The Greatest Gift of All

from the December 13, 2021 issue by Marcella Robinson

Tagline: Despite the busyness of hosting a Christmas carnival, Jen and Colin find a moment of quiet to feel the magic of love in the crisp air.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: 

1. Love the horse's name.
2. Oh, I have ridden in a horse drawn carriage decked out for Christmas and that was really fun. I'll bet a sleigh in the snow is that much more wonderful.
3. He brought her cocoa? Aw...a thoughtful man. 
4. Okay, so a friends to lovers story.
5. I really love this description, "...there was something about a sleigh, decked out in all its festive glory for the holiday season--evergreen boughs, red velvet bows, and twinkle lights--that drew people in," but that's a little awkwardly structured.
6. Hm...who is Sadie to Colin? Is he a single dad? This can't be a case of mistaken identity where the woman thinks the little girl is his daughter and it turns out she's his niece, because it's been established that Sadie has known Colin for "many years." 
7. He carried an eight year old up a hill in the snow. He must be a big strong man.
8. Oh wait. "...next year Sadie's father can take the reins?" Hm. So maybe a niece then? Still not clear on the relationship.
9. He asks if she has time for one more ride...with him. Nice. He's making his move!
10. Wait...their anniversary??? Hold on a second. They're a couple already? Is this a plot twist the author put in their on purpose? Probably.
11. Okay, we finally find out Sadie is their granddaughter. Wow. I was picturing two people in their thirties. 
12. Cute ending, calling back to the bucket list.

My personal preference would have been to know their ages and their marital status right up front. The story reads very differently if you know their a happily married couple than if you think Jen is hoping Colin will wake up and smell the coffee. With the former, the entire time I was reading, I would have gotten the warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you come across love that has lasted through thick and thin. With the latter, my brain had to do a one-eighty (twice). This very likely could be because I'm not just reading for enjoyment, like most of the WW readers. I'm analyzing every component as I go, so maybe that's why I reacted negatively to the plot twist. Let me know in the comments what you thought.

Photo by rickpilot_2000 via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love's Missing Ingredient

by Beth Pugh from the November 29, 2021 issue

Tagline: Needing the secret add-in to his late wife's famous potato salad, Frank feels both out of luck and lonely...until Ivy shows up with a cure for both.

Observations: This story is a good example of showing a character growing and changing. Frank starts out missing his wife, but gradually, we see him decide it's time to move on with his life. I'll break it down for you.

How Pugh showed him missing her:

1. "Glancing at the wedding picture above the light switch, Frank shook his head. Sarah's death had broken his heart two years ago. He missed her so."

2. He wears his wife's apron.

How Pugh shows him making the change:

1. Frank notices Ivy's eyes, tan skin and chestnut hair.

2. He makes Ivy blush and finds that satisfying after having not affected a woman that way in so long.

3. His heart rate increases as he notes her perfume.

4. "...her sweet smile sending his pulse soaring."

How Pugh shows he's completed his arc:

1. "Taking a chance, Frank turned to Ivy, his confidence bolstered by her warm gaze. 'What about you? Would you like to share a sandwich?'"

2. "A date? His breath caught at the levity of those words. Was he ready? Maybe, maybe not. But it was time to try. Sarah would have wanted it that way."

3. There's the ubiquitous tingly physical contact.

4. "After walking the ladies home, Frank returned to the kitchen, an extra pep in his step. As he savored the perfect potato salad, he felt thankful and full of hope."

So as you can see, even in a short 800-word story, you can show character growth.

I do have to admit I was a bit confused as to the timeline of this story. I started out thinking it was dusk on Thanksgiving day because Iris says, "Happy Thanksgiving, Frank," and "...he knew the grocery store had closed already. The shortened Thanksgiving hours guaranteed as much." But then later, he asks her to share that sandwich and Ivy says she and her niece are having a movie night. Maybe I was the only who was confused by this, but I do think this makes the case for having someone else read your story before you submit. Just one more pair of eyes on it can make a big difference.

Photo by Robert Judge via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Holiday to Remember

by Cher L. Tom from the November 22, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Marcie gest stuck waitressing all alone in a snowstorm, dreamy cafe regular, Les, steps in to help...and cooks up a steamy recipe for love.

Observations: I am so proud of Cher. I have edited three of her stories now and this is the second one to get published. It seems weird--not to mention redundant--to analyze a story I've already analyzed in minute detail, so I will just say, this story had a fun, small town cafe feel to it and you couldn't help but feel Marcie is one of those waitresses who welcomes you to her cafe like you're one of the family.

Congrats, Cher!

Photo by Corey Taratuta via Flickr Creative Commons License

Basket of Love

by Anna Kittrell from the November 15, 2021

Tagline: A supermarket snafu leaves Tom feeling like a real turkey just before Thanksgiving...until a strike of inspiration offers him a new shot love.

Observations: I'm seeing many more "hate-to-love" stories this year than ever before. There was some real animosity in this one. These days I'm often annoyed by selfish people who think only of themselves. All you people who breeze through the door that I held open for you and don't even bother to say thank you--I'm looking at you! So I wouldn't have forgiven the guy as quickly as the heroine in the story did.

But on the other hand, nothing breaks my heart more than people who are alone during the holidays and this story plucked that particular heartstring for me. Well done, Kittrell!

Photo by evan p. cordes via Flickr Creative Commons License

Playing Cupid on Halloween

by Denice Stradling from the November 1, 2021 issue

Tagline: After agreeing to chaperone her daughter's party at school, Jenna is thrilled to find that Halloween has a treat in store for her: a sweet shot at love!

Observations: This story is a good example of a Woman's World math equation I just made up.

Things in common + prime interaction + attraction = a chance at love.

Things in common

Stradling listed these in this paragraph:

On our walk to the school, we found out that we were both divorced and loved books and movies. But spending time with our girls was at the top of our lists.

They also discover they have daughters who like to play Cupid.

Prime interaction

You see them flirt with each other regarding the costumes at the beginning of the story. After the party, they compromise on the trick-or-treating, suggested by the girls. 

Attraction

There's boatloads of it. Here are the five instances I found.

