When Life Gives You Lemons

by Kate Willoughby

I was cleaning up my desktop when I came across something I wrote last summer. I really loved this story and hoped Woman's World would too but, alas, it was not accepted. I thought I may as well post it here so someone reads it besides Patricia. LOL

When Ramona saw the lemonade stand manned by two little girls, she had to stop. Almost fifty years ago, she and her sister had spent several Saturdays one summer similarly occupied with a wooden stand that their father built them.

One of the little girls waved enthusiastically. Grabbing her wallet, Ramona got out of the car and approached the card table with a poster taped to it. The poster, decorated with big daisies and hand-drawn glasses of lemonade, said, “All profits go to the Halfway Home Shelter.”

“Boy, am I thirsty,” Ramona said.

“Then try our lemonade!” the younger girl exclaimed. She wore a pink T-shirt with a kitten on it.

The front screen door to the house opened and a handsome man about Ramona’s age, presumably the girls’ grandfather, came out.

“I’d love some lemonade,” Ramona said. “Especially since the money is going towards a good cause. What are your names? I’m Ramona.”

“I’m Olivia,” the one in pink said.

“I’m Grace. We raised twelve dollars yesterday, but we want to triple that today!”

“My granddaughters are nothing if not ambitious.” The man smiled as he laid one hand on each of the girls’ shoulders. Ramona noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. “I’m Tom,” he said, “Tom Richardson.”

Ramona liked the merry twinkle in his brown eyes and his short salt and pepper hair.

Grace tugged on Tom’s shirt. “If we’re going to triple our money, we need a fresh idea, Granddad,” she said.

“You know,” Ramona said, eyeing their canister of just-add-water mix. “I just happen to have lots of personal lemonade stand experience and I might be able to help you increase your sales.”

The girls gasped. “Please tell us! Please!”

Grinning, Tom met her gaze over their heads and all of Ramona’s nerve-endings zinged with awareness. Although her husband had passed nine years ago, she hadn’t been attracted to a man in ages.

“Let me taste the product first.”

She took a sip and nodded thoughtfully. “This is good, but we can make it much better. My grandmother made the best blueberry lemonade in the state. People came from miles around to get some. It was so good that the Queen of England herself bestowed the special title of ‘Duchess of Deliciousness’ upon her.”

The girls stared at her with wide eyes.

“I think I saw something about this on the nightly news. Didn’t the First Lady have her over for tea at the White House?” Tom asked, spontaneously adding to Ramona’s tall tale.

“I believe so,” Ramona said, stifling a laugh.

“Grandpa, let’s go buy some blueberries right now!” Grace said. Olivia nodded eagerly.

“Hold on,” Tom said. “I don’t think it’s as simple as just dropping blueberries in our lemonade.”

“It isn’t,” Ramona agreed. “If you want to make lemonade as good as Grandma Esther’s…”

“We do!” both girls exclaimed.

“You have to make it from scratch. Fresh lemons, fresh blueberries. You should put that on your sign, too. ‘Blueberry lemonade, made from scratch!’”

“Wait. Are you saying you’ll actually share the Duchess’ recipe with us?” Tom asked with exaggerated shock.

Ramona had to laugh. “Of course, I will. The Duchess was always generous with her recipes. I also happen to know of a blueberry farm where you can pick your own and get more for your money than at the grocery store.”

The girls clapped their hands in delight as their grandfather laid out a plan to go to the blueberry farm the next day, bright and early. “That way,” he said, “we can come back home, make the lemonade and be selling it by the time it gets hot and people get thirsty. In the meantime, you can make your new sign, like Ramona suggested.”

Brimming with excitement, the girls abandoned the stand and ran inside.

Tom chuckled. “Thank you so much, Ramona. I think your recipe will give this little enterprise a real kick in the pants.”

“My pleasure. The memories I have of selling lemonade with my sister are priceless.”

After getting his email address so she could send him the recipe, she turned to go, but Tom said, “Say, if you’re free tomorrow, would you like to come with us to the farm? And maybe help us with that first batch?”

Their eyes met and Ramona felt a thrill she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I’d like nothing more,” she said, her heart filling with hope.

Photo by Amy Gizienski via Flickr cc license

Finding Love at 30,000 Feet

by Shelley Cooper from the January 13, 2020 issue

Tagline

Elise has officially sworn off men and dead-end dating...until a handsome guy sits next to her on a flight and sends her heart soaring to new heights!

Observations

This story had it all--a yummy hero, a jaded but still open heroine, lots of humor, and a bit of writing I'll touch on later that was pure genius.

I loved this line. I loved the humor of it and all the alliteration, too!

After a string of dating disasters, I was more tempted to escape to a nunnery than I was to go on one more dinner date.

I also loved this funny line:

In truth, the only signs I planned on looking for were the ones pointing the way to my gate.

But here's a real teaching moment. 

Then I saw him for the first time.

This sentence doesn't seem like much, but it's totally amazing and here's why. It softens the implausibility that, after seeing him in the TSA line, they'd end up sitting next to each other on the same plane. Let's be honest. Coincidences abound in Woman's World stories and personally, I think it's part of the magazine's charm. Yes, they're crazy and probably would never happen, but they're still fun. 

So, using "the first time I saw him," construct tells the reader that she's going to see him again and for some reason, this "warning" makes it easier to believe. It's similar to when a mystery writer plants a piece of evidence early in the story. She even goes a little farther in this sentence:

The third time I saw him, he was sitting--you guessed it--in the window seat of my assigned row.

"You guessed it." Genius. This phrase openly acknowledges and embraces the fact that the reader has already predicted the coincidence. So don't be afraid to include a coincidence in your story. Woman's World readers love them, especially when they're as well written as this one.

I literally laughed out loud at this:

Up close, he smelled divine, like soap and, incredibly, oatmeal cookies. I reburied my nose in my book and tried not to inhale.

And rest of the flight was absolutely charming! I know I'm not the only one who swoons over those videos of dads dressed up like ballerinas and dancing with their daughters, or participating in her tea party, or trick or treating in a matching princess costume. So it was super easy to fall for this guy who submits to a little girl's makeover.

This was just a perfect story!

