The Sweetest Love Story and Love Blooms in Spring

 byAmy Oliveira and MarciMcEachern, from the April 19 and April 26 issues, respectively

Taglines: After inheriting a candy shop, Evelyn can't see how she can afford to keep it...until handsome Tom opens her eyes to all the sweet possibilities.

When her handsome new neighbor approaches with a fun request, Lori's love life is suddenly blossoming with promise.

Observations: Both of these stories were excellent, but unfortunately, I couldn't find any teaching moments in either of them. It's hard sometimes, guys! 

Photos by LoriCaliforny and David Howard via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Oh, What a Knight?

by Chris Maday Schmidt from the April 12, 2021 issue

Tagline: When her elevator gets stuck on the way to a meeting, Sutton thinks she's out of luck...until a hunky passenger steps in...

Observations: Ms. Schmidt is very good at utilizing the single-sentence for a laugh. Check this out.

I think about that morning's call with the director of my nana and pop's assisted living facility, the hefty payment due for their care. And how my immediate fiscal status hangs in limbo.

Like this elevator.

In comedy, timing is everything. And that little pause after "limbo," makes all the difference.

Here are the other two examples from her story. In this one, she uses an m-dash instead of making the punchline a separate sentence, but the effect is the same.

With the clock ticking, I hitch up my skirt a few modest inches, raise my arms to grasp the ledge, and hoist myself--one centimeter.

And the last example...

GQ clears his throat. My skin tingles with awareness. Or heat rash.

Very funny stuff. Definitely put the one-sentence punchline in your writer's toolbox.

The Good Egg

 by Mary Ann Joyce from the April 5, 2021 issue

Tagline: Dory and her best friend, Jack, are searching for treasure at the annual Easter egg hunt...but what they find surprises them both: a chance for love.

Observations: Wow. Just...wow. If you're looking for a shining example of what a Woman's World story can be, this is it. The writing is so perfectly restrained and tight. Remember my post about overwriting? This is the opposite of overwriting. 

Here is the sentence that really jumped out at me and said, "I am not overwritten!"

His blue eyes flashed in the emerging sunshine.

Bam. It's a very simple sentence, but it's effective.

An over-writer might look at this sentence and feel it's too simple and embellish it in an attempt to Describe with a capital D. She might want to add a simile (or two) and at least one more adjective. She might choose a verb like bedazzled or blazed or shimmered. Can we agree that bedazzled would be overkill, considering Dory is just coming to realize she's attracted to Jack? Similarly, blazed is not only too much, it's difficult for anything to blaze in broad daylight. Shimmered is a wonderful word, but not quite right for this sentence because if things can't blaze in broad daylight, they certainly can't shimmer either. Shimmering is fainter.

Some of you may be thinking, "Oh, who cares if something can't really blaze in broad daylight?" Actually, you should care. One of the most, if not the most critical skill a writer must develop is the ability to choose the right words. It's not just a matter of looking a word up in a thesaurus and willy-nilly choosing one. You must be able to detect and understand the nuances of words and how they're used so you can use them yourself effectively. This is why good writers are avid readers. You can't understand how to correctly use the language unless you've been exposed to it. A lot. 

By the way, if you hire me as an editor, I'm more than happy to help you examine your word choices. I usually avoid this type of laser-focused fine-tuning and concentrate more on tone, plot, characterization, mechanics and punctuation. I don't want my clients to feel as if they're being nit-picked to death. However, if this is something you're interested in, just mention that to me at the get-go. :) Click here if you're interested in hiring me to edit your Woman's World story.

I also wanted to give Joyce a *Kate Willoughby Handshake for surprising me with the whole golden egg surprise. That was just delightful! I definitely did not see that coming and it was an adorable moment that I'm sure made every single reader wish they had a man as romantic and as creative as Jack in their lives.

*The Kate Willoughby Handshake is similar to the Paul Hollywood Handshake from the Great British Baking Show. It means the author succeeded in dazzling and surprising me.

Photo by jmv via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Sweet Reunion

 

by Wendel Potter from the March 29, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Allison Fletcher visits a lemonade stand, she discovers she's in for a sweet surprise--and a chance at renewed love!

Observations: This charming story is the perfect time to suggest a strategy that I've seen emerge in the world of romance novels which is focusing on tropes. 

