Labor of the Heart

by Lisa Weaver from the September 4, 2023 issue

Tagline: After her dashing date abandons her on Labor Day, Cassie is heartbroken...until a familiar figure shows up on the beach.

Observations: I had mixed feelings about this story. It's definitely well-written, as Lisa Weaver's stories tend to be. I liked the sandcastle competition--that's an event that I would love to go to, in person, someday. I wrote one into one of my novels, too. 

However, at the end of the story when he proposes and she accepts, I didn't feel like it had been earned. I didn't quite believe that they'd made that strong of a connection. The reason why he disappeared was a solid one: his brother was in an accident and in his rush to get on a plane, he'd left his phone behind. These days, it's easy to believe that he did not have her phone number memorized so he could call from some other phone. 

However, we only got a couple of paragraphs about how they met and got to know each other, and that wasn't enough for me to believe they were ready to get engaged. I love an engagement as much as the next gal, but this one didn't feel justified.

Photo by Goncalo Cruz Matos via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Love So Sweet

by Marcie McEachern from the September 22, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Kate delivers a loaf of banana bread to one of Cottonwood's retirees, she receives more than a simple thank you!

Observations: Other than the slight cliche of a baker heroine, this story was great! McEachern used a plot device we see often in Woman's World stories--the mistaken identity. Here, Kate sees a man on a ladder and thinks it's Teddy Jacobs, friendly neighborhood senior citizen. Instead, it's his young, handsome (and single!) namesake. This plot device is tried and true and definitely one you should put in your toolbox.

I liked the humor, like when he says, "...whom do I have the pleasure of being bossed around by today?"

There's a solid black moment when the hero kind of slams the door in her face, which due to some good writing and timing wasn't as harsh as it sounds. The heroine thinks she'll probably never see this guy again.  But, surprise, he's actually not just visiting his grandfather, he's moving into town and starting his own business. 

Yes, Woman's World stories can be formulaic, but this is what the editors and readers want--the comfort of familiarity and McEachern did this very well here.

Photo by Beckmann's Bakery via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love on the Spot

by Vicki Cox from the August 21, 2023 issue

Tagline: When her lawn mower quits, Christy Mills needs help...but when Robert shows up to fix it, could he fix her broken heart too?

Observations: I really enjoyed the humor in this story. The running joke about the monkeys and the machete was cute. The hero was witty elsewhere too, like here:

"You know, your favorite ice cream can say a lot about you."

Christy grinned. "Really?"

"Sure. For example, mine is chocolate, which says that I'm trustworthy, hard-working, charming...oh, and humble."

I did find myself wondering what happened to her husband--did they divorce? Did he pass away?

I also wondered why, when she confessed that her favorite ice cream flavor was butter pecan, why he didn't tell her what that flavor said about her personality. 

Otherwise, cute tale!

Photo by Ivan Radic via Flickr Creative Commons License

Special Delivery

by Crystal Moore from the August 14, 2023 issue

Tagline: Back in the beach town of her childhood, Marina reconnects with an old crush from a pizzeria...and love is on the menu.

Observations: This was a darling story, despite the somewhat purple beginning. 

...a cry of agony pierced the night.

I haven't talked about a 3-act structure in a while and this story definitely has that. 

Act 1, we're introduced to Marina and her situation. She's coming off a break-up, she's at a beach rental she came to as a child, she had a crush on a pizza guy one summer and she's very sunburned.

Act 2 we meet the pizza boy, all grown up. We get information about how old they are--something I really appreciate when I'm reading Woman's World stories. Because they welcome adult protagonists of all ages, it's difficult to fully picture the characters if the author doesn't tell us how old they are. The same story can read very differently if it's about twenty-somethings vs seventy-somethings. 

Act 3, surprise! He returns with aloe gel, like the hero he is. And he asks her out. I liked his little jibe about red being her color. I always love humor in the story.

Photo by Ruth Hartnup via Flickr Creative Commons License

Good Old Summer Love

by Marcella Robinson from the July 31, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Gloria misses her exit during a storm, she stops at a local diner...and gets the surprise of a lifetime when her first crush steps out to greet her.

Observations: I thought this was a charming story. Robinson does a great job connecting the reader to the heroine, Gloria, by showing Gloria doing something we've all done--missing a freeway exit. We immediately identify with her. Then look at this next paragraph.

