Darling Patrick

by Le Ann Dowd from the April 8, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her dear friend Libby passes away, Jamie fears her new neighbor won't carry on her lovely sidewalk library. But when Libby's nephew, Patrick comes along, Jamie finds hope for the library's future...and maybe even for love

Observations: I'm going to do a stream of consciousness analysis this week. I have new book coming out next week and am crunched for time.

I LOVE the idea of sidewalk libraries. I have toyed with the idea of making one myself. (See below for a link to a comprehensive website about this phenomenon.) So to pair this with the idea that her best friend's library might go neglected--immediate heartstring tug.

His hair was thick and dark, his eyes coffee brown with a hint of stubbornness in them--exactly as Libby had described him.

Wait, I thought Libby was gone. Oh, there we go. It's her nephew, so Libby told Jamie about him before she passed.

The faint, woodsy scent of his aftershave conjured images of cozy evenings by a fire.

Love this construct of a scent conjuring images. It doesn't have to be a scent. It could be the sight of some nice biceps, or the sound of deep male laughter. Must use this myself. LOL

OMG. Jane Austen's Emma. I love that book. I loved the movie.

Okay, after the part where Jamie opens the novel, I sped through reading the rest of the story without stopping to think about anything analytical, which is a great thing. It means my editing brain turned off and I could just enjoy the tale. I'll have to go back and point out all the good stuff.

--That the book echoes Libby's own matchmaking attempts
--The repeated, humorous use of "Darling Patrick" and "my neighbor Jamie."
--The reveal of Libby's dastardly plan using the book to get them together.
--This sentence: "Patrick's laugh twined around mine, warming the space between us." LOVE
--The two of them connecting quietly over the pain of divorce.
--The big surprise at the end that he's not selling the house after all.

I absolutely adored this story.

Little Free Library info: https://littlefreelibrary.org/
Photo by Rick Obst (Flickr CC license)

Service Call

by Heather Black from the April 1, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her divorce, Jennifer Campbell moved to a new town looking for a fresh start. And when she came across hunky neighborhood repairman Justin Roe, all it took was a broken furnace to ignite new hope in her heart.

Observations: I liked probably 85% of this story. In fact, I totally laughed when Justin said he'd be at her house within an hour to fix her furnace because when has a repairman ever said that in real life??? LOL However, near the end I hit a couple of speed bumps and then I had a problem with the ending as well.

Please remember what I say here is only my opinion and does not mean this isn't a good or well-written story. It just means I'm a nit-picky, opinionated person. Obviously, the editorial staff liked it enough to publish.

The first thing I wanted to point out is a "mistake" I often see in Woman's World stories that I've edited for people--failing to leverage an emotional moment for maximum impact. Here, it's that moment when Justin asks if she'd like to take a ride together on Saturday. Throughout the whole story, Jennifer has been riding past his house for a month and mooning over him, wanting something to happen. When it finally does, this is what we get:

"I'd like that,[sic]" Jennifer smiled as Justin hefted his toolbox to leave.

If this had been my story, I'd have added 2 or 3 sentences to expand on this moment to talk about her reaction to finally having gotten his attention and realizing that the attraction was mutual. (The author may have made the choice to be sparse here because of the way the story ended. More on that in a moment.)

Then, after having been pretty deep in Jennifer's POV, we change to Justin's for one paragraph. This was particularly jolting. I liked the information--it gave us a bit of interesting info about Justin. He's a fast thinker. LOL And he likes Jennifer enough to buy a bike so he can spend time with her. However, after that one sentence in Justin's POV, we return to Jennifer's.

As a writer, I would have given a lot of thought to whether the information we get in Justin's POV is worth making the reader switch points of view twice. In my opinion, it was not.

And then, we find out that Jennifer sabotaged her own furnace to contrive a reason to call Justin.

For some reason--perhaps an overly sensitive conscience--I didn't like this sneaky behavior. It's weird, though, because when other characters, like matchmakers, best friends, or co-workers, are sneaky on the protagonists' behalf, I'm fine with it. But this made me not like Jennifer as much as I had before. Then, when I re-read the story, it occurred to me that Justin lied too, when he said "I also happen to love bike riding." While that white lie didn't bother me at all on the first reading, it did stand out more upon the second.

I'm absolutely certain that great numbers of people (including the editors) will not have this reaction to the story. (It also appeared in the April 1 issue, so maybe it was a slight nod to April Fool's Day?) So, as always, take this with a grain of salt. I think it comes down to personal preference.

Photo credit: (nutmeg) via Flickr CC license

Second Chance Cupid

by Karen Rock from the March 25, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her husband passed away, Joy Cade never expected to find love again...until she happens to run into an old flame, who ignites a new spark.

Observations: Unfortunately, this story didn't work for me.

I wanted to know how long it had been since Joy's husband passed away. Because the story begins with her attending a bereavement support group meeting, I'm thinking anywhere from 1 to 3 years. But I don't believe we ever find out how long she's been a widow. She didn't act like she was in mourning at all, so maybe it'd been a long time. But if it's been a long time, why is she going to the meeting at all?

Joy and Boyd end up interviewing each other, as per the counselor's instructions and Boyd asks what her favorite color is and she replies, "You know darn well what it is!" He demonstrates that he does, indeed, know it's yellow and then she says, "Can't believe you remember that." Ah...just a minute ago she accused him of knowing exactly what it was.

Their tone is very playful and flirty, which seems inappropriate for that kind of meeting. I normally wouldn't have a problem with a little giggling and harmless disobedience from characters, but the other people there are at that meeting because they are hurting inside and are seeking support. I find myself not respecting Joy and Boyd. I'd much rather have seen them talk and flirt after the meeting, not during, and I was sort of glad to see the counselor kick them out.

After I'd finished reading it, I saw the bit about reading Karen Rock's latest book, Winning the Cowboy's Heart and wondered if my problems with this story stemmed from it being an excerpt from the novel modified into a Woman's World story. After some investigation, I found out the characters in Winning the Cowboy's Heart are named Heath and Jewel, but there is a connection, because the setting Cade Ranch and there is a family feud. I will just assume that there is some sort of plot or backstory already set up about Joy and Boyd and that we ended up missing some crucial details in the story that appeared in Woman's World.

