Special Delivery

by Crystal Moore from the August 14, 2023 issue

Tagline: Back in the beach town of her childhood, Marina reconnects with an old crush from a pizzeria...and love is on the menu.

Observations: This was a darling story, despite the somewhat purple beginning. 

...a cry of agony pierced the night.

I haven't talked about a 3-act structure in a while and this story definitely has that. 

Act 1, we're introduced to Marina and her situation. She's coming off a break-up, she's at a beach rental she came to as a child, she had a crush on a pizza guy one summer and she's very sunburned.

Act 2 we meet the pizza boy, all grown up. We get information about how old they are--something I really appreciate when I'm reading Woman's World stories. Because they welcome adult protagonists of all ages, it's difficult to fully picture the characters if the author doesn't tell us how old they are. The same story can read very differently if it's about twenty-somethings vs seventy-somethings. 

Act 3, surprise! He returns with aloe gel, like the hero he is. And he asks her out. I liked his little jibe about red being her color. I always love humor in the story.

Photo by Ruth Hartnup via Flickr Creative Commons License

Good Old Summer Love

by Marcella Robinson from the July 31, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Gloria misses her exit during a storm, she stops at a local diner...and gets the surprise of a lifetime when her first crush steps out to greet her.

Observations: I thought this was a charming story. Robinson does a great job connecting the reader to the heroine, Gloria, by showing Gloria doing something we've all done--missing a freeway exit. We immediately identify with her. Then look at this next paragraph.

Lately, if she wasn't skipping by an exit, she was making a wrong turn. Yet she was filled with a sense of pride for venturing out on her own after her divorce.

Here, Robinson shows us that Gloria isn't a basket case. She's gotten past her divorce and is ready for the next phase in her life, which is perfect timing, right? Because Gloria is in the right frame of mind, we readers will be more willing to believe that a real relationship will grow between her and Ethan. Granted, this is a subtle detail, but if you lay the groundwork for the happily-ever-after properly, when the story is done, the reader will feel more confident that the couple will end up in love and they'll feel those feel good endorphins kick in, which is what we want!

Photo by waferboard via the Flickr Creative Commons License

The Art of New Love

by Wendel J. Potter from the July 24, 2023 issue

Tagline: All set up for her annual art festival, Delaney is excited for what's in store...but she never expects a handsome newcomer to steal her heart.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: I love art festivals so I'm drawn into the story. 

Delaney has clearly attended college in the past, but we're not told how long ago. I have little idea of how old our heroine is. The only clue is that she's finding this dark haired man attractive and thinks he's a possible love interest, so she could be mid-twenties to mid-thirties?

Oh, the money from the art sales goes to needy kids? That's admirable, but the sign she hangs should state that. Money going to worthy causes is a powerful promotional tool. Talk about that rather than the fact that it's a silent auction.

He's only submitting one drawing, so he doesn't need an entire table.

If she planned to hang it on a wall then she why did she say she'd prepare a table for him?  

I'm confused as to why the drawing had to be covered until noon. What reason would Eric have? Her surprise and delight would be just as vivid no matter when he showed her. And why would she allow him to keep it covered in the first place? The passers-by would be unable to bid on it which defeats the purpose of the show.

Oh, I love the black moment, where Eric thinks she has a problem with his drawing and then she quips his own comment from the beginning of the story of her flyer leaning to the left. Genius! That's a black moment and bookending put together. Great job.

Despite all my notes on this story, I still enjoyed it, probably because the ending was spot on. 

Photo by Communications Office via Flickr Creative Commons License

Trail to Happiness

by Marti Attoun from the July 10, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Ramona stops to smell the roses, she meets a handsome newcomer who opens the door to friendship...and a blooming future.

Observations: I wanted to highlight a few things in Attoun's story. I really liked how she described the hero:

Up close, Ramona could see handsome laugh lines radiating from his green eyes and gray streaking his wavy hair. 

This not only gives us a clear picture of Andy, just look at those active verbs--radiating and streaking. Lovely.

She also used the bookending technique, which is mentioning something at both the beginning and end of the story to bring the tale full circle and give the feeling of closure. You'll see in these first and last sentences of the story, she tied the story together using "moseying."

Ramona set off at her usual moseying pace on the trail circling Brookfield Lake: slow enough to admire the roses cascading over the fence at her favorite lake front cottage.

"No need to hurry. I think we can make it, even if we mosey."

I also loved how she conveyed Ramona's physical reaction. Notice how there was no electricity nor did her heart perform any tricks. 

Andy laughed heartily, bringing with it [sic] a dizzying delight that made Ramona feel like her insides were cart-wheeling.

I'm not saying don't use electricity or make your characters' hearts soar or what have you, because Woman's World loves that. However, in my opinion, a little extra effort in the originality department can make a big difference. Small choices, made consistently in a story, can move a story from the ordinary category to the extraordinary category.

In fact, I challenge you right now to brainstorm some ways to convey a positive physical reaction that does not include the heart or any electrical impulses. I know you can do it!

Photo by Larry Jacobsen via Flickr Creative Commons License

Star-Spangled Love Story

 by Veda Boyd Jones from the July 3, 2023 issue

Tagline: Mike is entranced but intimidated by his beautiful new neighbor, Emily, until a chance opportunity finally brings them face-to-face for the first time.

Observations: Cute story. I liked how the guys had Mike's back and made themselves scarce when Emily offered them all lemonade.

Photo by WTF Colorado via Flickr Creative Commons License

Father's Day Match-Up

by Kay Layton Sisk from the June 19, 2023 issue

Tagline: Jess' daughter is worried her dad will be lonely after she gets married...until a beautiful stranger appears and changes everything.

Observations: I liked this story. In it I could see many familiar Woman's World story elements. There is the matchmaking daughter. There's also the classic misunderstanding when Jess sees Claire with "another man," who turns out to be her brother. 

Sisk revealed that it was her brother cleverly by having Claire mention it out of the blue instead of having Jess having to approach the subject in a roundabout way.

However, on my second read, I wondered at this:

"C'mon, Dad. It's Father's Day, and I would love your gift to be a date with a woman you like."