I turned to see a handsome pirate smiling at me, complete with red bandana, tricorn hat and leather boots. His eyes were the same blue as the night sky, and his smile made the concept of being taken captive seem altogether not too bad.

I laughed, thinking there was more than one way to lose one's head!

We laughed, and as I took his arm, a thrill shot up mine.

[His pirate shirt] was unbuttoned almost halfway down his tanned chest, and the contrast with the white shirt was a beautiful sight to behold.

He moved a little closer to me, and my heart definitely started a minuet.

Speaking of which, I am offering Stradling an official *Kate Willoughby Handshake for featuring a character's heart doing something original. 

*The Kate Willoughby Handshake is similar to the Paul Hollywood Handshake from the Great British Baking Show. It means the author dazzled and/or surprised me.

Photo by Bruce Matsunaga via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Sweet Love Story

by G.G. Andrew from the October 25, 2021 issue

Tagline: When her rival outsells her apples at the Halloween festival, Michelle never expects it will lead to a romantic pairing.

Observations: I can't help but notice this is another "rivals selling produce of some sort" story. Remember "In the Market for True Love?" And yet, the stories are different. In this one, I got more of a feeling that Michelle had been attracted to Sean for a while, but was refusing to admit it to herself. In the other story, I think the heroine truly disliked the hero until she talked to him. Just goes to show you, you can take similar plots and make them different enough to get published!

I liked how Sean compared the caramel with the apples to the two of them... 

"...would you like to have dinner with me? Not to talk business. Just...us."

Michelle's jaw dropped. "You and me? But we're nothing alike!"

"In personality, maybe." Sean shrugged. "But we both know that two things that seem like they don't belong can create magic together."

Clever!

Photo by nerissa's ring via Flickr Creative Commons License

Cinema Sweethearts

by Cathy Cormany from the October 18, 2021 issue

Tagline: When a stranger sits down alongside would-be mystery novelist Patrice, it could be the start of a love story she's always dreamed of.

Observations: Adorable story, set in one of my favorite places in the world - a coffee joint. Cormany shows the two characters connecting over a love of classic films. If you're in need of a story idea, you can do the same thing. 

Brainstorm 20 things that you like or that interest you. Here, I'll do it too.

1. Origami
2. Ukeleles
3. Macarons
4. The Great British Baking Show
5. Succulents 
6. Bonsai trees
7. The Gilroy Garlic Festival
8. Hot air balloons
9. Humingbirds
10. Oatmilk
11. Homemade pasta
12. Chihuahuas
13. French bulldogs
14. Hockey
15. Calligraphy
16. Romance novels
17. Massage
18. Pompeii
19. Guys and Dolls, the musical
20. Brazilian music

Now choose one of the items from the list. Figure out how two people interested in that thing might meet. Let's say I chose ukeleles. I happen to know that some libraries loan out ukeleles. Maybe two people meet at the library in search of a new hobby. Maybe the library holds a class once a week. One character just retired. The other is a widow or widower. 

Or maybe one of them played years ago and was curious if they "still had it." Maybe the erstwhile musician offers some tips or suggests they meet at the park to strum together. 

Maybe one of them wants to learn how to play happy birthday for a relative. 

Or maybe they want to entertain the people at his/her grandmother's nursing home. Maybe, by way of the convenient coincidence trope, the other person works at that nursing home and they decide to perform a duet of Christmas carols.

Let your mind wander. Keep brainstorming until you come upon an idea you really love. Don't settle for the first idea that comes up. Make your brain work harder. I find my brain is pretty lazy at first and you can see this in the ideas I came up with. The last idea, in my opinion, is a keeper. 

Photo by AUM OER via Flickr creative commons license

All Fired Up

by Shelley Cooper from the October 4, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Samantha meets an unwitting carjacker rustling around in her back seat at the grocery store, she never expects that, to atone for his "crime," he will make her the best meal of her life...and cook up a steamy new chance at love.

Observations: Well, I'm not sure how this issue got buried, but better late than never.

I have been the perpetrator of this particular crime! Many years ago, I had arrived at my car and was confused as to why my key wouldn't unlock it. This was way back when you actually inserted the key into the lock. LOL I realized it was not my car, just a lookalike, when I noticed someone sitting in it!! I was so embarrassed! What are the chances that two twin cars would be parked on the same residential street?

I talk all the time about showing the hero and heroine connecting. It's a critical element that you cannot skimp on in a Woman's World romance. In this story after the meet cute, Cooper shows them sharing bits of her personal lives with each other. In addition, these are humorous, self-deprecating stories, which also show the reader that these two don't take themselves too seriously. 

Photo by Bradley Gordon via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love Under the Stars

by Marti Attoun from the September 27, 2021 issue

Tagline: On a visit to her town's drive-in theater, Connie's memories of her old love are made new again when she runs into her high school sweetheart.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: 

• I love the name Junie. It reminds me of the children's book series, Junie B. Jones.
• Ah, a drive-in theatre. We're jumping right in with a big dose of nostalgia! I remember going to the drive-in with my parents. My sister and I would wear our pajamas and always fell asleep shortly after the movie started. The jammies was a genius idea by my mom and dad, for obvious reasons.
• Five bucks for a carload? That seems very low.
• "Cotton-candy Connie?" HILARIOUS
• More hilarity: "Nope. You can't fire someone when you're laughing."
• I kind of wish I knew how old Junie was. I'm trying to figure out just how precocious she is.
• No one sat outside their cars when I went to the drive-in. And blankets? Maybe drive-ins in other parts of the country are on grass fields. The ones I went to in Los Angeles were all asphalt. This doesn't surprise me; the LA River is all concrete.
• 50-cent burgers... Again, are the brothers Greenwood trying to make a profit or is this like a town-building venture?
• I do love the name of the drive-in though. The Starlight Drive-In. I can almost picture the mid-century modern sign. Edited to add - Look, I did find a photo of a mid-century modern sign of a Starlight drive-in. What are the chances???
• Perfect ending with the perfect amount of warmth and possibility.

Photo by Patrick Feller via Flickr Creative Commons License

Ingredients for Love

by Lisa Weaver from the October 11, 2021 issue

Tagline: Tasked with uncovering the secret to her handsome neighbor's prize-winning chili, Emma finds herself in a steamy romance.