Photo credit: NOAA Photo Library via Flickr CC license

As Luck Would Have It

by Loretta Martin from the March 18, 2019 issue

Tagline: After a painful divorce, Amy's life had been one misfortune after another. But when she runs into a handsome Irishman, her luck begins to change.

Observations: What stood out to me in this story was the character of Amy. Yes, she suffered through a less than ideal marriage and subsequent divorce, but is she bitter or melancholy or hopeless? Heck no. She's out there doing things...

Since moving back to her hometown six months ago, she'd been trying to settle into her new life in the wake of her marriage going up in flames. Despite volunteering at a shelter, joining a book club and holding down her office job, she still had too much free time. And a few blind dates had been total washouts.

In the next paragraph, you find out that she also recently got "a makeover, complete with a new haircut and makeup overhaul."

This is a woman who is facing her life as a newly single woman head-on. This type of attitude is exactly what Woman's World magazine espouses in every issue. Keep this in mind when you write your stories.

Photo credit: Umberto Salvagnin via Flickr CC license

Woman in the Window

by Alyssa Symon from the March 11, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her divorce, Lucy Myers wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to love again--until a sweet delivery filled her heart with new hope.

Observations: When I read this story, I wasn't crazy about the beginning, but by the end of the story, I really enjoyed it.

First off, I thought I'd caught a spelling error - revery. I thought it was reverie. I've always spelled it reverie. But I looked it up and there it was on Dictionary.com.

Then, Lucy came off a little sadly desperate to me. Every morning, she sits and waits for this man to deliver her newspaper to the point where she's fussing with her hair before he gets there. Having read the complete story, I see that she has to be in the window every day, or else the poem wouldn't make sense.

I've been sitting here trying to figure out a way to make her not seem a little pitiful, and can't. But maybe it doesn't matter because a) it got published! LOL and b) by the end of the story, I didn't really care. I really liked 95% of the story. It was just that one paragraph that had me wrinkling my nose.

Photo credit: Jon S via Flickr CC license

Snowflake Sweethearts

by Dana Mentink from the March 4, 2019 issue

Tagline: Tammy Brisco's move to the big city left her feeling all alone, until a handsome baker offered a sweet taste of home that warmed her heart.

Observations: I enjoyed this story. I really liked the idea of a changing window display. That's a really clever marketing idea, actually. People will get curious and will want to see what is added.

I did get tripped up here:

When she arrived home, she was greeted by a flyer announcing a social in the lobby.

I got pulled out of the story because I had stop and figure out that it must be the lobby of the building she lives in. I don't remember her mentioning living in an apartment or condominium complex, but someone correct me if I missed it.

Also--and this may just be me--it felt weird to me that she invited herself to go along sledding with him. I do like it when the women are assertive in these stories, but to me, that seemed awkwardly forward. It might have worked better if Rick had included two little cookie nieces in the display.  Then it would have made sense to me that Tammy was just responding to his hint.

Photo by switthoft via Flickr CC license

Let it Snow

by Mary Ann Joyce from the February 25, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Kelly Rodgers finds herself trapped in her bookstore during the worst snowstorm of the year, it looks like she's in for a long and lonely night...until handsome shop owner Lane Bucks comes to keep her company,

Observations: I really liked the paragraph about Lane, about a fourth of the way into the story. In it, Joyce does two things--she gives a good physical description of him and manages to show that Kelly has a crush on him at the same time. Because these stories are so short, making paragraphs, or even sentences, work double duty is a good idea.

Like with last week's story, I'm loving the playful banter. It might be just me, but when the hero and heroine converse easily with wit and humor, it signals to me that they are compatible. Plus, it just makes for a fun, well-written story.

William Shakespurr??? OMG LMAO.

Shouldn't he have replied, "I'm puss-itive your cat likes your neighbor better?" Two cat play at that game.

Okay, that moment after she says yes to sharing the take-out and he breathes a sigh of relief? That is so adorable. Don't you just fall in love with him right then and there? Joyce showed us his vulnerability and makes you really root for him.

I really love, too, how Joyce really used the sporting goods store as more than window dressing. (No pun intended.) She might have just had him own a dry cleaner or a pet supply or any other kind of store. Instead, she chose a store that she could use later in the story.

The only thing that didn't really sing for me was the ending and I'll admit this is a picky thing. I've mentioned before about bringing a story full circle by pulling something from the beginning of the story for a reprise at the end. In this case it was Gus the security guy saying, "A night at the mall isn't the worst," and Kelly saying, "A night at the mall with you isn't the worst." I was trying to figure out why I wasn't crazy about this bit and it may have been because it was Gus who said this. I'm not really sure, but this ending didn't seem worthy of the rest of the story. Maybe another cat pun? "I agree. This has been just purrfect."

Photo credit: Kevin Cabral via Flickr cc License

Call for submissions

This is Alex's post from the Woman's World Facebook group.

Good afternoon, all!

Just a quick note to let everyone know that the call for Mother's Day stories is officially closed—we have just e-mailed the authors of selected stories to let them know their stories have been chosen! Congratulations to all whose stories have been selected, and thank you to all who submitted such wonderful work!

Our latest call is for Memorial Day-themed romances and mini mysteries. That call will be open from today through the March 20th, so please be sure to e-mail any stories through by that date.

As always, if anyone has any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to e-mail me at apollock@bauerpublishing.com. Wishing everyone a wonderful evening and a fantastic week ahead!

Skating into Her Heart

by Tina Radcliffe from the February 18, 2019 issue

Tagline: Love is the last thing on divorcee Tracey Cole's mind when she takes her daughter skating one Saturday night...until Coach Jim breaks the ice.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I already like the conversation between Tracey her her daughter. It sounds very realistic. Mara's horror when Tracy announces she's coming along was funny. I found myself siding with Tracey because why go out into that freezing weather twice?

Oh, oops. LOL Somehow she was looking out the kitchen window and then was eyeing the skates at the back of the closet.

"It's like riding a bike...on ice." LOL

Wait, they're outside? Okay, this Southern California girl has only been to ice rinks that are inside buildings, so that's what my brain was conjuring.