How exactly would she go about doing this? If Jess had said yes to either of the ladies Laura suggested, would she then go to the lady in question and say, "Hey, you're my Father's Day gift to my dad?" 

Even though that pulled me out of the story slightly, I still enjoyed it. 

Photo by waferboard via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Most Fun in the Sun

by P.S. Murray from the June 26, 2023 issue

Tagline: A little R&R on the beach is just what the doctor ordered for busy Sally...but she gets far more than she bargained for when handsome Hank arrives.

Observations: This was a darling story. I loved the four-year-old. I loved the premise, perhaps because I lost my little one at a corn maze once and it was terrifying, so I could relate to Hank's situation.

I did wonder, however, at the the fact that they're both on vacation and there's little chance their relationship can continue. I would like to have seen that resolved...perhaps during the dinner conversation they could have discovered they live in the same city... ? Your mileage may differ.

Photo by Ronnie via Flickr Creative Commons License

Summer Loving

by Marla Zarrow from the June 12, 2023 issue

Tagline: Ellen knows never to get involved with the summer folks who come to stay in her town...until Timothy comes along.

Observations: I made an assumption reading this story that turned out to be wrong, but it provided a Teaching Moment about names for the blog, so I'll take it! 

Since Ellen had tears in her eyes when she gazed at "Jake Ellery's seaside cabin" at the beginning of the story, I thought Jake Ellery was an ex for whom she still had feelings. 

When you give a character (Jake Ellery) a first and last name, you mark them as a person of importance in the story.

For instance...

The waitress took their order.

The reader will not think this waitress is important. They are the story equivalent of a movie extra--you know, like in the credits when someone is billed as Girl with Dog.

Now, I'm going to give the waitress a full name.

The waitress, Theresa Rodgers, took their order.

The reader will naturally expect this person to have a greater role in the story because the writer gave her a full name. 

You can give a character just a first name and not be assigning too much importance to him/her, if only because it can get awkward to keep using the phrase "the waitress" over and over. But give a character a full name and that character will be expected to have a greater role than movie extra.

This also applies to the amount of physical description you give to a character. The more description there is, the more important the person.

Photo by Ruth Hartnup via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Love at First Catch

by Melanie Dusseau from the June 5, 2023 issue

Tagline: Heading to her family cabin for a long weekend, Liz sets out to fish on the lake...and reels in more than she bargained for when Bob comes along.

Observations: This story was a big bold splash of summer.  It was as if Dusseau brainstormed summer and put everything she wrote down into this story. There's the fishing and the cabin on the lake. She also repeated a sun motif throughout.

Suddenly, the fish surfaced, thrashing in a spill of sunlight by the dock.

She squinted into the sun at the sigh of an approaching boat.

The man stepped sure-footedly onto the dock, the sun lighting a glimmer in his blue eyes.

They stood on the edge of the dock grinning--like the children they once were--there in the rainbow made by sun and oil glinting off the water's reflection.

If you didn't finish this story yearning for all the joys of the summer season, you need to read the story again!

Photo by Michael Seeley via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Love to the Rescue

by Marti Attoun from the May 22, 2023 issue

Tagline: After a disastrous morning, Eleanor is about to have a muffin catastrophe at the grocery store, when a gallant stranger steps in to save the day.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: This is where I record my thoughts as I have them as I'm reading the story. If you follow this blog, you'll have noted the long gap between analyses. I'm happy to say this is because it seems as if I've burst through my two-year-long writer's block and am 25K words into a new novel. So, sorry, not sorry!

Could her morning get any crazier? Perhaps she could get hit by a meteor? -- Funny.

Oh my gosh, I have had this happen to me too, but it wasn't blueberries. It was a head of garlic that rolled under a car. I'm short with arms to match and I couldn't reach it. Luckily, I had something in my car that allowed me to bat at the garlic to get it within reach. This is what you have to do when you don't have a handsome stranger offering to help.

I love whirligigs.

LOL. She used a purple chip bag clip in her hair. That's hilarious, but I'd tell her not to worry. Men don't usually notice stuff like this.

She looked like a demented peacock! -- Also funny. This reminds me...in my Deep Dive Class, I talk about including humor in your stories along with the different types of humor that I've observed in the magazine. This is self-deprecating humor and Attoun used it masterfully here.

If she snatched the bag clip and her graying tumbleweeds... -- LOL

...one lost breath mint -- I love this tiny detail. It adds realism. We've all discovered stuff in our purses we forgot about.

Hm. I'm not sure I agree with Eleanor's assessment that his good deed deserved a cash payment. He just picked up her fruit.

"Too much to mention," he blurted. -- I don't understand this bit of dialogue. I've reread it several times and it's not clicking.

He has wavy dark hair but hers is graying. You go, cougar girl!

Again, this part of the story confused me. All of a sudden he's mentioning a flea market where he thinks he's seen her. 

Here we have a flashback to convey some backstory. Nice.

Bart's lightheartedness was contagious... -- LOL. I read this as lightheadedness.

Hm, she's baking blueberry...cupcakes? Is this a regional thing? To me, blueberries in cupcake form are muffins. 

Ah, cute ending.

Photo by Yukiko Matsuoka via Flickr Creative Commons License

Like Mother, Like Daughter

by Mary Ann Joyce and Rakel Joyce from the May 15, 2023 issue

Tagline: Jane is scared that setting up her mom with her husband's uncle was a bad idea...until she sees the sparks start to fly in the best way

Stream of Consciousness Observations: This is where I record my thoughts as I have them as I'm reading the story. In all honesty, this is usually because I'm criminally behind in my analyses.

Oh, my son's name is Brian. Great name. LOL

Ah, I have a brother in law who is uber-competitive. I wonder what board game they're playing. I love board games!

Oh, backgammon. I love backgammon! 

They're serving lemonade. This is the beverage of choice in Woman's World stories. Well, that and hot cocoa. LOL Not throwing shade here. Just an observation about how even the smallest details can set the tone of a story. 

What child doesn't want their single parent to find someone to share their life with? I am connecting with the couple here.