Photo by Phillip Capper via Flickr CC license

Countdown to True Love

by Heidi Rice from the January 6, 2020 issue

Tagline: When a blackout hits on New Year's Eve, Ariana is determined not to miss the fireworks ringing in 2020...and stumbles across a fresh chance at love.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Ari's sister is such a bitch! If I were her, I'd avoid all calls from her. I'm so lucky that my sister is an angel.

Ooh, what an interesting job--apartment sitter in NYC.

LOL. Mr. Hot Bod.

Wait a second. I totally missed the part where the blackout happened and I had to go back and reread. Am I the only one? When I went back to reread, it's clear when it happens, but in the moment, I completely passed it by. It's entirely possible that the fault is mine, but honestly, I think there could have been a little more description there. For instance, here's a sentence in the story.

Ariana blinked as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.

Just adding the word "sudden" would have helped.

It's bad luck to miss fireworks on New Year's Eve in NYC? You learn something new everyday.

I'm not sure why she's in danger of breaking her neck because a fire escape is literally designed to save people.

Whoa. We're in the guy's pov now? Okay, this is very unusual in a Woman's World story and it's done a little abruptly, IMHO.

I'm also finding it odd that he photographs the models in his apartment. Most photographers have a studio and as a model, I wouldn't feel safe going to his place for the shoot.

All right, I did like the story in the end, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't find a few things that bugged me. LOL

Photo by oopsart via Flickr CC license

A Prince for Christmas

by Patricia Gaddis from the December 30, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Elizabeth Blake jokingly asks Santa to bring her a prince, she never expects that her Christmas wish for love may actually come true.

Observations: I'm so excited to be critiquing a story by Patricia, who has edited many of my own stories. Sometimes a good editor is not a good writer, but Patricia is both. This will be a stream-of-consciousness analysis.

The first paragraph really does a nice job of setting the tone and describing the setting. Reading it, you can almost feel that snowflake melting on your tongue.

I liked this bit:

"Better call her dad," Heather advises. "They're divorced...like us."

That the little daughter includes herself in the divorce was poignant to me. As a child of divorced parents, I can assure you the kids are just as deeply involved in the divorce as the parents.

Oh, they moved recently. Hm. Away from the dad?

Ah...Heather says she wants a daddy for Christmas, so maybe the dad is out of the picture somehow. Either way, it's probably best to explain these kinds of things so the reader isn't pulled out of the story, wondering.

Oooh, he's a fireman? Yes, please!

That was a charming story. Well done, Patricia.

Photo by Alistair Young via Flickr CC license

A Storm in a Snow Globe

by Kate Pearce from the December 23, 2019 issue

Tagline: Furious and stressed, Sally Hayes is set on giving her husband, Tom, the silent treatment...until he melts her heart and shows her what matters most.

Observations: I loved this story! It was so different, and that's probably because we see so few "marriage on the rocks" stories. Although, this marriage isn't really on the rocks. I think having the son wanting to join the military was a smart move, as an author because Woman's World definitely supports the military.

Announcement: I'm going to be adjusting my blog posts and only blogging when I think there's a teachable moment in the story. I don't think there's any point to posting when I have nothing to say about the story except that I liked it. :)

Photo by Peter Corbett via Flickr CC license

The Furry Matchmaker

by Rebecca Zanetti from the December 2019 issue

Tagline: When Melody Landsom finds a stranger's dog on her front porch, she never expects it will lead her to its handsome owner...and a second chance at first love!

Observations: I remember when I first targeted Woman's World as a publication I wanted to write for, it seemed like every other story had a dog or a cat in it, and I seem to recall there being a point where they flat out said, no more dog stories! LOL I guess I wasn't the only writer to notice they liked dog stories.

Anyway, this was an adorable dog story, even if this wasn't the first doggie matchmaker to grace the pages of Woman's World. I liked Melody and the dog. The handsome dog owner was cute too, even if it was weird that his last name was Lexington and he named his dog Remington.

I appreciate the wedding ending, but I didn't get that blissful happy feeling I expect from a romance. As I've said countless times before, I'm a details person who is extremely picky as well. The fact that her taking a leap "paid off..." I just didn't like that phrase, as if her reward was marriage. It came off a little mercenary. Again, this is only my opinion!! 

Photo by Rennett Stowe via Flickr CC License

A Magical Holiday Treat

by Crystal Moore from the December 16, 2019 issue

Tagline: As the only singleton at her friend's Christmas party, Gretchen feels lonelier than ever...until she finds a surprise guest beneath the tree.

Observations: I loved this story and its humor from the very first sentence.

Gretchen stared at the sweater before her as a llama with a string of lights blinking around its neck stared back.

LOL. In fact there were many lines I liked.

Gretchen, if you didn't spend so much time at your bakery, you could meet someone. Wouldn't it be nice to spend time with a man not made of sugar and spice?"

I always love the snarky best friend, in novels and in Woman's World stories.

Sure enough, she saw the dachshund beneath the tree, but instead of having his nose in the presents, he was belly up, having his ears scratched by a guy who was so handsome, she wanted to slap a gift tag on him that said To: Gretchen.

This was the funniest line in the story and I think it's partly because of one word choice. See, Moore could have used "taped" or "put," but she chose "slap," which is much funnier for some reason. When writing your stories, don't be afraid to get down to the tiniest details, like switching out one word.

Photo by John Mayer via Flickr cc license

A Very Sweet Surprise

by Lisa Weaver from the December 2, 2019 issue.

Tagline: When Patrick takes over his aunt's bakery for the Thanksgiving holiday, he never expects a temperamental oven could lead him to new love.

Observations: I was surprised to see this story in the issue after Thanksgiving, but I still really enjoyed the story, mainly because it was a refreshing change to first person present tense from the hero's point of view. I liked that slightly more intimate sharing of his thoughts.

There were quite a few lines that made me smile:

...I'm elbow-deep in piecrust.
...speaking loudly so she'll hear me over her one-woman karaoke fest.
...I'm struck speechless at the thunderclap of attraction that reverberates between us.

I also noticed the black moment was so very close to the end of the story. I feel like it's been a while since we saw it so late.

Photo by TheCulinaryGeek via Flickr cc license

A Holiday to Remember

by Jill Kemerer from the November 25, 2019 issue

Tagline: Alone on Thanksgiving, Ryan has all but given up on finding love...until Melissa Daniels arrives to sweeten his day.