Stream of Consciousness Observations:

• Aha. It's a matchmaker story. 
• "You want me to do what?" -- Immediately, I'm curious what her grandmother asked her to do and I want to read on to find out.
• "I'm not asking you to steal Anthony's recipe. I just need you to gather...intel." -- LMAO. Grandma is a hoot.
• "Anthony Figoli was a hot pepper away from beating me last year at the Great Chili Cookoff." -- Again, Grandma is slaying me.
• Who doesn't love a firefighter?
• Oh, it's the grandpa's recipe. I sense a secondary romance in the works.
• Ha! I was right. Grandma has a crush on the recipe owner.
• I love being surprised and I wasn't expecting for the grandfather to be wanting Granny's chili secret. Nice!
• "If she's as lovely as you are..." Okay, just how old is this firefighter? I don't see anyone under the age of 60 or 70 using the word lovely to describe a woman.
• Cute ending! He tells her the secret is a pinch of sugar. I actually add pinches of sugar to a few of my recipes. :)

Photo by Jake Przesbo via Flickr Creative Commons License

In the Market for True Love

by Alyssa Symon from the September 20, 2021 issue

Tagline: When fellow farmer and foe Eddie winks at her across the stall at the farmers market, Kathleen senses something new growing between them.

Observations: This story used a trope that I remember Alex Pollock saying she wanted to see more of...enemies to lovers. The key to this type of story is to move from the character "hating" the other person to deciding they might be a potential mate. It's hard to do in 800 words but obviously possible.

First you establish the reason for the animosity. In this story, Kathleen and Eddie had rival farmers market businesses. But as the story progresses, we see her feelings going back and forth, moving from negative to positive. Here's a breakdown:

• Negative: She notices the crowd across the way at Eddie's stall and hopes his squash are underripe.
• Negative: "...as much as Kathleen loathed the way his business took away from hers..."
• Positive: "...she couldn't help but admire the view [of his body.]"
• Positive: "He had that intoxicating smell she adored, the earthy aroma one acquired form picking beans and digging up tubers."
• Positive: Flustered, she flushes when he winks at her.
• Positive: She giggles when he suggests their situations will reverse next Saturday.
• Positive: Her heartbeat quickens when Eddie rubs a smudge off her face. 
• Positive: She gets butterflies due to his proximity.
• Positive: She accepts is dinner invitation.

Interesting to see there wasn't really too much negative, right? So, to write an enemies to lovers story, start out with the reason for the animosity and spend the rest of the time showing the feelings change over time. In this story, only a day passed, but you could easily make the story cover a longer span of time.

Photo by Gemma Billings via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Sweetest Love of All

 by Marcella Robinson from the September 13, 2021 issue

Tagline: After swooning over ice-cream stand owner Rich all summer, Ellie is sure it will come to nothing...until one fateful cone changes everything.

Observations: In my class, How to Write and Sell Romance to Woman's World Magazine, I give you a bunch of ideas on how to keep your story to 800 words. One of those ideas is to keep physical description of characters to a minimum, but this story had an unusual amount of description--of Ellie, of Rich and of the park itself. (I enjoyed reading those details and the lovely feelings the park description evoked.)

You never want to sacrifice character interaction/connection for the sake of character physical description. It's much more important to show your characters talking, laughing, sharing ice cream, sharing stories, etc. than it is to tell the reader they both have brown hair. However, I didn't see any sacrifices made in this story. There is still plenty of on-the-page interaction. We see them connecting in so many ways...

• the smiles exchanged
• the inside joke about him eating his profits
• the date they make to meet in a week
• his thoughtful observation that she liked sprinkles
• their conversation about their respective businesses
• finally, their hands touching

This last thing--Ellie putting her hand in his--let's look at this more closely. There are 11 stages of physical intimacy. Stage four is hand to hand/arm. Four! (Stage 1 - Eye to body, Stage 2 - Eye to eye, Stage 3 - Voice to voice.) In this excellent article on the subject, they say:

The first three stages could happen quickly, but you don’t want to immediately rush into touching a stranger’s arm, or hand.

You’ll need to continue the conversation, take the time to get to know each other and build up your connection and friendship before you start touching.

Rushing through the steps of physical intimacy can be creepy--in real life and in fiction. Make sure your characters have conversed, gotten to know each other and built up their connection and friendship before they start touching. I'm not talking about catching someone to prevent them from falling, accidentally reaching for the same head of lettuce and that type of thing. I'm talking about intentional touching. Don't rush it or you risk making the reader (or editor) feel uncomfortable.

Photo by Elsie Hui via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love on Labor Day

by Mishael Austin Witty from the September 6, 2021 issue

Tagline: When a dashing captain saves the day at her company's holiday boat party, Becca finds that a new chance at love is on the horizon.

Observations: This was a classic misunderstanding story--Becca meets the captain of the boat and has no idea he's actually the owner of the company she works for. 

Notice how Jack intervened when Becca's little boy was getting out of hand. It's critical to show the hero and heroine connecting somehow, and if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then the way to a woman's heart just might be through her child. LOL 

Overall, cute story, but here comes a purely personal opinion that you are more than welcome to disagree with. In the past few years, sexual harassment has been prevalent in the news, so I might refrain from a boss/employee story just because of that. No doubt, real life boss and employee relationships can turn out to be happily-ever-after ones, and no doubt Woman's World readers (and the editors, for that matter) are well aware that dating your boss might not be the wisest idea. But even so, I would steer clear of this kind of story, especially if you're a new writer who hasn't sold to them yet. You might have better odds choosing a plot that isn't (potentially) controversial. :)

Photo by BluEyedA73 via Flickr Creative Commons License

Hand-painted Romance

by Wendel Potter from the August 30, 2021 issue

Tagline: As a recent widow, Desi finds her only solace painting pottery for her store...until handsome Sam arrives to fill her world with the color of love.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: For those of you who are new to my blog, sometimes instead of reading and then analyzing the story, I just type my reactions to the story as I read. To be honest, I often do this when I have several stories sitting in a pile and need to catch up. LOL However, never fear. I will still point out teaching moments if I find them.