I'm totally laughing at this:

"So...come here often?"

Tracey groaned. "Is that a pickup line?"

"It will be if you fall down again."

OMG hilarious.

The rest of the story was perfect. Really romantic, with more witty banter and returning to phrases..."teen patrol" and "mom patrol" and "double axel" and "triple Lutz."

I'm also realizing that Radcliffe cleverly snuck in a character arc for the daughter, who went from recalcitrant and resentful of her mom to encouraging.

Photo credit: Billie Grace Ward via Flickr cc license

Sweet Change of Heart

by Delsora Lowe from the February 11, 2019 issue

Tagline: Brokenhearted after his divorce, Adam can barely stand the thought of Valentine's Day...until his old high school flame, Susie, helps him find joy again.

Observations: I had a bit of a rocky start when I read the first paragraph of this story--word choices, mostly. Have I mentioned that I'm super picky about word usage? You might have already noticed this. Here's one instance

"But ever since their acrimonious divorce two years before, his broken heart had changed." 

It's the word "changed" that's bugging me here. I might have said this instead: "But their acrimonious divorce two years before had broken his heart," or maybe "But ever since their acrimonious divorce two years before, he'd had a change of heart toward February fourteenth."

I had a similar reaction to "February mounted into the double digits." I think the right would would have been "entered," but I could be wrong.

However, I'm happy to say after that first paragraph, I got into this old-flame story and ended up liking it a lot. I loved the goofy Valentine's heart costume. I thought there was some witty banter too.

Photo credit: Squidish via Flickr CC license

A Super Bowl Surprise

by Jill Weatherholt from the February 4, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her husband passed away, Janie couldn't even think about playing the field...until a chance meeting got her back in the game.

Observations: This was a cute Super Bowl-themed matchmaker story. I enjoyed it. I was surprised to see the actual words "Super Bowl" used in the story because the NFL is notorious about protecting their copyright. I was in Las Vegas during Super Bowl weekend and the Aria Resort and Casino didn't even use the words Super Bowl. Instead, they said "The Big Game." But then again, they were using the words to advertise an event, so maybe that's the difference. Does anyone still have the magazine? Because I'd expect they would not be able to use Super Bowl on the cover, since the cover sells the magazine.

Janie Edmiston tried not to smile. -- I find myself wondering why she didn't want to smile.

I liked the idea of them meeting at the sporting goods store while buying jerseys, however, they're going to buy full-on jerseys? Just for the party? Maybe this is just a case of the author and/or editors not really differentiating between shirts and jerseys, because why not just a T-shirt? Jerseys run about $75 to $150. Maybe I'm just cheap, but I attended a 60s themed party once and I wanted to spend as little as I could get away with because I wasn't going to wear any of it again. Also, of all the Super Bowl parties, I've attended, I've never seen anyone actually wear team colors, let alone actual gear. But maybe, because I live in LA, people are just "too cool" to do that kind of thing. LOL

Seasoned Woman's World readers will immediately realize Janie and Drew will end up at the same party. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Often, it gives readers that feeling of being in on a secret that the characters are unaware of, sort of like being invited to a surprise party, which is so much fun.

"...the door opened with a sweeping gesture." -- Is this grammatically correct? It's clear what the author meant. We can all picture it, but I think the sentence is suggesting the door gestured.

She stopped just shy of the fridge, her heart hammering in her chest. -- I notice this is the third time her heart did something. As a writer, you may not notice that you are repeating yourself or that you are using a "crutch" word or phrase. I find my characters constantly chuckling, smiling and shrugging. It's something I have to be on guard for and sometimes it's better to have someone else read over your story because we often don't notice our crutch words in our own work.

"I can't wait to see what happens next." -- This struck me as a kind of odd thing to say, especially as the ending sentence of the story. If it had been my story, I might try to throw something football related in and I would have had to reach out to friends who are football fans because I'm a hockey girl, through and through.

I think it might have been good to include one more mention of Janie's getting over the death of her husband two years prior. We get that info at the beginning of the story and then never hear anything more. To show Janie's growth more clearly, I would like to have seen her think about her late husband just once more -- perhaps a memory of how much he loved her salsa or maybe he insisted on buying jerseys for the team he was rooting for, so that's why she spent so much money, to keep the tradition alive.

As always, these are just my opinions. Your mileage may vary. :)

Photo by: Ted Kerwin via Flickr CC license

More Than Puppy Love

by Alyssa Symon from the January 28, 2019 issue

Tagline: Erika had given up on finding love, content with the unconditional affection from her furry friends, until a serendipitous accident gave her new hope.

Observations: I wanted to analyze the black moment in this story because it was particularly nice.

Boy meets girl.
Boy tends to girl's bumped head.
Girl confesses:

"I love animals. I had a dog growing up, Scotty. He was my best friend. My parents worked a lot, but Scotty was always there for me. I wanted to give other kids the opportunity to have a best friend like Scotty..."

Boy goes silent for a moment.
Girl thinks boy thinks she's wacko for having a dog for a best friend.
Boy confesses...he's a vet!

I really liked how Erika's self-doubt made us really feel for her. We've all felt that uncertainty that we've stuck our foot (or paw!) in our mouth.

I also thought the ending--where he brought the hot cocoa to her, and they drank a toast to animals--was perfect.

Photo credit: Marco Verch via Flickr CC license

The True Love Experiment

by Elizabeth Palmer from the January 21, 2019 issue

Tagline: Christie was having no luck finding her Prince Charming using her friend's supposedly fail-safe dating method...until Dan stepped in to save the day.

Observations: I loved this friends-to-lovers story.

Elizabeth Palmer is a regular contributor to the magazine and this story proves she knows what she's doing. At the beginning of the tale, she talks about Christie suffering through some bum dates. She could have described them, perhaps milking them for comic effect, which is something I might have done. But she chose not to, which is another perfectly valid choice, because Woman's World magazine celebrates the positive. It's almost like that old saying, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." If you go that route when writing your stories, you'll probably not go wrong.