Observations: This week, the teaching moment is a lesson in punctuation. I usually refrain from pointing out errors in the stories, but the holidays are upon us and maybe I can help someone avoid this mistake when ordering their Christmas cards because people often label the family photo and add an unnecessary apostrophe and this drives me bonkers!

Apostrophes indicate possession or a contraction. That's it. Those are the only times you use them. So when you're not sure, just ask yourself:

1. Are there two words being smashed together? If so, use the apostrophe in the place where the missing letters would have been.
2. Are you talking about something belonging to someone? If so, use the apostrophe. If not, don't use it.

So, when you are talking about a family, such as the Smiths, you add an "s" to indicate there is more than one person named Smith.

This is the street the Smiths live on.
I gave an anniversary card to the McCarthys.
The Hamlins are away on vacation.

If you are talking about something that belongs to the Smith family, there is an apostrophe, because we are showing possession.

That is the Smiths' house. 
The McCarthys' dog dug up my garden.
I'll be watering the Hamlins' lawn while they're away.

The house/dog/lawn belongs to all of the people in the family, not just one of them.

So, here is a short quiz to check for understanding. (That's a term from my days as a teacher! LOL) Apostrophe? Yes or no? Be careful with #4. It's tricky.

1. The Clooneys house was broken into last week.
2. The Rutherfords are throwing a party.
3. We invited the Parkers over for game night.
4. I'm going to the Browns for Thanksgiving.
5. The Sullivans won the lottery.

Answers:
1. yes
2. no
3. no
4. yes
5. no


Number four does have an apostrophe because, even though the word "house" is not there, it's implied.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/what-happens-to-names-when-we-make-them-plural-or-possessive

A Second Chance at Love

by Jill Weatherholt, from the November 18, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Nell arrives to serve dinner to local veterans on Thanksgiving Day, she never imagines her old flame will be waiting for her.

Observations: I don't seem to have any observations for this warm, fuzzy story. This has only happened a couple of times in all the years I've blogged, and I'm sorry. Next week, there will be something for sure.

Photo by browniesfordinner via Flickr Creative Commons License

Sweet Deal

by J. O'Kelley  from the November 11, 2019 issue

Tagline: On the hunt for furniture at a neighbor's estate sale, Jen Parker is armed and ready to haggle her way to the perfect place for her new sunroom. But when Brett Davis meets her eye, she finds something she didn't bargain on: a new chance at love

Observations: This story had a lot of humor, which I love, and really leaned into showing the heroine's attraction toward the hero.

I wanted to point out that in this story, the black moment wasn't related to the romance. It was when Jen was thinking that she wouldn't be able to afford the wicker settee.

The only other thing I wanted to shine some light on was this paragraph:

Brett guided her through the maze of power tools and books and across the street to a red truck. Then, releasing her hand, he pulled down the hatch. Inside, was a white wicker love seat. French country design. Just a bit shabby. Perfectly chic.

Do you remember when you were in school and you would get a paper back on which the teacher nailed you on your sentence fragments? I do. When you're in school and still learning proper grammar, writing in complete sentences is important. But in writing, you need to know what the rule is before you break it, so you break it in a way that yields you something you want, like increased emotion.

In this case, O'Kelley used it for emphasis. She wanted to show just how perfect that love seat was. Look closer now. Notice how long that first sentence is. Notice how the "ands" make it seem even longer. The next sentence is a little shorter, and then you have those staccato sentence fragments. Using the long sentence lead-in makes the contrast between it and the super short fragments that much stronger, giving the fragments more punch.

Keep this in mind when writing your own stories. Word choice is important, as in maze of power tools and Jen's negotiating pretense evaporated, but sentence structure and paragraph construction can be just as vital.

Photo by Wicker Paradise via Flickr CC license

A Halloween to Remember

by Melissa Senate from the November 4, 2019 issue

Tagline: After Kerry's longtime boyfriend admits he's not ready to settle down, she realizes it may be time to move on...but true love has other plans.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Aloha! I'm on vacation on Hawaii island, people! I apologize for not posting for a while. I was at a writer's conference in Houston, home for three days and then off to Hawaii. Not that I'm complaining! The conference was amazing. I'm on fire to get writing, which is a fantastic feeling. And now I'm drinking in the warm and inviting island frame of mind. Hopefully, I'll come back home focused and ready for the holidays!

So, on with the stream of consciousness analysis!

I immediately identify with Kerry. Her experience as a bridesmaid is familiar to me. I was actually only a bridesmaid once, but even attending weddings with a long time boyfriend can bring on that "left behind" feeling.

OMG. The black moment within the first third of the story? And such a dramatic one? This is not usual.

Okay, now we get more of the backstory, which is fine. You can sprinkle in backstory (anything relevant that has happened prior to the present moment) anytime you want.

As a die hard romance reader, I know that Hunter just needed to see the light, so I'm not too worried.

He just showed up with the giant pumpkin, which is appropriate for the time of year in the story, but puzzling to me as the reader. This isn't a particularly romantic object, but I will keep reading.

I have read the rest of the story and I'll preface my final comments by saying I'm a critical reader, as you probably already know. This ending didn't resonate with me. If it had been my story, I'd have made Hunter prepare and execute the Proposal That Should Have Been, something a little grand or special or personal. I mean, he did realize she was the one after a little bit of stewing time, but the way the story was written, he was still not all systems go. He got the pumpkin and wasted time talking about helping her carve it. I get that the author wanted to wring out the emotion and have Kerry twisting in the wind longer, but I think she suffered enough. I think when Kerry opened the door, he should have put the plan into motion and floored her (and us readers) with his speech and groveling.

However, the editors published this story as is, and this is only my opinion. Your mileage may vary and even with the most wonderful story in the world, there will always be people who don't like it. This blog is only me sharing what I think and trying to find teaching points to help writers who want to write for Woman's World.

Photo by ellenm1 via Flickr CC license.

A Sweet All Hallow's Eve

by Maria Gorman from the October 28, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Jessica Kane opens the door to her home to hand out Halloween candy, she never imagines that love will be waiting for her on the other side.

Observations: The premise of this story is adorable. A single dad and his daughter are trick or treating, and the little girl has to go potty, now!

I am a little confused because he is dressed as Aladdin and "looked every bit the part of a prince," but later he holds out a blue painted hand and offers her a magic wish, which is definitely the genie.