Lately, if she wasn't skipping by an exit, she was making a wrong turn. Yet she was filled with a sense of pride for venturing out on her own after her divorce.

Here, Robinson shows us that Gloria isn't a basket case. She's gotten past her divorce and is ready for the next phase in her life, which is perfect timing, right? Because Gloria is in the right frame of mind, we readers will be more willing to believe that a real relationship will grow between her and Ethan. Granted, this is a subtle detail, but if you lay the groundwork for the happily-ever-after properly, when the story is done, the reader will feel more confident that the couple will end up in love and they'll feel those feel good endorphins kick in, which is what we want!

Photo by waferboard via the Flickr Creative Commons License

The Art of New Love

by Wendel J. Potter from the July 24, 2023 issue

Tagline: All set up for her annual art festival, Delaney is excited for what's in store...but she never expects a handsome newcomer to steal her heart.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I love art festivals so I'm drawn into the story. 

Delaney has clearly attended college in the past, but we're not told how long ago. I have little idea of how old our heroine is. The only clue is that she's finding this dark haired man attractive and thinks he's a possible love interest, so she could be mid-twenties to mid-thirties?

Oh, the money from the art sales goes to needy kids? That's admirable, but the sign she hangs should state that. Money going to worthy causes is a powerful promotional tool. Talk about that rather than the fact that it's a silent auction.

He's only submitting one drawing, so he doesn't need an entire table.

If she planned to hang it on a wall then she why did she say she'd prepare a table for him?  

I'm confused as to why the drawing had to be covered until noon. What reason would Eric have? Her surprise and delight would be just as vivid no matter when he showed her. And why would she allow him to keep it covered in the first place? The passers-by would be unable to bid on it which defeats the purpose of the show.

Oh, I love the black moment, where Eric thinks she has a problem with his drawing and then she quips his own comment from the beginning of the story of her flyer leaning to the left. Genius! That's a black moment and bookending put together. Great job.

Despite all my notes on this story, I still enjoyed it, probably because the ending was spot on. 

Photo by Communications Office via Flickr Creative Commons License

Trail to Happiness

by Marti Attoun from the July 10, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Ramona stops to smell the roses, she meets a handsome newcomer who opens the door to friendship...and a blooming future.

Observations: I wanted to highlight a few things in Attoun's story. I really liked how she described the hero:

Up close, Ramona could see handsome laugh lines radiating from his green eyes and gray streaking his wavy hair. 

This not only gives us a clear picture of Andy, just look at those active verbs--radiating and streaking. Lovely.

She also used the bookending technique, which is mentioning something at both the beginning and end of the story to bring the tale full circle and give the feeling of closure. You'll see in these first and last sentences of the story, she tied the story together using "moseying."

Ramona set off at her usual moseying pace on the trail circling Brookfield Lake: slow enough to admire the roses cascading over the fence at her favorite lake front cottage.

"No need to hurry. I think we can make it, even if we mosey."

I also loved how she conveyed Ramona's physical reaction. Notice how there was no electricity nor did her heart perform any tricks. 

Andy laughed heartily, bringing with it [sic] a dizzying delight that made Ramona feel like her insides were cart-wheeling.

I'm not saying don't use electricity or make your characters' hearts soar or what have you, because Woman's World loves that. However, in my opinion, a little extra effort in the originality department can make a big difference. Small choices, made consistently in a story, can move a story from the ordinary category to the extraordinary category.

In fact, I challenge you right now to brainstorm some ways to convey a positive physical reaction that does not include the heart or any electrical impulses. I know you can do it!

Photo by Larry Jacobsen via Flickr Creative Commons License

Star-Spangled Love Story

 by Veda Boyd Jones from the July 3, 2023 issue

Tagline: Mike is entranced but intimidated by his beautiful new neighbor, Emily, until a chance opportunity finally brings them face-to-face for the first time.

Observations: Cute story. I liked how the guys had Mike's back and made themselves scarce when Emily offered them all lemonade.

Photo by WTF Colorado via Flickr Creative Commons License

Father's Day Match-Up

by Kay Layton Sisk from the June 19, 2023 issue

Tagline: Jess' daughter is worried her dad will be lonely after she gets married...until a beautiful stranger appears and changes everything.