We saw Dan being chivalrous (but with an ulterior motive, of course), which is always a good trait in a Prince Charming and in a Woman's World story hero. We also saw the heroine not being passive by saying, "Well, I'm free tomorrow night." That's right, Christie. You go, girl.

Palmer also nailed the ending with that text.

Photo by Ian Lee via Flickr CC license

News from the Editor

There is a Facebook group for WW Writers (link in the side bar) that Alessandra Renna, the new Fiction Editor, visits and posts on every once in a while. I'm going to make an effort to pass on the info here for those who don't use Facebook. These are her words, cut and pasted.

Jan 11, 2019  Jan 31, 2019

Firstly, and most importantly, in our romance section, we have started to promote books and novellas by our wonderful authors! What this means for writers who have submitted or have had their pieces accepted to appear in Woman's World is that alongside your submission, we would also love to hear about any books you have upcoming or have published in the recent past (2-3 years ago), where they are available for purchase, and for you to attach a hi-res jpeg of the book cover for us!

Secondly, the criteria for selection have been altered slightly, so I wanted to offer some quick 'guidelines' so everyone knows what's being looked for (and chosen!) for both romance and mini mysteries. Here are some quick things to include in future submissions, as well as some themes that our editors are loving right now!

Romance:
—your contact information (name, address, e-mail, phone #)
—stories with LOTS of chemistry, i.e. gazing into the eyes, stomaches erupting in butterflies, etc. NOTE: this does NOT mean racy! Just evocative description of the sparks of first love flying
—hopeful endings/kickers that leave the reader feeling like the future is bright and anything is possible
—love in later life—our readers are LOVING stories about people who find love later in life, so keep them coming!
—witty banter/flirtation
—love-hate stories. Our editor has a fondness for stories where the protagonist has a love/hate relationship that quickly turns to love
—super seasonal stories. As we are a weekly, be sure to keep in mind the holidays/weather patterns that are in play for your selection. As we are moving into April and May, Mother's Day comes to mind :)

Jan 25, 2019

I just checked in with my colleague in accounting here at the magazine, and she suggested that it would be helpful for any writers who have not been published within the last 12 months or for writers who have never published with us before to indicate that fact alongside their submissions. It would be as simple as adding a line at the top of your submission stating, "I am a new writer for Woman's World" or "I haven't been published in the magazine for the past 12 months".

This will flag our accounting team that you are a new writer who will need to receive a W9 alongside their contract, should your story be selected! As usual, please include your full name (the name you will be using on the contracts, as well as your pen name, should you have one), address and a line indicating that you are a new writer alongside any submissions. For those of you who have already submitted and are new to Woman's World/haven't been published in the last 12 months AND have had a story selected for publication, you can always e-mail me at apollock@bauerpublishing.com to let me know that you are a new writer, and I will give our accounting department a heads up.

Jan 31, 2019

In the coming weeks, we will be looking for Easter-themed submissions for both mini mysteries and romance selections, so please feel free to send any and all that you may have in the works to us at fiction@womansworldmag.com. 

A Truly Special Treat

by Veda Boyd Jones from the January 14, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her husband died, Cheryl lost all of her joy. But on a trip to the Grand Canyon, a handsome stranger showed her how beautiful life can be.

Stream of Consciousness Observations:

First paragraph, we get her backstory. As noted before, the stories are very short, so best to get that important info across succinctly. She's a widow and it's been two years. If you're a regular reader of Woman's World romance, you already know this will be a "moving on" story.

I like this description: But as the deep reds and golds of the canyon swirled on her television...

Time to start living again. -- Yep. A "moving on" story, all right.

Another very nice description: She shivered, eyes wide at the wondrous pageant before her as the rising son illuminated the canyon's rich purples, reds and golds.

"Over here, Angie." -- Ah! It's also a misunderstanding story. Again, veteran readers will know that Angie's not the wife. She's a sister or friend or co-worker. LOL This doesn't take anything away from the story. This is the "black moment" of the story when we think there won't be a happy ending. Notice that it occurs in the middle of the story, whereas in a novel, it occurs more in the last third of the book. We still feel the Cheryl's disappointment, but as readers, we also are in on the secret that Glen is actually available and we anticipate that moment of surprise when she finds out the truth.

Angie's the sister. Called it!

I love the conniving sisters. LOL

More vivid description: Outside, the sky lit up in fiery yellows and magenta, as the shadows of the canyon turned gorgeous royal purple.

This story had a strong color motif, which is something I don't see often in Woman's World stories. Nicely done. This story also felt more romantic than the last few stories. Having read the story, I think the title could have been more clever.

Photo credit: lwtt93 via Flickr CC license

The Man with a Plan

by Kay Layton Sisk from the January 7, 2019 issue

Tagline: Tom is dying to meet his beautiful new neighbor, Jennifer, but can never find the right time...until a snowstorm gives him a chance to warm her heart.

Observations: I remember back when I was first targeting Woman's World as a publication I wanted to write for, the first story I read in their magazine had a dog in it. There came a time when people noticed that they liked dogs in their stories--so much so that they eventually put the kibosh on dogs for a little while because they were getting so many submissions with canines. LOL

This was a cute story. I liked all the action in it. There was a nice "full-circle" element--starting with the snowstorm and the good news/bad news thing and ending with the line:

"As Tom felt a radiant warmth spread in his chest, he realized the snowstorm was good news after all."

I did catch a typo. Did anyone else see it?

Photo credit: FarCryStudios via Flickr CC license

New Year, New Beginning

by Nina Singh from the December 31, 2018 issue

Tagline: Gina's New Year's resolution is to take more risks, but when her business partner, Rafe, puts it to the test, will she be able to make the leap?

Observations: This week I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness critique, which means, I read the story and type my thoughts as they occur to me.

"One tall peppermint latte with a shot of espresso." - Tall lattes automatically have a shot of espresso. Maybe he meant an extra shot.

...tall, dark and handsome man - Not loving the cliche.

"That's why our partnership works so well." - I'm wondering what business they run together.

"These peppermint lattes should be available all year," Gina said. - I work for Starbucks and as a public service announcement, I will tell you that you can, indeed, get peppermint lattes and peppermint mocha lattes all year. The only thing that will be missing are those chocolate shavings on top. The shavings we only get during the holidays.