Maybe something was missed in edits? Lord knows I've made mistakes like this before. Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing that might pull your readers out of the story as they try to figure out if they were reading too fast and misunderstood or what. I want to emphasize how important it is to revise and proofread your stories. If at all possible, have someone else read your stories too. We writers often don't catch obvious mistakes that people with fresh eyes will notice right away.

On the other hand, maybe this wasn't a mistake and the author was just going with a general Aladdin theme, instead of making him the Aladdin, because I'm reading the last line:

Tonight she met her own prince of thieves--and he'd definitely stolen her heart.

Adorable ending, by the way.

Photo by Faylyne via Flickr CC license.

Season of Love

by Marti Attoun from the October 21, 2019 issue

Tagline: As Carolyn Danner finally finished raking up the vibrant fall leaves blanketing her sprawling lawn, she gets a surprise visit from an energetic pup--and his breathtakingly handsome dog sitter--that turns the seasonal chore into a heap of unexpected happiness.

Observations: The first thing I wanted to point out is something I haven't mentioned in a while. When writing a Woman's World romance story, you need to establish that the main characters are single. Obviously, you don't want to just say, "Mary was single." There are many more clever ways you can do this. In this particular story, the author wove it into the narrative.

She had considered hiring someone to rake her big yard now that her husband was gone...

I really loved the part where Attoun described Chester messing up the leaf piles. It was well done and I had no trouble visualizing this. Descriptions like this one aren't easy, which is why writing is an art. It's worth mentioning that you shouldn't dash off a story and send it off. My bet is that Attoun revised and revised until everything was just right. I mean, those verbs--bounding, pouncing, whooshing--those don't just spring to mind. But they are perfect.

I also haven't mentioned the "show don't tell" thing in a while. "Show don't tell" is a phrase that is often bandied about as an ironclad rule and I'm here to tell you it's not. Especially in a Woman's World story. You only have 800 words to use. Sometimes you have to summarize the action, as in this excerpt:

Surprisingly, they fell into conversation as easily as long-lost friends. Carolyn learned that Stan was recently retired and also single. They shared many interests from junking to blue-grass music.

See, you could show this happening, like I did here...

"So, Sam, what do you do for a living?" Carolyn asked.

"I retired recently after forty five years as a high school teacher." Stan sighed. "I always thought my wife and I would travel after I retired, but she passed away."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

And so on. But as you can see how many more words it took to show what the one sentence of telling did. So sometimes, you just tell stuff.

Unaltered photo by Selena Smith via https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/.

A New Plan

by JoAnn Bennett from the October 14, 2019 issue

Tagline: Prepping for her students' presentation at a local assembly, Miss Barnes has everything mapped out, down to the last word. But when an unforeseen change of plans leaves her in the lurch, fellow teacher Greg Oliver steps in to save the day--and captures her heart.

Observations: I really appreciated the celebration of Founder's Day in this story. Having been born in Los Angeles, this kind of small town thing doesn't happen, so as a city girl, it was nice to get a little peek into small town life. (The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse was one of my favorite stories as a kid.)

Often in stories, the protagonist solves a problem himself/herself, but in this story, the hero and heroine teamed up. Always be looking for opportunities like this to veer from the norm in small ways. The longer you study these stories, the more you'll notice how largely similar they are, but with small differences. Each story has its own twist.

Note the heroine stepping up to the plate and asking the hero out on the date. In stories in which someone is asked out, it's the woman about fifty percent of the time, but I have no hard data on that. But feel free to be ambigenderous--like that made-up word? LOL--when deciding who does the asking.

Unaltered photo by Alex Murphy via Flickr cc license

Sweet Start

by Laura Bradford from the October 7, 2019 issue

Tagline: Emma Fisher knows her younger brother, Jakob, is too shy to approach his crush, Liddy. But during a visit to the bake shop in their Amish community, a chance meeting ignites a spark--and the hope of love requited.

Observations: This was a first for me--an Amish romance in Woman's World. While I enjoyed the different setting and culture--once I got used to "dat" for "dad" and "yah" for "yes"--I thought the plot itself was a bit generic.

But maybe that's good news. Perhaps this is another avenue to publication for us. Find an unusual setting and/or culture to turn the spotlight on, then apply a familiar plot to it. The oddity of the setting/culture might be enough to put a different enough spin on it.

Photo by Ann Barker via Flickr cc license.

Back to Love

from the September 30, 2019 issue by Krista Weidner

Tagline: When Nora arrives at her daughter's back-to-school night, the only thing on her mind is how much she misses her husband, who had passed away the year before. But when a handsome dad named Tom ends up seated at the desk next to hers, it sparks hope for a great school year...and new love.

Observations: This story grew on me. The humor really boosted what started out as a bit of a bummer story, what with her husband having passed away. When Tom arrives on the scene, it just gets better and better.

When he passes her the note, I smiled. When I read what it said, I laughed.

Closing out "act 2" of the story when Nora shares her history with Tom, there's a real heartfelt moment of connection between the two. We see that Tom's not just all fun and games. He is compassionate.

So, I truly think that if a story is compassionate or humorous, it can get published, but when you pack a story with both, like Ms. Weidner did, you've really got a winner.

Photo by Christopher Sessums via Flickr CC license

A Picture-Perfect Start

by Shelley Cooper from the September 23, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Deena runs into her old flame at her photography exhibition, she's sure their second chance is past, until an old snap brings new hope.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Ah, the days of SLR cameras. No one but professionals or hobbyists use actual cameras anymore. That's one more invention that dates me. LOL I remember well the excitement of getting my first Kodak camera. It wasn't fancy at all, but it gave me the power to record my life

I love second-chance Woman's World stories and the idea that the one that got away can come back to you. Maybe it's because there's an element of patience paying off, of never truly giving up on a dream that makes it poignant for me.

I adore the novel idea of a photographer and her exhibit and her including the very first photograph she ever took. It's pretty obvious he's going to show up at the exhibit, but that doesn't matter. Happy anticipation is part of the fun of these stories.

I really like their conversation about the trout. If you're writing a second chance story, reminiscing is always part of it.

Oh, the photo sold? Heh heh. We know exactly who bought it. But again, the reader finding out if their prediction is true or not is part of the fun, too.