There's quite a bit of backstory here, which is fine. It's filling in the characters of Jane and Rose so they're more rounded. It's a bit difficult to achieve proper characterization in 800 words, but it can--and should, if possible--be done.

Oh, we're also getting a little bit about Brian and what made him husband material in Rose's eyes. This bit also gives you the motivation behind Jane's matchmaking attempt.

They have news to share? Ha! I bet we all know what the news is, which is fine. Sometimes a plot twist comes as a complete surprise, which can be so much fun. But sometimes the reader predicts, which is fine, because they usually will read on to find out if they were right or not.

A note about names that you may not have thought about...it can be a good idea, when choosing names, to vary the number of syllables and the beginning letter because otherwise you may be risking the reader getting confused. For instance, I wouldn't name two male characters Jim and John or two female characters named Lisa and Linda. I'd avoid names that rhyme or sound alike as well, like Carrie and Mary.

Aha! I was right. There's a baby on the way!

Photo credit: Mark Bonica via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Recipe for a Reunion

by Debra McNally from the May 8, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Boe's high school crush turns up at his food truck, old sparks start to fly...

Observations: I love food trucks. I love that someone put a food truck in a Woman's World story. I think the Banana Bread Butty sounds delicious, if super fattening.

Also, the Old Flame trope is always a fun one to build a story around. You can insert a little nostalgia into the story by pulling in something from your own past that you remember fondly. In this case, it was a high school cooking class. (Do they even still have these for kids these days? If not, that's sad.) 

What things from your past could you build a story around?

Photo by Whitney via Flickr Creative Commons License

Falling Into New Love

by Millicent Porter Henry from the May 1, 2023 issue

Tagline: After taking a spill on her bike, Maggie is left injured and in need of aid...and her handsome rescuer offers her more than just a helping hand.

Observations: I may be wrong but this feels like the first man-to-the-rescue story that I've seen in a bit. Man-to-the-rescue is a time-honored trope for Woman's World, but don't get your feminist panties in a twist because it's completely possible to flip the gender and write a woman-to-the-rescue story.

What's fun about this story is that it had a twist. The man doing the rescuing had an ulterior motive--he wanted to ask Maggie out. So, in a way, it was good luck that she took that spill.

Photo by Simon Lee via Flickr Creative Commons License

A "Bunny" Kind of Love

by Denice Stradling from the April 10, 2023 issue

Tagline: When a real-life Easter Bunny shows up in her yard, Emma never expects to fall for its handsome owner...or get a second shot at love.

Observations: This was adorable. The little girl was cute as can be. I loved that the matchmaker came out and confessed! I don't remember seeing that in a matchmaker story before. I mean, who doesn't love a crafty, endearing grandpa?

I also really liked this paragraph:

Just then Nick and Shelley came back, her arms full of chocolate eggs. I was still dazed by Pete's confession. And although it took more in common than a divorce, Nick had touched something in me. I had shunned even thinking about dating for the past year. But wasn't Easter a good a time as any for new beginnings?

This showed a turning point for Emma, which shows her character arc--the point where she changes from one type of person (unwilling to date because of divorce) to a new type of person (willing to take a chance on love.) And as I was just telling one of my editing clients, character development is a Good Thing, even in stories as short as these.

Photo by essie via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Airport Attraction

by Audrey Wick from the April 3, 2023 issue

Tagline: Laurel is sure her love story with Ryan is over as she steps into the airport...until a surprise visitor changes everything.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: In case you're not familiar, in Stream of Consciousness Observations, I just put down my thoughts and reactions live as I read the story.

Oooh, she's being brave about something. I wonder what it is. Is she travelling alone for the first time? First time on a plane?

She's leaving a boyfriend. Poor thing.

Ah, a workmate relationship. That's always a dicey decision. If it goes south, like it looks like it did, you still have to see each other at work everyday.

Ryan broke up with her because she wanted to make more money and see places? She's better off without him!

Yet there was one bright spot... -- What is the bright spot?

I just realized this is that classic trope from rom coms where the hero stops the heroine from leaving on the plane with a heartfelt speech or grand gesture!

Okay, pretty good speech, Ryan. I will now allow Laurel to stay with you. LOL

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Winning His Irish Heart

by Lisa Weaver from the March 20, 2023 issue

Tagline: Becca has lost several local contests to her town rival, Brody, until the luck of the Irish gifts her an unexpected win: a chance at love.

Observations: You wouldn't necessarily expect an 800-word story to have character development, but it's not that difficult to do, believe it or not. 

This is one of the things I cover in my class, How to Write and Sell Romance to Woman's World Magazine. All you need to do is give the heroine a goal and show them working towards and achieving that goal. Or show the character as having a "negative" characteristic and show them behaving in a different way. 

In this story, Becca is in denial about her attraction to Brody. She's also shy. Then, thanks to her employee's encouragement, she admits to liking him and conquers her shyness enough to flirt with him.

All the 5-minute romances will all be about finding love, but adding character development can give a story more depth. 

Photo by Melissa Hellier via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love at First Latte

by Claudia Irene Scott from the March 13, 2023 issue

Tagline: On a visit to her favorite cafe in town, Celeste never expects to find love...until a freak storm brings it right through the front door.

Observations: This story reminded me of that part in the Lady and the Tramp movie where they go to that Italian restaurant. I know. This was a coffee shop, not an Italian restaurant. They didn't kiss over spaghetti either. But it still evoked that warm romantic feeling inside me. 

There was no question of Max and Celeste connecting. It was very evident. Celeste noticed and heartily appreciated his great bod. They learned a lot about each other during their conversation too. Showing or telling how the characters are connecting is of vital importance. The editors have said lack of connection is one the top three reasons they reject a story. 

I did catch a typo...

As he took off his soaked sweatshirt, beneath which Celeste observed his taught torso.

And I wondered why he put cologne on to go jogging.

Other than that, I thought it was a charming story.

Photo by Jeremy Keith via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Wedding to Remember

by Cathy Cormany from the March 6, 2023 issue

Tagline: When her dreamy co-worker, Brent, invites her to a wedding to play the role of his girlfriend, Lindsay accepts--and has a night she'll never forget.