You two are so cute when you almost-flirt. - Love this line. I love snarky secondary characters.

There was so much to do before they began decorating the small advertising agency. - Aha! It's an advertising agency.

"Didn't she tell you? She said she had to run out. It's just you and me, it seems." - Okay, wait. It's only a three-person office? Before it said "They both had so much fun planning the event and pulling it together." That's a bit of an overstatement if the party only involves three people, max. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I'd never throw a party, complete with streamers, for three people unless it was extenuating circumstances, like someone was sick in the hospital and the party was in their room.

Edited to add: someone pointed out to me that it was probably a party for clients as well. Now I feel dumb for not realizing! LOL

"We seem to have found ourselves under leftover mistletoe from the Christmas party." - I'm being really snarky here, but obviously they enjoy throwing parties for just three people.

I'm at the end of the story and I know it's only 800 words, but I think I'd like to have seen that conversation in which they resolve the problem be a little meatier. I feel like it wrapped up too fast, like they didn't address the possible problems well enough. Of course, this isn't their only chance to talk about things, but just a sentence or two more from Rafe when he was declaring his feelings would have made me feel better about their budding romance.

Also the photo of the two people holding the heart balloon is a strange choice.

Even so, I did like the story and am glad that the Harlequin authors' stories seem to be fitting in more with the tone of the "normal" Woman's World stories.

Photo credit: skeddy in NYC via Flickr CC license

Home for Christmas

by Clare Connelly from the December 17, 2018 issue

Tagline: When Captain Jake Casey returns to his hometown for the holidays, he searches for the woman he loved, [sic] and had left behind. And under mistletoe, he finds a Christmas miracle.

Observations: This was a charming story that was full of the type of small town nostalgia that Woman's World loves.  Connelly really packed in a lot of lovely description and did a great job of weaving Jack's backstory and the circumstances of his leaving into the narrative.

I especially liked this part:

Her eyes locked on his and for an instant, he saw her as she'd been when they first met when they were both 5 years old. Then as a 15-year-old, dancing with him under the stars, when she'd said she loved him for the first tim [sic]. The 18-year-old who'd cried and slapped him when he'd enlisted without telling her.

Wow. You could see their entire history in one paragraph. I might have fixed the double "whens" by saying "when they first met at 5 years old."

I also wanted to point out that the story starts just moments before the black moment. In case you aren't familiar with the term, the black moment is the part of the story when you think all is lost. This is a great structure to use for a short second-chance romance. 

Photo Credit: Martin Pettitt via Flickr CC license

A Christmas Wedding

by Mary Jo Young from the December 10, 2018 issue

Tagline: As a jewelry designer, Jules has made many wedding rings, [sic] but worries she'll never have one of her own...until she meets one special customer.

Observations: I really liked the drama of this story. It wasn't over the top. But that's nothing new. Woman's World doesn't like melodrama. For some reason, I wasn't expecting a mistaken identity, even though all the clues were there.

The only thing I question is that Jules is the designer, so she must have discussed the design of the ring with someone and I assume it wasn't the groom, which is a bit odd.

Photo credit: trendyideas via Flickr CC license

Tag A Heart

by Rosemary Hayes from the December 3, 2018 issue

Tagline: After years of searching online for her long-lost love, Lauren Bird has given up on ever seeing him again...until an unexpected name shows up on a tag at her local Christmas tree farm, sparking new hope.

Observations: Wow, that was an unusually long tagline.

I liked this story. Nothing bothered me as I read, but I did find myself wondering about this part:

Finally, the day arrived when Lauren could pick up their tree...

My family goes to a nursery where the trees are already cut, so I'm unfamiliar with tree farms. Is it commonplace to choose a tree and then have to go back to the farm to cut it down?

Photo credit: Justin Russell via Flickr cc license

Bright New Beginnings

by Debbie Noone from the November 19, 2018 issue

Tagline: When an old flame walks back into Erin's life, she refuses to fall for him again...until his surprising plea melts her heart.

Observations: I have a ton of stuff to do today, so I'm going to do another Stream-of-Consciousness analysis.

Erin March...I'm immediately reminded of the March sisters of Little Women, for some reason, which gives me an idea of writing stories for Woman's World with heroines named after the March sisters. Yeah, my brain is weird.

Gertie smiled, fluttering out from behind the front desk of her yarn shop like a spooked starling.

I really don't know how starlings move, but I can imagine. I always appreciate a good simile in a Woman's World story.

OMG. I love the idea of a yarn shop - even though I am a failed knitter from way back - but when Gertie also holds an Ugly Sweater contest? LOL.

Well, I really should have known it was a second-chance story because of the tagline, but for some reason I was still as surprised as Erin. LOL

Erin plastered on her brightest smile a she pretended not to recognize him.

Again, LOL. I really identified with Erin because I have been in the grocery store and seen someone I didn't really want to talk to for whatever reason and pretended not to see them.

So, it occurs to me that this story has what storytellers tout as a key element of fiction writing - conflict. Erin doesn't like Jake at all, so they are at odds right from the beginning. This can make it "easy" to write the story because "all" you need to do is show her starting to like/forgive him bit by bit.

I've read two thirds of the story now and see that Erin doesn't actually start to like him. More like she remembers how much she liked him before, which isn't quite the same thing. But it works in this story.

Oh, plot twist and more conflict! Enter Daisy, the girl Erin suspected Jake had a crush on, back in the day. I love it.

"I knew the two of you would hook-up if you moved back!"

FYI, my sons (early twenties) have schooled me on the current meaning of hook-up and that I should be super careful about using it. Apparently, this generation equates a hook-up with meaningless sex.

Ah. Daisy isn't the "bad guy" after all. That was resolved quickly, but then it had to because these stories are so short!

Okay, I've finished the story. She forgives him... Honestly, I'm not feeling it. He was scared of the depth of his feelings. I can see how that would happen, but his apology didn't move me. It felt rushed to me.

Photo credit: Casey Fiesler via Flickr CC license

Reservation For Two

by Stephanie Dees from the November 26, 2018 issue

Tagline: After becoming an empty nester, Roberta is overcome with loneliness...until she finds a new love in the most unexpected place!