Related to that, we all have certain story elements that we are drawn to, sometimes on a subconscious level. I attended a workshop once that talked about this very thing and how, if we incorporate things that really flip our own switches, it will make the act of writing more intrinsically fun which, in turn, helps us produce a better book. The workshop prompted to make a list of the things I'm drawn to in stories and movies so that I can include them in my own writing. (Obviously, some of the items on these lists aren't appropriate for a Woman's World story.)

For instance, some of the character types I love to see in books or movies are: 

• bad ass older people, especially grand dames who everyone is afraid of
• male friends who are like brothers
• chefs
• twins
• royalty
• honorable gentlemen
• overprotective big brothers
• narcissists who end up to be caring and generous
• bookworms
• wallflowers
• serial killers
• chess masters

Some of the details I love to see in stories or movies are:

• comeuppance scenes
• bets or pranks
• kisses in the rain
• shopping for clothes for a special date or event
• reluctant makeovers
• swooping up a woman on a motorcycle or horse or vine or what have you
• ice skating
• using fame for good
• grand entrances
• fictional reality shows
• surprise reunions, especially military
• animals being rescued

Places/locations I love to see in stories or movies:

• boarding schools
• a rooftop oasis
• trains
• bakeries
• bookstores
• hidden passageways
• yachts
• penthouses
• palaces
• any place decorated with fairy lights

In this story, I saw several tropes that have proven over and over to be attractive to readers and the editors. The first one I noticed was including something nostalgic. In this case, it was a lemonade stand and the soda jerk cap. The demographic of the readership skews older so it makes sense to include things that they can relate to, something that hails from "the good old days." Teachers are also popular as characters, and as far as plots are concerned, having people return to their hometown is seen often. This could be a story-generating method--choose a few popular tropes and try to come up with a story that includes them all. Give it a try!

Photo by EvinDC via Flickr Creative Commons License

Lucky in Love

 by Christine Greifzu from the March 22, 2021 issue

Tagline: After a broken engagement, Kelly is sure she's cursed in love...until a surprise guest at her Saint Patrick's Day booth turns everything around.

Observations: For those of you who don't know, backstory is the stuff that happened to your characters before the story starts. It's like their personal history.  Obviously, if they're an adult, a lot has happened to them, and just as obviously, you don't need to mention it all, especially considering how short these stories need to be.

In this particular story, the author dropped one bit of backstory at the beginning--

Since this was her first year renting a booth...

--and then waited until the hero showed up to tell us one pertinent fact about Kelly's romantic history--

After a broken engagement last year, she was overdue for some [luck], and a good man in her life, come to that.

And that's it! That is all the backstory we get. It's also all the backstory we need. Don't overload your story with unnecessary information. You don't have that luxury with an 800 word word count.

Photo by GoToVan via Flickr Creative Commons license

Writing Better: Overwriting

I believe it's easier to improve as a writer if you know what you're doing wrong. One of the most common mistakes made by amateur (and even some professional) writers is to overwrite. Overwriting is like overacting but with words. 

Here's a reverse-engineered example of overwriting from a story I recently submitted about a man who is planning to pop the question. (Cross your fingers for me!)

Overwritten

Being well prepared helped with the nerves that battered his body but didn't eradicate them completely because what if...what if Allie gave him the one answer that would tear his heart into a million miserable pieces? 

Toned down

Being well prepared helped with the nerves but didn't banish them entirely because what if...what if the unthinkable happened and she said no?

See the difference? Doesn't it feel like the first example is just trying too hard? Resist the temptation to make your writing "better" by amping up your adjectives and verbs, adding too many adverbs or even just overdoing the emotions appropriate for the situation or character. 

And read this article. It's truly excellent.

https://kidlit.com/two-signs-of-overwriting-and-why-its-a-problem/

Photo by Raw Pixel Ltd via Flickr Creative Commons License

Cupid's Arrow

by Rochelle Banks from the March 8, 2021 issue 

Tagline: After his dog escapes, Eric Johnson runs into a woman trying to "steal" the pup and take him home...but ends up stealing Eric's heart instead.

Observations: I really enjoyed the humor in this story and the original premise. I've seen plenty of mix-ups in Woman's World stories, but they usually involve humans, not dogs! I also liked Eric. He was so earnest and when he panicked because their conversation was ending, it was adorable.