Observations: I can't recall ever seeing the fake relationship trope in a Woman's World story, but here it is. This is a trope that I always enjoy in novels because it's fun to see the characters struggling to keep up the facade. 

In this story, there was a tiny bit of that, but it's manufactured by Lindsay who decides it's time to take action. She tells a white lie when she says she mentioned to his mom that they had gotten to know each other in a dance class which meant they should be dancing.

There was definitely some romance going on. That scene where they move through the crowd through the French doors was reminiscent, to me, of when Maria and the captain are dancing on the terrace in the Sound of Music. It also reminded me of the moments in Regency romances when the heroine and hero kiss in the garden while the grand ball goes on inside the London mansion.  And there's nothing more romantic than the man settling his warm jacket over the woman's shoulders. 

The only niggling thing that bugged me was "his warm hand pulsing in hers." That was a strange choice of verb. 

Photo by Jonathan Day via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Perfect First Date

by Melanie Dusseau from the February 27, 2023 issue

Tagline: While trying his hand at skating for the first time in a year, rusty Ryan collides with the lovely Valerie...and it's love at first fall.

Observations: This story had me thinking two things: relatability and connection, two things Woman's World editors and readers want.

With these stories, you want the readers to relate to the characters. They should be the types of people you want as your friends and showing Ryan and Valerie dealing with their teenaged kids did a really good job of this. A lot of Woman's World readers are older, so they have their own experiences with teens and how irritated they get at everything their parents do.

As far as connection is concerned, you must make sure you show the hero and heroine associating with each other in a positive way. Dusseau showed this in quite a few ways. In this story, Valerie blushes and Ryan's heart hammers at the sight of it. They are clearly having a good time awkwardly skating with each other. They also joke around with each other. These are the ways the author demonstrated Valerie and Ryan might make a good couple.

Also, there's a teensy, tiny subplot. It's so teensy you may not have noticed it, but at the beginning Ryan and his daughter have a little conflict. She's embarrassed that he's skating because none of the other parents are. But at the end, we see she noticed that her dad and made friends with someone and she gave him her approval, signalling she'd forgiven him for the mortal sin of skating. I loved that because in an 800 word story, there's not a lot of room to include a subplot, but that's what this is and it was done deftly.

Photo by Billie Grace Ward via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Love at First Bite

by Marcella Robinson fromt he February 20, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Sue starts a job in her hometown bakery, she never expects her old flame to be there--or to find a second chance at love.

Observations: I wonder what percentage of stories have a bakery as a setting or a baker as a main character. I'll bet it's quite a few. Still, Woman's World doesn't seem to tire of this trope. There are also a ton of old flame stories too. So don't shy away from sticking with the tried and true with your own stories.

Speaking of old flame stories, there's formula for these. If you're interested in finding out what it is, check out my Deep Dive class. The old flame story is one of eight Woman's World plot tropes that I cover in that class. Click here for more info.

I only had one quibble with this story...Sue was there to meet Bethany, her new boss, on her first day on the job but Bethany isn't there and it's never explained why. 

Photo by Phil Whitehouse via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Kickoff to Romance

by Mary Ann Joyce from the February 13, 2023 issue

Tagline: When Isabelle runs into an old high school friend at an annual Super Bowl party, she finds a fellow football lover and scores a new chance at love.

Observations: It's no wonder that the editors snapped up this story. It's absolutely perfect. And of course, it's by Mary Ann Joyce. She has one of the best track records when it comes to these 5-minute romances.

What follows is a list of all the good things in this story.

Joyce starts off by describing in great detail Isabelle's guacamole football field, which is the perfect set up for her stumble later. Stumbling so the hero can catch the heroine is a well-used trope, but this is not your run of the mill clumsy trip. Joyce had laid the emotional groundwork for the fall already so the reader feels a moment of panic that the gorgeous appetizer platter will splatter.

I love the use of the word serpentine.

There are oodles of description of the hero too. He's got a "sturdy pair of hands." Those "helping hands are connected to muscled arms, attached to a well built body..." He's tall, handsome, rugged and gorgeous. "His grin is toothy and broad, like a shark--a very attractive shark who's circling now." "His dark eyes, with their heavy lids and long lashes, are still the part of him that gets me every time."

There's plenty of witty banter to show that, if they got together, they'd have a lot of fun. They both love football, even though they're rooting for different teams, and that connection is told, not shown, but it is there in the story. 

I loved the moment when Joe confesses that he always looked for her in the stands and Isabelle wryly thinks, Well, this is news. 

Photo by Justin Russell via Flickr Creative Commons License

"Jack" of All Trades

by Chris Maday Schmidt from the February 6, 2023 issue

Tagline: While fixing up her father's house after he passed, Jenna meets Jack in the caulk aisle...and gest a loving sign from above. 

Observations: On the negative side, I wondered at the hankie. The hero has dark hair, so he's young-ish and I'm finding it a little hard to swallow that he carries an actual handkerchief. 

I also wondered if this handyman just trolls the aisles of the hardware store for clients, which I guess is good business but a little strange.

On the other hand, this story had an otherworldly element to it that I don't often see--that mysterious older gentleman. I assume it's her dad appearing as an angel, which I really liked. Don't we all hope our loved ones who have gone to the great beyond are watching over us?

I also absolutely loved that she was a children's book author. That's an occupation I've not seen in any Woman's World stories. This is where research can come in handy--and by research I mean subscribing to the magazine so you can read every story. If you're familiar with what's been done, it's easier to insert something they haven't seen before. 

Photo by Nan Fry via Flickr Creative Commons License

When Love Comes Calling

by Cher L. Tom from the January 23, 2023 issue

Tagline: During a chilly weekend at her cabin, Marcie Lou receives an unexpected visit from an old friend, reigniting a love she thought long extinguished.

Theme: It's never too late.

Observations: Cher L. Tom is a former editing client and I'm so proud of her track record with Woman's World. She's flying solo spectacularly! Cher, if you're reading this, tell me in the comments how many stories you've sold.

