped an issue. I'll critique "Second Chance at Love" next time.

Big Sisters Know Best

by Nell Musoff from the March 24, 2014 issue

Tagline: Susan had to admit that sometimes her sister Mary actually did know what she was talking about!

In a Nutshell: Susan's sister "bullies" her into attending a meeting of the "55 or Better" social club. Susan sees a classmate she hasn't seen in years.

Stream-of-consciousness Observations: Love the bossy sister. I'm only 51, but I am identifying with these ladies!

"I'm well aware of my age. But that doesn't mean I want to join a social club filled with senior citizens sitting around talking about their latest medical procedures." LOL

Oh, she's mourning a husband. Heartstrings tugged.

Oh, hers too. LOL As always, the mention of my late husband tugged at my heart.

LOL She signed her up for brownies. That's hilarious. And bullseye on the "I didn't have to check with you--I knew you weren't doing anything." Wake up call, Susan!

"...You don't sit next to someone for a whole school year without remembering them." Um...I do. LOL

Aww. Done with the story and it was cute. This is the type of everyday hopeful romance I don't remember having seen in a while. There's no date, but the story ends with promise. It's very open-ended, but optimistic. That's something to remember when you're writing your own stories. You don't always have to wrap it up.

Sunshine in the Forecast

by Elizabeth Palmer from the March 17, 2014 issue

Tagline: When Anna met Mike, she forgot about the cold winter and began to look forward to a warm and sunny future...

In a Nutshell: Anna has just moved north and isn't sure she likes it, especially when she discovers the oak tree in her front yard is a lost cause. She changes her mind when she meets the man from the nursery.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Hm. I'm to the place where the magazine inserts a highlighted quote and so far, I'm not particularly drawn in.

Handy how the neighbor happened to have a slip of paper with those names and numbers on it. LOL

Ah! The neighbor warns her to ask for the young Mike Greene. There's a nice twist on the cliche. Very often in WW stories, there is a "mix-up" in a family business situation. Usually the older worker is unavailable or sick and the real love interest steps up to the plate.

Notice that Palmer has laid out the heroine's conflict in a couple of places. Anna isn't so sure about living up north.

I love the moment they meet. Mike is funny.

Now I'm really liking Anna's inner thoughts. Obviously we know she's going to choose to stay, but you can see that she's already subconsciously made the decision when Young Mike talks about the maple. Up until then she'd been just thinking about moving back, then after meeting Mike, her thoughts take a turn and become more about what she'll miss. Subtle change, but important.

All right, done with the story. I liked it. In fact, I guess you could say I warmed up to it. Get it? LOL. Seriously, it took me a tiny bit to get into the slower, more thoughtful tone, but once I did that, I was fine. I guess I was expecting a perky heroine, and Anna wasn't. I did enjoy watching her change her mind about staying.

Photo credit: Denis Jacquerye via Wikimedia Commons

The Escape Artist

by Shelley Cooper from the March 10, 2014 issue

Tagline: Laura couldn't keep her dog from running away. Fortunately, he never ran far...just to Matt's house!

In a Nutshell: A dog plays matchmaker when he keeps running away to the house that a cute single guy is restoring.

Observations: Since this is the second story I'm analyzing today and I have limited time, I'm going to do a Stream-of-Consciousness Review ™. LOL.

The first couple of paragraphs are good. I, too, rescued a dog, so I'm immediately drawn in and feel a connection with the narrator. I also feel sympathy for her having just been dumped by her fiancé. Poor thing.

Oh. Teeny is a Great Dane. Holy moly. I have a Chihuahua. Polar opposites! 

Hm. I wonder what kind of neighborhood she lives in if there are Victorian houses sitting around abandoned. But I go with it.

OMG. LMAO. "I'm not sure, but after that kiss, I think Teeny and I are going steady."

I like seeing the progression of their relationship, via Teeny's messing up the porch and shirt.

I really liked the invitation, but I kind of wonder if he could have restored the house in two weeks. Glory is a strong word.

LMAO again at Matt's outfit for the BBQ.

Hm. I am disappointed with the ending. It felt very abrupt. I think it might have helped if right after he said, "And I do want to get to know you better, Laura," she had said something and they'd shared a moment. Instead there was "telling," of the "show don't tell" fame. "That was the day I fell in love with Matt. Thanks for telling us, but I'd rather see it happen real time. 

Oh, a wedding. That' makes sense, but it falls flat for me because I don't feel the couple has a strong enough connection built.

The last sentence was terrific, but I'm afraid it didn't make up for the lack of of happy sigh at the critical place in the story.

Love in His Eyes

by Rosemary Hayes from the March 3, 2014 issue

Tagline: Lisa and Joel were a perfect match but up to now, neither of them had been willing to admit it!