• Hmm. I'm wondering what kind of store this is.
• Nice description of the setting.
• Desi has a dog. A dog can be a handy secondary character the hero/heroine can talk to, instead of talking to themselves. 
• Oh, it's a summer-only store that her late husband gifted her. That's so sweet. However, I'm assuming she threw the pots herself, as well as painted them, but it's a little unclear. 
• So, she's painting some extremely detailed scenes on her wares. It's not the type of pottery I was imagining. Maybe she's doing porcelain type pottery not regular clay.
• Desi is short for Desiree. That makes sense. All this time I was thinking Desi as in Desi Arnaz of I Love Lucy fame. LOL
• Aha! A coincidence. He just happens to be an air conditioner repairman and she is having problems with her A/C. The coincidence is a time-honored device in Woman's World stories.
• Nice...they barter the plate for the thermostat. I think bartering is something that should be brought back. It would certainly provide a little savings come tax time!

Photo by Francisco Anzola via Flickr Creative Commons License

Crazy "Fore" You

by Marcella Robinson from the August 16, 2021 issue

Tagline: When a rogue golf ball whizzes past his head on the course, Ben is glad for the near miss...and the surprising new shot at love it brings into his life.

Observations: I thought the humor in this story was adorable and it reminded me of an aspect of humor you should keep in mind. I'm talking about inside jokes.

Inside jokes are a two-edged sword. When people use them and don't let other people in on the joke, it can be hurtful. But on the other hand, it's an excellent way to instantly connect with other people, even if you've only known them a couple of minutes.  

In this story, the inside joke was that Olivia had no control over her golf balls when executing a full swing and luckily missed the hero, but hit a tree instead. They laugh about her being a danger to trees a couple of times. The joke is a welcome addition to the story, not only for its entertainment value, but as a way to show the characters connecting. Lack of connection between the hero and heroine is one of the top three reasons editors reject a story and the inside joke is a great tool to have in your connection toolbox.

Photo by Wojciech Kulicki via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Welcome Change

 by Crystal Moore from the August 23, 2021 issue

Tagline: Sharing her home with guests to make some money, Nora is unsure of herself...until handsome singleton Dean comes to stay.

Observations: I always appreciate seeing a story that features modern life and this one was refreshing with its inclusion of the booming industry of vacation rentals and the like. I thought it was a great idea to add that the story of a widow coming to terms with her life after her husband had gone and admitting vacationing guests into her own home. This is a great way to come up with a story idea--think of a tried and true trope and add your own twist to it, or just taking two tropes and putting them together.

For instance, here's a list of fifteen random tropes. Pick two for a mash-up and see if you can think of a story that includes them both.

Library

Nursery (the gardening kind)

Candy shop

Cultural festival

Frozen pond

Mechanic

Grocery store clerk

Single parent

Teacher

Birdwatcher

A puppy

An heirloom

Homemade pie

Blizzard

Family reunion

I choose birdwatcher and library. Maybe someone is new to the neighborhood and puts up a bird feeder that becomes very popular. He or she wants to know what kind of birds are visiting and he goes to the library to find a book on local species. Or maybe I ditch the library. Maybe the person at the store where he/she bought the feeder suggests he/she join the local birdwatching club. Maybe he/she is younger and expects all the club members will be senior citizens, but is pleasantly surprised and meets someone her own age and with many of the same interests.

What if I choose the puppy and the heirloom? Maybe a woman is walking her dog in the park and her dog gets into a scuffle with another dog. No one is harmed, but she realizes her priceless charm bracelet has fallen off her wrist. The owner of the other dog says his grandfather owns a metal detector. Voila. They find the bracelet and love. 

See how it works? Just let your mind wander.

Photo by Elizabeth Backus via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Perfect Match

by Shelley Cooper from the August 9, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Valerie checks in on her new neighbor while he's sick, their meeting sparks a fever in both their hearts that nothing can tame.

Observations: I really enjoyed this matchmaker story. It was also a very loose enemies-to-lovers story as well, which I think is hard to do in 800 words. I loved how the ending was the two daughters celebrating their success on their phones, however, I did think it was a little odd that both parents were each meeting their 12-year-olds at the restaurant, but perhaps that's what it's like in a small town. You can let your pre-teen be much more independent than in the suburbs. 

Photo by Melanie Tata via Flickr Creative Commons License

Special Delivery

 

by Mary Ann Joyce from the August 2, 2021 issue

Tagline: When a black-and-white cat ambles through the pet door of his summer cottage, Sam never expects his arrival to lead to purrfect love.

Observations: I loved this story so much. There are so many things to point out that make this a study in how to write a Woman's World story, I'm not sure I can cover them all, but I'm going to try, laundry-list-style.

Her word choices are so spot on. Here are some of the ones I relished.

watching the summer sunset fade

like an uncle who fell asleep on your couch after a party

the feline vagabond

a pleasant warmth spreading through his chest (<--not overwriting!)

their conversation as natural as apple pie and ice cream (what a comfort-infused simile!)

I am a fan of epistolary novels--novels written as a series of documents--and this mini version was charming. The fact that the notes were exchanged via cat...? Adorable. The humorous and sometimes hilarious little drawings also added greatly
to this element.

I also appreciated how much time passed during the story. It was part of why I was utterly convinced these two had fallen in love.

I adored the happily-ever-after ending as well. The whole story made my heart sing.

Photo by Ivan Radic via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Best Catch Ever

by Elizabeth Palmer from the July 12, 2021 issue

Tagline: John's crush on his fishing-gear saleswoman, Joy, leaves him feeling like a fish out of water...until one fateful day he reels in love.

Observations: I loved this story. I loved how there were two relationships to love--one that was decades old and one that was just beginning.

Initially, we see the wonderful relationship between the two brothers, John and Alan. It was so heartwarming and realistic. We see that they annoy each other, tease each other. They are willing to be each other's wingman. Alan introduced John to his late wife. He's also interested in John's happiness and reminds him that even his late wife wanted him to live his life and move on. All of this is established in the first third of the story. 

But we also see John's crush on Joy and how that developed. 