I thought she did a great job at showing Marcie's character arc. Marcie begins the story at odds with her feelings about Ben and their last interaction. At the end of the story, she has realized she does want to pursue a relationship with Ben and welcomes him back into her life.

As I mention in my class, How to Write and Sell Romance to Woman's World Magazine, sometimes black moments don't occur in the 5-minute romances, but this story had one. it's when Marcie is making that decision...

Marcie took a steadying breath. Ben Morris, back in her life. Was she ready?

Of course, she is. 

I thought the ending was perfect too...

"...I'll trade you a slice if you set up our wood-burning stove?"

Ben's radiant smile spoke volumes. "I'm your guy."

"Yes," Marcie said, leading him inside, hand in hand. "You are."

Photo by Conall via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Love that Glows Bright

by Marti Attoun from the January 16, 2023 issue

Tagline: Nora is desperate to find a firewood delivery service for her new hearth, when a secret admirer answers the call and lights a spark in her heart.

Observations: This is a matchmaker story that I didn't see coming. I mean, I didn't realize it was a matchmaker story until the end, which is so cool! Usually I can see those coming from a mile away but this one took me completely by surprise. 

I knew Dave was the firewood guy right of the bat, and maybe that was Attoun's intention--distract us with that bit of info so we feel proud of ourselves for figuring that out, and then pow! Hit us with the info that Shirley was behind it all! 

In fact, go back and look at the first line in the story:

"Check the bulletin board, Nora," Shirley said while setting a steaming cup of coffee in front of me at the Crestwood Cafe.

Shirley is the person who set the ball in motion!

I think this just might be a great hack for surprising readers. When you have two surprises in a story, make one really obvious so that the second one sneaks in unnoticed.

Photo by Ivan Radic via Flickr Creative Commons License

When Love Comes Calling

by Millicent Porter Henry from the January 2, 2023 issue

Tagline: When her parents' pup goes into labor on New Year's Eve, Lindsey calls the vet for help...and a chance at a new romance knocks on her door.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: This is where I just jot down my thoughts as I read the story.

Okay, here's the setting in the form of the heroine's thoughts. Nice.

Her second graders would laugh when they learned how she spent her vacation.

Also, this is a clever way to communicate the heroine's profession.

Aww, the dog is about to give birth to puppies. How exciting! Also, I'm firmly ensconced in that house with the crackling fire. I probably wouldn't be as freaked out as Lindsey because animals routinely give birth without help, but I can understand if someone else got nervous.

Should she call? Doc was probably as old as Pops. 

This is a common "trick" authors use when executing a plot twist. When you have the character jump to a conclusion, the reader usually also jumps to the same conclusion. 

So she cooked up a storm on New Year's Eve even though she's alone. Personally, I might do the same kind of thing. I like to cook, even if it's just for me.

He's wearing aftershave? In the evening, on an emergency vet house call? LOL Lindsey, girl, he's gunning for you.

I'm really enjoying Lindsey's asides. ("What smells so good?" "You do." and Lucky dog.

Hm...strange that they don't talk through the entire meal. 

So he compliments her on her food and asks her out. This is a typical Woman's World HEA, however, I don't feel confident this match will last. I would have much preferred that they connect during dinner. They should be talking and laughing and discovering things about each other that make them both want to spend more time together. However, that said, the editors didn't mind the dinner silence, so there you go. :)

One Purr-fect Christmas

byDiana Hickerson from the December 26, 2022 issue

Tagline: Adopting two kittens is Gracie's one Christmas wish, until a handsome stranger steps in and snags one...and steals her heart in the process.

Observations: It can seem like an impossible task--to give the editors the same thing, but different--but it's not. Ms. Hickerson did it by taking a tried-and-true trope I've seen time and again (adopting a pet) and bringing it into the technological age. All it took for this tale was to add a live feed that showed the cats and kittens up for adoption. Voila, you've got an old trope with a fresh spin.

So if you're looking for story inspiration, just take a few moments to think about the leaps and bounds technology has taken in the past decade or so. We can now binge entire seasons of TV shows. Top tier movies sometimes never even go to the theaters. People who never took taxis before are using Uber or Lyft. Online dating is, perhaps, the premier way of meeting singles. We carry around excellent cameras for still photography and video and they fit in our pockets. And we can view the pictures and videos instantaneously. No film or film developing necessary! It's common to be able to literally see who is at your front door. You can have music play in your house just by saying "Alexa, play some jazz." The list goes on and on. 

Because Woman's World embraces characters of a certain age, take an older person and combine him or her with something "newfangled" and you've got instant conflict, a problem to solve, a character arc to complete.

Photo by abcrumley via Flickr Creative Commons License

Christmas Wishes

by Lisa Weaver from the December 19, 2022 issue

Tagline: Emma has just one thing on her wish list this Christmas: a chance to be more than friends with handsome Hunter. But does he feel the same?

Observations: I mean, it doesn't get more Christmas-y than this story. Aside from the obvious Christmas story tropes like Santa and an ugly sweater competition, there were references...

...a hearty 'Ho, ho, ho!' that has my heart bounding in a magnificent '10 lords a-leaping' impression.

"Ho-ho-horrible!"

...my smile glowing brighter than a certain famous reindeer's nose...

The only thing I wondered about is that he assumed her wish was the same as his, which was a little presumptuous, but this didn't mess up my enjoyment of the story.

The Sweetest Love Story

 by Audrey Wick from the December 5, 2022 issue

Tagline: Mia is falling for the mystery man leaving her notes at her neighborhood's little free library...then a mug of cocoa finally brings them together.

Observations: I adore little free libraries! It's on my bucket list to have my woodworking sons make me one. I also adored the idea of exchange notes via the books. The first story I ever sold to Woman's World had a similar idea, except the notes were placed on tables at a deli.

This story was fabulous. I wasn't surprised to see that Ms. Wick is a novelist. There was a noticeable and restrained polish to her prose that I appreciated. I hope to see more of her stories in Woman's World!

Home for the Holidays

by Melinda K. Cherry from the November 28, 2022 issue

Tagline: All alone in the big city for Thanksgiving, Tess fears her day will be a lonely one...until Gordy shows up and gives her a taste of home.