I laughed out loud at the name of the Humane Society's big event: the Fur Ball. 

Lots of fun.

Photo by Craig Richards via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Blizzard to Remember

by Marcie McEachern from the March 1, 2021 issue

Tagline: In the midst of a late-season blizzard and power outage, Anita lights a fire to share with her new neighbor, Calvin...and sparks of love begin to fly.

Observations: I thought I'd do another stream-of-consciousness post with this story. This is where I just type my thoughts as I read.

I love chili on wintery days. And corn bread too! With honey butter.  Honey butter is mandatory. I like how Anita thinks--slow cookers are fantastic for things like chili.

Oh, I might have tried to cook the cornbread in the fireplace. I toured an old cotton plantation once and learned that you can bake stuff like cookies and cake in Dutch ovens in a fireplace.

Calvin was obviously no Boy Scout, seeing as how he was completely unprepared for a power outage. LOL

Hmm, I'm going to assume Anita didn't have Calvin's phone number. 

I love Scrabble!

Oh, he spells D-A-T-E. Very clever!

Great story.

Photo by Nathan Borror via Flickr Creative Commons License

Something Borrowed

 by G.G. Andrew from the February 22, 2021 issue

Tagline: Emma is a librarian who's unsure that her love story will ever be written, until a dreamy repeat visitor makes a fairy-tale introduction.

Observations: This story is a good example of showing a character arc. While character arcs are a must in longer fiction, in a Woman's World story, it's not absolutely necessary. However, I do think showing the growth of one of the main characters makes a WW story a little meatier.

In this story, Emma starts out a timid librarian who admires a man who comes to the library every week. Until now, she's been afraid to approach him, but circumstances force her to say something or perhaps never see him again. (She could actually just go to the library at Monday at 12:30, even though she's not working, but we'll pretend that's not an option. LOL) By the end of the story, Emma has conquered her fear and given the object of her affections her phone number. Hooray!

Deciding on a point of growth for a character can be a good jumping off point for a story. Brainstorm a few "weaknesses" or fears and build a story around someone overcoming the weakness or facing the fear. The fear does not have to be romantic in nature, as Emma's was. It can be someone being afraid of driving on the freeway and taking lessons and falling for her driving instructor. You could write about someone who doesn't exercise but who wants to be healthier or someone who spends too much money on books and who ventures to the library. The possibilities are endless. You could also think about an aspect about yourself (or even a friend or family member) that you'd like to improve on and write a story based on that. 

Photo by Lydia Liu via Flickr Creative Commons License

Falling for You

by Alison Richards from the February 8, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Julie's handsome archnemesis, Mike, arrives at their annual work Super Bowl party, it's game on...until he scores a touchdown in her heart.

Observations: Congratulations to one of my workshop students, Alison Richards, on the sale of her story! I'm so excited for her. My apologies about the white strips behind the text. I can't figure out how to get rid of it. LOL

This story was about a potluck duel of sorts. The heroine fancies herself a skilled cook because her football inspired deviled eggs look so cute. Then, her handsome co-worker shows up with a dip that looks like an entire football field. 

I wanted to point out this one paragraph in the last third of the story because it's doing an important job. I hope you have the whole story in front of you because the point I'm trying to make will only make sense if you can go back and read the whole story again.

They chatted in the kitchen as she helped him make goal posts out of pretzel sticks. She told him about her father's stunt work and how she now taught volunteer classes in balance and fall prevention at the senior center. He explained that he'd moved to town when his youngest child graduated from college. His wife had passed away a few years earlier, and it was time for a fresh start.

Please notice that there isn't that much connecting going on in this particular paragraph. Most of that happens real time--when he comes to her rescue after her fall and when they're bantering. What I wanted you to notice was how this paragraph acts as a transition from the middle of the story to the next.

Basically the story goes like this:

Beginning of the story - We meet Julie and get a feel for her character. Then she falls.

Middle of the story - We meet Mike as he comes to her rescue. We learn about their "rivalry." They connect, real time, joking around with each other.

End of the story - They make a truce and pave the way for more romance in the future.

So, think of this kind of transition paragraph as one of the tools you can use when crafting your stories. 

Photo by Dennis Yang via Flickr Creative Commons license

Love in Aisle #4

by Deborah Clack from the January 25, 2021 issue

Tagline: Cheryl is just picking up dessert at the grocery store...but when Kurt appears, it looks like love is on the menu...