OMG. He pulls out a photo of the two of them that his mom took. Talk about picture perfect. That came out of left field for me and wow, this moment...love it.

Okay, for me, the ending didn't follow through and pack as much of a warm-fuzzy punch as the rest of the story. Your mileage may vary.

Unaltered photo by Scott Feldstein via Flickr CC License

A Labor of Love

by Lisa Weaver from the September 16, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Molly, a small-town bookstore owner, strikes up a romance with a handsome author visiting for the summer, her heart breaks knowing he'll soon be leaving. But he has a beautiful surprise up his sleeve that has Molly believing in happy endings.

Observations: This was a very unusual story in that the couple are together from word one. Sure, it's supposed to only be a summer fling, but it's much different from the usual first-meet stories we see. I loved that she owned a bookstore. I loved the warm, sort of shadowy tone of the story.

Maybe this is a new type of story template to consider: a couple starting at one point and moving to the next level of the relationship. Something to think about.

Photo by Iain Farrell via Flickr CC license

Sunset Dreams

by Tracy Crump from the September 9, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her father's passing, Hillary Dunn heads down to the water to clear her mind and her heart. But as she sits watching the tranquil scene, local fisherman Brad Jenkins floats into view, bringing with him the promise of a new love and hope for the future that paints Hillary's future a new hue.

Observations: This story was particularly poignant for me as my dad passed a couple of years ago. He didn't have cancer but had suffered a major stroke that left him without the power of speech or the use of the right side of his body.

I liked the humor in this story regarding cooking the log.

I didn't find any teaching moments here, except to suggest that you read your stories aloud before submitting them. It's a weird phenomenon, but your ears can catch things your eyes don't. For instance, in this story the author used the word prickled and then in the next paragraph used prickling. Oddly enough, you can sometimes find minute things like this if you read the story aloud.

Photo by Heath Alseike via Flickr CC license

A Labor Day Reunion

by Jill Weatherholt from the September 2, 2019 issue

Tagline: While wandering through her town festival, Phyllis Leslie comes across her old flame, Skip, setting off fireworks of hope in her heart.

Observations: This was such a sweet story. And romantic too! Who hasn't imagined their significant other winning a toy for them at a carnival game? I liked the ending and how it tied in wonderfully with that question Phyllis posed to herself at the beginning. And the black moment--when we wonder if Skip will make that third basket--was so unique.

This is a classic and well-written old flame story. In my "advanced" classes, I actually shine some light on the tropes that show up repeatedly in Woman's World stories, and for the old flame trope, I even have a flow chart for the plot points you need to cover. Here's a link for more information about those classes.

https://womansworldstyle.blogspot.com/p/workshop-info.html

Photo by Bradley Gordon via Flickr CC license

Changing Her Heart

by Rosemary Hayes from the August 26, 2019 issue

Tagline: While investigating her daughter's crush at the local grocery store, Kelly Mathis encounters an old flame...and a second chance at love.

Observations: I freakin loved this story! First of all, I was surprised that the boy at the grocery store, Aaron, was the son of Kelly's girlhood crush, Tim. I'm not sure why I hadn't seen that coming, but I hadn't. Then, I was surprised again that Tim was there. No time was going to pass before we threw these two together again, Kelly wasn't going to go home and dither about contacting him herself, as she had advised her daughter to, nor was she going to just wait for Aaron to pass on the message (or not.) (All three of those options are viable for the story, by the way.)

I didn't really see a black moment, unless it was super subtle when Kelly states that he went to prom with Allison Wise. But the story was still amazing without a moment of worry.

Also Kelly had an observable character arc. She actually learned the lesson that her daughter taught her, which was to just respond to a compliment by saying thank you, instead of deflecting. (How many of us deflect compliments? I, myself, have tried to incorporate this lesson.) It's always a bonus to show your character learning something or growing as a person, and that goes for novels as well as short stories. Showing your character change over time is one of the things that makes them three-dimensional rather than flat.

Photo by Alan Light via Flickr CC license

A Lucky Day

by Carla Ward from the August 19, 2019 issue

Tagline: As Cathy Briggs waits to interview for a new job, she feels confident that she'll land the position...but she never expected to find love in the process.

Observations: I loved this story. I really enjoyed seeing how the black moment of both of them vying for the same job was resolved. That fusion pizza sounds delish! Unfortunately, I don't have any other real observations. Maybe next week's story will provide a teaching moment for me.

Photo by Trending Topics 2019 (Flickr CC license)

A Break in the Weather

by Christine Hauray-Gilbert from the August 12, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Sabrina falls and ends up in urgent care one rainy morning, she never imagines that the bad start to her day could end in sunny romance.

Observations: With only 800 words, it's often difficult to slip in a physical description of one or both main characters and I wanted to point out how this author did it in three places.

Sabrina hadn't noticed him before, but as she looked up to meet his soulful gaze, a shiver ran down her spine.

Sabrina couldn't help but stare at his perfect smile...

He was scruffy in his gray sweats and sneakers, but his sincere brown eyes and dimples more than made up for it.

Incidentally, I, too, injured myself trying to play soccer many years ago. It was a shock to realize I was no longer as spry or fast on my feet as I had been.

I did find myself wondering if her boss would be understanding about Sabrina going out to breakfast after getting her wrist looked at.

I really liked the ending and how it tied in the weather theme nicely:

No sign of a black cloud, Sabrina thought gleefully. But there's a 90% chance of romance!

Photo credit: Tony Webster (Flickr creative commons license)

A Fresh Start to True Love

by Marti Attoun from the July 29, 2019 issue

Tagline: Romance is the last thing Bonnie expects to find while selling produce at the local farmers market...but when she meets Jim, love begins to bloom.

Observations: Reading this story was like visiting a real farmers market. Couldn't you just smell all the fresh produce? (Incidentally, I do not think tomatoes smell like compost.) I thought Attoun did a great job setting the scene.

Cute little matchmaking story!

Photo by Paul Wilkinson via Flickr CC license

Pure Poetry

by Susan Jaffer from the August 5, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Pete stops to deliver chairs to a poetry reading, he hopes that no one recognizes how out of place--and unpoetic--he is. But when Marci appears, it seems Pete has finally met the muse he's been longing for.