Observations: I felt these two had a good chance of having a happy future with each other. She's a painter and he's an animator, so they're both in the arts. And they both like to volunteer for the community. 

I also really liked all of the backstory about Tess. Her exasperation with her grandmother felt real and made me sympathize. Lastly, I appreciated bringing the story full circle by mentioning the ring-hungry grandma again at the end.

Reality-wise, maybe it's different in other parts of the country, but it's a bit of a stretch for me to believe an out of work animator can get by on a dishwasher's pay.

Photo by Krista via Flickr Creative Commons License

Turkey Day Setup

by Dorothy Wills-Raftery from the November 21, 2022 issue

Tagline: Single mom Laci isn't interested in her sister's attempts to set her up with friends...that is until she sits next to Brent at Thanksgiving dinner.

Observations: Ms. Wills-Raftery has written such a warm Thanksgivingish (new word, made it up) story. I'm reading it after Thanksgiving but the story is still giving me warm fuzzy feelings from the recent memories. She and I worked on several of her stories in the past and I'm excited to see her stories being published. I can see so many Woman's World elements included that it's easy to see why the editors chose it.

I learned that pie crust can contain eggs. My pie crust recipe doesn't include eggs, so I was skeptical at first, but the good old internet told me that there's more than one way to crust a pie.

I liked the sisters' relationship. My sister and I often cook together for family events. I never tried to set my sister up, though. LOL

I also really enjoyed the epilogue last paragraph. 

However, I spied with my editor's eye, a dangling participle. A dangling participle is a participle or participial phrase, often found at the beginning of a sentence, that  is unintentionally modifying the wrong noun in the sentence. For example: Plunging hundreds of feet into the gorge, we saw Yosemite Falls.

Can you find the dangling participle in this story? I'll post it in the comments.

Photo by Tony Alter via Flickr Creative Commons License

Grateful Hearts

by Denice Stradling from the November 14, 2022 issue

Tagline: Having separated from her husband before Thanksgiving, Justine heads to her friend's house to celebrate...and gets a big surprise.

Observations: A reminder...this blog is my own opinion and is meant to be educational. My goal is to shine a light on things I find in the stories in order to help you read more critically and hopefully improve your own stories. Sometimes the things I find are shining examples, but sometimes I make suggestions about what I think might have made the story better. I am truly sorry if anyone's feelings get hurt, but to be honest, professional authors accept criticism and realize that not everyone will love everything they write. 

In the end, I liked this story, but it took me a while because of a couple of stumbling blocks, probably because my parents got divorced with I was 13 which was devastating. My entire world turned upside down. My family broke apart and my mother moved us all away from my friends. So my reading experience is heavily influenced by my personal history.

When Justine walked in and saw an old flame, I mentally reared back. She's only been separated for a few months. What is she doing? I thought. One thing I teach in my class (see the right menu for info) is to make your characters likable. In that moment, I did not like Justine. Was she going to respond flirtatiously to this old flame in front of her daughter? I hoped not.

Eventually, it became clear that Ed was Teddy and I was reeled back in...but not completely. If this story had come to me for an edit, I would have suggested the reveal occur the moment Justine walked in the door. That way, we readers would have felt hope at that moment, not confusion about Justine's rebounding so quickly. Their entire conversation would have been that much richer because we read it knowing Teddy/Ed was offering an olive branch.

I would have asked the author why Amanda, the daughter, didn't freak out with excitement at the sight of her daddy. If I had been the little girl, my hopes for a reunion would have shot sky high, and if Teddy/Ed was a responsible father, he wouldn't have blindsided Justine in front of her. What if Justine had rejected him? Amanda would have been dealt another harsh emotional blow. 

I would also have asked why the hostess cut their conversation short, because she would have been in on the surprise and I'm sure she was hoping there would be a reconciliation. Give the couple some privacy by perhaps asking Mandy to help them with the wishbone in the kitchen, killing two birds with one stone.

Despite all this criticism, I did enjoy the story. I like the idea of an estranged couple getting back together. I'm extremely happy their relationship looked better at the end of the story, for the sake of the little daughter. 

P.S. The words "mommy" and "daddy" should only be capitalized when used in place of or as a name. When you add a pronoun, like "my," you do not capitalize.

For instance: 

Mommy took me to school. 

I love Daddy.

My mommy took me to school. 

I love my daddy.

Photo by Marco Verch via Flickr Creative Commons License

Better the Second Time

by Marcie McEachern from the November 7, 2022 issue

Tagline: Back in her hometown, Amy enters the fall festival pie contest...but will her maple confection be enough to rekindle an old flame?

Observations: This was a lovely story. I think Ms. McEachern is really hitting her stride with her Woman's World stories. The tale is rich with sensory details and I liked the idea of their having met in a high school culinary class. 

I did question why they were given slices of their own pie at the awards ceremony, but then again, I've never attended a pie contest. Maybe that's the normal routine. :)

I do wish there was an actual recipe, though. A Maple Cream pie sounds delish!

Love at the Last Door

by Jamie A. Richardson from the October 31, 2022 issue

Tagline: Trick-or-treating with her granddaughter, Cathy gets a shock when her old crush opens the door and gives her the sweetest treat of all.

Apology: I'm sorry I've been MIA, but my subscription lapsed without my knowledge! LOL I only just got this Halloween issue. Rest assured, I'm back at my keyboard with my red pen ready.

Observations: This was a darling story that shone a light on the generation gap in regards to communication. I truly enjoyed seeing the granddaughter learn how to trick-or-treat. Adorable! However, I'm old enough to have a granddaughter that age, but writing an actual letter to someone to tell someone I was going out of town is not something I would ever do. Maybe Cathy only said that because she was flustered by John's presence.

Regardless, let's all make an effort to not apply outdated stereotypes to our older characters. For that matter, give some thought to creating any character that is not in your age group. One of my pet peeves is younger characters making cultural references that aren't age appropriate. For instance, a woman in her thirties probably wouldn't be familiar with The Brady Bunch. I'm listening to Stephen King's latest book, Fairy Tale, and the main character makes references to old movies constantly and King explained it by saying the hero's father always watched Turner Movie Classics. Okay, Mr. King, you justified the historic references and I'll give you a pass because you're one of the greatest writers of all time, however, I can see that you fell back on this because you're not up on current/recent pop culture enough to make your hero actually seem like he's 18. He's like a 70 year old in a young body.