Observations: I haven't done a stream-of-consciousness post in a while, so here goes! For those of you who haven't seen this, it's where I just type down what I'm thinking as I read the story. 

Nice description of the guy.

I love that line..."Are you having a salad crisis?" LOL

Aha! Clack clearly knows her greens. I don't like frisee or kale in salads. The texture of frisee is too fluffy and raw kale is too tough.

I'm always a little amused when characters' fingers touch when handing something over. Maybe I'm a germaphobe or something, but when I take or give things to and from strangers, I try really hard not to touch them. LOL But you know, it's a romance story device, so I'm fine with it.

Ha! I've never heard of break and bake. LOL

And once Cheryl mentions a dinner she's going to, I immediately suspect they're going to the same dinner.

I'm impressed by Kurt's ingenuity regarding the bundt cake.

I liked how Clack revealed that they were indeed going to the same dinner.

Really cute ending with the kale confession! But I did wonder about them faking eating dinner and "ditch[ing] them for dinner at Sal's Steak House." I kind of wish they'd just made a date to go out another night.

Photo by denabola 2025 via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love on the Ice

 by Marcella Robinson from the January 18, 2021 issue

Tagline: Nora is still feeling the chill of her divorce...until Blake warms her heart with the promise of new love.

Observations: This was a lovely story. There wasn't anything particularly novel or different about it; it was simply well-written solid stuff.

My favorite part was this:

It was as if a veil of safety draped over Nora, being so close to him. Even though it was only her hand on his forearm, strength emanated from him. Strength that he could take on any burden and carry it with ease.

Then, Robinson made me laugh when she had that big strong hero fall after all. That was unexpected and, as is the new tradition on this blog, Robinson earns the Kate Willoughby Handshake for surprising me! 

Photo by XTRAICE via Flickr Creative Commons License

Snow Day

 by Shelley Cooper from the January 4, 2021 issue

Tagline: In the midst of a snowball fight with her nephews, Maeve joins forces with their handsome neighbor, Simon...and gets hit with a surprising new chance at love.

Observations: Shelley Cooper has done it again. I loved this story! This is my favorite part:

Since she wasn't one to get a dare go unchallenged, she gathered a handful of snow and mounded it into a tight ball.

"What's she doing?" Patrick's voice held a panicked note.

"She's not going to throw that at Mr. Graves?" Peter sounded equally panicked.

"Yes, she is!" Parker's eyes shone with admiration as Maeve stood and aimed.

I also loved the rules that kept cropping up.

Photo by John Lodder via Flickr Creative Commons License

Skating Through Christmas

 
by Shelley Cooper from the December 21, 2020 issue

Tagline: Facing Christmas alone, Holly is struggling to get into the holiday spirit, when a surprising gift leads her to the skating pond...and a shot at love.

Observations: When I got to the part where her parents gave her her old skates, I knew this story was going to be fantastic and I wasn't disappointed. Maybe it's because when I was about seven years old, I took ice skating lessons with dreams of being a Chinese Peggy Fleming. (I think I lasted about a month. LOL)

The phrase "heart-clenchingly handsome," didn't float my boat, but I was highly amused by their holiday themed names - Nicholas Winter and Holly Snow. Too cute.

At the end of the story, Cooper calls back two things that she introduces at the beginning, a great trick to tie things together, sort of like when you gather a stack of papers and then jostle them together so they're all squared up.

Here's a quote for the first call back.

"...The theme for this holiday is relaxation."

Then, at the end of the story...

The smile on his face reminded her of what the season was really about: togetherness.

For call back number two, the cancelled blind date doesn't seem significant at the beginning of the story until you (and the characters!) realize they were each other's blind date.

This story wins the Kate Willoughby Handshake for surprising me. I hadn't foreseen that they were each other's blind date.

Photo by Jeremy Keith via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Perfectly Good Man

 by Marcie McEachern from the December 14, 2020 issue

Tagline: Kristen is unsure if moving to a new town was the right choice, until a dashing stranger gives her the sign she's been hoping for.

Observations: It's been a while since I saw a story with the trope of "Grandma's Advice," so I was glad to see it in this story. This is a tried and true Woman's World plot in which the heroine remembers a piece of advice, usually a saying, that a relative always said. It's usually about love, but it doesn't have to be. It's also usually a heroine, but you could swap the genders for a twist. Usually the advice ends up coming true, but McEachern put her own twist on it and wrote a story that did not conform to the norm. 