Observations: It's always really difficult for me when a published Woman's World story doesn't work for me. The editors can just ignore stories, whereas I need to analyze them here on the blog whether I like them or not.

Obviously, I start reading with an open mind and as I read, if something good stands out, I mentally make a note. (Sometimes I even write on the page.) Conversely, if I see something that bothers me, I note that as well.

With this story about a third of the way in, the bothersome things (and even some things didn't make sense) were starting to add up. I'll list them here, along with the parts I liked. Unfortunately, there were more negatives than positives.

Nice bits

1. "...her real home had turned quiet and lonely, feeling more like a sieve through which her life was seeping..." I really liked this part. Very poignant and descriptive. You really felt something for Roberta and what she's going through.

2. I liked how Mickey said, "I figured maybe we'd give three square meals a day a try. You know, where I'm not the only one cooking them." LOL. Very cute.

3. I liked the idea of him getting the cruise tickets for the two of them. I might have made sure the reader knew he got separate cabins. LOL

Bothersome bits

1. Second paragraph - she was heading back to her office so she could help field the first wave of lumberjack breakfasts? How is she going to help from her office?

2. I wasn't crazy about the slight melodrama of her state of mind in this sentence:

Roberta was full of pride and joy, but also felt a loss so strong that she wondered if she'd ever be able to use the word "bright" to describe her own future again.

Then I realized this ties into the last line of the story. Yeah. This technique can work well to bring the story full circle, but I think this could have used some finessing. 

3. I think colons have their place, but two in one story seems odd and when I saw the second one, I was pulled out of the story. 

4. This paragraph is kind of a grammatical mess. It has two sentence fragments and the way it's written, Roberta is her own best friend. I also winced at his head being full of curls. "Full" isn't the word I would choose, but that's getting really picky. 

Mickey: her ruggedly handsome partner-in-crime at the Darling. With his head full of chestnut-brown curls shot through with gray, and a lazy warm smile. He always looked out for Roberta--the best friend she'd never known she needed.

5. When their fingers brush and she feels a "jolt of excitement," it seemed to come out of the blue. Again, maybe the word choice wasn't quite right. Or maybe I wasn't prepared as a reader for this level of emotion at the wayward touch.

6. Free? To do what? To spend weekends walking alone on the beach or wandering around on her own?

Walking and wandering are too similar. Better to choose some other example of her solitary life.

7. He tilted his head as her heart hammered out toward him. 

Another word choice thing. I'm fine with her heart hammering, but how does it hammer out toward him?

8. Twice in the story a character "sang" his/her dialogue. I was fine with once, but like the colons, twice was too much.

9. Roberta smiled widely as she jumped up to hug him. 

When did she sit down? I went back and the last mention we have of her physical location was "she headed back to her office."

10. Why did he choose a cruise that was over Christmas? Isn't she going to spend the holidays with her daughters?

So, yeah, this story didn't work for me and I feel really bad about it. I hate to take the joy out of the author's accomplishment by so heavily criticizing it, but this is only my opinion. I also really hate James Patterson's style of writing, and he's one of the most popular novelists alive today, so take what I've said here with a grain of salt.

Photo credit: Kabacchi via Flickr CC license

Bit of Sugar and Spice

by Diane Crawford from the November 12, 2018 issue

Tagline: After her divorce, Jane worried she faced a lifetime of lonely nights, until Steve's bright smile lit up her heart with new hope.

Observations: I am going to do a stream-of-consciousness analysis this week, which means, I read the story and type thoughts and observations as I go.

I find myself wondering why she wants pumpkins after Halloween and for what purpose, but I peeked to see who the author was, and it's Diane Crawford, an author who has sold quite a few stories to Woman's World. So, I assume my question will be answered eventually.

I adore this vivid description:

As she opened the door, taking a moment to watch the golden sunlight cresting over the cornfield just beyond her, a tall handsome man with gray-streaked hair emerged from the stalks like a vision.

What a beautiful image. As you know, Woman's World stories are only 800 words long, so sometimes you have to skimp on imagery, but Crawford gives us a wonderful image and a character's physical description in one succinct sentence.

And here she skillfully summarizes the heroine's backstory in one sentence:

Since she'd gotten divorced three years earlier, the mornings had become a respite from an endless stream of lonely nights.

She needs fifteen pumpkins? What on earth for? I'm even more intrigued.

Ah, she teaches at the community center, which is exactly the type of good-citizen profession one might expect from a character in a Woman's World romance.

"Budgeting Makes Cents" - clever name for the class!

Aha! Mystery solved. She's teaching her students to make pumpkin bread from real pumpkins.

Here's a bit I'd like to highlight...

On the way home, Jane's stomach fluttered nonstop. It had been years since a man had flirted with her...or since she'd been interested in a man at all. She resolved to return to the farm after class, to thank Steve and Eric with some fresh loaves of pumpkin bread...or, if she was being honest with herself, just to see Steve again.

This paragraph is pivotal in showing Jane's character arc. This is where she makes the realization that she's truly ready to move on past her divorce. Character arcs aren't mandatory in these romance stories, but I believe they add some emotional heft and make the stories feel more complete and satisfying.

In the last paragraph I noticed a little fire theme. The only word that didn't fit in was "bloom."

"I'd love to," Jane said, feeling a warmth bloom in her chest. Suddenly, he took her hand in his. And as his strong fingers closed around hers, Jane felt a new spark of hope blaze in her heart.

Photo Credit via Flickr CC License: Martin Brigden

Parking Spot Bandit

by Tamara Shaffer from the November 5, 2018 issue

Tagline: After her divorce, Sherry wasn't sure she'd ever find love again...until a parking spot poacher named Phillip stole his way into her heart!