Long story short, when creating characters, keep in mind their ages and match their actions, thoughts and references to that age. Do a little research and your character will be the richer and more realistic for it.

Photo by Glen Bowman via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Best Bargain Ever

by Marti Attoun from the July 18, 2022 issue

Tagline: Thrifting with her best friend, Jackie isn't looking for anything special...until she finds herself face-to-face with a fascinating find she can't resist.

Observations: I usually go straight to the byline to see who wrote the story, but this time I didn't do that. I just jumped right into the story. I really enjoyed it and wasn't surprised to see who wrote it. 

Lenora was a hilarious secondary character. I loved the humor the friends shared--it makes the characters more realistic. Anytime you have two people who have been friends for a long time, they laugh together. They probably order each other around like Lenora does with Jackie. They help each other with projects, like furnishing a new house.

I loved the misunderstanding in the story even though I saw it the moment she spotted the plant stand inside the garage.

Attoun did some great foreshadowing.

She shows you in that little mini-scene that some sellers didn't have time to price their merchandise so that it makes sense later when Jackie mistakenly assumes the owner of the plant stand was in a similar situation.

He's wearing a T-shirt from the Prairie Kitchen restaurant, one of Jackie's favorite eateries and then we find out his daughter is the owner, which gives them a talking point. 

I also loved how she didn't overdo the physical attraction, limiting it to a shiver and a fluttery feeling. To me, these understated reactions are more natural, less purple prose-y. But your mileage may vary. :)

Photo by Sandra Cohen-Rose and Colin Rose via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Spark of New Love

by Dorothy Wills-Raftery from the July 4, 2022 issue

Tagline: When Cassie returns to her hometown for the Fourth of July, she never expects an old flame to show up...and reignite a decades-old passion.

Observations: I've worked with Ms. Wills-Raftery on several stories and seeing this in print makes me so proud! I love seeing what improvements she made and there are two places in this story that I absolutely loved. 

The paragraph where she describes the actual parade is so thorough and concise. I really felt like I was getting hit by all five senses, like I was really there.

And the ending was so good. She really wrapped it up in a warm, fuzzy bow. Great job, Dorothy!!!

Photo by Shaun C. Williams via Flickr Creative Commons License

Once upon a Summer

by Julie Brookman from the July 25, 2022 issue

Tagline: When Brooke sees a pair of visitors trooping up to the gates of her petting zoo, she never expects the spark of an old flame to ignite into new love.

SoC Observations: Stream of Consciousness Observations is where I just type my thoughts as I have them while reading the story. If you don't want to see my honest thoughts--positive and negative--stop reading now. No, really. 

1. I like all the info in the first paragraph, but this second sentence is a doozy that maybe should have been broken up. 

These days, it was a win if a handful of people came each day, but even though the park wasn't as busy as it used to be, Brooke put a lot of work into keeping it going...work that, it seemed, would maybe pay off this year, as the zoo's first pair of visitors made their way toward the gates.

2. I am not a particularly skilled business woman, but if she's struggling to keep the place afloat, she should not be giving away free train rides. 

3. Ah, I remember being boy-crazy at 15. 

4. I like the memories they bring up. It makes it seem like it was a really fun summer.

5. Aww, he wrote letters to her but was too nervous to send them. That's sweet but most teens in the early 2000s would never think to write a letter. 

6. I'm finding it a wee bit hard to believe he kept the letters all this time. 

7. I love how she's supposed to check the yes box. Hilariously realistic.

8. Again, my layman business woman brain says, letting someone else drive the train would certainly be counter to any insurance she has for the zoo.

Is it possible that people read this story and had no qualms about it whatsoever? It's not only possible, it's probable. However, it is in my DNA to be detail-oriented. I literally cannot stop my brain from noticing these things and I think it's a good quality for an editor. As a writer, I much prefer to catch these things before readers (or editors) do. 

Photo by Pululante via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love Lost...and Found

 by Mary Ann Joyce from the June 27, 2022 issue

Tagline: When her high school sweetheart makes a sudden reappearance at her friend's scavenger hunt, Carly's summer takes a magical turn.

Observations: Well, I seem to have skipped a couple of issues. LOL Sorry about that. I have a lot going on right now at my real life job and my personal life, plus I just got Covid. <sighs> Again. I had no symptoms the first time it got me. This time, I was not so lucky. 

I thought this story was fun. I love the idea of having a friend who entertains on a regular basis, with themes! She sounds like a fun friend. It makes me wonder if this fictional friend subscribes to Woman's World, because she'd find all the party theme ideas she could ever want there. LOL

I wanted to point out something Joyce did that can help with word count. I've said in my class (click here for more info about it) that if your stories are running too long, one solution is to skimp on physical descriptions. Here, Joyce describes the hero this way:

When we were teens, he was as think as spaghetti, and just my type: cute, in that nerdy way with this black-framed glasses and short hair. Now he's more Clark Kent behind his specs.. He's filled out, his broad chest prominently on display in a blue polo.

Now, that's actually quite a bit of wordage, so maybe that's not the perfect example of brevity I was looking for, but my point--using a famous person as shorthand--will still work. When you identify a well-known person, like Clark Kent, readers will immediately have an image of that person in mind, which means you don't have to go into additional detail. In this example, Joyce does go into further detail, but she's a seasoned pro who has little trouble staying within 800 words.

Photo by Mark Anderson via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Second Chance at Romance

by Mary Ann and Rakel Joyce from the July 11, 2022 issue

Tagline: When her daughter invites her to a poetry reading, Ellie is shocked to find an old flame waiting for her...and a new chance at love.

Observations: Well, of course Mary Ann Joyce (along with Rakel Joyce) has given us a wonderful story. She is such a skilled writer. You can see it just in this one paragraph where she sees her first love again for the first time in 20+ years...