"Oh, Joy, is it? Just how often do you come here?"

"Often enough..."

We see John's inner conflict--he's a widower. 

We see in one paragraph that John isn't just reacting to an electric hand touch or her looks. His attraction is deeper...

John felt his heart swell. He'd gone from being charmed by Joy, to impressed by her knowledge, to simply being...enchanted.

We get all of this first and so when "her radiant smile took his breath away," it makes total sense. It's not overwriting because the foundation has been laid. This is the kind of of thing you should be striving for and I understand that it's difficult when our word count is so restrictive, but it's this kind of thing that can be the difference between an acceptance or a rejection.

Photo by Cristian Bortes via Flickr Creative Commons License

Father's Day Shenanigans

 by Pamela Moran from the June 21, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Beth Abbott finds herself caught in a matchmaking scheme with the handsome Grant Davis, she never expects it'll lead her to love.

Observations: I wanted to point out that, although there is the traditional three-act structure here, the first act is almost half the story! I haven't collected any hard data, but usually the second act is the longest. However, there was a lot to establish in this story. We meet the precocious Katie (matchmaker #1). We see that Beth is strongly attracted to Grant and vice versa. We discover that Beth's father is complicit. And just at the end of act one, we get the info about the Father's Day brunch the next day.

Act two is the shortest. In it, all four characters meet and agree to have brunch together. (By coincidence? It's unclear. Maybe Katie and Beth's dad were more diabolical than they appeared.)

The third act just cements Beth and Grant's connection as Grant asks Beth out to dinner. There's a marvelous exchange--the whole story is, really--where we see the characters' amusement over the matchmaker's shenanigans, emphasizing the story's title.

Favorite line: Me, out in the wild at the hardware store was certainly not my finest look.

The Sweetest Treat of All

by Veda Boyd Jones from the June 14, 2021 issue

Tagline: When the ice-cream truck rolls through his neighborhood one warm summer day, David is surprised to find new love on the menu.

*Stream of Consciousness Observations: Ice-cream trucks bring back such happy memories for me of the Big Sticks and the Strawberry Shortcake ice cream bars I used to love. I'm sure they bring similar nostalgic feelings for other readers too.

Oh, I love David's strategy of tiring the kids out so they'd go to sleep that evening. Smart!

Aha! Jones cleverly gave the heroine the information that David was their uncle, not their dad, using dialogue. 

LMAO at this line:

He glanced at his watch to stop her from seeing him blush. "It seems like they've been gone four days, not four hours."

There's a little grey moment where David thinks his employee might have a prior "claim" on Maggie, but this is quickly resolved when Maggie says she's friends with the employee's girlfriend.

We have a sort of black moment when David thinks he'll never see her again. But I'm thinking, "Dude, your employee is dating a friend of hers. It would be very easy to make contact." So black moment for him, not for the reader.

I'm just as excited to hear the chime of the truck again as Josie was. LOL

Oh, David, you just ruined your plan of exhausting the kids with mulching by amping them up with sugar! LOL

Awww, sweet (pardon the pun) ending!

*This is an analysis in which I just record my thoughts as I read the story.

Photo by Rafael Moreno via Flickr Creative Commons License

In the Market for True Love

 

by Joan Dayton from the June 7, 2021 issue

Tagline: Jeff's trips to the supermarket have left him with a crush on cashier Sandra. But will his latest walk down the produce aisle prove a recipe for love?

Observations: This story was told from the point of view of an adorable older man who is nervous about approaching his grocery store crush. Most of the story is just him thinking about all of the wonderful qualities Sandra has--her silver-streaked hair, her crow's feet, her perfume, her empathy and all the things they have in common. He's so love-struck, you find yourself really rooting for him to find his courage and ask Sandra out. Because this is a Woman's World story, of course he does, even if he does stammer a little.

Simply adorable!

Love is a Cake Walk

by Cher Tom from the May 17, 2021 issue

Tagline: When a handsome stranger stops into her bakery, Jaycee never expects the sweet treat that his visit has in store for her.

Observations: First of all, congratulations to Cher Tom! I helped her edit this story and I'm thrilled it got published! Woot woot woot!

I think Cher revised it even more after we worked on it together and I love the way she or the editors transformed it from a story about a May Day tradition to a wedding anniversary tradition. Great job.

Remember, you, too, can get my help polishing up a story. Click here for details.

Photo by Kimberly Vardeman via Flickr Creative Commons License

Raindrops and Butterflies

 by Pamela Moran from the May 10, 2021 issue

Tagline: When her childhood crush and neighbor, Todd, comes over to help Abby plant flowers for Mother's Day, love is in full bloom.

Observations: This is another example of how you can rely on oft used Woman's World tropes and still end up with a heartwarming story that the editors love. (And I did love this story, especially the dad and his satisfied smile.) A trope is defined as a common or overused theme or device. I embrace tropes and prefer to think of them as tried and true rather than cliche.

The tropes Moran used were 

• gardening 
• a quasi-matchmaker (Did her dad invite Todd over? The author left us guessing.)
• a helpful man (also known as man to the rescue)
• a late, beloved family member
• a post activity piece of pie

Honestly, sometimes I think about making some giant dice out of cardboard, writing tropes on them with sticky notes, then rolling them and challenging myself to write a story using those tropes.

In fact, here's printable pattern for a paper cube in case you think this is a good idea too. 

Photo by Stephanie via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Charming "Tail"

by Crystal Moore from the May 3, 2021 issue

Tagline: After running into a handsome stranger at the post office, Kat, a professional dog walker, gets the chance to have a whole new "leash" on love.

Observations: This week, I wanted to point out the utility of having an animal in a story, beyond the fact that the editors seem to like animals in stories. The animal can come in handy when the hero or heroine needs someone to talk to, as in this story.

Here, Kat is regretting they way she'd acted and is berating herself via her furry client...

"Who am I, Cinderella?" she asked Gus, her long-eared companion padding beside her in the park. "A clock strikes and I take off like a greyhound. I could've spared a few minutes to find out if he was single. Turned on the charm--maybe gotten his number. No offense," she said, stooping to scratch the hound's ears, "but my love life is going to the dogs."