Observations: As I read this story, I was a little surprised that Woman's World approved of Sherry's tantrum. That was pretty in-your-face behavior that, as an author, I may not have risked. However, the rest of the story shows her feeling remorseful and if you think about it, that's how we all grow as people, right? We make mistakes. We do our best to make up for them. It's a good life lesson and a romance story rolled into one! :)

Something else I wanted to point out...we've all had this happen. Someone snags the parking spot we had our eye on. This is actually a great way to come up with story ideas. Just look at what happened during your day. Really! If you can find the type of occurrence that happens to everyone and build a story around it, you can be certain the story will resonate with readers on that level (including the editors). They'll read it and think, "That happens to me all the time," and just like that, they've made a personal connection with your story.

Photo credit: Nicole Danielson via Flickr CC license.

A Sweet Fortune

by Amy Andrews from the October 29, 2018 issue

Tagline: When a fortune cookie foretold that Callie would meet the man of her dreams on Halloween, she spent years secretly hoping the prediction would come true. But just when she'd given up on ever finding love, she meets a handsome stranger...on All Hallow's Eve. Could he finally be the one?

Observations: Wow. LONGEST TAGLINE EVER. LOL It was like a full paragraph. They're really taking advantage of the double page spread. :)

I actually got a chill at the end of this story, something I wasn't expecting. It was a little eerie, but what to you expect from a Halloween story, right?

Again, for a Harlequin Woman's World story, I think this is indistinguishable from the norm we're used to seeing. Maybe the editorial staff and Harlequin had a meeting or are communicating more. Whatever they're doing, it's making the "5-minute romance" experience more consistent for the reader.

Regarding this story in particular, I liked the "coincidence" of the hero dressing as the thing that the heroine is afraid of. I also liked that he was Itsy Bitsy, instead of a scary spider. Again, talking about characterization, the fact that this man isn't afraid to channel his inner child or about being "manly," shows that he's real life romance material--at least the type of romance material Woman's World story readers are looking for. No tortured, alphas here. No sirree.

Photo credit: Andrew Malone via Flickr CC license

A Sweet Surprise

by Rosemary Hayes from the October 22, 2018 issue

Tagline: Haunted by a past relationship, Laura is afraid she'll never fall in love again...until Joel shows up on her doorstep Halloween night and makes a heartfelt confession.

Observations: Who can resist such a sweet story of a romance that was so long in the making? You can't help but admire the heroine for not wanting to come between her brother and his best friend. That's the type of characterization that works well in a Woman's World story. The editors like to be shown good, positive character traits. In my opinion, this is because we're not only telling romance stories, we're also showing people at their best, to counter all the negativity we see around us these days. Think of our stories as a weekly prescription of happy and keep that in mind as you're writing your own stories.

Photo credit: Scott McLeod via Flickr CC license

Hearts Lost and Found

by Jill Weatherholt from the October 15, 2018 issue

Tagline: Just when Charles fears he'll never be able to fall in love again, he meets Melanie in an unlikely place...and she changes everything.

Observations: Well, this was a Harlequin story and very well done. I may start regularly analyzing them. I didn't even realize it was an HQ story until I saw the book cover at the end. I like that it's not so "in your face."

Unfortunately, that means less stories for us freelancers, or perhaps more opportunity to sell to Harlequin, if they like the type of Woman's World stories we write...? Glass half full and so on.

So I really cannot find anything in this story that does not jibe with the regular Woman's World stories. It has the right tone, the right kind of plot, the touch of nostalgia/tradition that we have come to associate with the magazine. Even the ending was spot on.

I did laugh at this line:

"Thank you both for rescuing me," she said, her green eyes sparkling up at Charles. "I probably would have gotten lost in there and ended up looking like one of the scarecrows..."

LMAO.

Photo credit: Cynthia Collins via Flickr CC license.

A Dream Come True

by Mary Jo Young from the October 8, 2018 issue

Tagline: Katherine didn't have time for love, but when Don walked into her life, she realized she had seen his blue eyes before...in her dreams!

Observations: First a couple of general observations about the layout of the story. THERE'S A HOT GUY PIC! Holy moly, people. It's not a puppy or a kitten or a latte with a foam heart. Is this a trend? We shall see. Also, the print is bigger now, and I wonder if this is a nod to a readership who isn't getting any younger. I certainly had an easier time reading it. Also, it made the story look much longer.

Overall, very cute story and well written. That was a neat twist that they'd actually met when they were kids, even if Katie was the only one who actually realized it.

However, at the beginning of the story, I noticed something I was taught to avoid, something I call, "As you know, Bob." It's the backstory presented in conversation, but it's information that both characters already know. Clearly, Liz knows about Katherine's recurring dream because she says, "Did he actually say anything this time?" It's no big deal. Obviously the editors had no problem with it, but if it had been my story, I'd have done the recap of her dream as part of the narrative and not dialogue. Other than that, no complaints!

Photo credit: David Goerhing via Flickr CC license

Love During Visiting Hours

by Andrea Bolter from the October 1, 2018 issue

Harlequin Story

Tagline: Seven years after Carla and Luke parted ways, they bump into each other in the most unlikely of places...and the old flames feel a new spark!

Observations: I decided to go ahead and analyze this one, even though it's a Harlequin story. Ms. Bolder did such a great job, I couldn't tell until the end that it wasn't a freelancer's story.

All throughout reading this story, I kept thinking about that movie The Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, about two old codgers who have to share a hospital room. This was a set-up I haven't seen before in years and years of looking at Woman's World stories.

Just help me out here...when they say cheese sandwich, is that a grilled cheese sandwich? Because if so, yum. If they mean a cold cheese sandwich, yuck. LOL

Photo by: Kitchen Life of a Navy Wife (Flickr creative commons license)

Suds and Sparks

by Kathy L. Matisko from the September 24, 2018 issue

Tagline: When Julie met Cole, it was awash with possibility!

Kate's completely subjective rating: 8

Observations: This story seems simple, but there's a lot of craft going on inside it. I'm going to just laundry-list (LOL at the pun) what I noticed.

The description of Cole was extremely sparse. It was just five words.

Tall. Trim. Tousled dark hair.

It wasn't even a complete sentence, which is great because these stories are so short, you have to cut wherever you can.

You have a meet-cute, in which he saves her from a grocery cart collision.

Matisko revealed the characters' single status in a clever way with that quilt and the convo.

The ending referred back to Julie's romance-reading grandmother, which was a detail that makes the story nice and tight.