As Hannah stepped into the bookstore for a night of poetry days later, she stopped suddenly. There, sitting at a small table, was Ethan. His black hair had just the right amount of silver flecks. Suddenly, he looked Hannah's way, and behind his dark-rimmed glasses, she could see his expression change. His half-smile and the butterflies that immediately filled her stomach were exactly as she remembered them.

If you look carefully, you'll see a detailed description of our hero, along with a delicious moment of hope, nostalgia and anticipation as he recognizes Hannah. You've got to get your words to work double-duty because you have so few of them to work with. 

This is a perfect second chance story and I encourage you to keep this in a file somewhere for reference.

Photo by David Orban via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love Is in the Air

by Amy Lanier from the June 20, 2022 issue

Tagline: When a stranger shows up to fly in her hot-air balloon, Sophia finds herself floating toward a second shot at love.

Observations: This was a delightfully original story. I've never encountered a hot-air balloon in a Woman's World romance, so that was refreshing. I also loved how Lanier threw some obstacles to love in there that the heroine (and the reader!) thought were insurmountable. 

Photo by Dee and Tula Monstah via Flickr creative commons license.

On the Road to Forever

by Marcella Robinson from the June 13, 2022 issue

Tagline: After popping a tire on a country road in her hometown, Merrilee is sure she's out of luck...until a familiar face arrives to save the day.

Observations: This story left me feeling warm inside. Robinson set the scene of a country road on a warm summer day so well. And when she got to the hero's "grand entrance," I was a goner.

The truck door slammed, the driver coming toward her, the sun at his back, casting him in a golden glow.

I mean, come on! That's such a perfect image.

Also, there are so many warm fuzzies regarding her dad's garage and her feeling the nostalgia of returning to the place where she'd made so many happy memories with him just added to the perfection of this story. 

Then there's the ending. I'm literally getting goosebumps reading it again.

They climbed into her car, rolled down the windows and, just like old times, drove down the country road into the sunset with wind in their hair, and the promise of love in their hearts.

If you want an example of how to craft a perfect Woman's World 5-Minute romance, read this one again.

Photo by Kumweni via Flickr Creative Commons License

Melody of Love

 by Rose Ross Zediker from the June 6, 2022 issue

Tagline: When Katherine and her old flame, Logan, meet in a piano bar, will their love build--or go flat?

Observations: I've not seen a story set in a piano bar before, so yay! I love seeing new settings for these stories.  

This week I wanted to focus on this excellent first paragraph:

"Thank you for driving me to the opening of the new piano bar. I didn't want to miss it," Aunt Molly said. "I like to support my former students' musical endeavors."

It's excellent because Zediker gave us a lot of information via natural dialogue. It can be challenging to do this without having the characters sound stilted. I see this once in a while when I edit stories and I always think of it as the "As you know, Bob" syndrome, as in...

"As you know, Bob, Uncle Barney didn't like you as much as he did me, so when he died, I was the prime beneficiary."

All of this information would already be known to Bob and the only (painfully obvious) purpose of this line of dialogue is to inform the reader. It's not usually this blatant, but it can be something you want to be wary of.

A Day Worth Remembering

 by Mary Ellen Main from the May 20, 2022 issue

Tagline: The last thing military widow Pam is expecting at the senior center is a second shot at love...until a handsome stranger shows up in the lunch line.

Observations: I didn't think it was possible to write a romance related to such a somber holiday, but Main succeeded. I liked Pam's posse of friends at the senior center. They were adorable. And notice that only one of them was named--Georgia. It's not necessary to name every person who appears in your story. 

The time you use to describe characters should be in direct proportion to their importance to the story, and this goes double for Woman's World stories. For instance, waiters, fellow passengers, people in the elevator, these "movie extras" needn't be named or described unless necessary. You only have 800 words. Best to use them developing your story. Even the main characters probably don't need much description. (Pam didn't get any at all.)

Here's what we got about the hero, Kevin:

Thick brown hair with a slight wave stood atop his broad,handsome face and his arm rested across his mom's shoulder, creating a picture of warmth that made Pam's heart glow. As he took his place in line, his deep brown eyes, crinkled gently at each corner, caught Pam's.

It makes sense that she took sometime to create a picture of him in the readers' heads. This is the man we're going to vicariously fall in love with. 

However, if you need the space to develop the love story and the emotions and the character arcs, I would absolutely choose to use the words for that over a physical description of the characters. You can usually get away with just mentioning that they have brown hair or green eyes. :)

Photo by Denise Krebs via Flickr Creative Commons License

True Love at First Bite

 by Kay Layton Sisk from the May 2, 2022 issue

Tagline: When father-son duo Blake and Brad show up at Janie and Annie's front door, the mother and daughter are in for the sweetest surprise.

Observations: This week I wanted to put a spotlight on the Black Moment. 

Often in fiction there is a moment in the story when it seems as if all is lost. The reader wonders how the protagonists will overcome all the obstacles. In Pretty Woman, it's when Vivian is driven away from the Beverly Regent and Edward. In A League of Their Own, it's when Dottie leaves the team to start her new life with her war-injured husband. In Romancing the Stone, it's when Jack leaves Joan by diving off the wall to chase the alligator that swallowed El Corazon, the jewel.

You may not think so but many times Woman's World stories have Black Moments too but they're subtle enough that sometimes I call them Gray Moments. In this story, the Gray Moment comes when Annie has to leave to go to her meeting. 

Clearly the stakes are not as dire in a Woman's World story as they are in movies. Sometimes in movies and novels, the reader will not be able to see any way out of a disappointing or even tragic ending, but unless it's a tragedy, things will work out. Edward comes to his senses and goes after Vivian. Dottie returns to play the championship game. Jack shows up on Joan Wilder's doorstep with a yacht and crocodile-skin boots.

In this story, Annie and Brad figure out a way to meet again to discuss restaurants in the neighborhood. There isn't the rush you might have felt when you watched those movies--and if you haven't watched them, they are MUST-SEES. But there should be a warm glow of contentment and satisfaction when you read the end of your Woman's World story.

If there isn't, keep revising.

Photo by Benny Mazur via Flickr Creative Commons License