Sure, the character can talk to herself or have thoughts in the narrative, but this dog served as the perfect sounding board. I wouldn't necessarily put a dog in the story for the sole purpose of being a sounding board, but if your story already has an animal in it, this is something you might want to do.

Photo by Alex Beattle via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Sweetest Love Story and Love Blooms in Spring

 byAmy Oliveira and MarciMcEachern, from the April 19 and April 26 issues, respectively

Taglines: After inheriting a candy shop, Evelyn can't see how she can afford to keep it...until handsome Tom opens her eyes to all the sweet possibilities.

When her handsome new neighbor approaches with a fun request, Lori's love life is suddenly blossoming with promise.

Observations: Both of these stories were excellent, but unfortunately, I couldn't find any teaching moments in either of them. It's hard sometimes, guys! 

Photos by LoriCaliforny and David Howard via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Oh, What a Knight?

by Chris Maday Schmidt from the April 12, 2021 issue

Tagline: When her elevator gets stuck on the way to a meeting, Sutton thinks she's out of luck...until a hunky passenger steps in...

Observations: Ms. Schmidt is very good at utilizing the single-sentence for a laugh. Check this out.

I think about that morning's call with the director of my nana and pop's assisted living facility, the hefty payment due for their care. And how my immediate fiscal status hangs in limbo.

Like this elevator.

In comedy, timing is everything. And that little pause after "limbo," makes all the difference.

Here are the other two examples from her story. In this one, she uses an m-dash instead of making the punchline a separate sentence, but the effect is the same.

With the clock ticking, I hitch up my skirt a few modest inches, raise my arms to grasp the ledge, and hoist myself--one centimeter.

And the last example...

GQ clears his throat. My skin tingles with awareness. Or heat rash.

Very funny stuff. Definitely put the one-sentence punchline in your writer's toolbox.

The Good Egg

 by Mary Ann Joyce from the April 5, 2021 issue

Tagline: Dory and her best friend, Jack, are searching for treasure at the annual Easter egg hunt...but what they find surprises them both: a chance for love.

Observations: Wow. Just...wow. If you're looking for a shining example of what a Woman's World story can be, this is it. The writing is so perfectly restrained and tight. Remember my post about overwriting? This is the opposite of overwriting. 

Here is the sentence that really jumped out at me and said, "I am not overwritten!"

His blue eyes flashed in the emerging sunshine.

Bam. It's a very simple sentence, but it's effective.

An over-writer might look at this sentence and feel it's too simple and embellish it in an attempt to Describe with a capital D. She might want to add a simile (or two) and at least one more adjective. She might choose a verb like bedazzled or blazed or shimmered. Can we agree that bedazzled would be overkill, considering Dory is just coming to realize she's attracted to Jack? Similarly, blazed is not only too much, it's difficult for anything to blaze in broad daylight. Shimmered is a wonderful word, but not quite right for this sentence because if things can't blaze in broad daylight, they certainly can't shimmer either. Shimmering is fainter.

Some of you may be thinking, "Oh, who cares if something can't really blaze in broad daylight?" Actually, you should care. One of the most, if not the most critical skill a writer must develop is the ability to choose the right words. It's not just a matter of looking a word up in a thesaurus and willy-nilly choosing one. You must be able to detect and understand the nuances of words and how they're used so you can use them yourself effectively. This is why good writers are avid readers. You can't understand how to correctly use the language unless you've been exposed to it. A lot. 

By the way, if you hire me as an editor, I'm more than happy to help you examine your word choices. I usually avoid this type of laser-focused fine-tuning and concentrate more on tone, plot, characterization, mechanics and punctuation. I don't want my clients to feel as if they're being nit-picked to death. However, if this is something you're interested in, just mention that to me at the get-go. :) Click here if you're interested in hiring me to edit your Woman's World story.

I also wanted to give Joyce a *Kate Willoughby Handshake for surprising me with the whole golden egg surprise. That was just delightful! I definitely did not see that coming and it was an adorable moment that I'm sure made every single reader wish they had a man as romantic and as creative as Jack in their lives.

*The Kate Willoughby Handshake is similar to the Paul Hollywood Handshake from the Great British Baking Show. It means the author succeeded in dazzling and surprising me.

Photo by jmv via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Sweet Reunion

 

by Wendel Potter from the March 29, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Allison Fletcher visits a lemonade stand, she discovers she's in for a sweet surprise--and a chance at renewed love!

Observations: This charming story is the perfect time to suggest a strategy that I've seen emerge in the world of romance novels which is focusing on tropes. 

Related to that, we all have certain story elements that we are drawn to, sometimes on a subconscious level. I attended a workshop once that talked about this very thing and how, if we incorporate things that really flip our own switches, it will make the act of writing more intrinsically fun which, in turn, helps us produce a better book. The workshop prompted to make a list of the things I'm drawn to in stories and movies so that I can include them in my own writing. (Obviously, some of the items on these lists aren't appropriate for a Woman's World story.)

For instance, some of the character types I love to see in books or movies are: 

• bad ass older people, especially grand dames who everyone is afraid of
• male friends who are like brothers
• chefs
• twins
• royalty
• honorable gentlemen
• overprotective big brothers
• narcissists who end up to be caring and generous
• bookworms
• wallflowers
• serial killers
• chess masters

Some of the details I love to see in stories or movies are:

• comeuppance scenes
• bets or pranks
• kisses in the rain
• shopping for clothes for a special date or event
• reluctant makeovers
• swooping up a woman on a motorcycle or horse or vine or what have you
• ice skating
• using fame for good
• grand entrances
• fictional reality shows
• surprise reunions, especially military
• animals being rescued

Places/locations I love to see in stories or movies:

• boarding schools
• a rooftop oasis
• trains
• bakeries
• bookstores
• hidden passageways
• yachts
• penthouses
• palaces
• any place decorated with fairy lights

In this story, I saw several tropes that have proven over and over to be attractive to readers and the editors. The first one I noticed was including something nostalgic. In this case, it was a lemonade stand and the soda jerk cap. The demographic of the readership skews older so it makes sense to include things that they can relate to, something that hails from "the good old days." Teachers are also popular as characters, and as far as plots are concerned, having people return to their hometown is seen often. This could be a story-generating method--choose a few popular tropes and try to come up with a story that includes them all. Give it a try!