Observations: I liked this story. In it I could see many familiar Woman's World story elements. There is the matchmaking daughter. There's also the classic misunderstanding when Jess sees Claire with "another man," who turns out to be her brother. 

Sisk revealed that it was her brother cleverly by having Claire mention it out of the blue instead of having Jess having to approach the subject in a roundabout way.

However, on my second read, I wondered at this:

"C'mon, Dad. It's Father's Day, and I would love your gift to be a date with a woman you like."

How exactly would she go about doing this? If Jess had said yes to either of the ladies Laura suggested, would she then go to the lady in question and say, "Hey, you're my Father's Day gift to my dad?" 

Even though that pulled me out of the story slightly, I still enjoyed it. 

Photo by waferboard via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Most Fun in the Sun

by P.S. Murray from the June 26, 2023 issue

Tagline: A little R&R on the beach is just what the doctor ordered for busy Sally...but she gets far more than she bargained for when handsome Hank arrives.

Observations: This was a darling story. I loved the four-year-old. I loved the premise, perhaps because I lost my little one at a corn maze once and it was terrifying, so I could relate to Hank's situation.

I did wonder, however, at the the fact that they're both on vacation and there's little chance their relationship can continue. I would like to have seen that resolved...perhaps during the dinner conversation they could have discovered they live in the same city... ? Your mileage may differ.

Photo by Ronnie via Flickr Creative Commons License

Summer Loving

by Marla Zarrow from the June 12, 2023 issue

Tagline: Ellen knows never to get involved with the summer folks who come to stay in her town...until Timothy comes along.

Observations: I made an assumption reading this story that turned out to be wrong, but it provided a Teaching Moment about names for the blog, so I'll take it! 

Since Ellen had tears in her eyes when she gazed at "Jake Ellery's seaside cabin" at the beginning of the story, I thought Jake Ellery was an ex for whom she still had feelings. 

When you give a character (Jake Ellery) a first and last name, you mark them as a person of importance in the story.

For instance...

The waitress took their order.

The reader will not think this waitress is important. They are the story equivalent of a movie extra--you know, like in the credits when someone is billed as Girl with Dog.

Now, I'm going to give the waitress a full name.

The waitress, Theresa Rodgers, took their order.

The reader will naturally expect this person to have a greater role in the story because the writer gave her a full name. 

You can give a character just a first name and not be assigning too much importance to him/her, if only because it can get awkward to keep using the phrase "the waitress" over and over. But give a character a full name and that character will be expected to have a greater role than movie extra.

This also applies to the amount of physical description you give to a character. The more description there is, the more important the person.

Photo by Ruth Hartnup via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Love at First Catch

by Melanie Dusseau from the June 5, 2023 issue

Tagline: Heading to her family cabin for a long weekend, Liz sets out to fish on the lake...and reels in more than she bargained for when Bob comes along.

Observations: This story was a big bold splash of summer.  It was as if Dusseau brainstormed summer and put everything she wrote down into this story. There's the fishing and the cabin on the lake. She also repeated a sun motif throughout.

Suddenly, the fish surfaced, thrashing in a spill of sunlight by the dock.

She squinted into the sun at the sigh of an approaching boat.

The man stepped sure-footedly onto the dock, the sun lighting a glimmer in his blue eyes.

They stood on the edge of the dock grinning--like the children they once were--there in the rainbow made by sun and oil glinting off the water's reflection.

If you didn't finish this story yearning for all the joys of the summer season, you need to read the story again!

Photo by Michael Seeley via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Love to the Rescue

by Marti Attoun from the May 22, 2023 issue

Tagline: After a disastrous morning, Eleanor is about to have a muffin catastrophe at the grocery store, when a gallant stranger steps in to save the day.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: This is where I record my thoughts as I have them as I'm reading the story. If you follow this blog, you'll have noted the long gap between analyses. I'm happy to say this is because it seems as if I've burst through my two-year-long writer's block and am 25K words into a new novel. So, sorry, not sorry!

Could her morning get any crazier? Perhaps she could get hit by a meteor? -- Funny.