Photo credit: liz west via Flickr creative commons license.

Home at Last

by Diane Crawford from the September 17, 2018 issue

Tagline: When Jenna moved back to her hometown, she wasn't looking for romance--but then...

Observations: I often talk about having a character learn a small lesson or overcome an obstacle, even in these short 800 word stories. However, this is not a mandatory thing and this week's story is a good example of a heroine who has no character arc. She's perfect the way she is. You may have heard the terms "character driven" or "plot driven." This story was definitely plot driven.

If you omit a character arc, you can concentrate solely on the romance--in this case, a second-chance romance. Also note the nostalgic feel of the story. Small towns are inherently nostalgic, recalling that Norman Rockwellian atmosphere. For instance, when she mentioned concerts in the park, I immediately pictured a park with a big white gazebo, like in the movie Groundhog Day. You picture a lifestyle that is relaxed and more focused on the Good Things in Life.

This is what Woman's World readers want to read about because that's the focus of the entire magazine. Everything in the publication is geared toward helping women focus on the simple things, relaxing, being healthy, being happy. All things positive. So keep that in mind when writing your stories.

Photo credit: MCTV Dave via Flickr creative commons license

A Season of Change

by Tina Radcliffe from the September 3, 2018 issue

Tagline: Leslie was suffering from an empty nest, but Sam filled her heart with a new kind of joy.

Observations: This was an adorable story. I, myself, might be facing an empty nest soon. My own two kids are finally taking steps to move out together. I'm excited to have a room to myself and to get rid of some furniture we'd been holding onto in the hopes they'd take it with them, but I will miss seeing them everyday, not to mention the fact that I will once again be doing all the dishes. LOL

It's been a while since I talked about the three-act structure and how it applies even to very short stories like these. If you look back, most stories have a three act structure. This story, however, only has two. In the first act, we meet Leslie and see her in her "ordinary world," a term that comes from Christopher Vogler's A Writer's Journey, a book I highly recommend for fiction writers. We find out all the pertinent information about her--she's single, she has two grown daughters who just went away to college together, she has a crush on Sam the neighbor.

The second act begins the moment Sam appears. This is where we see the two characters connecting in a meaningful way. (Honestly, I wish I had a Sam who lived next door. I have quite a few home improvement projects I'd like to have done, but my dh is not very handy around the house.)

Another thing I notice--and perhaps it's because I am about to become an empty-nester--is that Leslie is very easy to identify with. When you're creating characters for Woman's World, you want to make them likeable. You want to give them traits or situations that the readers and the characters have in common. And on the pages of Woman's World, you also want to make those female characters strong. You'll never see any doormat women in Woman's World stories. No. They're women who set goals, who take action, who are willing to try new things.

Photo credit: Liz West via Flickr cc license

A Pair of Lovebirds

by Jill Weatherholt from the August 27, 2018 issue

Tagline: Myrna wasn't thinking about romance...until she met Jim!

Observations: Very cute story. I happen to adore hummingbirds. I have three feeding stations and have been battling ants this summer. They love the nectar as much as the birds to. I also lost a feeder to my gardener, who knocked it over while mowing the lawn, causing it to break. As a hummingbird aficionado, I also know that you should never buy the red dyed nectar. The dye damages the eggs. It's better (and much cheaper to make the nectar yourself. It's just one part sugar to four parts water.)

I admit I did not see Jim's third appearance as the one-man nursery crew coming. I was expecting her to go back to the store or something.

I think the ending was very well done.

She was thrilled that her new hummingbird sanctuary had not only attracted the birds but also a very special man.

Photo by C. Watts via Flicker CC license

The Lucky Penny

by Shelley Cooper from the August 6, 2018 issue

Tagline: Years ago, Lindsay tossed a penny in a fountain and wished for her Prince Charming...would it ever come true?

Observations: The most intriguing, different part of the story, for me, was when Lindsay realized her error. I found myself wondering what she was searching for in the fountain. That little mystery kept me reading. (Not that I would have stopped reading, because, you know, I have a blog I have to maintain. LOL)

When we find out the mystery, it's so touching...

"I'm not wading, officer." Then she told him about the coin her father had given her on her first day of school. A coin that he'd told her would always keep her safe. A coin she carried in his memory. A coin she'd mistakenly given to one of her nieces.

This story also made me chuckle out loud...

"My father taught me to always indulge the elderly and the infirm."

If you're a good student of Woman's World stories, you probably caught that little nod to independent women which was also the "black moment."

"Can I treat you to an ice cream?"

"No," she replied. A thrill shot through her at his obvious disappointment. "But I'd like it very much if you'd let me treat you."

Photo by Sam Howzit, via Flickr CC license

So Much In Common

by Jenny Welsh from the August 20, 2018 issue

Tagline: Sarah and Cody were perfect for each other, but it took the matchmaker downstairs to help them see it!

Observations: Another adorable story! I loved the rooftop setting. (Coincidentally, the story I'm publishing next has a scene on a rooftop!) The piled up coincidences were funny and not the least bit annoying.

You'll notice that the hero and heroine don't get much on-page time together, which is unusual and a little counter to the advice I usually give you, which is to actively show them connecting. This way the reader believes they have a real chance to fall in love. Often, we've seen the couple on a date or having spent some time together. We end up feeling confident they'll continue to see each other.

In this story, you only see them together for about one third of the story. In this case, the "happy for now" ending ends a little sooner than many Woman's World stories and we end up feeling confident they'll have a conversation. LOL But it still works.

Photo by Eddie Welker (Flickr CC license)

Teacher's Pet

Photo by Magic Madzik (Flickr cc license)

by Diane Crawford from the July 23, 2018 issue

Tagline: When Abby attended a former teacher's birthday party, she didn't realize it could lead to romance...

Observations: Adorable story. Also, a setting/premise I don't remember seeing before - a former teacher's birthday party. I saw the chocolate bar gift coming, but it didn't diminish the delight I felt when I saw my prediction come true.

Did you notice the story had a villain? LOL It's kind of a stretch to call Dean a villain, but in Steve's mind, Dean was definitely a minor threat to his courtship of Abby.