In a Nutshell: As good friends, Lisa and Joel are at the zoo together to take photographs. At Joel's insistence, she signed up for a photography class after she lost her job. While at the zoo, Joel finds the courage to tell Lisa he wants to be more than friends.

Observations: There are many elements in this story that I wanted to point out. Since I'm way behind analyzing the stories and want to do two today, I'm going to just list them.

1. In the very first paragraph we see a darling indication that Joel is sweet on Lisa. As usual, she didn't have to ask him to smile--he always smiled when he looked in her direction, whether or not she held her camera.

2. I had a moment of skepticism when the chimp smiled. I bet you could wait for three days and not see a chimp smile. Not sure they even smile at all or if they only bare their teeth when threatened, like many other animals.

3. I wasn't big on the "say cheese please" joke.

4. I did think the teasing about his receding hairline was good. It showed me that they are that comfortable with each other that she feels okay with teasing him about it.

5. I loved the way he talked about eagles mating habits as a way to lead into what he was really trying  to say to her. Smart guy! Smart author, too.

6. I also adored when she realizes and she snaps a picture at the moment she sees the love in his eyes through her view screen. That paragraph was amazing. You get her physical reaction, her sudden seriousness. You see her thought process as it finally dawns on her. The final sentence warms your heart, and then you get the one word paragraph that means, to me, she took the picture and will have it forever, and that everything just clicked for her.

7. After that perfect paragraph, the author made sure we see Lisa confirming that the feeling is mutual and a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

Ah romance!

Contest to Win One of My Books

As some of you will undoubtedly know, I also write longer, steamier romance fiction under the name Kate Willoughby. My newest book, On the Surface, is coming out next month. It's a hockey romance and I think it's the best book I've ever written.

To get ready for the Big Day and the hordes of fans I hope are in my future (LOL), I had my author website revamped and I unveiled the finished product a couple of days ago. I'm running a contest for people to win a copy of the book, if you are interested.

You will land on the home page, but just choose "blog" on the menu bar to find the contest.

Good luck and thanks for visiting!

Thief of Hearts

by Shelley Cooper from the February 24, 2014 issue

Tagline: Julie and Kevin were destined to meet and fall in love. At least, that's how Maurice saw it!

In a Nutshell: Julie's cat likes to take items from people's homes and bring them to Julie. When he snatches some things from neighbor Kevin, the humans realize there might be something worth pursuing.

Observations: This was one of the best stories I've read in a long while. In fact, it inspired me to do a Top Ten list at the end of the year.

As I read it, my smile got bigger and bigger. I make notes sometimes on the page--places in the story I want to talk about in the analysis. As you can see by the picture I marked a lot of places.

Right off the bat, there's an excellent hook first sentence.

I live with a thief.

Isn't that great?

Next, I had to admire Julie's deductive skills when she figured out which house the cuff link must have come from.

When she sees him, we get a great bit of description that takes ownership of the fact that heroes are so often tall, dark, and handsome, but puts a spin on it that makes it amusing.

He was a walking cliche--tall, dark and almost more handsome than my poor heart could tolerate.

I liked her using the word "rock" in its most modern way:

Even without the jacket, the man rocked a tuxedo.

Here's where I laughed:

"A cat burglar, huh?"

I liked her inner thoughts here too. I thought they were cute:

"No, I'm happily divorced. It's a co-worker's wedding. The cuff links were a groomsman gift."

The euphoria that filled my heart at this news was downright alarming.

The twist around two thirds in, where Maurice the cat, starts giving gifts to Kevin was surprising and absolutely perfect! I defy any reader to get to that part and not be completely sure these two will have a happy ending, because hello, the CAT liked him. That's gotta count for a lot, right?

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the bra shows up. Game over. At this point, I'm cursing Cooper for being such a terrific writer. Sometimes I get jealous that way. I get all, "WHY are you not writing stories like this, Kate? Put the hockey books aside for a few days!"

I liked at the climax how Julie is, after being frustrated with the lack of progress in their relationship, suddenly shy and not quite ready to believe he is really interested in her. You catch your breath there (just like her) and laugh at her witty remark about the cat, just in case he didn't mean what she hopes he means.

I thought her last line came a tiny bit abruptly, but that is such a minor quibble, it's almost not worth mentioning.

Often I have a hard time writing the critique. This one came very easily.

Once and For All

by Suzanne DuBois from the February 17, 2014 issue

Tagline: Tim had a feeling Amy was "the one," but he just couldn't tell her what was in his heart...