Oh my gosh, I have had this happen to me too, but it wasn't blueberries. It was a head of garlic that rolled under a car. I'm short with arms to match and I couldn't reach it. Luckily, I had something in my car that allowed me to bat at the garlic to get it within reach. This is what you have to do when you don't have a handsome stranger offering to help.

I love whirligigs.

LOL. She used a purple chip bag clip in her hair. That's hilarious, but I'd tell her not to worry. Men don't usually notice stuff like this.

She looked like a demented peacock! -- Also funny. This reminds me...in my Deep Dive Class, I talk about including humor in your stories along with the different types of humor that I've observed in the magazine. This is self-deprecating humor and Attoun used it masterfully here.

If she snatched the bag clip and her graying tumbleweeds... -- LOL

...one lost breath mint -- I love this tiny detail. It adds realism. We've all discovered stuff in our purses we forgot about.

Hm. I'm not sure I agree with Eleanor's assessment that his good deed deserved a cash payment. He just picked up her fruit.

"Too much to mention," he blurted. -- I don't understand this bit of dialogue. I've reread it several times and it's not clicking.

He has wavy dark hair but hers is graying. You go, cougar girl!

Again, this part of the story confused me. All of a sudden he's mentioning a flea market where he thinks he's seen her. 

Here we have a flashback to convey some backstory. Nice.

Bart's lightheartedness was contagious... -- LOL. I read this as lightheadedness.

Hm, she's baking blueberry...cupcakes? Is this a regional thing? To me, blueberries in cupcake form are muffins. 

Ah, cute ending.

Photo by Yukiko Matsuoka via Flickr Creative Commons License

Like Mother, Like Daughter

by Mary Ann Joyce and Rakel Joyce from the May 15, 2023 issue

Tagline: Jane is scared that setting up her mom with her husband's uncle was a bad idea...until she sees the sparks start to fly in the best way

Stream of Consciousness Observations: This is where I record my thoughts as I have them as I'm reading the story. In all honesty, this is usually because I'm criminally behind in my analyses.

Oh, my son's name is Brian. Great name. LOL

Ah, I have a brother in law who is uber-competitive. I wonder what board game they're playing. I love board games!

Oh, backgammon. I love backgammon! 

They're serving lemonade. This is the beverage of choice in Woman's World stories. Well, that and hot cocoa. LOL Not throwing shade here. Just an observation about how even the smallest details can set the tone of a story. 

What child doesn't want their single parent to find someone to share their life with? I am connecting with the couple here.

There's quite a bit of backstory here, which is fine. It's filling in the characters of Jane and Rose so they're more rounded. It's a bit difficult to achieve proper characterization in 800 words, but it can--and should, if possible--be done.

Oh, we're also getting a little bit about Brian and what made him husband material in Rose's eyes. This bit also gives you the motivation behind Jane's matchmaking attempt.

They have news to share? Ha! I bet we all know what the news is, which is fine. Sometimes a plot twist comes as a complete surprise, which can be so much fun. But sometimes the reader predicts, which is fine, because they usually will read on to find out if they were right or not.

A note about names that you may not have thought about...it can be a good idea, when choosing names, to vary the number of syllables and the beginning letter because otherwise you may be risking the reader getting confused. For instance, I wouldn't name two male characters Jim and John or two female characters named Lisa and Linda. I'd avoid names that rhyme or sound alike as well, like Carrie and Mary.

Aha! I was right. There's a baby on the way!

Photo credit: Mark Bonica via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Recipe for a Reunion

by Debra McNally from the May 8, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Boe's high school crush turns up at his food truck, old sparks start to fly...

Observations: I love food trucks. I love that someone put a food truck in a Woman's World story. I think the Banana Bread Butty sounds delicious, if super fattening.

Also, the Old Flame trope is always a fun one to build a story around. You can insert a little nostalgia into the story by pulling in something from your own past that you remember fondly. In this case, it was a high school cooking class. (Do they even still have these for kids these days? If not, that's sad.) 

What things from your past could you build a story around?

Photo by Whitney via Flickr Creative Commons License

Falling Into New Love

by Millicent Porter Henry from the May 1, 2023 issue

Tagline: After taking a spill on her bike, Maggie is left injured and in need of aid...and her handsome rescuer offers her more than just a helping hand.