Photo by EvinDC via Flickr Creative Commons License

Lucky in Love

 by Christine Greifzu from the March 22, 2021 issue

Tagline: After a broken engagement, Kelly is sure she's cursed in love...until a surprise guest at her Saint Patrick's Day booth turns everything around.

Observations: For those of you who don't know, backstory is the stuff that happened to your characters before the story starts. It's like their personal history.  Obviously, if they're an adult, a lot has happened to them, and just as obviously, you don't need to mention it all, especially considering how short these stories need to be.

In this particular story, the author dropped one bit of backstory at the beginning--

Since this was her first year renting a booth...

--and then waited until the hero showed up to tell us one pertinent fact about Kelly's romantic history--

After a broken engagement last year, she was overdue for some [luck], and a good man in her life, come to that.

And that's it! That is all the backstory we get. It's also all the backstory we need. Don't overload your story with unnecessary information. You don't have that luxury with an 800 word word count.

Photo by GoToVan via Flickr Creative Commons license

Writing Better: Overwriting

I believe it's easier to improve as a writer if you know what you're doing wrong. One of the most common mistakes made by amateur (and even some professional) writers is to overwrite. Overwriting is like overacting but with words. 

Here's a reverse-engineered example of overwriting from a story I recently submitted about a man who is planning to pop the question. (Cross your fingers for me!)

Overwritten

Being well prepared helped with the nerves that battered his body but didn't eradicate them completely because what if...what if Allie gave him the one answer that would tear his heart into a million miserable pieces? 

Toned down

Being well prepared helped with the nerves but didn't banish them entirely because what if...what if the unthinkable happened and she said no?

See the difference? Doesn't it feel like the first example is just trying too hard? Resist the temptation to make your writing "better" by amping up your adjectives and verbs, adding too many adverbs or even just overdoing the emotions appropriate for the situation or character. 

And read this article. It's truly excellent.

https://kidlit.com/two-signs-of-overwriting-and-why-its-a-problem/

Photo by Raw Pixel Ltd via Flickr Creative Commons License

Cupid's Arrow

by Rochelle Banks from the March 8, 2021 issue 

Tagline: After his dog escapes, Eric Johnson runs into a woman trying to "steal" the pup and take him home...but ends up stealing Eric's heart instead.

Observations: I really enjoyed the humor in this story and the original premise. I've seen plenty of mix-ups in Woman's World stories, but they usually involve humans, not dogs! I also liked Eric. He was so earnest and when he panicked because their conversation was ending, it was adorable.

I laughed out loud at the name of the Humane Society's big event: the Fur Ball. 

Lots of fun.

Photo by Craig Richards via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Blizzard to Remember

by Marcie McEachern from the March 1, 2021 issue

Tagline: In the midst of a late-season blizzard and power outage, Anita lights a fire to share with her new neighbor, Calvin...and sparks of love begin to fly.

Observations: I thought I'd do another stream-of-consciousness post with this story. This is where I just type my thoughts as I read.

I love chili on wintery days. And corn bread too! With honey butter.  Honey butter is mandatory. I like how Anita thinks--slow cookers are fantastic for things like chili.

Oh, I might have tried to cook the cornbread in the fireplace. I toured an old cotton plantation once and learned that you can bake stuff like cookies and cake in Dutch ovens in a fireplace.

Calvin was obviously no Boy Scout, seeing as how he was completely unprepared for a power outage. LOL

Hmm, I'm going to assume Anita didn't have Calvin's phone number. 

I love Scrabble!

Oh, he spells D-A-T-E. Very clever!

Great story.

Photo by Nathan Borror via Flickr Creative Commons License

Something Borrowed

 by G.G. Andrew from the February 22, 2021 issue

Tagline: Emma is a librarian who's unsure that her love story will ever be written, until a dreamy repeat visitor makes a fairy-tale introduction.

Observations: This story is a good example of showing a character arc. While character arcs are a must in longer fiction, in a Woman's World story, it's not absolutely necessary. However, I do think showing the growth of one of the main characters makes a WW story a little meatier.

In this story, Emma starts out a timid librarian who admires a man who comes to the library every week. Until now, she's been afraid to approach him, but circumstances force her to say something or perhaps never see him again. (She could actually just go to the library at Monday at 12:30, even though she's not working, but we'll pretend that's not an option. LOL) By the end of the story, Emma has conquered her fear and given the object of her affections her phone number. Hooray!

Deciding on a point of growth for a character can be a good jumping off point for a story. Brainstorm a few "weaknesses" or fears and build a story around someone overcoming the weakness or facing the fear. The fear does not have to be romantic in nature, as Emma's was. It can be someone being afraid of driving on the freeway and taking lessons and falling for her driving instructor. You could write about someone who doesn't exercise but who wants to be healthier or someone who spends too much money on books and who ventures to the library. The possibilities are endless. You could also think about an aspect about yourself (or even a friend or family member) that you'd like to improve on and write a story based on that. 

Photo by Lydia Liu via Flickr Creative Commons License

Falling for You

by Alison Richards from the February 8, 2021 issue

Tagline: When Julie's handsome archnemesis, Mike, arrives at their annual work Super Bowl party, it's game on...until he scores a touchdown in her heart.

Observations: Congratulations to one of my workshop students, Alison Richards, on the sale of her story! I'm so excited for her. My apologies about the white strips behind the text. I can't figure out how to get rid of it. LOL

This story was about a potluck duel of sorts. The heroine fancies herself a skilled cook because her football inspired deviled eggs look so cute. Then, her handsome co-worker shows up with a dip that looks like an entire football field. 

I wanted to point out this one paragraph in the last third of the story because it's doing an important job. I hope you have the whole story in front of you because the point I'm trying to make will only make sense if you can go back and read the whole story again.

They chatted in the kitchen as she helped him make goal posts out of pretzel sticks. She told him about her father's stunt work and how she now taught volunteer classes in balance and fall prevention at the senior center. He explained that he'd moved to town when his youngest child graduated from college. His wife had passed away a few years earlier, and it was time for a fresh start.