Observations: I'm excited to see a character of color in this Woman's World story. I think this is a welcome change. However, there is some debate on whether or not comparing skin color food/drink is mildly offensive to people of color.

On Writing with Color, a website dedicated to "writing and resources centered on racial and ethnic diversity," there is a well-written article on describing skin tone. Part 1 of the article centers on why it might not be a good idea to compare skin to chocolate or coffee and the like. Whether you agree or disagree with the reasons, you should look at Part 2, which gives you a really excellent resource on how you can richly describe a character's skin tone.

As open minded as we all think we are, it's always possible to learn something new.

Photo by Michael Chen via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Promise of New Love

by Jessica Roach Ferguson from the July 22, 2019 issue

Tagline: When a beach trip stirs memories of a past love, Katherine is certain she'll never feel it again...until someone from her past rekindles the hope in her heart.

Observations: Here's how I feel after reading this poignant but somehow uplifting story... I'm sighing with a quiet happiness. I can practically feel the chilly ocean spray on my cheeks.

This story conveyed just the right amount melancholy and longing without being maudlin. Ferguson does a beautiful job of showing the hero and heroine dancing around each other while trying to find out if the other person shared their feelings. The emotions all felt appropriate, not overblown or overwritten.

I only wish I'd known how old she/they were before the middle of the story when we find out he's forty. Otherwise, this was a fantastic story.

Photo by Alon via Flickr CC license

Home Is Where the Heart Is

by Mary Ann Joyce from the July 8, 2019 issue

Tagline: Melody struggled with the idea of becoming empty nesters and moving to a smaller home...until her husband surprised her with a beautiful gift.

Observations: Dang! I was going to write an empty nester story, but now I guess I've got to put that on hold for a while. LOL

Okay, THAT WAS AN AMAZING STORY. Way better, in fact, that the story I was working on.

What stands out most to me is how thoroughly Joyce showed us how much these two people love each other and how solid and long-lasting their relationship is. Check it out:

• Hank apologizes for being late. 
• Melody doesn't put up a fuss because she understands the reason.
• Melody "knew what her husband wanted to hear" about the grey hair, so she says it to him. 
• They tease each other playfully.
• He notices her expression and ditches the humorous tone and tries to comfort her.
• He brings pizza home in an attempt to recreate a memorable picnic in the house that they're planning to sell.
• He gives her a meaningful gift to show he understands how much she will miss their house. Not only that, but he had it made ahead of time, so this guy really thought about the perfect anniversary gift for her.
• He offers her the chance to stay in their big house.

By the time you get to the end of the story, it's very clear that these two would be happy anywhere. I just reread the last paragraph and the hairs on the back of my neck went up (in a good way.) This is a perfect example of why Mary Ann Joyce has so many stories published in Woman's World. 

Photo by Zulio via Flickr CC license

The Right Time for Love

by Alyssa Symon from the July 15, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Justine bumps her head outside a carpentry shop, the handsome owner comes to her aid...and soon has her seeing stars

Observations: I really loved how the hero was so shy and at the end, blurts out that he thinks Justine is beautiful. So cute!

Fireworks of the Heart

by Elizabeth Palmer from the July 1, 2019 issue

Tagline: Feeling homesick, Olivia agrees to attend her new neighborhood's Fourth of July picnic, but it's a handsome sergeant that sends her spirits soaring.

Stream of consciousness Observations:
That first paragraph...LOL. I have sometimes been asked if I work at the grocery store by strangers and I wonder what about my clothing identifies me as an employee? Usually grocery store employees wear some kind of uniform or name tag. So I'm liking Olivia right off the bat.

Okay, joke's on me! The guy asking the question was teasing her.

Aha, so we've skillfully established that Olivia knows this guy and has a wee crush on him. (I say "wee" because I've been binge-watching Outlander. LOL)

Oh, his name's Noah. Happy sigh!

I really love this part:

His dimpled smile warmed her heart almost as much as the promise.

Notice that the mid-point of the story happens to align with the gutter in the magazine.

Oh, I love a man in uniform.

He has a kid? Uh-oh, that can only mean...yep. There's a mommy. As you'll no doubt realize, this is the black moment of the story, when poor Olivia thinks he's married.

Oh, I absolutely adore this description phrase too...

But when it came time to make her contribution to the picnic, she discovered he was manning the grill (pun intended??? LOL), his dark-lashed cobalt blue eyes rendering her speechless.

The addition of the white hot sausages is genius. It's imperative in Woman's World stories that you include connections between the hero and heroine. The fact that they grew up in adjacent suburbs of New York gives them so many things in common, which consciously or unconsciously gives the reader hope that this couple will find happiness together.

Ha! Palmer totally surprised me. I thought Noah was divorced. Turns out the boy wasn't his.

Oh, that ending was perfection. Fantastic story.

Photo by Steven Depolo via Flickr CC license

Daring to Start Anew

by Tracy Savage Wilson from the June 24, 2019 issue

Tagline: When a lost dog shows up at Lisa's coffee stand, she goes on a mission to return the pup to his handsome owner...and finds love along the way.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Right off the bat we get a backstory paragraph, which I've said before is just fine in a Woman's World story. You have such a limited number of words that you must convey information as efficiently as possible. Immediately, we learn she's divorced, going back to school, taking night classes and working.

As a thirteen year barista, I know about regular customers, so this part rings very true. I, too, have people switching it up occasionally.

Oh, she's interested in this particular regular. Heh heh. Once in a while we get some eye candy and the cougar in me growls. LOL

I like how the author used the morning rush as a way to stop the main characters from connecting longer. Putting obstacles in the way of your protagonists is a good way to keep reader interest.

Okay, she just found the dog hanging around the coffee stand after her shift and I'm finding it a little hard to believe. I hope the author convinces me this is plausible later in the story.

"We were at the park when he escaped..." Hm. Yeah, I'm still not buying it. In my experience, dogs who are bonded with their owners don't escape, especially at a park where I'm assuming he was leashed. If the author had said the dog chased a cat and had yanked the leash out of Dave's hand...that would have been a little different.

Ah, coming back to the coffee stand for a biscuit makes a little more sense.

"Of course. It's my favorite part of the day, seeing your beautiful smile every morning," Dave said huskily, taking her hand in his softly.