Observations: I may be wrong but this feels like the first man-to-the-rescue story that I've seen in a bit. Man-to-the-rescue is a time-honored trope for Woman's World, but don't get your feminist panties in a twist because it's completely possible to flip the gender and write a woman-to-the-rescue story.

What's fun about this story is that it had a twist. The man doing the rescuing had an ulterior motive--he wanted to ask Maggie out. So, in a way, it was good luck that she took that spill.

Photo by Simon Lee via Flickr Creative Commons License

A "Bunny" Kind of Love

by Denice Stradling from the April 10, 2023 issue

Tagline: When a real-life Easter Bunny shows up in her yard, Emma never expects to fall for its handsome owner...or get a second shot at love.

Observations: This was adorable. The little girl was cute as can be. I loved that the matchmaker came out and confessed! I don't remember seeing that in a matchmaker story before. I mean, who doesn't love a crafty, endearing grandpa?

I also really liked this paragraph:

Just then Nick and Shelley came back, her arms full of chocolate eggs. I was still dazed by Pete's confession. And although it took more in common than a divorce, Nick had touched something in me. I had shunned even thinking about dating for the past year. But wasn't Easter a good a time as any for new beginnings?

This showed a turning point for Emma, which shows her character arc--the point where she changes from one type of person (unwilling to date because of divorce) to a new type of person (willing to take a chance on love.) And as I was just telling one of my editing clients, character development is a Good Thing, even in stories as short as these.

Photo by essie via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Airport Attraction

by Audrey Wick from the April 3, 2023 issue

Tagline: Laurel is sure her love story with Ryan is over as she steps into the airport...until a surprise visitor changes everything.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: In case you're not familiar, in Stream of Consciousness Observations, I just put down my thoughts and reactions live as I read the story.

Oooh, she's being brave about something. I wonder what it is. Is she travelling alone for the first time? First time on a plane?

She's leaving a boyfriend. Poor thing.

Ah, a workmate relationship. That's always a dicey decision. If it goes south, like it looks like it did, you still have to see each other at work everyday.

Ryan broke up with her because she wanted to make more money and see places? She's better off without him!

Yet there was one bright spot... -- What is the bright spot?

I just realized this is that classic trope from rom coms where the hero stops the heroine from leaving on the plane with a heartfelt speech or grand gesture!

Okay, pretty good speech, Ryan. I will now allow Laurel to stay with you. LOL

Photo by club ohen via Flickr Creative Commons License

Winning His Irish Heart

by Lisa Weaver from the March 20, 2023 issue

Tagline: Becca has lost several local contests to her town rival, Brody, until the luck of the Irish gifts her an unexpected win: a chance at love.

Observations: You wouldn't necessarily expect an 800-word story to have character development, but it's not that difficult to do, believe it or not. 

This is one of the things I cover in my class, How to Write and Sell Romance to Woman's World Magazine. All you need to do is give the heroine a goal and show them working towards and achieving that goal. Or show the character as having a "negative" characteristic and show them behaving in a different way. 

In this story, Becca is in denial about her attraction to Brody. She's also shy. Then, thanks to her employee's encouragement, she admits to liking him and conquers her shyness enough to flirt with him.

All the 5-minute romances will all be about finding love, but adding character development can give a story more depth. 

Photo by Melissa Hellier via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love at First Latte

by Claudia Irene Scott from the March 13, 2023 issue

Tagline: On a visit to her favorite cafe in town, Celeste never expects to find love...until a freak storm brings it right through the front door.

Observations: This story reminded me of that part in the Lady and the Tramp movie where they go to that Italian restaurant. I know. This was a coffee shop, not an Italian restaurant. They didn't kiss over spaghetti either. But it still evoked that warm romantic feeling inside me. 

There was no question of Max and Celeste connecting. It was very evident. Celeste noticed and heartily appreciated his great bod. They learned a lot about each other during their conversation too. Showing or telling how the characters are connecting is of vital importance. The editors have said lack of connection is one the top three reasons they reject a story. 

I did catch a typo...

As he took off his soaked sweatshirt, beneath which Celeste observed his taught torso.

And I wondered why he put cologne on to go jogging.

Other than that, I thought it was a charming story.

Photo by Jeremy Keith via Flickr Creative Commons License