In a Nutshell:  Tim is your typical young man, playing the field, not really looking for love, so when he meets Amy, he's a bit blindsided. Suddenly shy, he bumbles his approach a couple of times before she finally takes matters into her own hands.

Observations: The appeal of this story for me was the intimate telling of it from the hero's point of view. It was cute to see his paradigm shift from the type of woman he'd always been attracted to, to someone more like you and me, since I've never been a head-turner, tall or athletic! LOL

There was a bit of a black moment as his sister--sort of a quasi villain in this story--says maybe the universe is trying to tell him something. But our hero ignores her.

We also get an epilogue paragraph in which we find out how it all turned out: wedding, starter home and a baby on the way.

Not your typical Woman's World story, but well within the tone and style of the magazine. Well done.

Photo credit: Larsinio via Wikimedia Commons

A Little TLC

by Joan Dayton from the February 10, 2014 issue

Tagline: Julie and Ken both understood that homes are like hearts--they require tender loving care to flourish...

In a Nutshell: Julie is a real estate agent trying to sell a house owned by the Gradys. Ken restores houses for a living. He used to do odd jobs for the Gradys when he was younger and even though it has a petunia pink kitchen, he wants to buy the house himself.

Observations: This story did not stand out for me. There was only one moment that resonated and that was:

In the kitchen, his gaze swept the room. "Yep. petunia pink." Seeing her puzzled look, he said, "I did yard work as a kid and the Gradys were customers. After I cut the lawn, Mrs. Grady would invite me in for lemonade. I never knew my own grandparents, so they sort of filled that spot for me."

This part made me smile. I could totally picture a young boy being coddled by them, especially Mrs. Grady, in that pink kitchen.

Otherwise, the story didn't evoke any particular emotions in me. As usual, my usual disclaimer says your mileage may vary. Johnene thought it was good enough to pay $800 for and somewhere an author is taking that to the bank!

Photo credit: Fir0002/Flagstaffotos via Wikimedia Commons

We [heart] Paris

by Mary Haupt from the February 2, 2014 issue

Tagline: Dinah couldn't wait to leave for Paris. Then she met Kelly-and he made her look forward to coming home too.

In a Nutshell: Dinah is going on her long dreamed of trip to Paris. Kelly, the man who is temping while she's gone, was an exchange student there when he was younger. Over dinner, he gives her some tips on what to see while she's there. The next day, he sends her off with a smile.

Observations: This story started out average for me, wandered into weird territory, and then finished strong.

I thought the first part of the story was cute, typical of a Woman's World story. There's a perky friend. There's the backstory about Dinah's trip. There's a cute meet where Dinah is expecting a girl because her replacement's name is Kelly.

In addition to the black moment at the end of the story, there was a gray moment in the middle when Dinah almost declines Kelly's dinner invitation, which was slightly unusual. I really loved how Kelly shared his knowledge with her, pointing out special things she might want to see herself. But the whole screenplay thing felt out of place to me. Maybe it's because I live in Los Angeles, and I was pretty skeptical that he had a producer interested in optioning it. Everyone and their mother is a screenwriter here, and not that many are successful at it. Hollywood is very much a "who you know" town. I might have believed it if the screenplay had been described a little bit more. "Based on his experiences that year," didn't sound too lucrative. And he changes the topic soon after mentioning it anyway, so I didn't quite see the purpose.

By this time, I'm not all that interested in the couple, unfortunately. I didn't see too much personality in either of them. I admired Dinah for making her dream come true and going on a trip like that by herself. She's braver than I am! However, other than that, they seemed pedestrian.

However, I thought the ending of the story was strong. I liked the drawn out tension of Dinah in the airport as she hopes to see Kelly and the way he sends her off was perfect. That ending redeemed the story for me.

I'd be interested to see what everyone else thought. Maybe it was just me.

Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn via Creative Commons

Banking on Love

by Elizabeth Palmer from the January 27, 2014 issue

Tagline: Megan was too shy to make the first move with Ryan--until her twin sister delivered a challenge she simply couldn't resist.

In a Nutshell: Megan likes Ryan the bank teller. Megan's sister dares her to give him her phone number on her deposit slip. Just as she's about to give it to him, the manager takes his place because it's time for his lunch. Never fear though, because Ryan is outside waiting for Megan. He wants to take her to lunch.

Observations: I loved how this story played out. There were no real jumps in time. Did you notice that? There was no shift to another scene. The narrative began and went on uninterrupted until the end. I think it made it really feel like I was living it with Megan.

I felt bad for her when the manager snaked the deposit slip with her phone number on it. How embarrassing! And I thought the sister seemed realistic. She is just the right amount of loving (she wants her sister to find love) and annoying (daring Megan and then laughing when it goes wrong).