I am so accustomed to the tone of Woman's World stories that the word "huskily" actually made me rear back and think "ew." I think his statement would appear normal, coming from a regular customer, but if he said it huskily, that goes into creeper territory for me. Then, add the taking of the hand... Yeah, I think he's moving a tad fast.

Photo by Alper Cugun via Flickr cc license

Picture Bliss

by Mary Ellen Main

Tagline: When art teacher Sue Becker assigns her students a special Father's Day project, she never imagines it will color her life with new love.

Observations: I thought this was an adorable story. When the call went out recently for Father's Day stories, I was like, "What? How does anyone write a story based on Father's Day?" Well, Main did. :)

I liked the humor about Simon's stick figure drawing in the middle of the story. It's always great to add humor and to show your characters having a sense of humor. That's one of the most popular traits people look for in mates, isn't it? But I was puzzled about this part:

"Would you consider going out to dinner with me tomorrow evening, Sue...to get to know each other a little better?"

"I'd like that," she said, her heart swelling. "On one condition."

"What's that?"

"That Simon doesn't draw any pictures of what we look like together."

Carson grinned. "Well, I"m sorry but I can't promise that," he laughed, squeezing her hand in his. "He loves to draw what makes him happy."

Why didn't she want him to draw a picture of them? She's his kindergarten teacher and hopefully appreciates children's artwork. Maybe someone can explain it to me in the comments. :)

Photo credit: Ruth Hartnup via Flickr CC license

The Secret Recipe for Love

by Julie Brookman

Tagline: When Chelsea Edwards is pitted against her handsome nemesis, Joel, in the annual barbecue competition, the grill isn't the only thing heating up!

Observations: Chelsea was a sassy heroine, one I admired. She stepped up to grill by herself when her dad couldn't compete. She was able to hold her own when Joel was teasing her. She was pretty canny when she realized Joel was "trying to throw her off her game."

Usually when there are stories that revolve around cooking, I find something to gripe about. I've watched a lot of cooking shows and I am a good cook myself, but I saw nothing to ping my radar. Yay!

The bad news: I totally have a craving for ribs now.

Tropes: second chance, enemies to lovers

Photo credit: David McSpadden via Flickr CC license

Love on Page One

by Alyssa Symon from the June 3, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Bonnie boards her flight to a literary conference, she's given up on love--until a handsome stranger rewrites her story.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: The man is wearing a suit on the plane? He must be a business man going on a business trip. Gone are the days when people dressed up to travel.

Hm. Her heart throbbed? Odd word choice.

I like the stubble paragraph. I'm fascinated with facial hair. Wait, that sounds weird. I mean I just find stubble attractive. LOL

Even though I never saw the movie, I immediately think of "Weekend at Bernie's" when I see his name is Bernie.

Connecting over books? OMG. I'm jealous of Bonnie. My husband is not a Reader.

Black moment arrives. Of course, they have to part at the baggage claim. But being a savvy WW story reader, I know he's going to show up at the conference.

OMG. I LOVE how he reveals his presence at the conference! Although I totally expected him to be there, when he taps her on the shoulder and says she's in his seat...it's perfect.

I loved this story.

Photo credit: Stevep2008 via Flickr CC license

A Love Remembered

by Lisa Weaver from the May 27, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Kate takes on the role of emcee at a Memorial Day bachelor auction, memories of lost love haunt her...until a former beau takes the stage.

Observations: I thought this was a fantastic Memorial Day story. It had:

• a little sadness about her father's passing, which was appropriate
• some humor with the triplets putting gum in the heroine's hair
• a second chance
• a misunderstanding with the winning bidder being in cahoots with the hero
• a great ending that tied in with the hot air balloon date the hero planned

Handy tip: Woman's World is always looking for stories that tie into holidays, and not just the major ones, like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Find some obscure "national" holidays and build a story around them.

Photo by Billy Bob Bain (Flickr cc license)

Interesting Article

I just wanted to pass along this wonderful article by Karen Rinaldi, describing a refreshing way to look at writing.

A Budding Romance

by Marti Attoun from the May 20, 2019 issue

Tagline: With spring in full bloom, the last thing on backyard gardener Jeannette's mind is love..until handyman Paul shows up and gives her butterflies.

Stream of Consciousness Observations:

I get a strong cheerful vibe from Jeannette in the first paragraph. This is very much what the entire publication is about--looking for the positive, enjoying life.

Second paragraph, we get the information that she's an older lady--old enough to have a grandson. It's a good idea to get this across early in the story, because if you wait too long, the reader will already have established an age in her mind and will need to regroup if it doesn't jive with the character's actual age. For instance, let's pretend we didn't know she was older. Let's say we get all the way to the end of the story and find out she's ninety when all along we thought in our heads that she was in her thirties or forties. Suddenly, we're ejected out of the story, which isn't ideal.

LOL at this line:

Worse, she'd been caught babbling to her blossoms.

I love the alliteration there, too.

Okay, I love this part:

...as Paul took a long admiring look at her colorful backyard, Jeanette snuck a long admiring look at Paul.

Super cute, even though there should be commas between long and admiring.

I'm wondering what a whirligig bumblebee is.

Okay, I see now that it's some kind of wind-powered garden device.

I like how the author compares Jeannette to the flying zebra. Very cute.

We get a summary "telling" part where we summarize what happens over a certain time period. I feel this is a handy tool to utilize when you want to transition to the third act, if you're following a three-act structure for your story.

I love Paul's line about not being in high school but how he feels like he is. I find myself wanting to poke Jeannette in the arm and say, "Don't let this one get away."

Oh, a stealthy hand-holding! Okay. It is true that I have had trouble with the characters holding hands in other stories. Sometimes it feels like it happens too fast for two people just having met, but for some reason, it doesn't bother me here. I tried to look back and find the latest story in which the hand-holding bothered me, but I couldn't find it. If someone can point it out to me, I'll be happy to look at both stories to try to figure out what made it okay for me in this story but not in the other.

The ending is just as cheerful as the beginning.

Photo by Mulberry24 via Flickr cc license

Mother Knows Best

by Elizabeth Palmer from the May 13, 2019 issue

Tagline: Tracy's convinced she'll never find love...until her boss, Wanda, works her motherly magic!