Please notice that there isn't that much connecting going on in this particular paragraph. Most of that happens real time--when he comes to her rescue after her fall and when they're bantering. What I wanted you to notice was how this paragraph acts as a transition from the middle of the story to the next.

Basically the story goes like this:

Beginning of the story - We meet Julie and get a feel for her character. Then she falls.

Middle of the story - We meet Mike as he comes to her rescue. We learn about their "rivalry." They connect, real time, joking around with each other.

End of the story - They make a truce and pave the way for more romance in the future.

So, think of this kind of transition paragraph as one of the tools you can use when crafting your stories. 

Photo by Dennis Yang via Flickr Creative Commons license

Love in Aisle #4

by Deborah Clack from the January 25, 2021 issue

Tagline: Cheryl is just picking up dessert at the grocery store...but when Kurt appears, it looks like love is on the menu...

Observations: I haven't done a stream-of-consciousness post in a while, so here goes! For those of you who haven't seen this, it's where I just type down what I'm thinking as I read the story. 

Nice description of the guy.

I love that line..."Are you having a salad crisis?" LOL

Aha! Clack clearly knows her greens. I don't like frisee or kale in salads. The texture of frisee is too fluffy and raw kale is too tough.

I'm always a little amused when characters' fingers touch when handing something over. Maybe I'm a germaphobe or something, but when I take or give things to and from strangers, I try really hard not to touch them. LOL But you know, it's a romance story device, so I'm fine with it.

Ha! I've never heard of break and bake. LOL

And once Cheryl mentions a dinner she's going to, I immediately suspect they're going to the same dinner.

I'm impressed by Kurt's ingenuity regarding the bundt cake.

I liked how Clack revealed that they were indeed going to the same dinner.

Really cute ending with the kale confession! But I did wonder about them faking eating dinner and "ditch[ing] them for dinner at Sal's Steak House." I kind of wish they'd just made a date to go out another night.

Photo by denabola 2025 via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love on the Ice

 by Marcella Robinson from the January 18, 2021 issue

Tagline: Nora is still feeling the chill of her divorce...until Blake warms her heart with the promise of new love.

Observations: This was a lovely story. There wasn't anything particularly novel or different about it; it was simply well-written solid stuff.

My favorite part was this:

It was as if a veil of safety draped over Nora, being so close to him. Even though it was only her hand on his forearm, strength emanated from him. Strength that he could take on any burden and carry it with ease.

Then, Robinson made me laugh when she had that big strong hero fall after all. That was unexpected and, as is the new tradition on this blog, Robinson earns the Kate Willoughby Handshake for surprising me! 

Photo by XTRAICE via Flickr Creative Commons License

Snow Day

 by Shelley Cooper from the January 4, 2021 issue

Tagline: In the midst of a snowball fight with her nephews, Maeve joins forces with their handsome neighbor, Simon...and gets hit with a surprising new chance at love.

Observations: Shelley Cooper has done it again. I loved this story! This is my favorite part:

Since she wasn't one to get a dare go unchallenged, she gathered a handful of snow and mounded it into a tight ball.

"What's she doing?" Patrick's voice held a panicked note.

"She's not going to throw that at Mr. Graves?" Peter sounded equally panicked.

"Yes, she is!" Parker's eyes shone with admiration as Maeve stood and aimed.

I also loved the rules that kept cropping up.

Photo by John Lodder via Flickr Creative Commons License

Skating Through Christmas

 
by Shelley Cooper from the December 21, 2020 issue

Tagline: Facing Christmas alone, Holly is struggling to get into the holiday spirit, when a surprising gift leads her to the skating pond...and a shot at love.

Observations: When I got to the part where her parents gave her her old skates, I knew this story was going to be fantastic and I wasn't disappointed. Maybe it's because when I was about seven years old, I took ice skating lessons with dreams of being a Chinese Peggy Fleming. (I think I lasted about a month. LOL)

The phrase "heart-clenchingly handsome," didn't float my boat, but I was highly amused by their holiday themed names - Nicholas Winter and Holly Snow. Too cute.

At the end of the story, Cooper calls back two things that she introduces at the beginning, a great trick to tie things together, sort of like when you gather a stack of papers and then jostle them together so they're all squared up.

Here's a quote for the first call back.

"...The theme for this holiday is relaxation."

Then, at the end of the story...

The smile on his face reminded her of what the season was really about: togetherness.

For call back number two, the cancelled blind date doesn't seem significant at the beginning of the story until you (and the characters!) realize they were each other's blind date.

This story wins the Kate Willoughby Handshake for surprising me. I hadn't foreseen that they were each other's blind date.

Photo by Jeremy Keith via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Perfectly Good Man

 by Marcie McEachern from the December 14, 2020 issue

Tagline: Kristen is unsure if moving to a new town was the right choice, until a dashing stranger gives her the sign she's been hoping for.

Observations: It's been a while since I saw a story with the trope of "Grandma's Advice," so I was glad to see it in this story. This is a tried and true Woman's World plot in which the heroine remembers a piece of advice, usually a saying, that a relative always said. It's usually about love, but it doesn't have to be. It's also usually a heroine, but you could swap the genders for a twist. Usually the advice ends up coming true, but McEachern put her own twist on it and wrote a story that did not conform to the norm. 

I liked the humor at the end of the story. 

Photo by Marco Verch via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Thanksgiving Saving Grace

 

by Maria Gorman from the November 30, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Grace gets a flat tire on the way to her sister's Thanksgiving dinner, a handsome stranger comes to her rescue...and winds up her guest of honor.

Observations: Okay, I have a confession to make. I am addicted to Criminal Minds. I never watched this show when it was on the networks, but I discovered it on Netflix and I can't stop watching episodes. Unfortunately, this means I am thinking about serial killers more frequently than most people, which is why I couldn't help thinking that Grace needed to be much more careful, especially on a back country road where there are no witnesses. LOL

Other than that, and my thought that she should have called her sister ahead of time to see if it was okay, I thought it was a solid man-to-the-rescue story. 

Photo by Rodney Campbell via Flickr Creative Commons License