I liked the humor at the end of the story. 

Photo by Marco Verch via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Thanksgiving Saving Grace

 

by Maria Gorman from the November 30, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Grace gets a flat tire on the way to her sister's Thanksgiving dinner, a handsome stranger comes to her rescue...and winds up her guest of honor.

Observations: Okay, I have a confession to make. I am addicted to Criminal Minds. I never watched this show when it was on the networks, but I discovered it on Netflix and I can't stop watching episodes. Unfortunately, this means I am thinking about serial killers more frequently than most people, which is why I couldn't help thinking that Grace needed to be much more careful, especially on a back country road where there are no witnesses. LOL

Other than that, and my thought that she should have called her sister ahead of time to see if it was okay, I thought it was a solid man-to-the-rescue story. 

Photo by Rodney Campbell via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Apple of His Ice Cream

 by Marcie McEachern from the November 23, 2020 issue

Tagline: When an ice cream vendor starts stealing business from her pie stand, Amanda never expects he'll be stealing her heart too!

Observations: Marcie McEachern is quickly becoming a regular contributor. Obviously, she's figured out what the editors like.

In this story you'll find two Woman's World tried and true elements.

• A nostalgic Norman Rockewellian event like apple picking
• Comfort food x two!

I truly enjoyed seeing the heroine wrestle with her conscience and choose to take the high road. Sometimes reading a Woman's World story is like the opposite of watching a reality show in that we can actively see people making good choices that demonstrate character.

Photo by Jennifer Boyer via Flickr Creative Commons License

Heart to Hearth

 
by Jill Weatherholt from the December 7, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Jacquelyn calls in an expert to clean out her chimney, she never expects to start a fire in her own heart!

Observations: I really liked this story and it's funny because I need a chimney sweep's services too! We haven't had a fire in our fireplace for many years, and like Jacquelyn, I'm afraid to try until I have a professional make sure everything's okay.

I was a little surprised at how melancholy the story got. If it had been me, I'd have been worried I'd pushed the sympathy a little too far, but the editors didn't seem to mind.

I loved how he came dressed up. I also loved his chimney sweep joke. (It makes me want to watch Mary Poppins. LOL) 

Photo by Karl Baron via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love a la Mode

by Carol Kalme from the October 5, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Judy goes apple picking, she gets more than she bargained for when she runs into an old flame.

Observations: You can't choose a more fall-inspired activity than apple picking, which is a personal bucket list item. I really enjoyed the part where they were recalling how they'd known each other in college. (For the record, I would give apple pie and peanut butter ice cream a try. It sounds good!) 

I wasn't crazy about him touching her chin and turning her face toward him. That seemed too intimate, considering they hadn't seen each other for many years and even then, they were customer and pie girl. 

I loved the surprise that they'd been set up. I've mentioned before that I'm difficult to surprise and this author accomplished it! (If you're a Great British Baking Show fan, you'll understand when I say I feel a little like surprising me is this blog's equivalent of the Paul Hollywood handshake. LOL) 

However, I did feel a moment of confusion when I wondered how the daughter could have known they were acquainted in college. It seems unlikely that either Richard or Judy would have mentioned each other to her. Then I thought okay, it was just a coincidence. The daughter had no foreknowledge that her boss and her mother had known each other. She was just playing matchmaker, which is fine, but I did have that moment where I questioned things and that might be on me and my analytic mind. What was your experience with this story? Tell me in the comments!

Photo by Shardayyy Photography via Flickr CC license.

A Bite of Love

 by Alyssa Symon from the September 21, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Theo's high school crush returns to town and opens a bakery, it's only a matter of time before he gets a sweet shot of romance.

Observations: This was a solidly written story. My favorite part was...

She smiled--there wasn't a heart in town she couldn't melt with that smile.

What a perfect line.

Also, right after that there's a high pitched voice that says, "Cookie!" and I thought it was the hero! I thought he was so nervous that his voice cracked. I immediately reread that part and realized my mistake.

I also thought it was funny that she thought he was on a stakeout, after last week's story, which really was a stakeout.

Photo by Vegan Feast Catering via Flickr CC license