Observations: This story featured a couple of Woman's World tropes--the matchmaker and the mistaken identity--and did them well. If you're a regular reader of the 5-minute romances, you will probably have had an aha! moment like I did when you read this:

A few months ago, I'd helped her set up a profile on a dating website and she'd recently announced that she'd found "the one," promising me I'd finally get to meet him tonight.

I immediately assumed "the one" was for Tracy and not for Wanda and that this was a matchmaker story. I was so wrong! And I love that. I've been reading these stories faithfully for so long that it's very hard to surprise me, and Palmer totally did. The mistaken identity trope showed up when Tracy supposed the handsome stranger to be a con man and her treatment of him when she meets him later in person is hilarious.

I liked how his hand brushed hers and that he didn't take it into his. If you see two people above the age of 13 holding hands in public, it signals that they're a couple, right? To me, the person initiating the act signals that he or she wants to be more than just friends. The person who allows it confirms that they share the same feeling.

So, my personal preference in romance writing is to view holding hands as a milestone. It's a very soft and subtle, but significant, milestone, but a milestone just the same. A certain amount of time must pass and a rapport must be established before a couple holds hands. Crossing this delicate line shows that the relationship is moving forward.

This was another great story from one of the most prolific Woman's World romance writers.

Photo credit: Liz West (Flickr cc license)

The Art of New Love

by Heather Black from the May 6, 2019 issue

Tagline: When retiree Joni Carter visits the Blue Ridge Mountain overlook, she's looking forward to a quiet spring afternoon of sketching the incredible vista. But when a charming painter named Richard comes along, Joni feels a new sense of hope blossom in her heart.

Observations: I liked this story. The surprise of the drawing at the end was unusual. I laughed at the name of the one-eared cat.

I had a few nitpicks about word choice. Of course I did. LOL

"I'm Richard," he said, a twinkle flashing in his eyes.

No need for the word flashing, IMHO. A twinkle is a twinkle. Flashing is more abrupt and slightly more intense. A twinkle is gentle and flirty.

"Something to remember me by," he said, meeting her gaze knowingly.

Why knowingly? To me, that makes it seem as if he knows she's interested in him and will follow him to D.C., which comes across as slightly condescending.

How completely he'd captured her soul in just a few strokes...

I'd have preferred personality rather than soul. 

But again, I did like this story. :)

Photo by Pat (Cletch) Williams via Flickr cc license

Time for Change

by Jeanne Moore from the April 29, 2019 issue

Tagline: As the annual spring festival starts in Serenity Shores, love is the last thing widow Arabella Reilly is looking for, but a handsome traveler may just change her mind.

Observations: This was a cute story. We have a curmudgeonly old woman discover that she is open to finding romance after all. I feel hopeful for them at the end of the tale. I really liked this sentence:

Their eyes met, and a flutter of understanding passed between them.

However, I had some difficulties with the mechanics, all of which are just my opinion.

Like "she sells sea shells by the seashore," Spring Sea Spree is hard to say, even in my head. When I have to stumble over something, it interrupts the flow of the story. But maybe it was just me.

I felt the three colons in the story weren't necessary and (sorry!) a little off-putting. Again, maybe it's just me, but I feel colons belong in term papers (or on blogs! LOL), not in short fiction stories. Two of them were also punctuated incorrectly. There is no capital letter after the colon.

I had trouble with this sentence as well:

"So..." Arabella began, trying to tame her beating heart.

This is nitpicky, but Arabella is alive, so of course her heart is beating. Maybe the author meant that her heart was doing something more than just beating. Racing, maybe? Galloping?

Finally, this story illustrated something that I've seen Woman's World characters do ever since I started reading the magazine, and it makes me grit my teeth every time. A person cannot smile, grin, laugh, beam, or giggle words. Here is an excellent Writer's Digest article on the subject. I encourage all beginning writers to read this.

https://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/there-are-no-rules/keep-it-simple-keys-to-realistic-dialogue-part-ii

The article also mentioned something I highly recommend, which is reading your story aloud. This is an excellent hack to utilize when revising your story. It's amazing how you can hear mistakes that you don't catch when you're reading silently. Reading aloud is also an excellent way to find out if your dialogue sounds stilted and unnatural.

I know it seems as if I hated this story, but I truly didn't. The bones of a good story were there and I finished reading it feeling optimistic for Arabella and Morgan. I was just tripped up by a few details.

Photo by Evgeniy Isaev (via Flickr CC license)

Easter Wishes

by Kara Nicholas from the April 22, 2019 issue

Tagline: After 15 years of dreaming of her high school crush, Daniel, Emily fears she'll never find love. But when an Easter festival brings the two old friends back together again, she finds new hope for the future...and maybe even for love

Observations: I really liked this story, but then, I'm a sucker for old flame stories. This one made me smile a lot. Here are the high points for me.

"I'm sure you hear a lot with those ears." - OMG. So funny.

The little girl's dress was tangled up in knots. So was Emily, in a different way.

I wish to continue our conversation over dinner tonight. I promise not to wear the ears.

Also, you know that phrase, "show, don't tell?" That advice is a little misleading because sometimes you want to show and sometimes you'll want to tell. In Woman's World stories, often those transitions in which time passes, are an excellent place to tell. This story had a good example of that.

As the party began and the children tore into their eggs with glee, Emily couldn't help but feel disappointed. And later as she ushered her niece back to the car, opening the door to climb in, she heaved a long sigh.

Just like that, we've sped past the entire party and gotten back to the part that is of most interest--Emily and Daniel. She's also made this small paragraph the "black moment," during which Emily (and the reader) think that all is lost. Making things work double-duty is always a good idea in a Woman's World story.

Photo by Mark Mitchell (via Flickr cc license)

Love in Bloom

by Alyssa Symon from the April 15, 2019 issue

Tagline: After heartbreak leaves Angelica wondering if she's destined to be alone, she looks for solace in her community garden. But when her old flame shows up, she must decide if she can put aside the past and plant the seed for a brighter future.

Observations: It's been a while since we saw a "couple on the rocks" story and I thought Symon did a good job. I mean, who among us wouldn't love for an ex to realize he'd made a horrible mistake when he broke up with us?

I thought the backstory about her mom was poignant and the ending was lovely. I do wonder why, if he planned to help her in the garden, why he wore such nice clothes. LOL

Photo by: Poppet with a camera (via Flickr cc license)