I loved the ending line, "Her work here was done," referring to her sister's matchmaking efforts.

The only think I found lacking was I didn't really experience a lot of joy when he asked her out. Ryan seemed a little flat to me.

Other than that, another winner from Ms. Palmer!

The House on Main Street

by Susan Holloway from the January 20, 2014 issue

Tagline: Samantha had always loved the old Victorian house. Now that Scott lived there, she loved it even more!

In A Nutshell: Scott bought a Victorian house and hired "Sam" the architect to help him remodel it. When he finds out Sam is a woman, he's surprised, just as she is surprised to find out he owns a book and coffee place and bakes the muffins himself.

Observations: Susan Holloway did a good job with this story. I don't have a lot to point out positively or negatively. I noticed that she included a slight nod to feminism with Sam being successful in a traditionally male-dominated field, but other than that, this story was average.

Photo credit: thebittenword.com via Flickr Creative Commons

Love on Ice

by N.L. Hickerson from the January 13, 2014 issue

Tagline: Ethan saved the pretty, green-eyed skater from falling on the ice, but nothing could keep Ethan from falling for the skater!

In a Nutshell: Ethan meets a woman skating but she gets away before he can catch her name. The next time he's skating, he finds out it's the same woman his sister has been trying to set him up with.

Observations: Hickerson is a regular contributor to WW. This story is a good example as to why. The circularity that occurs--tying the "most beautiful woman in the world" idea to the end--is perfect. We see the attraction between them. There's humor, from both the hero and heroine. Ethan is a go-getter, checking the local library to see if he can find her.

My only complaint is nothing the author can do much about. Of course, the moment you hear Ethan's sister talking about someone she wants him to meet, you know it's going to coincidentally be the heroine he meets on his own. But that's a plot we've seen before and will see again.

Picture Perfect

by Susan Holloway from the January 6, 2014 issue

Tagline: Kasi and the handsome stranger had more in common than she realized when she first ran in to [sic] him...

In a Nutshell: Kasi finds an antique camera that a friend of hers has been searching for. Just as she reaches for it, a man beats her to it. He's good looking, charming, and gallant, since he lets her take the camera even though he wanted it for his collection. Kasi brings the camera to her friend who in turn gives it to her brother, none other than the man who gave it up in the first place.

Observations: I haven't mentioned story structure for a while and something in this story reminded me of that fact. In a typical story, the first act introduces the protagonists and their problems. Often in a Woman's World story, they're looking for love, but sometimes they have some other challenge like getting used to being back in their hometown, or finding a new job. In the second act, things progress, problems arise, and right at the end of the act, things come to a head. Third act, we see the resolution of the problems and all loose ends are tied up. Usually the third act is relatively short. The pacing increases in the second act and by the time we get to the third, we're moving quickly, so the end comes before we know it.

In this story, the "things come to a head" moment, which I also call the big black moment, comes right about the mid point when the man leaves the store and Kasi thinks she'll never see him again. Practically half the story is dedicated to working things out for Kasi and Nathan.

I'm not sure why this works in Woman's World stories. Any ideas?

Photo by Hakan Svensson (cc)

It's a Wrap!

by Elizabeth Palmer from the December 30, 2013 issue

Tagline: Allie was happy to help out at the Christmas fundraising booth. And when her good deed brought Dan into her life, she was even happier!

In a Nutshell: Allie is known in her family for her elaborate gift-wrapping so volunteering to wrap gifts at the mall for a charity is a perfect fit. A man makes eye contact and smiles. She smiles back. Much later, he's there with a large donation and some gifts for her to wrap. Turns out, two of the gifts are for his dog. He just wanted to meet her.

Observations: Okay, Ms. Palmer. I hereby crown you Queen of the Holiday Stories. I'm convinced you could write a winner in your sleep.

I wanted to point out what a "perfect" hero Dan is. First, he looks good in leather. Just kidding. Because I have to go to work soon, I'll just do a laundry list of is attributes.

He's generous -- gives a large donation to Allie for the gift wrapping, which we find out later is his second donation to the Children's Hospital.

He's a devoted uncle who spends time with his niece and nephew.

He has a dog. (And he buys presents for him!)

He's honest -- he confesses to Allie about his deception.

Outside of that, I liked Allie too. She's so perky. Her elf-like perkiness jumps off the page. I also liked that tension when Allie notices the man, but he leaves. And the clever line at the end about Boxing Day being her favorite holiday? Clever!

What I did find strange was the woman whose granddaughter brought a sculpture to be wrapped. The little girl had made the sculpture in preschool and they made a special trip to the mall to get it wrapped? A little weird. Otherwise, it's easy to see why they picked this story.

Photo credit: rheaparedes (cc)